On & on & on ...

      How about since I've been gone so much lately that we have a super long entry today? Does that sound good? Well, too bad; we're going to do it anyway. Pack a snack, and let's get to it.

Theater talk
      For the next couple of nights, I'll be attending auditions for the next play that the local theater group is performing in September. I'm mostly there to help a new director (new to the group, but she has a lot of theater experience) get oriented to our theater. I'll be helping her and also helping build the set, do the posters and programs, and just whatever is needed. Yes, I'll be calling folks to do things, FF. It won't just be me down there.
      We intend to build the set for the play in such a way so that it can be used for the next several plays. We'll just repaint and use different furniture, hang curtains over unneeded entrances and so on. This will cut down on the work involved as well as save us some money. At least, that's the plan.

Writing
      Over the next month, I'll be writing/re-writing Murder at the Witch's Cottage. I'm trying to increase the suspense, raise the laughter level, fix a couple of glaring plot holes, and generally polish it until it gleams. I hope.
      I'm also plotting my next National Novel Writing Month project. As you recall, that happens in November. NaNoWriMo is when thousands of people sign up to write a 50,000 word novel in the month of November. It was great fun last year. No, really it was. It was crazy and nerve-wracking and hard, but fun. Hmm. Perhaps I need to work on my definition of fun.

Broken things
      Saturday night I woke up to a hot house. The central air unit had broken again. We called the repair guys, and lo and behold, they actually came out that morning and fixed it. The unit is over 20 years old and needs to be replaced. I'm going to do that as soon as I win the lottery.
      My car is having problems, too. I've changed the plugs, put in a new oxygen sensor and changed the ignition coils. I've ran a pint of fuel injector cleaner through the tank. I replaced the spark plugs' hoods. (Don't ask.) It still is running rough and throwing strange computer codes. Unless I can figure something out over the next couple of days, it's going to have to go into the shop for work. Sigh. Which means I need to get my old car running again so that I have transportation while it's in the shop.
      I hate taking my car to a mechanic. Most of them don't seem to know what they doing, and they charge outrageous prices. Cars have become so complicated with electronics and computers that it's almost like voodoo to fix them. Maybe I just need to sprinkle some chicken blood on its engine ... maybe not.

Old TV shows
      This weekend, TV Land had a marathon of Daniel Boone episodes. I loved that show when I was a kid. Daniel Boone was the coolest even though he wore a dead animal on his head. But I wanted to be his Indian companion Mingo. Mingo was a revelation compared to other Indians on TV. He was educated at Oxford, shot and hunted better than most white men with a rifle and a bow, was funny, witty and intelligent, not to mention he swung a whip better than Indiana Jones ever thought about doing.

Snack break
      I have to get to the theater now. Eat your snack and I'll be back later.

Back
      Of course, now I'm wondering if the folks who read this earlier will come back to read this add-on. Well, if they don't, they will just miss out on all the blogging goodness that follows ...
      Remember my books Dragons Gather and Darkness, Oklahoma? I'm still working on them, although they have to take a back seat to Murder at the Witch's Cottage for the next couple of months. Anyway, I thought that maybe I'd share more of them with you. So ... just comment with the page number you'd like to read of one of those two, and I'll post those pages here.

Postcard interlude
      Frenzied Feline sent me this postcard. Cool, eh?


      My postcard collection goes back 30 years now. I was looking through it the other day and found a couple of cards from girls that I don't remember. I was looking at the signatures and wondering who they were and where they are now and what happened between us. Of course, they date from my college days when I fell and out of love weekly. I had all the maturity of a Styrofoam cup back then ... Now I've moved up to paper.

A Complaint
      I just finished reading yet another book that featured a vast conspiracy involving the Catholic Church and the Templars. Dan Brown has a lot to answer for as he inspired (if you can call it that) all these books that attempt to show how the church has keep the "truth" from us. What? Did these authors get scared in Sunday School? All these books attempt to show us some sort of shocking revelation, but they lack basic story-telling and only have their gimmick. I don't think any of they will be remembered in 20 years, much less 10. But I guess that applies to most books today. And after all, they did get published so what do I know? I'm just glad that I checked the book out from the library and didn't actually pay for it. I confess that I paid for my copy of The Da Vinci Code. I've been embarrassed about it ever since.

Rain
      We got some! Woohoo! We need more, but the rain finally fell in my town. I'm hoping for more over the next few days. The hurricane in the Gulf is supposed to generate some more. I hope the hurricane isn't bad for those folks down there, but I'm grateful for the rain here. My yard is mostly dirt now, but the trees appreciate it. And I know the animals do. The streams are mostly just dry now, but these rains will revive some of them.

A Victory!
      I paid off a credit card today! Finally, another debt gone. The next one will be paid off, God willing, in June of 2007. I still have a long way to go to pay off all my debts, but pardon me while I do a small victory dance. I'm making it. Slowly but surely.

A bit of Shakespeare
      And now we close with the end of the famous balcony scene.

From Romeo and Juliet

JULIET
Sweet, so would I:
Yet I should kill thee with much cherishing.
Good night, good night! Parting is such sweet sorrow,
That I shall say good night till it be morrow.

(Exits)

ROMEO
Sleep dwell upon thine eyes, peace in thy breast!
Would I were sleep and peace, so sweet to rest!
Hence will I to my ghostly father's cell,
His help to crave, and my dear hap to tell.

(Exits)

      I'm exiting for the night, too. Pleasant dreams and have a great tomorrow!

Chores and a nap

      I got a lot done and also had a nice nap. What more could you want from life? Well, actually I have a list, but it was still a good day. How was your day? Anything exciting go on?
      It's raining all around us, but no rain here yet. I'm hoping we'll get some tonight or tomorrow. We sure need a couple of inches of rainfull. We need more than that, but the ground is so hard that it would run off. Several days of slow steady rainfall would be wonderful.
      I've been having trouble with my car. It's had its spark plugs changed, fuel injectors cleaned, new hoods installed, and other mechanicy things, but it's still running rough and giving terrible MPG. Tomorrow afternoon, I'm going to change the ignition coils. If that doesn't work, then it has to go to a mechanic because I'll all out of ideas.
      It's been a long day so I think I'll close now. Talk to you tomorrow. Have a great evening. Night.

This and that and a bit of those too

      I'm not at the theater tonight! I'm doing other things. The production runs through Sunday afternoon, and I might try to make that performance, but otherwise I'm done for a while. Well, there are always things to do for the group, but I have other things to concentrate on this weekend.
      Such as? Well, chores for one. My house has got into a fearful state. (Nevada.) There are papers, filing, bills, dishes, clothes, etc., all over the place. It's amazing how cluttered a house can get. I suspect clutter-sprites have built a nest in my house. I'll have to root them out and send them packing.
      And writing. I have several writing projects that are clamoring for my attention, yelling, jumping up and down, throwing scenes at me. I think they're going to burst something if I don't put some time into them soon. And I wouldn't want that. Some of them would bleed terribly.
      And napping. I'm going to get at least two naps over this weekend. Guilt-free, planned naps. I feel giddy about that. Or not.
      Did I mention that I didn't much care for the 200th episode of Stargate: SG1? It was a collection of short jokes and clips. Not what I expected from a landmark event in the series, but it got great ratings and other fans really liked it. This week the SciFi Channel announced the cancellation of SG1. I suppose they did it so that the channel can run more C-grade horror movies and old cancelled series from the 80s. Eventually it will disappear from my viewing habits completely.
      I found a new mystery series that I'm really enjoying. The series is called the Matthew Bartholomew Chronicles and is written by Susanna Gregory. The first book is A Plague on Both Your Houses, and it got me hooked on the series. I've now read three, and they just keep getting better. As soon as I can, I'm going to order more of the series.
      Tomorrow I start on the Special K challenge. You know, eat two bowls of Special K cereal a day instead of breakfast and lunch and lose five to ten pounds. We'll see how it goes. I like Special K so that's a plus, but I bet I'll get really tired of it after two weeks. Maybe not.
      My fish are doing fine to answer the couple of people who asked about them. They're fat and as sassy as fish can be. Which, admittedly, isn't a lot of sass. But compared with other fish, they're da bomb. Tomorrow I intend to give their tank a good cleaning. They always appreciate that. I think.
      Well, I have to be going now and get the weekend started. See you tomorrow. Have a great night and great tomorrow.

