Amazing song and video

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A bit of talk

I have nothing to say tonight. So don't expect anything. Nice that you dropped by, though. Would you like some tea? One or two sugars? Cream? A squeeze of lemon? And have a couple of those almond drop cookies. Delicious and light. Now, let's have a bit of talk, shall we?

I do like tea, of course, but I drink it without sugar now. Sometimes with a bit of milk, but no sugar. Unless I have a cold, then I drink it hot with sugar or honey and a squeeze of lemon juice and a tablespoon of milk. Very soothing.

Have another cookie. You must be hungry. I wish I had thought to make some sandwiches. Although not cucumber or watercress. I've never had either, but they don't sound good. Apparently if you have a tea room, you are supposed to offer them. And the sandwiches have to be crust less. Ladylike or something like that.

Tuna sandwiches might be nice. Or perhaps a tomato sandwich. You've not heard of a tomato sandwich? Easy to make and surprisingly tasty. Toast two slices of bread. Spread with butter. Add a couple slices of a fairly firm not too juice tomato. Sprinkle with salt. I read about them years and years ago in a book Harriet the Spy by Louise Fitzhugh published in 1964. Harriet liked tomato sandwiches. I tried them. Wouldn't want a regular diet of them, but with a good tomato, quite tasty.

Wish I had one now, but it's too late. And I can't do more than sip the tea, or I will never get to sleep. I keep intending on going to bed at normal hours, but come midnight, I'm wide awake. Quite annoying. I'm exhausted, but can't sleep.

Speaking of which, don't mean to hurry along, but it's time for me to go to bed. Let me take your cup. Oh, take a few of these cookies. I sure don't need to have them here. I'll wrap them up in this napkin. There you go.

Have a great night. Talk to you tomorrow. Bye.

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True enough

Prayer is great. Hymns are great. Preaching is great. Sunday school is great. Praise songs are great. Special solos are great. Choirs are great. Fellowship with coffee is great. Featured speakers are great. Monthly newsletters are great. Youth programs are great. Spiritual retreats are great. Prayer breakfasts are great.

But getting your butt up out of the pew and helping someone is greater.

- The Gospel according to Stephen

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My Saturday

Attended my local writers group meeting this morning and then went to lunch with a good friend. Worked on the January family newsletter and have it almost finished. Still need to write my humor column and talk to my oldest niece to get her news.

Shouldn't have waited this late in the month to work on it. Procrastination, ya know. I'm good at it. But it's almost done.

Been trying new (cheaper) paper in my printer. Not working as well as I'd like. That expensive coated-on-two-sides paper reproduces photos and text significantly better than the cheap paper. Bummer. Have to keep trying to find a cheaper alternative. But every experiment costs me money.

Money, money, money, it's a rich man's world ... ABBA had that right.

Let's see, what else did I do today? Not much. Read mostly. Watched TV. A few chores. Went to Staples for a few things. And that was my day.

What was your day like?

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But I will

When I had a job, I always looked forward to Friday because its arrival meant the weekend with its glorious freedom was nearly here. Now, Friday is just another day that I work on my computer and try to make a living from my writing.

Well. Things could be worse. I remind myself of that often. And I do have many, many blessings that the majority of the world does not. Roof over my head, food on my table, health that could be better but not life-threatening, books to read, nieces and nephews to love, good friends, and many other things that bring me joy. When the black dog grabs my ankle, I need to beat him away with the knowledge that I am loved and are worthy of that love. Easy to say, but somehow very hard to do.

But I will.

Have a big list of things to do today so I better get back to it. Hope you have a great Friday and wonderful weekend.

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Apple cider vinegar

Read an article in Reader's Digest about the health benefits of apple cider vinegar. ACV has been a folk remedy for centuries. Maybe there's some truth in it. I don't know. Here's what the article said that ACV might be good for.

1. Sore throat. The article said you should mix ¼ cup apple cider vinegar with ¼ cup warm water and gargle every hour or so. You should do that as soon as you feel a sore throat coming on. I wonder if the vinegar burns, particularly if your throat is already raw.

2. Stuffy nose. Mix a teaspoon of apple cider vinegar in a glass of water and sip. Supposedly this helps sinus drainage. I'll have to try it.

3. Nighttime leg cramps. I'm definitely going to try this, because I do suffer them, particularly on days that I've walked. What you're supposed to do is to  mix 2 tablespoons apple cider vinegar and a little honey into  a glass of water and drink. I'm going to have to buy some honey, though. I don't think I have any in the house.

4. Indigestion prevention. Mix 1 teaspoon of honey and one of ACV in a glass of warm water and drink a half hour before you eat. I've tried this, and it didn't work, but I'm thinking the warm water is what make it hard for me to swallow and keep down. Next time, I'm going to try cool water.

5. Hiccups. The remedy is to swallow a teaspoonful of vinegar. Haven't tried this yet, but I would think any sour liquid would do.

6. Stomach ache. 1 teaspoon in a glass of cool water. I have tried this, and sometimes it works. Depends on the problem. Supposedly it works when you're fighting a bacterial infection, because ACV has antibiotic properties. I don't know. Try it, but don't overdo the ACV. It can sour your stomach by itself, I've found.

7. Whiten your teeth. You should gargle with apple cider vinegar in the morning. ACV supposedly helps remove stains, whiten teeth, and kill bacteria. Brush afterwards. I do this sometimes, so I can tell you that your toothpaste will taste really weird afterwards!

