Falling

      In my ongoing attempt to injure, break or hurt every part of my body, I fell down the steps at work today. I opened the back door, stepped down, my ankle twisted, I dropped my cane and briefcase, I tumbled forward, flying six feet before experiencing an abrupt and unfriendly landing. It’s always bad if you have enough time to think, “This is going to hurt” before you hit. I took the landing on my left shoulder and left hip. In some strange quirk of aerodynamics, the cane then hit me on my head.
      There’s always that stunned moment after a fall. Your body is dazed, and muscles clamp down. Your brain can’t keep up with various pain messages it’s receiving. So I just laid on the floor until the rumbles ceased.
      Then I discovered that I couldn’t get up. My back had spasmed, and it wouldn’t allow me to turn over. I tried for several minutes to pull myself over to a wall, getting some carpet burns on my chest (no, that’s really how I got them) but I couldn’t do it.
      I was panicking by this time so I pulled my cell phone out of my shirt pocket and called 911. I got a recorded message that said, “This number is unavailable.” I thought I might have dialed it wrong so I called again. Unavailable.
      By this time, I had spent a good 15 minutes on the floor. The carpet is blue, by the way, a fact that I don’t think I’ve registered before. At least not so close and personal.
      I then paged my roomie. He works at a hospital and I thought he could call an ambulance for me. I could have called the operator to do that, but I wasn’t thinking clearly.
      My roomie returned my page, but my hand was shaking and instead of answering his call, I refused his call. Luckily he called again, and I told him what had happened. He said he was on his way and hung up.
      The hospital is about 20 minutes from my office so I was in for a wait. Just then, a guy from the business next to where to I work noticed that our back door was open as he took a cigarette break. He looked in, saw me sprawled on the floor, let out a startled vulgarity and rushed to help me.
      With his help, I got up and over into a chair. By this time, the shock had worn off and various aches and pains began to assert themselves. I took inventory. Shoulder and hip were unhappy. Upper arm very unhappy. Left ankle screaming. Back was … well, really, it wasn’t hurting any more than usual. I also discovered a knot on the left side of my head where I had hit the floor. And no, the floor wasn’t cracked.
      I called my roomie and told him that I got help and was up and wanted to give myself a few minutes before I decided if I needed any medical care. He was in his truck, but I told him that I’d call if I needed him.
      I put a cold pack on my ankle, took some pain meds, stood up, swayed a bit, but then balanced. I limped up front, turned on the lights, opened the front door, started my computer, and now here I am typing this to you. I’m feel a bit battered, but by the grace of the Good Lord, I think I’m okay, something to give thanks for on this Wednesday morning. How are you doing?