A fact about me

      Crystal called my house tonight and left a message on my answering machine that said she thought I was spending too much time down at the local community theater. I totally agree. I just don't know what to do about it.
      It is against my nature to leave something undone or to do it in a haphazard way. If I'm going to be involved in an activity, I want it to be something that I can be proud of. I'd be much happier if I could let things slide. But I don't know how, other than just walking away. I have difficulty in settling.
      Truthfully, that's probably my problem in relationships. I want them to be wonderful. I want to keep working on them until they are wonderful. I want wonderful or at least the possibility of wonderful all the time. I must be exhausting to be around. I certainly make myself tired sometimes.
      Not that I'm bringing this up to say that I'm going to change. I've tried it before, but I didn't like letting things slide. I didn't like just doing the minimum. I can't be happy that way. I can't be proud that way. I'm not me without that striving to be better.
      When I see a problem or get told about a problem, I want to fix it. I want to make it better. I think there are always solutions. We can try them until we get one that works. Doesn't that make sense?
      There are lot of bloggers out on the Net who like to point out the problems that we face. They don't seem to understand that talk is cheap. Action, that's the thing. Getting out there and making change happen. Fighting for what you believe in it. It's exhausting and frustrating, and I can tell you now that if you're fighting for something good, you will lose more times than you win, but I promise that at the end of the day, at the end of your life, you'll look back with pride. Your life will have mattered.
      And that's why I wouldn't change even if I knew how.

What's left

      I thought of you this evening. I was behind a girl in line at a pizza restaurant, and she turned to talk to a friend and smiled. That smile was just like yours. For a moment, she was you.
      For a moment, I stood there, flooded by memories so strong that I nearly stepped toward her. I felt my arms want to rise to hold her close. And then she was someone else again.
      It left me jarred all evening. I kept thinking of how good we were before it got all bad. Do you know that I remember our first kiss? The uncertainty, the trembling, the sheer terror and glory of that kiss. I think I've rated every kiss against that one ever since.
      And now I'm older. I can see clearly what made it go bad, how we weren't right for each other, and that our lives are so much better now that we don't see each other and live half a country apart. At least mine is. I hope yours is, too. I don't know. But I won't try to find out.
      Because on evenings like this when I'm dining on regrets and memories, when I can taste your body, when I think about how we would throw our bodies together like we were drowning, when all these years seem like something I could step across if you'd just hold out your hand or call me, it's better that I don't know. It's better that I don't think of that temptation. It's better that I don't think of you.
      But this evening, I did. I thought about how it could have gone differently if I'd been braver, wiser, more loving. If you had been honest, stronger, more loving. Those sweet, bitter might-have-beens.
      I guess it's just the night for it. Tomorrow I won't think of it. Tomorrow I will be wise again. And happy to have this life that I have now for all its faults.
      You won't ever read this. Or if you do, I won't know because that's how it has to be. But I wonder one thing ... I wonder if you have evenings like this, too.

Before the curtain

       In just a few minutes, Knaves begins. As always before these events, I'm nervous. It requires quite a performance from me. I never know for sure if I have it in me. Well, whether I do or not, it's going to start soon and should be over with sometime Sunday. I doubt I will have time to post Saturday, but if I do, I will stop by briefly.
      How are things in your world? Are you as tired of the heat as I am? I would never have never thought that I would long for cold weather, but I'm actually looking forward to it.
      Gotta go and kill some folks! Talk to you later.

Yes, it's Thursday

      I need another Wednesday. Not that it was so good, but because I spent the entire evening working on stuff for the local theater. I need another Wednesday night to get caught on what I need to get done. It's that needing more hours in the day thing again.
      Anyway, it's late here, and I don't have a lot to say. Well, I might, but I'm exhausted so I'm going to get on out of here. Sorry for the brevity. I'll try to write more tomorrow.
      Pray for rain, by the way. We need lots where I live. Lots and lots and lots. Night!

Tuesday is the hardest day

      Yes, the scrollies changed a few days back. Frenzied Feline, sharp-eyed cat that she is, noticed today. She didn't mention two other changes that I made, but she may have noticed them. Did you?
      It was a busy day today. More theater group stuff. I'm slowly getting things done. I'll be glad when the patron drive is over. We've done okay. We've gained a lot of new patrons, but unfortunately lost some of last year's. But we won't be hurting for money as long as we're careful and watch our spending. I don't know of a non-profit group that doesn't have to do that.
      It was a hard day today. I was tired for most of it. Haven't been sleeping well. Wears me down. Doesn't leave me with a lot to deal with the myriad disappointments that the world seems intent on handing me. And sometimes I don't feel like pulling a victory out of defeat. Sometimes I just want to run away. Which is why I'm going to cut this short. No need to talk about it. Just the way things are on Tuesday the hardest day.
      So good night, y'all. See you tomorrow.
      Oh, and here's a bit for the Knaves.

From the History of the Dragons & Their Armoured Kin by Loremaster Edora Varlent

"When the Shadow Dragons appeared after the apparent death of Bahamut Cartocillian Sar, it was less a surprise than a confirmation of what many had suspected: Chiefly that for centuries, a unseen force had moved both for and against the Bone Throne. The Shadow Dragons' psionic powers and their ability to create and wield psionic enhancement items only added to their mystique.

It might seem odd that the Eberoni, as they call themselves, had remained undetected, but since their coloring closely resembles that of the ebony dragons, it is probable that they had been seen before but misidentified. Certainly the Eberoni took advantage of this.

What are their powers? The Eberoni have been careful to hide such knowledge, but apparently they hold the full range of psionic abilities thus noted in humanoids. There have been hints, however, that they possess ones undiscovered by even the vaulted mind witches of the Sarlissians. The most disturbing aspect of their shadowy powers is the possibility that they may have been using them to manipulate humanity for their own ends.

The discovery that Eberoni have human disciples can only be seen as alarming by the rulers of the Great Empire as well as any free-thinking humans ..."

Mikey goes to school

      Here's my boy with his school backpack. Isn't he a handsome lad? I pray daily that school and life are kind to his innocent heart. So far, he's enjoying kindergarten. He remains a great joy in my life even though I don't see him as much as I would like.
      Notice that the backpack is nearly as large he is! But my little Mikey is growing up. One part of me is glad. Another is sad. That's life. All our joys carry sadness with them. I guess to make us appreciate our blessings.
      Well, it's late, but I promised I'd be here today. And I'll be there tomorrow, God willing. Have a good night and great tomorrow. See you then. Night.

Catching up

      Howdy y'all! How are you doing? It's been busy here, so I've neglected you, but I was thinking of you. No, really. Trust me on this.
      Also, I hurt myself. Again. In my apparent on-going quest to injure every part of my body, I fell and twisted my ankle in a major way. It's been iced and elevated and it still hurts, but it's much better.
      So, yes, I'll be able to go work tomorrow. Whee.
      What else have I been doing? Mostly stuff for the local theater group. Working on the patron drive, selling and creating ads for our sponsor wall, helping print and cut the tickets, and creating and printing the poster for the current play. During that, I also worked on Knaves and Murder at the Witch's Cottage. I also read Robin Hobb's Shaman Crossing, a truly excellent fantasy book that starts a new trilogy. I'll be watching the next one.
      Oh, here's some Knaves material for the hapless participants:

      Magician's Silver
      "So will it work?" Panther asked.
      Bernard shrugged. "It should, but it's not like I've ever done this before. And the cannon wasn't created for this. It was meant to defend against Northstar. I've reduced the power, but as to whether it's safe, is anyone's guess."
      "Will she do it?"
      "I think so," Bernard said. "But the truth of the matter is she has no choice." He looked at Panther with eyes deader than the night. "No choice whatsoever."
      Hoverton
      "We have to hope he made it," Mantris said. "And if he did, then the Defenders will come --"
      "Be quiet!" Vanala hissed. "Do you want them to hear?"
      "They're not gods, Vanala," Zava said quietly. "They have power, but beneath that power, they are knaves plain and simple. They only understand one thing."
      "And what would that be?" a voice drawled from behind the threesome. "What is the one thing we understand?"
      The screaming went on for hours.
      Dragonholm
      "So it's settled," Dipak said.
      "It is decided, Honored One," Othar said. "That is the not the same as decided, but I think the Council will agree, barring unforeseen events."
      Dipak looked at him sharply. "See to it that such events do not happen."
      "The shadow dragons are powerful, Honored One," Othar said. "But we are not the only players in this war for the throne. And the truly wild card is your brother Cartocillian. What will he do?"
      "He will support us," Dipak said.
      "Such support would be welcome, and even more so if he held Nuri," Othar said. "Or does he, Honored One?"
      "He holds Quietus," Dipak said. "The War Sword is not to be a trifle."
      "That is truth, Honored One," Othar said. "But Boaz holds two of the Thirteen. Quietus was never one of the Thirteen, and it has brought disaster as often as victory."
      "It has never been wielded by one such as my brother, either," Dipak said sharply. "In his hands, the War Sword is as mighty as Nuri."
      "Let us hope that is so, Honored One," Othar said. "Otherwise, our lives may be shorter than we would wish and our deaths will certainly be more painful."
      A dark cavern in the Glorioles Mountains
      It burned for a taste of him again. It could still remember his blood burning through its body. It hungered for it as it had never hungered before. It had taken a score of lives since its release, but human blood no longer satisfied it. It wanted to feed upon the golden being again. It needed to.
      It shuddered as it recalled how close it had come to death. It would be wise to avoid the golden being, but it knew it could not. It had tasted power. It could not rest until it consumed him totally.
      Soon, it thought. Soon.

