Slobbish

I think it's important at this point to say that I'm a lazy slob. Although I seem to be busy all the time, when I go to list my activities, apparently I am a lazy slob. Particularly in writing and publishing. Which are supposedly my favorite activities. Instead I spend most of my time on chores, housework, yard work, errands, phone calls, worrying, watching TV, listening to music, reading other people's books, going to the library, watering my flowers outdoors, watering my plants indoors, laundry, testing my blood sugar, etc., etc., etc.

This is not to say that I don't have times when writing is the most important thing to me. Unfortunately, those times are in the minority. And often happen at two in the morning or when I am at some activity that's utterly bores me. But let me sit down at the keyboard and all inspiration vanishes just like a Republican’s heart or a Democrat’s morality. (I've decided to be an equal opportunity political party offender. If I haven't offended you yet, please understand that I will get to you as soon as I can.)

I've always been baffled that my lack the commitment to writing when it's been the only constant thing in my life (besides God and the church) since I was a child. I've often wondered if I'm more in love with the ideal of having written than writing itself. Or it could be that I'm a lazy slob. I'm leaning towards a lazy slob answer myself because it's probably more true than I would like, has lots of evidence to support it, and it's an easy answer, which appeals to the lazy slob side of me.

I'm so lazy I'm not even typing this right now. I'm using Dragon NaturallySpeaking, which is a voice dictation program. (I purchased Dragon NaturallySpeaking because I was worried about my ability to type if the arthritis in my hands worsens… And because I'm a lazy slob.) So when I talk about slaving over the keyboard, I'm really talking about talking over the keyboard.

It's a relief to finally tell you all that I'm a lazy slob. No more pretending about being productive or using my time wisely. I need to get me a bag of pork rinds and turn on some world championship wrestling, and I will finally be content.

Are you content? Are you a lazy slob? Let me know. But speak softly. I may be taking a nap. Talk to you tomorrow.

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