N is for nowhere in particular

Did you ever get the urge to run away? Nowhere in particular, just somewhere else. Maybe a distant city where you'd start a new life without all the history that weighs you down, holds you back, all those expectations that you can't meet or that you can but don't want to any longer.

Maybe you even make plans. Maybe not real plans. But you pick up brochures at the travel agent. Google a city you might like. Consider who you'd tell your new address. Wonder where you would work. What your new job would be and how you'd find new friends. Friends who would be different, friends who didn't know your failures and follies. Friends who would wholeheartedly support you.

And of course, the new location changes you. You're braver. Smarter. Funnier. Kinder. Capable. Cherished. You finally become the person you've always thought you could be. You find a new love.

Yes, a new love. Someone who would love you as much as you loved. Maybe even more. Maybe you'd be the needed one. Romantic dinners. Walks at night on the beach or picnics in the park or a stroll across a flower filled meadow.

It's all very lovely. Only one thing -- one person -- mars this picture. Because you know -- you know -- that you carry all your hurts and insecurities and pain with you. You'd seek out a different dead-end job and find friends who would take more than they gave and a new love who would treat you like the old one did.

You throw away the brochures. Shut down the computer. Turn on the TV. That's how it always ends.

But maybe not this time. Maybe this time you pack a suitcase. You hail a taxi and hop on a plane. And as it climbs into the sky, you leave all those old sorrows behind and soar away into a new glorious life. Maybe that's what will happen this time.

Maybe.

(This post is part of the 2013 Blogging From A to Z April Challenge. Learn more about the Challenge HERE.)