      And that's enough for tonight on Knaves. By the way, Knaves participants should comment. Otherwise, I might not be encouraged to post more of these.
      Otherwise, I haven't had much time to do anything else. What have you been doing? Many of us aren't blogging regularly. I'd complain, but it would be the pot calling the kettle black. Still we all need to do better. You first.
      I have a laser, not a robot monkey head. I wanted to clear that up. I like the robot monkey head, but it would just be another unused gadget in a house already filled with unused gadgets. I do have an exclusive, signed copy of Hal Spacejock, but you may already know that. It's joined my collection of signed copies. I have books signed by Holly Lisle, M.K. Preston, Lynn Viehl, Michael Garrett and Clay Reynolds as well as, of course, Simon Haynes. I also have some self-published books signed by their authors. It's a small, but growing group that I hope to add to. I particularly would like a signed book from Carolyn Hart, my favorite Oklahoma mystery writer.
      Well, I happen to know at least one Knaves participant is waiting for me to post this so I will now. Y'all have a good week. I'll see ya here tomorrow. Promise!

HS and my Thursday

      It's probably not good to keep bringing up my exclusive, signed copy of Hal Spacejock. I've been told that me having an exclusive, signed copy of Hal Spacejock is inducing fits of jealousy in other people not so fortunate. Well, we can't have that. So I will stop bringing up my exclusive, signed copy of Hal Spacejock. Someday soon...
      It was a busy day for me. I worked at my job in the morning and then spent the afternoon attempting to sell ads for the local theater group. I sold some, but mostly the people I needed to see weren't in or were busy. This is taking a lot more time that I expected, and it's time that I need to be spending on other projects.
      Oh, as soon as Hal Spacejock is available at Amazon.com, I'll post it here. I think it would make a great Christmas present for the SF reader in your family. Did I mention I have an exclusive, signed copy of Hal Spacejock?
      I enjoy being creative with the ads. I'm attempting to make each ad different from the others. Not easy with 30 ads and a limited range of sizes and colors. I also want the ads to look good and get attention. The ads hang on a wall at the theater. The wall is black so the ads need to be bright and stand out. I hoped to have all the ads sold by August 1, but it looks like I will be selling them clear into September. No matter how many are sold, I have to stop September 15. That's my deadline. I have other things to concentrate on then, and they can't wait.
      Soon the patron drive will be over. It's gone okay so far. I'd like more patrons, of course, but we're doing pretty well for a little town our size. I just wanted the last drive I did to be over the top. Still, I have something good for the next patron driver to build on. What more could I ask? Well, overwhelming success and fame, actually. That would be nice.
      I keep telling myself every day that I will be in bed by eleven that night. Doesn't seem to happen. It's nearly 11:30 now. Just not enough hours in the day. That's what I want. A bottle of extra hours. Sprinkle a few out when you need them. Wouldn't that be cool.
      Well, it's time for bed. I'll lock my exclusive, signed copy of Hal Spacejock into the laser protected, robot monkey guarded safe, and call it a night now. Pleasant dreams and have a great tomorrow.
      Night!

Review: Hal Spacejock

      I finished Hal Spacejock, a comic science fiction novel by Simon Haynes. It's good! Buy it! Or try to. It's not easy to find. I'm hoping that Amazon.com will start carrying the series soon. Yes, it's a series. And if we're lucky, there will be many more adventures of Hal Spacejock and his robot Clunk.
      Hal is a bit of lout and incompetent to the point of being a fire hazard, but he shows some heart, and it's fun to watch him overcome his misfortunes, many of them self-inflicted. Clunk, however, steals the book with his deadpan humor. I wouldn't want to travel with Hal -- it would be too dangerous -- but Clunk would be a great companion.
      The book actually made me laugh out loud several times. It helps that I read a lot of science fiction so I caught many (but I'm sure, not all) of the inside jokes, but the plot moves fast enough and the quips are clever enough that it's readily accessible even to someone who doesn't read SF.
      One reviewer on another site compared it to Discworld, and I have to say that it's not as good as Discworld ... yet, but it shows much potential. (Discworld, after all, has been around a while and has grown and matured over the years.) More characterization and less plot twists would be good, and the other characters weren't even half as interesting as Hal and Clunk. The story only moved when we were looking over the duo's shoulders.
      Bottom line: It's an entertaining, fast, funny read, and I intend to read the second book in the series ... as soon as I can figure out how to order it from Australia.
      Learn more about Hal Spacejock here where you'll find sample chapters and more.

Secrets

      Did you go and look at Frenzied Feline's prom photo yet? Go now. I'll wait. Well, she sure cleaned up nice, didn't she? You just never know about people. For instance, tonight she confessed that she has a secret crush on Donny Osmond. Yeah, I know, Donny Osmond! Don't let her know that I told you about her secret crush on Donny Osmond. Because, see, it's a secret. Shhhh.
       Speaking of secrets, for all you Knaves out there, here's one: Sater Snow knows the truth about Tamek, but she learned it from a Defender. Guess which one? I love cryptic things, don't ya know.
      Did you see that I got 30 comments on the last post? Admittedly, FF and I made most of them, but that's a nice number. 30. Thirty. I once dated a girl who was 30. Of course, I was 23 at the time.
      Where is Crystal? She's not been around here the past couple of days. She probably has secrets. I wonder if she too longs for "A Little Bit Rock'n'roll" as does FF. Maybe they have their own club. And some spades and hearts, too. And they say diamonds are a girl's best friend. Which may be true, but can a diamond change a flat for you?
      Well, it's late here and I need to get some sleep so that I can properly concentrate on building my robot monkey army. It's delicate work building a robot monkey army. Just ask anyone who's done it, and they'll tell you that it's hard work. Hard.
      Now don't forget. It's a secret that Frenzied Feline has a crush on Donny Osmond. Don't tell anyone. Night!

Can't say no

      Are you asking, where has Tech been the past two days? No, you're not. No one is asking. (Edited to add: EXCEPT FOR FRENZIED FELINE WHO IS GUARANTEED TO GET TO RULE A GOOD COUNTRY WHEN I CONQUER THE EARTH.) But the rest of you are are out there having your own lives. Frankly that chaps my hide. You're supposed to wait here until I return. You need to arrange your life around me. We'll all be a lot happier. Well, I will be, and I think we're agreed that's the most important thing ...
      As to what I've been doing, I've been working frantically on projects for the theater group. Oh, I have news: They elected me vice-president. Yes, I accepted. Yes, I'm not very bright. Let's all sing that song from the great musical Oklahoma: "He's Just A Boy Who Can't Say No." Are you singing? Really? Hmm, I didn't think you would. What else would you do if I suggested it? I must think on that as I work on my robot monkey army.
      By the way, for those who know about it and are participating, Knaves is nearly here. Are you ready? I'm not, but I will be soon. I think.
      You know, I get asked every now and then why I choose to make robot monkeys instead of human robots. When that question arises, I look the questioner in the eyes and then shoot him with my laser gun. Some people you just can't reason with, and that includes people who would ask such a question.
      Yes, I've lost it. Although there's a good chance that I never had it to begin with. Consider that.
      My back is better. I'm still walking with my cane, but it's much better. My back is better, I mean. My cane is always fine. Except when it has a headache or when it slept badly the night before because it had that dream again where it was a toothpick in the mouth of life.
      Ahem. No, I didn't forget to take my meds. Why do you ask?
      Today, I received a package from Australia! No, I'm not kidding. I won a book in a contest a month or so back, and it came today. The book is Hal Spacejock by Simon Haynes. It's comic science fiction. I've read two chapters, and so far, it's very funny. A longer review will follow when I finish. I just wanted to mention that it's really grand of Simon Haynes to mail a book all the way to America. Awesome.
      I'm going to bed now. My robot monkey army will just have to wait until tomorrow to rise up and conquer the world. Night!

Swimming Saturday

      Yes, I went swimming again today. I have fallen in love with my friend's pool and hot tub. I should mention that the hot tub just has its jets going and not the heater. The tub is connected to the pool, but raised up so that the water flows over its side to fall into the pool. It's lovely and calming. I floated on my back watching the clouds float by. I'd love to have a pool of my own, but that may be a dream for another life.
      Today I basically babied my back. I did a few household chores, but mostly just napped, watched a little TV, read, played on my computer and ignored my list. It was like a mini-vacation. I think I'm becoming slothful.
      Have I mentioned lately that I love my new computer? It's fast and efficient. It's given me very little trouble. It's almost like I'm not running Windows ...
      One of my hobbies is making mazes. Don't know why I enjoy creating them, but I have a small notebook with a couple hundred of them. I've always wanted to have a backyard large enough to grow a hedge maze, but I've read that they're more trouble than they look. Apparently the bushes don't like growing in that fashion, and there's always gaps. Some gardeners fill the gaps with statues or short sections of a fence. I think hedge mazes would be creepy at night, though. Remember that scene in The Shining where Jack Nicholson chases a little boy through the maze? Nearly gave me heart attack.
      I've been trying to drink some unsweetened carrot juice. I've been putting it in my sugar-free punch to try to hide the taste, but the carrot flavor still comes through. I wonder if carrot cake would be as healthy. Probably not, but I wouldn't gag as much. Why can't food that's good for you taste as good as raspberry cheesecake?
      It's time for bed now. Night! Pleasant dreams.

A good evening

      I went to a friend's house and sat in his hot tub for about two hours this evening. Heaven. It helped my back immensely, and I was pain free almost the whole time I was in the tub. I'm pleasantly fatigued now, and my back is feels better. It was a very good evening and a nice end to the working week.
      I hope your evening was as pleasant. Have a good night.

Very bad back

      Ouch. And truly there's not much else to say about it. Back injuries are a lot like broken hearts in that it just takes time for them to get better. I'm using pain pills, back exercises, heating pad and deep heating rub. Do you have a back remedy that works for you? Share!
      And the odds are good that you've experienced back problems before. According to the Agency for Health Care Policy and Research in their pamphlet "Clinical Practice Guideline, Acute Low Back Problems in Adults": "Eight out of ten adults will have a "low back problem at some time in their life. And most will have more than one episode of acute low back problems."
      Let's see what else the pamphlet has to say: "The human spine (or backbone) is made up of small bones called vertebrae. The vertebrae are stacked on top of each other to form a column. Between each vertebra is a cushion known as a disc. The vertebrae are held together by ligaments, and muscles are attached to the vertebrae by bands of tissue called tendons.
Openings in each vertebra line up to form a long hollow canal. The spinal cord runs through this canal from the base of the brain. Nerves from the spinal cord branch out and leave the spine through the spaces between the vertebrae.
      "The lower part of the back holds most of the body's weight. Even a minor problem with the bones, muscles, ligaments, or tendons in this area can cause pain when a person stand, bends, or moves around. Less often, a problem with a disc can pinch or irritate a nerve from the spinal cord, causing pain that runs down the leg, below the knee called sciatica.
      "Even with today's technology, the exact reason or cause of low back problems can be found in very few people. Most times, the symptoms are blamed on poor muscle tone in the back, muscle tension or spasm, back sprains, ligament or muscle tears, joint problems. Sometimes nerves from the spinal cord can be irritated by 'slipped' discs causing buttock or leg pain. This may also cause numbness, tingling, or weakness in the legs.
      "People who are in poor physical condition or do work that includes heavy labor or long periods of sitting or standing are at greater risk for low back problems. These people also get better more slowly. Emotional stress or long periods of inactivity may make back symptoms seem worse.
      "Low back problems are often painful. But the good news is that very few people turn out to have a major problem with the bones or joints or the back or a dangerous medical conditions."
      The pamphlet goes on to recommend rest, light activity, heat packs, OTC meds and time. Not much different than what I'm already doing.
      Anyway, I go back to work this morning so I've got to start getting ready to go. I dread the paperwork waiting for me, but hey, it beats digging a ditch. I think.

Bad back bad

      I intended to go swimming again today, but instead I spent most of the day on a heating pad. My back has been bothering me since the trip to Tulsa, and today it decided to really hurt me. I handled the pain with deep heating rub, the aforementioned heating pad and Advil. It seems better now. I'll just need to be careful tonight when I sleep and pile pillows up to keep me from sleeping on my back. Tomorrow is the last day of my vacation, and I'd like to spent it doing fun things as opposed to creaking around my house.
      Tomorrow will mark eight days that I've been away from my office. I did go back in the evening on Saturday, and I did about thirty minutes of paperwork, but otherwise I've stayed away. It's the most I've been away for at least the past five years and maybe longer. I kinda dread the work that's piled up waiting for me, but I should be able to catch up in a couple of days, depending on the number of customers and how much work there is to do.
      Tomorrow I intend to go swimming again and do a little shopping. I got a couple of cash cards for my birthday, and I want to buy a couple of shirts with them. I also want to do some more filing and writing.
      Over the next couple of weeks, I hope to finally get the plot of Murder at the Witch's Cottage clear. Right now the play wanders all over the place and leaves a couple of important questions unanswered. I want to pin the plot down and then do another rewrite of the play so that it follows a clear, intelligent plot. Then I'll go back and increase the humor and suspense. At least, that's the plan. The most important purpose of any play is that people enjoy it. Yes, I know that's not earthshaking or educational, but while I want the play to have a point, I don't want people to feel like they've been in class.
      I finally installed Scrabble on my computer again and have been playing at least one game a day. The computer is very tough opponent. I've been trying to find an online Scrabble game that's free and doesn't fill my computer with spyware, but so far, no luck. I barely have time for a quick game anyway.
      "I Believe I can Fly" shouldn't start automatically now when you visit Harbor Street. That got annoying, I thought. So you can start it on that post should you want to listen to it. After having used youtube.com, I've been expecting the bloggers in my blogging circle to start adding videos to their blogs. ER is threatening -- uh, promising to put up a video of his cat. Technology can be cruel sometimes.
      Speaking of cruelty, I've also been doing exercises to help my back. My roomie works as a physical therapist at a local hospital, and he's been most helpful in torturing me. Well, he says it's exercises, but it's no wonder patients attempt to run when they see him coming. Of course, if they could actually run, they probably wouldn't need a physical therapist. He'd told me about how elderly patients will attempt to bite him or hit him with their canes sometimes. I finally understand.
      I just heard on the news that there's a push to get rid of the penny because it costs more to make the penny than a penny is worth. I think we should keep the penny. I like them and have a huge jar filled with them. I'd hate to see them go.
      At least we don't have the British coinage, which frankly no one understands, not even the British. People are expecting that situation to get better since the euro has arrived, but so far, the British are proving resistant in giving up their pounds, pence, half-penny, penny, farthing, shilling, crown, half-crown, sovereign. Well, actually, several of those aren't used anymore having been withdrawn from circulation, but I think they're none the richer for it. We need our quirks and our pennies to stay interesting.
      Well, I think that's all I have to say tonight. Hope your day went well. Good night and pleasant dreams.

A good day

      A good day today. Not that I was that productive. I basically worked on filing and paying bills, doing some laundry and went swimming two times at a friend's pool. That friend also took me out to eat for a late birthday celebration. It was pretty cool.
      I had lots of things to do, but I just didn't do them. Watched an old movie on TCM, too. Lounged around in old sweats most of the day.
      I realize this isn't normal for a busy man like me, but it was nice just to do nothing for a while, to drift aimlessly and think about nothing. I couldn't do it all the time. I think it would get boring quick, but it was good for a day.
      I'm pleased with youtube.com. It allowed me to place video on the site easily. Check it out. Anyone can do it. It even generates the code for you. Uploading takes a bit of time, but not too bad.
      And of course, the music is fun. I happen to really like that song ("I Believe I Can Fly") despite all of R. Kelly's legal troubles. It's uplifting in a time when most songs aren't.
      Anyway, all that swimming has wore me out. My get-up-and-go has got up and went. So I'm going to call it a night. You have a good one, you hear? Night!

"I believe I can fly"

I Believe I Can Fly
By R. Kelly
BestAudioCodes.com

      Today this sums up how I feel. Yeah, it's probably a cliche and lame, but it's how I feel today.

Have some cake

      
And finally to end our party, here's my cake. Have a huge piece! Thanks for spending my birthday with me. Cheers to all my blogging buddies. And now, I'm going to call it a night. Drive carefully, and see you tomorrow.

Party tux

      Here is the picture of me in a tux. I'm disappointed. I thought I had a larger one so you could really appreciate the glorious awfulness of the blue tux that I wore to my Senior banquet. Just trust me when I say that it was stylin' at the time. And look at all that hair and those sideburns. Wow. I was hot ... or not.

Party Posting 3

      Here's a video of an octopus at the Oklahoma Aquarium. Very cool.

Party Posting 2

      Here is a video of a coral reef exhibit at the Oklahoma Aquarium. Since this is my first video posting on you.tube.com, I hope it works.

Party

      Today's my birthday, and since I've had most of my birthday with my family and friends already, I thought I'd spend it with my blogging buddies. So I'm going to be posting a lot today with photos, a movie and yes, a picture of me in tux. So grab your party hat and horn and join in!
      Let's start with some photos. Saturday I was in Jenks, Oklahoma, to visit the Oklahoma Aquarium. Here are a few photos of the many exhibits.


A coral reef and a bright yellow fish.


Golden starfish.


A turtle pool.


A blue fish.


A catfish. I think.


A tidal pool.


A shark.

      The movie is coming later as are more trip details and some other things I enjoyed this weekend. Stick around!

Thursday night at my computer

      Sorry I missed posting yesterday. I've been working on getting the ads sold for the lobby of the local theater group. I've got a lot done, but there's still more to do. I'm trying to have it all finished by the end of next week so that it's not hanging over my head any more. And of course, I'm still involved in the patron drive -- going very well so far -- so I'm ready for August to be over and all this is done. After that, I only have the two plays to direct, one in October and the other in April. It will be nice to have my life back. I won't do this again. No, Crystal, I won't.
      Otherwise no news here other than it's been hot. I'm two days away from my birthday and have been too busy to be depressed about it. A bit of trivia: I was born on a Sunday, and this year my birthday is on a Sunday, too. Don't know why that caught my interest, but it did.
      Speaking of Crystal, she has left California, visited Vegas but didn't win a fortune, and is now back in Oklahoma for a while. I'm hoping I get a chance to see her and her son before they head off for other adventures.
      I'm planning to visit the huge aquarium in Jenks this weekend. I'm taking my camera so I hope to have some pics to share. Everyone that's been there has told me that it's really cool. I'm looking forward to seeing it.
      Murder at the Witch's Cottage is in trouble. I've realized that I have four storylines trying to be told at the same time. I've got to trim it back and focus on what's important. I've only got 90 minutes of stage time to tell the story. It's got to be clear and tight. Maybe someday I'll get to write a mini-series, and then I can tell a lot of stories.
      And that's all I've got to say this Thursday night at my computer. How are things for you? Staying cool? What's going on your world? Share!
      Anyway, good night and pleasant dreams.

Happy birthday to Frenzied Feline!!!

Happy Birthday to Frenzied Feline!!!

Happy Birthday to you,

Happy Birthday to you,

Happy Birthday dear Frenzied,

Happy Birthday to you!

Go by Frenzied's blog (Life Happens) and wish her a happy birthday!!!

Thankful

      Where does the time go? I just looked up and discovered it was time for bed and I hadn't posted yet. So a quick post and then off to the land of dreams. Or snores. One of the two.
      I'm very tired so I won't ramble on, but I did want to mention something. My sister and my brother-in-law were involved in a bad car accident Sunday afternoon. An elderly man rear-ended them. He was going very fast. It broke his neck, but he's still alive in the hospital. My brother-in-law got a couple of bruises. My poor sister got banged up good and several cuts, but nothing broken and she's going to be okay. I want to say how profoundly grateful I am that she's okay.
      Rain does a cool thing on her blog -- which more of you should visit -- and that's to give thanks for the good things in her life. I hope it lifts her up to write it as much as it does for me to read it.
      This idea of being grateful is a good thing, sadly underused in this day and age. We don't recognize the many precious gifts we are given. Somehow we have come to believe that we are entitled when really the only things we can be sure of is that we will live and we will die and go into the beyond. To cherish and be thankful for our joys is how we grow to be better people.
      Good night.

My birthday suit is a tux

      Crystal and FF, it (posting) was/is on my list of things to do. I just didn't get to it until now. For those of you who are curious, I got 33 of the items on my list done. Yes, that sure leaves a lot. We'll see how many I get done this week.
      Work again tomorrow. I wish I could approach it with more ... well, joy might be asking for too much, but at least not as much dread. Lately I feel such reluctance to show up. Sigh. I must be having my mid-life crisis. Or something like that. Maybe it's the whole birthday thing.
      A friend (?) suggested that for my birthday, I post a picture of me in my birthday suit. She meant, she says, a picture of me when I was a baby, but there are no naked pictures of me as a baby. Sorry. And there aren't any of me as an adult ... as far as I know.
      Which reminds of one of my favorite stories. A friend of mine, the son of a minister, went to Jamaica when he was in his twenties. (Let's call him John.) He was traveling for his job. He was far from home and knew no one. Near his hotel was a clothing optional beach. After the third day, he decided to wander down there. Not to take off his clothes, of course, but just to look.
      Well, John walked down to the beach, found a place for his towel and sat down to watch. He was surprised about how natural everyone seemed to take their nudity. Finally he gathered up his courage and took off his clothes. He felt quite proud of himself. And after all, it wasn't like anyone would ever know.
      A road with a sidewalk ran alongside this beach. He had left his clothes near the steps that led down to the beach. After a while, he decided to return to the hotel. He walked up to his clothes when suddenly he heard someone ask, "John, is that you?"
      Unknown to him until that moment, his father's church had sent a mission trip down to Jamaica. Around twenty or so people who knew him quite well were walking from the local mission back to their hotel.
      He looked up to see all their shocked and staring faces. He stood there for just a moment. He turned and ran down the beach into the ocean. He says he seriously considered just letting the surf take him.
      But a while later, he returned to his hotel. By the time he got there, his father and mother had already left several messages. As he tells it, he could hear his father without the phone. His father was that loud.
      But not just young men can make questionable decisions regarding nudity.
      About ten years ago, the daughter of a man I know went down to Florida for Spring Break. Having too many beers and being pressured by friends, she stood on in the back of a truck and lifted her t-shirt to men they passed. However, CNN was down there recording the excesses of the college students. The camera focused on her a good thirty seconds. CNN broadcast the video clip the next day, blurring the naughty bits, but leaving her face crisp and clear. She would have liked it if they had blurred her face because her parents were watching CNN that night. Her father flew down immediately to get her, and she never got to go to Spring Break again while she was in college. Now the family just laughs about it, except for her mom and dad who are still pretty upset about it.
      And on that note I'm going to call it a night. Have a good night. Pleasant dreams.

Ridiculously long lists

      I just noticed that I haven't updated the meters for my various projects recently. I'll have to do that. Let me add it to my ridiculously long list of things to do. It is a long, long, long list as I discovered yesterday as I was updating my to-dos. 104 items for the rest of this week and the weekend.
      Don't panic, I tell myself. Most of the items aren't hard. They just need to be done. Naturally I won't get them all done this week. But I'm aiming for a third of them. The others will have to wait. Only so many hours in a day, only so many days in week, only so many weeks in a year, only so many years in a life.
      Time. Anniversaries. Holidays. Birthdays. When I was a kid, it was an eternity between birthdays. Now it feels like I had one just yesterday.
      A friend of mine asked what I wanted for my birthday. I told him that a good meal is fine. But what I really want is to be out of debt. I will pay off a credit card in September or October. Wish I could pay it off this month. After that, it will be eight or nine months before I can pay off another one. Then I start on the large card, the monster debt that I paid off all those cards to focus on. I won't tell you how much it is, but it will take four years from today to pay off ... unless a windfall happens or I inherit money or the government decides to give me a lot of money just because I'm me. And they really should.
      The thing is, I wish I was out of debt now. I'd like to be free of the worry now. Of course, I know that my world doesn't work like that. I don't have anything that I didn't work for. I don't think I'd have it any other way ... I don't think I would, but let's see what happens if I ever get an offer.
      If you read much 17th and 18th century literature, you'll find that in the old days, the Devil went around making deals all the time with humans. Their souls for fame and fortune or whatever. It's worth noting that rarely did those stories have a happy ending, at least not for the humans. One assumes the Devil had a good time for the most part, but that was a long time ago before he joined the Republican party and became rather dour. Not that he doesn't have his agents among the Democrats, of course. Edward Kennedy has broken at least seven of the Commandants that we know of. I'm sure he's working on the other three; he's always been an overachiever.
      Still, I see the Devil as a Republican now, if only because I suspect he makes sure he's in the ruling party. He's that sort of guy ... or being ... or whatever. As I imagine it, he has a huge to-do list, too. Besides the major items like disease, war, starvation, etc., he also keeps track of smaller annoyances that help keep life frustrating. Such as:
      1. Credit card companies. The Devil is very proud of them as well as the whole idea of outrageous interest rates. After all, paying for sins after you die has to be the ultimate installment plan.
      2. Styrofoam cups. Why this one? Well, who else would create a piece of litter that won't degrade naturally and thus will be around for centuries?
      3. Air conditioning repairmen who don't repair anything. Yes, that's right. My house still has no air conditioning. Sigh. The fan and maybe something else needs replacing. They have to come back again but probably not tomorrow, which means I will be holed up in bedroom most of the weekend, only venturing out in the early morning before the blazing sun climbs into the sky and attempts to grill us.
      4. Blogger. Which hasn't been letting me blog. Or comment.
      5. Gas prices. I'm thinking horses are going to be real popular soon. And not just for meals, either.
      6. Weathermen who keep smiling and talking about how the skies are clear and "We'll have a bright, sunny day tomorrow" when the tires on our parked cars are melting. Of course, they probably have air conditioning that works. Vermin.
      7. Roaches and other pests like Congressmen and telemarketers and those cute Girl Scouts who push those cookies even though lemon creme cookies are as addictive as crack.
      8. I was going to write more, but it's FIVE THOUSAND DEGREES IN MY HOUSE! ARRRRGGGHHHHH!!!! My keyboard is melting! I'm melting! What a world! I'm retreating to my bedroom. Have a good ... COOL ... night.