8. Help with workout exhaustion. The amino acids in ACV help combat lactic acid, which can cause fatigue when it builds up after a workout. Also, ACV contains potassium, which can be depleted by exercise and stress. You supposed to mix a tablespoon of ACV in a glass or water or any other drink. I haven't tried this, but will.

If you Google "apple cider health benefits," you can find all sorts of claims made for ACV, up to and including that it can fight cancer. I doubt that, but who knows? At the very least, it shouldn't harm you, and you can't say that about many of the drugs doctors prescribe.

Talk to you tomorrow.

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Procrastination is making me ............. wait

By Stephen B. Bagley

I don’t know why I do it. I have a huge list of things to do that need to be done, but I haven't done them. I kept intending to do those things and be horribly horribly horribly productive. However, more important things came up, like searching for a job, getting a haircut, watching TV, cutting my toenails, sending fan mail to Dolly Parton, putting bars on my windows so that the aliens can’t get in again, etc. Actually, those aren't more important things. (Except for that pesky job search; my creditors insist it's important. I think they need to calm down right now.) Those other things just happen to be the things that I did instead. I don’t know why.

Of course, it’s called procrastination. I’m sure we insanely gifted but humble folk all suffer from it. It’s well known that Michelangelo was a genius at procrastination. The Sistine Chapel should have taken him only a weekend, but he was able to spread it out over four years. By the way, he got paid the whole time, which is another indication of his genius.

You might be surprised that I suffer from procrastination. Well, that’s not true. I don’t suffer from it at all; I enjoy every minute of it. I must; otherwise, why would I do it? Of course, I’m not lazy. Unlike Michelangelo who used to hang out at pool halls and on street corners, I stay busy. I just stay busy at other things than what I should be doing. This is one reason that I have at least six or seven projects going at the same time so that I have something to switch to when the deadline for my current project draws near.

Of course, I always eventually get things done. Or have so far. Admittedly, many things get done at the last minute. I’m a firm believer that, if it wasn’t for the last minute, nothing would get done. I would like to pin this on my newspaper experience with deadlines, but I had this problem even when I was in grade school, long before my veins ran with black ink.

I would blame this problem on my older siblings who are responsible for so many of my problems and will someday be rewarded accordingly if I ever get around to it, which is unlikely because frankly they scare me and, if they don't scare you, you're not very bright, but you're cute, and so you'll probably make out okay in this world. But what was I saying? Oh yeah, while I would like to blame this on my siblings who dropped me on my head repeatedly when I was a child in their happy games of basestephen and stephenball, I'm afraid it's an inherent character flaw.

Yes, I know you're shocked to discover I have flaws. Me, too. I was totally surprised to find this out. It seemed so unlikely. Who knew? Don’t raise your hands. It was a rhetorical question.

While the flaw is inherent, it was reinforced in school where I learned mostly useless facts to regurgitate at regular intervals (tests) and then in the newspaper business where I interviewed politicians to learn mostly useless facts to regurgitate at regular intervals (daily newspapers).

I can’t recall all the times a teacher or my editor stood over my desk waiting for me to finish. No, really, I can’t recall. I wasn’t paying attention. I don’t pay attention to authorities. It may be another flaw. Shh. Don’t tell anyone! It will be our little secret.

But I must point out that I did finish the research paper, the feature article, and the various rockets, all by the stated deadline. The secret for productivity for me is to harness the power of deadlines! If I can learn to set myself deadlines, I can do all sorts of things: write more books and articles, learn a foreign language, take a shower, release my neighbors from my cellar, and more.

I’m going to start working on that. 

Someday soon.  

Copyright 2012. Excerpted from Return of the Floozy. No copying without express prior written permission from the publisher and author. Thank you for reading.

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The problem

I have finally figured out the problem with Murder by the Mile.

It's not the characters. They're quirky, funny, sad, and brave. And waiting for me to tell their story.

It's not the plot. It has its tricky moments and rough patches, but the core of it is true.

It's not the subplots. They're adding humor and realism as they're supposed to do.

It's not the writing itself. I'm not Shakespeare, but never claimed to be. I craft words. That's enough to tell this story well.

No, the problem is none of these.

The problem is me.

A lack of will.

A lack of faith.

A lack of courage.

Hard to look at me. Hard to realize I have to change again. Hard to become once more what I was and more than I was.

Easy to say. Hard to do.

But I specialize in the hard to do. It's my super power, ya know. Time to get to it.

Once more into the breach, dear friends, once more ...

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Check

To do list

House is back in order. Check.

Most of the game materials are filed. The rest have to be read through and corrected and filed. Will do over the next couple of weeks. Check.

Guest bedroom in shape again to receive visitors -- well, as good a shape as it was before the weekend. Check.

Laundry done. Check.

Dishes washed. Check.

Nothing to do except to write. Che--

Or maybe play World of Warcraft. No, I should write. Well, it wouldn't hurt to do one quick quest. It's been a while since I've been on. One quick quest, and then I'll write.

Several hours later ...

Writing. Unchecked.

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Whew

Stayed up until 1:30 this morning. I'm worn out today. Exhausted, but pleased with the game. Although there's always that letdown when it's over. I always hate when a project ends and no longer commands my attention. There's something very satisfying about working in a creative fashion.

Well, time for a new project. It's not like I don't have plenty to do. