Writing about what I am writing about

I was hoping Floozy and Other Stories would show up on Amazon.com during February or March. No such luck. It's still a bit early, but it would have been nice if it had. I'd like to do promotion for it, and maybe get some more sales. The bank account is whining mightily. Soon I will be forced to start selling kidneys on the black market. Several of my neighbors have an extra, and I’m sure they wouldn’t mind contributing to my welfare. And if they do, it won’t matter since they will be lying unconscious in a bathtub filled with ice. Ha-ha. Just kidding. Sort of.


Floozy will be available on Amazon.com soon, though. Probably in March or April. Then I can start pestering reminding people of where they can buy that gem of comedy greatness.

Speaking of my writing — and I was and you should be listening carefully as you never know what incredible and life changing wisdom I might choose to impart — I should have another Measurements of Murder™ mystery out this year. Yes, Bernard and Lisa stumble upon some more bodies in Murder by the Mile. Frankly, I wouldn’t visit their town of Ryton for nothing in the world, and I certainly wouldn’t be Lisa’s or Bernard’s friend or relative. They’re dangerous people to be around. I wonder when the chief of police is going to realize that Ryton was a nice quiet town before those two psychos showed up.

I’m also working on Debt Free At Last! A Beginner’s Guide to Money Management and hope to have it finished this year, also. I had a co-author on that book who has now bowed out. He has other time commitments, and he discovered that writing actually takes time and effort. I’m constantly reminded of that fact myself. Gloria Steinem once said, “I do not like to write; I like to have written.” There’s a lot of truth in that.

Another truth — an ironic truth as it were — is when I had a job, I constantly complained about how it took away time for me to write, and now that I’m unemployed, all I can think about is getting another job. There’s just no pleasing me, I guess.

This is not to say I haven’t been writing; I just haven’t been writing as much as I thought I’d write. I find I spend as much time worrying about my creditors as I do banging on my keyboard. Funny how that worked out, isn’t it? If you listen closely, you can hear my crazed laughter even where you’re hiding at.

I also have been writing a play. I have no idea what it’s about. So far it’s just four characters talking, talking, talking about nothing much. It’s like a talk show, but not as annoying. It doesn’t even have a title yet, but I’m thinking about calling it The Best Play Ever Written. Catchy, don’t you think? If William Shakespeare had possessed my sense of marketing, who knows where he’d be today? Well, he’d still be dead, but you know what I mean.

Of course, I will eventually find a new job and/or rob a bank and be rolling in dough. (I mean I will have a lot of money. I won’t actually be rolling in bread dough. Not again.) Or I will live off of the government dole and buy me one of those “welfare Cadillacs” that I hear so many conservative talk show hosts complain about.

In the meantime, don’t drink, don’t smoke, don’t eat excessive amounts of animal protein, drink lots of water, and stay fit. In other words, take care of your kidneys. You never know when one of them might be needed.
 
Copyright 2011 by Stephen B. Bagley. All rights reserved. No copying without express written permission from the author and publisher.
 
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