Cool

      Now I have an eighty dollar air conditioner from Wal-Mart in my bedroom window now. Ahhhh ... And a repairman is coming Thursday to look at the house's unit to see what it needs. I'm afraid it's shot, but I'm hoping it just needs some small part. I should be so lucky.
      My roomie is going to tough it out until Thursday and see what the repairman says. If the repair is beyond the budget right now, he's going to get a small unit for his bedroom, and we just may make do for a while.
      Anyway, I'm very tired. I haven't slept well the past few days in the heat so I'm going to go to bed now in my cool bedroom. Y'all take care and stay cool. Night!

Heat

      My job is driving me crazy. It's grinding me down. Every day I wonder how much longer I can do it. But then I remember my bills. And yeah, I can keep on doing it. And will. Because I pay my bills.
      I sent my first payment in on the new computer today. I didn't have enough saved to pay it off, but I made a large dent in the bill. If I keep working at it, I think I can have it paid off by October or November. That would be cool.
      And I should have another credit card paid off by November. So I'm making progress. Slow but steady. Just call me Mr. Tortoise.
      It's hot here. Temp hovered at 104 degrees today. I couldn't get any air conditioner repairman to come out so my house is quite hot. I'm hoping to get in touch with one tomorrow. I called and left messages with several companies, but no one returned my calls. They're swamped with business and repair calls.
      Tomorrow I intend to go to Wal-Mart and buy a window unit for my bedroom. It's been hard to sleep at night due to the heat. Some people associate heat and sweat with sensuality. I don't think I can agree with that.
      Prevention Magazine is reporting that cherries are a fantastic cancer fighter. They say that cherries are loaded with perillyl alcohol and quercetin, both of which are apparently potent anti-cancer agents. Cherries taste good, too.
      By the way, I did NOT do anything for the local theater group tonight. I should have written story for the local paper about the patron drive and the upcoming season, but I didn't. I gave myself the night off. I'll write the story tomorrow night.
      And now it's time for bed!

Roundup of a weekend

      Friday, I worked all day. That night I watched Stargate: SG1 and Stargate: Atlantis. That was the notable things.
      Saturday, I worked on finishing the patron drive. I also went to Wal-Mart and did laundry and other housework, but mostly I worked on preparing over 600 mailings for the patron drive. It basically took all day, but I got almost all of it done. In bad news, apparently the house central air unit has broken. My house got hot.
      Sunday, I woke up with lower back pain and a stuffy head. I watched my church service on TV. I finished the patron drive and drove to the post office and mailed the patron invitations. Then I came home and basically vegged. House is still hot. I hope I can get a repairman out to work on it this week.
      Now you're caught up. Not all interesting, eh? Well, what else can I tell you about?
      Saluton. Kiel vi nomigas? Mi nomigas Tech. Gis revido. Pacon.
      That is Esperanto. An invented language that the makers hoped would become an universal language. I ran across a mention of it in a book and thought I'd research it a bit. Look it up and see what you think of the idea.
      Esperanto seems to be a fairly difficult language to learn, however. I think I'd devote my time to Spanish if I were going to learn a new one. I have a feeling that knowledge of Spanish will become more and more important as our nation gains more Hispanics.
      In college I took both Spanish and French. Now I've lost almost everything I've learned. Just a handful of words remain.
      Tomorrow I will be dieting in a strict and terrible fashion. I have to get my weight under control. Period. I refuse to spend the rest of my life like this. See the Great Slim Down for more details of the weight war.
      I'm going to bed now. I have a fan blowing on the bed. I hope that helps. Last night wasn't very pleasant. Have a good night and a great tomorrow.

Post 2 of 2

      I haven't been talking about writing much lately. That doesn't mean I'm not writing. Darkness, Oklahoma continues to consume my writing time with Murder at the Witch's Cottage a close second. Both aren't really at a stage where I can talk much about them. I'm in a place where the characters really matter to me. They're mine in a way that's hard to explain. I don't want to lose that yet. Right now they belong to me, and I need to hold them close as we work out their story and how it ends and how it changes them and their world. Eventually I will be so sick to them that I will be forcing them on total strangers, but not yet. I'm not sure I ever really finish a book. I just sick of working on it, and so I end it and move on to the next obsession.
      Another reason to keep mum is that talking about the events in the book and in the play lessens my desire to write them. Part of the reason I write is to tell a story. Once I've told it to someone, then that impulse is somewhat satisfied. I've always wondered how many books have died in writing groups because the authors told their stories and those tellings defused their writing desire. Obviously some people flourish in a writing groups. I'm not one of them. Besides, when I share a piece of writing, I actually just want someone to praise it and tell me that I'm on the right track. I'm shallow. Happy, though.
      So, yes, I'm writing. I'm hoping to finish Darkness, Oklahoma before November. (National Novel Writing Month is in November, remember?) Murder at the Witch's Cottage has to be finished by the first of October when we go into rehearsal. Deadlines, gotta love them.
      But I will be posting excerpts later this month. I have a couple of scenes that are fairly contained and won't confuse a reader too much without having read the whole book. Just remember that I'm looking for praise, and we'll get along fine.
      There's a lot to be said for the shallow end.

Post 1 of 2

       Did you think I forgot? No, little campers, I didn't. I've just been busy working on the patron drive and the ad sales for the local theater group. Whee. I'll tell you right now that both have taken much more effort and time that I expected and planned for. Live and learn, I guess. Which doesn't make sense since I'm not sure dead people learn things. Well, I guess they might, but then what do they do with the knowledge? Not that I'm dissing dead people, mind you. I've seen too many episodes of Ghost Hunters to feel comfortable doing that. I guess you can tell what mood this afternoon has put me in. I'm discussing dead people. "I discuss dead people."
      Anyway, how was your day? Anything exciting going on? Share! We don't have enough to talk about. Do your part. Give us a topic. Preferably something personal that you don't want the world to know, but we won't tell. Only the people who have the good taste to read this blog will know, and they don't repeat gossip ... so you better listen close the first time. (Redneck points if you know what TV show that came from.)
      Have I mentioned my birthday is at the end of this month? Yes, I get a year older. I don't feel older. Except, of course, in my knees. And my back. And my memory's shot. And my eyesight is going bad. But other than that and many pounds, I'm the same guy that graduated high school all those years ago but with less hair. I wonder if that guy back then would recognize me now. Would he be pleased at how I'm turning out? Would he be appalled? Would he laugh? Would he understand?
      Why I should I care? He didn't know anything back then, the little snot. I have all these years behind me to take me toward the years to come. That's a gift that we all have to give ourselves: a past that lets us believe in a future. So yeah, I get a year older, thank God.
      Michelle said in a comment on the previous post that it may be getting too late for two posts. It's never too late. Even after the fabulous lady sings, there's still time for one more moment.
      Be back in a bit. You're on the edge of your seats, aren't you? Yes, you are.

Bedtime

      What? You were expecting a post? Well, there's nothing here. Just move along.
      Go ahead. I'm not going to be posting tonight. I'm tired. Nothing happened in my day at work other than the usual soul-destroying incidents. I didn't do anything this evening except work on the patron drive for the theater group. So nothing to say.
      You're still here.
      Yes, you are. I can see you.
      You're reading this right now, aren't you? You are, too. Don't you lie to me or you're going to bed without dinner!
      Well, be that way. You can just sit here and read this, but it's not going to be a post. I'm not posting tonight.
      Don't look at me with those sad eyes. I'm not moved.
      You do look pitiful, though ...
      But no, I'm not going to give in. No post tonight.
      Seriously.
      Don't whine. It's very annoying.
      Don't cry either. You're a big blog reader now.
      Look, tell you what. I'll post twice tomorrow. How's that? Two post tomorrow, but you have to go to bed now and sleep so that tomorrow will come faster.
      I promise. Now let's all go to bed and have a great night and a wonderful night.
      Good night.
      Sweet dreams.

Song 51313

And sometimes you have to know
the world don't love you today
but you don't love it right now
so that's okay

And sometimes you're on top
spinning like the wild wind
but today you're know you're not
and so you bend

Bend like the willows
on the river to the bay
waves sparkle in the sun
and so you know you're okay

Even though you're over your neck
hoping that boat will come by
treading water like crazy
you'd like to fly

Fly away from this place
that holds you down
into the endless sky never
looking back at this dirty town

So bend like the willows
on the river to the bay
Baby, it happens to all of us
It's okay to have a bad day

Settle back in my loving arms
as we watch the sun fall down
Baby, it happens to all of us
Let me make you a better day.

Copyright 2006. All rights reserved.

