Ridiculously long lists

      I just noticed that I haven't updated the meters for my various projects recently. I'll have to do that. Let me add it to my ridiculously long list of things to do. It is a long, long, long list as I discovered yesterday as I was updating my to-dos. 104 items for the rest of this week and the weekend.
      Don't panic, I tell myself. Most of the items aren't hard. They just need to be done. Naturally I won't get them all done this week. But I'm aiming for a third of them. The others will have to wait. Only so many hours in a day, only so many days in week, only so many weeks in a year, only so many years in a life.
      Time. Anniversaries. Holidays. Birthdays. When I was a kid, it was an eternity between birthdays. Now it feels like I had one just yesterday.
      A friend of mine asked what I wanted for my birthday. I told him that a good meal is fine. But what I really want is to be out of debt. I will pay off a credit card in September or October. Wish I could pay it off this month. After that, it will be eight or nine months before I can pay off another one. Then I start on the large card, the monster debt that I paid off all those cards to focus on. I won't tell you how much it is, but it will take four years from today to pay off ... unless a windfall happens or I inherit money or the government decides to give me a lot of money just because I'm me. And they really should.
      The thing is, I wish I was out of debt now. I'd like to be free of the worry now. Of course, I know that my world doesn't work like that. I don't have anything that I didn't work for. I don't think I'd have it any other way ... I don't think I would, but let's see what happens if I ever get an offer.
      If you read much 17th and 18th century literature, you'll find that in the old days, the Devil went around making deals all the time with humans. Their souls for fame and fortune or whatever. It's worth noting that rarely did those stories have a happy ending, at least not for the humans. One assumes the Devil had a good time for the most part, but that was a long time ago before he joined the Republican party and became rather dour. Not that he doesn't have his agents among the Democrats, of course. Edward Kennedy has broken at least seven of the Commandants that we know of. I'm sure he's working on the other three; he's always been an overachiever.
      Still, I see the Devil as a Republican now, if only because I suspect he makes sure he's in the ruling party. He's that sort of guy ... or being ... or whatever. As I imagine it, he has a huge to-do list, too. Besides the major items like disease, war, starvation, etc., he also keeps track of smaller annoyances that help keep life frustrating. Such as:
      1. Credit card companies. The Devil is very proud of them as well as the whole idea of outrageous interest rates. After all, paying for sins after you die has to be the ultimate installment plan.
      2. Styrofoam cups. Why this one? Well, who else would create a piece of litter that won't degrade naturally and thus will be around for centuries?
      3. Air conditioning repairmen who don't repair anything. Yes, that's right. My house still has no air conditioning. Sigh. The fan and maybe something else needs replacing. They have to come back again but probably not tomorrow, which means I will be holed up in bedroom most of the weekend, only venturing out in the early morning before the blazing sun climbs into the sky and attempts to grill us.
      4. Blogger. Which hasn't been letting me blog. Or comment.
      5. Gas prices. I'm thinking horses are going to be real popular soon. And not just for meals, either.
      6. Weathermen who keep smiling and talking about how the skies are clear and "We'll have a bright, sunny day tomorrow" when the tires on our parked cars are melting. Of course, they probably have air conditioning that works. Vermin.
      7. Roaches and other pests like Congressmen and telemarketers and those cute Girl Scouts who push those cookies even though lemon creme cookies are as addictive as crack.
      8. I was going to write more, but it's FIVE THOUSAND DEGREES IN MY HOUSE! ARRRRGGGHHHHH!!!! My keyboard is melting! I'm melting! What a world! I'm retreating to my bedroom. Have a good ... COOL ... night.