Hit and miss

      I know the entries here have been hit and miss over the past couple of weeks. I've been wrapped up in catching up on my various projects. I'm still not caught up from the time I lost when I was ill, but I'm getting closer. Of course, I realize that I'm setting the schedule and I could adjust to accommodate the disruptions. But the pressure keeps my juices flowing. Or something like that.
      I've been asked why I fill my days with so much activity. My brother has said that we are a "compulsively busy family." I guess that's true. My siblings and I always have three or four things going on at the same time. We are not leisure people. Even our downtime is filled with activity. But for the most part, we're not harried. It's our pace. It's how we live. We're not happy unless we're concentrating on something.
      Every now and then, I'll sit down in the back yard and watch the clouds. That seems to be enough to keep my battery charged most times. Perhaps that will change as the years roll along, but I know many people who are active in their 80s and 90s. I can see myself being one of those if I'm lucky and my health holds.
      A lot of people who blog seem to be active people. Maybe it's an indicator of bloggers. A way to tell them apart from the regular population. Or maybe it's just that we're all a little crazy. Could be.
      I'm going to call it a night now. Y'all have a great night and wonderful tomorrow.

A few thoughts on the fine art of sighing

      My old computer died. You would have thought I lost a beloved friend by the way I moped around my house for a couple of weeks. During that time period, my answer to any question was a sigh of despair with a hint of brave long-suffering and just a touch of woe-is-me. It was truly a masterpiece of sighing.
      Not that I'm the master of sighing. No, that title belongs to my brother. He is capable of sighs that are the verbal equivalent of the Mona Lisa.
      Unaccountably, I myself have been the cause of many of his sighs, and I can tell you that they are capable of making strong men weep or at least check to see if the tires on their cars are leaking. His sighs convey the overall theme of "my brother is crazy and why am I burdened with him" with layers of such emotions as "life is a mystery of sadness and joy" and "geese fly south in the winter as the year moves toward its end."
      He inherited his ability to sigh from my mother. She was an excellent sigher. In fact, she was capable of multiple skills, such as being both a sigher and a questioner, i.e. "Sigh. What has my son (meaning me) done now?" This was usually followed by a shouting and then I'd participate in the event by doing a fleeing. Occasionally it would be a fleeing for my life or a fleeing to another country, depending on what terrible crime I was wrongly accused of. So I never had time to learn the art of sighing as I was too busy gasping for breath or pleading for mercy. Good times.
      Anyway, perhaps you are thinking of taking up sighing. Here are a few helpful hints. First, develop full lung capacity. I suggest taking singing lessons. You need the volume of that large lady in the horned hat in German operas who always sounds like someone is torturing her in a rain barrel with a pointed stick. Once you have that, you will be able to move the necessary amount of air needed for successful sighing.
      Second, begin slowly. Start first with the gentle I'm-bearing-this-burden-only-because-I-love-you sigh. Just take in a deep breath, hold for a two-count, and then let it out slowly. It's important to do this within the hearing of the person who is triggering the sigh. Otherwise, it's wasted breath, and I would suggest just muttering banefully under your breath in that instance.
      Once you have mastered the first sigh, you can move up to the this-is-a-great-burden-but-I-will-make-the-sacrifice-for-you sigh and from there to the my-life-is-being-ruined-by-your-unreasonable-demands-but-I-will-bear-it-bravely-and-without-complaint-because-I-am-a-saint sigh.
      A few pointers to remember:
      1. Use good judgment. Having to take out the trash or mow the yard or listen your spouse do not qualify for any of the major sighs. Muttering will do.
      2. Do not overuse sighs. They lose their effect. It's better to use them sparingly. If people complain that you're sucking up all the air in the room or start fainting, you need to back off.
      3. Breath mint. Enough said.
      4. Animals and babies have no idea why you're sighing. You're just wasting your breath. Just thank the good Lord for them being in your life as you clean up their latest mess and move on.
      5. Don't be surprised if other people pick up on the sighs and start using them against you. With great sighing comes great responsibility. It's well known that Nixon used a variation of the suffering saint sigh to get the Chinese back to the treaty table. Use your ability wisely for the good of the world.
      I'm afraid I can't really take you any further along the path to sigh mastery. Although I dabble, I'm not really a practicer of this art. But I've been told that I’m a carrier. I wonder what they mean by that. Sigh.

Mad

      You're probably going to think this is another preachy post from Tech. You'd be right, but I'm going to talk about how to regain your fire, your zest for life. And one way is to get mad.
      That's right. Mad. Angry. Furious. We're not talking about tantrums or fits or heading for a high point with a rifle. We're talking about looking at the obstacles in front of you, rolling up your sleeves and steaming right forward, and God help anything in your way.
      What? This from the nice, pleasant Tech? Yeah, let me tell that anger has propelled me forward many times. When people say I can't, when they try to stop me, when they stamp on my dreams, I get angry. I get determined. I get serious. Anger can be a gift.
      We spent a lot of time in our society in saying that we shouldn't get angry. We're all supposed to be so quiet, so trusting, so naive, so accepting, so ... limp. That's wrong. Anger is fine as long as we channel it, as long as we use it to achieve our goals and dreams, as long as it gives us fire in our veins.
      Naturally anger can lead to dark places. That's the danger of any powerful emotion. But if you're sick of evil pretending to be virtue, if you're tired of people making a mess out of our natural world, if silence feels like it's choking your hopes, then that's the time to get angry.
      Maybe you need rediscover the power of anger. Maybe the world is busy ignoring you or saying your time has passed. Maybe you made some mistakes in the past and gave up some things that you should have been held on to. Or maybe things have been taken away that belonged to you. You need to put on your emotional armor, get up and fight back. Lower your head. Grit your teeth. Take a step. Cross the line in the sand. What are you waiting for? Someone to rescue you? It might not happen, and then where will you be?
      Get up. Get out. There is a world of possibility out there. You deserve it. Don't let yourself be a doormat. Don't let yourself be trampled on. Get up off the ground and get out there in the world.
      There are obstacles that need their shiny butts kicked. I think it's time we all got on with it.

Independence Day

      I met J. in college. He lived on the same dorm floor as I did, and we had a Tuesday morning astronomy class together. It was a casual acquaintance but friendly. He was nice, a bright smile and read science fiction books. He kept to himself, but he was carrying 18 hours of hard courses. He mostly studied all the time, but he was an okay guy.
      One day I opened the college newspaper to see a photo of him as a member of the college gay and lesbian rights organization. Shocked is not too strong a word for my reaction. I grew up in a small Oklahoma town, and we didn't have any open gays. For that matter, we didn't have any Jews, Hispanics, Muslims, Catholics, etc. Of course, I'm sure we had some, but they kept a very low profile. It wasn't a town or a school that was kind to people who were different, and I was different. I liked speech, drama, writing, science fiction and fantasy. Frankly I was lucky to get out of high school alive. I was bullied and called names almost daily. I was called "faggot" a lot. Since I knew I wasn't one, I made up my mind that probably the other guys who were called that weren't ones either. So when people would tell me that someone was gay, I just assumed they were wrong.
      This wasn't exactly an enlightened attitude, but you'd be surprised to find how well it served me. Because I refused to make that judgment as well as others based on gossip, hearsay and rumors, I made a lot of friends. And I was aware that they thought I was "accepting" and "liberal" and "wise." I lapped up that praise, even though I knew I harbored prejudices as strong as other people's. I just buried mine behind a grin and a joke.
      J. made that impossible. I wanted to remain friendly to him, but the other guys on the floor made it obvious that anyone who was seen talking to him would be branded as a homosexual and I couldn't have that. So I carefully avoided him. Made sure that I was late to the astronomy class or early. If he wanted to study for a test, I had other plans. I was very smart, very sly.
      This story doesn't end well. Sometimes stories don't.
      J. didn't change his behavior at the dorm. He didn't try to recruit anyone. He didn't make passes at anyone. He was the same as he had been before, but we couldn't see that. We didn't want to see that. I didn't want to see.
      Some nice Baptists -- guys that were my friends and that I wanted to be my friends -- decided that maybe it would be better if J. moved out of the dorm. Or maybe they simply wanted to mistreat him and gave that reason later. They had all their Bible verses and all their disgust for his sexual preference. So one night while he was gone from his room, they went in it and urinated on his bed, tore up his papers and threw his clothes into the toilet. Then they waited for him to come back.
      My dorm mate and I knew what they were doing. We sat in our room and tried to study. My dormie told me that there was nothing we could do. "He brought it on himself," he said. I felt sick. I felt afraid. I felt ashamed. But this wasn't about me.
      Finally at one in the morning, I couldn't stand not knowing. I went down the hall. His room was open. The student assistant and a couple of guys I didn't know were in the room. They were helping J. clean the mess up. J. was crying as he stripped his bed.
      The S.A. asked me if I knew who did it.
      I told him that I didn't. The lie came out quick and fast and convincing.
      Except J. had stopped and was looking at me, and his tear-filled eyes met mine and he knew the truth. I could see that he did. I could see the pain in his eyes. I could see the betrayal.
      I turned and walked back to my room.
      This story doesn't end well.
      I told myself that I do something, that I'd help J. somehow. I made a lot of bold declarations to myself. Maybe I would have done them if I had got the chance.
      But J. parents drove up the next day. They moved him out.
      The Baptists were pleased. They joked about it. I sat there while they did it. I didn't say a word.
      A year later, when they turned on me for being a different faith, I wasn't surprised. I deserved it. Silence carries its own justice.
      J. didn't return to class. The student assistant told me that he had received a hardship withdrawal. The student assistant, who had been friendly to me before, could barely bear to talk to me.
      I confronted the S.A. He was still friendly to everyone else on the floor. And he had to know some of them participated in this. Why was he still friendly to them?
      "Because I expected better of you," the S.A. told me.
      I didn't have an answer.
      I don't know what happened to J. I tried to find out a few years ago, but I had no results. But the event changed me. Made me ashamed. Made me finally start standing up what I said I believed in.
      And I guess I became a friend to gays and other outcasts. I have people who make judgments about my life because of the people I'm friendly with. I've taken hassle for being friends to gays, Mormons, New Agers, and yes, Baptists. When I think that I should keep my mouth shut, when I think that maybe it's not my fight for the freedom to be, I remember that dorm room twenty years ago. I remember J.'s eyes as I lied.
      Twenty years ago I had justifications. Twenty years ago I was just a kid. Twenty years ago I didn't know anything about life. I didn't trust God. I didn't have faith. I was very young twenty years ago.
      I hope J. has a good life now. I hope he has found friends who are brave and trustworthy and good. I hope he was able to move beyond what happened. Maybe someday he will read this. If he does, I want him to know that I'm sorry. I want him to know that I'm fighting the good fight and I won't stop, won't be silent, won't shut up, won't give up as long as I'm alive, that freedom has to belong to everyone, even those we would cast out because they're different, that Independence Day applies to everyone and we can't exclude anyone. It's only freedom if everyone shares in it.
      I hope somehow he knows that.
      I hope he can forgive me.

Ramble

      Didn't mean to be away for so many days. I had some personal setbacks and am still fighting that cold. I simply didn't get around to it and didn't have much to write, other than a few whines. However, this place has been comment empty while I've been gone so I don't think you've missed me too much ... unless you've pined away and that's why I haven't heard from you. It's possible, I guess, but unlikely.
      As for the setbacks, I always try to learn from them. Sometimes there's a lesson to be learned if I can just see past the trappings of the problem to the heart of the matter. In this case, however, it looks like there aren't any truths that I can dig out. Sometimes setbacks are simply setbacks. Or maybe their lessons will become clear in the future.
      You have to careful in looking for lessons. It's easy for them to become negative, such as: "Never trust anyone" and "Love is a lie" and "People are weasels." Those are false lessons. They cloak the truth. It's also easy for them to become a way to beat up on yourself. You blame yourself for trusting other people and for loving them. I do that sometimes. It's really neat. You get to beat up on yourself and all the other people in the world. What an opportunity.
      No, the real lessons are somewhere deeper. For the most part, they end up in somewhere in this: "Everything valuable carries with it an element of risk. Love is valuable, hence risk. If you love, you can assume risk. Sometimes love will pay off. Sometimes it won't. That's simply the cost of loving. If you're not willing to pay it and continue to pay it, then you won't have love in your life. If you love and other people disappoint you, the failure is in them, not you. Just because they don't love you, doesn't mean you're unlovable." And so on and so on. Good advice. Hard to believe at times.
      I ate half of a four-meat pizza last night. That might seem an abrupt subject change, but it was another reminder how much my emotions influence my appetite. I get depressed and I reach for the food. It may be more socially acceptable than being an alcoholic, but it's the same impulse. My family has always bought into the idea of comfort food.
      I realize I'm rambling here. You're welcome to wander off or stick around as we trip down along my thoughts. It's a rambling morning. I'm going to have to get ready for work here in a few minutes, and I really don't want to go. I was hoping my company would take today off since we'll be off tomorrow for the Fourth, but we didn't. Makes sense from their viewpoint. We can't sell or service our customers if we're not here. Of course, I'd lay odds that the VPs and directors who decided the company would be open today won't be at work today. Strange how that works out for them.
      Lots of clouds in the morning sky. I'm hoping that means we get rain later. It was cloudy yesterday all day, but no moisture fell. What a bummer. I have a fountain and a birdbath set up in my backyard. The birds just flock in. I think the sound of the water attracts them. It's amazing how dirty they get the water as they bathe and drink. I've been having to empty and clean the birdbath daily. I've been running several gallons of water through the fountain daily and that seems to be keeping it clean. Or cleaner, anyway.
      Not much else to report in my world. Did I mention I twisted my knee a few days back? It still hurts, but it's better. And my back is sore. And my IBD is flaring occasionally. With the addition of my cold, it's plain to see that the warranty on my body has expired. I wonder if I can trade it in on new model.
      I did watch several movies over the weekend. Ultra Violet, Mr. and Mrs. Smith and Underworld: Evolution. I can't say any of them had a great story, but they're not terrible, either. Out of five stars I give three stars to Mr. and Mrs. Smith and Ultra Violet and two and a half to Underworld: Evolution. I also rented Rent and Aeon Flux, but haven't watched them yet. I know these are all old movies, but I rarely go to the theater to see a movie at first run. Most of the time, they're not worth the ticket price.
      Time to get ready for work. Have a great day.

Sigh

      The cold continues. I am exhausted and annoyed. How was your day?
      I watched a bizarre movie Black Moon on the Sundance Channel. Please, someone else watch it and explain it to me. It's strange beyond strange.
      I'm going to bed now. That's all I do lately. Sleep, sneeze, cough and sleep some more. Yeah, it's exciting.
      Just one more day of work until the blessed weekend. I can't wait. Night!

What we carry

      Despite still fighting this cold, I was out in my backyard a few hours ago playing in the water. Well, actually I was cleaning my backyard fountain. My so-helpful roomie noticed that the pump was getting clogged, and it either had to be shut down or cleaned. I considered shutting it down, but the pump loses its prime easily and it's a lot of work to prime it again. The pump is also what keeps the fountain basin from becoming a haven for breeding mosquitoes.
      So I put on old clothes, wrapped up my throat, went outside and cleaned it. Naturally I got soaked, but it was a nice day outside and I didn't get chilled. Hopefully no harm will result from it, and the fountain looks nice.
      Since I was out there, I cleaned the birdbath and filled it and watered some flowers. I started to feel kind of shaky at that point so I came in to dry off and sit for a bit. I probably shouldn't have done it, but it needed to be done.
      It's that way with my fish. They're on a regular schedule of water changes for their tank. Have to have the changes to stay healthy. I had planned on changing the water and cleaning the tank Sunday afternoon, but I felt so bad that I considered just letting it go. But the tank had a strong fishy smell, and when it does, it can become septic fast and kill a lot of fish. So despite how I felt, I cleaned the tank. The fish are happy. Or I guess they are. It's hard to tell with fish.
      I grew up on a farm, and that's one lesson I learned well: Chores don't stop just because you're sick or have an event you want to go to or a ballgame to attend. Cattle, hogs, chickens, goats and sheep have to be fed and watered, especially in the winter. They depend on you, and if you let down on your end, they can die quick. On a small farm, you can't afford that.
      When my dad was so sick with cancer, he still got out there and fed his animals for as long as he physically could. That's what he did for the creatures who depended on him: He took care of them.
      It's our responsibilities that define us. What we carry and how we carry them is our true measure. Without exception, this applies to our job, our children, our spouse, our church, our nation, everything in our lives.
      This is why I get disgusted with parents who put their needs before those of their children. It seems my community is filled with people who run off with their boyfriends/girlfriends/both and leave their children to be raised by the children's grandparents or other relatives. How worthless can a person be?
      Because of a secondary business that my boss owns, I get to see quite a few people who have chosen drugs or alcohol or abusive lovers over their children. It's horribly sad, and it makes me angry. I wonder why they had children in the first place. Didn't they realize that they were given a responsibility? Didn't they realize that they were given a gift? Are they so selfish that they can't see how they're hurting their children? Or are they so far gone that they can't see anything but their own needs?
      Mind you, I'm talking about small children, babies who can't take care of themselves, who need an adult and who have had the misfortune to be born to some selfish jerks. Eventually the children end up with a relative or, God help them, the state child care system or sometimes they end up dead.
      When did responsibility become a dirty word? Isn't accepting the tasks put before you the sign of an adult? When did our culture decide that being young and carefree were the only things to strive for?
      It's time to change that. To stand up and be adults. To be mature and make intelligent decisions for our children and our world. It's time to grow up. If we fail to do this, future generations will not be kind when they judge us. But if we don't grow up politically, environmentally and spiritually, we might not have to worry about their judgment because there might not be any future generations. And that's a failure I can't bear to consider.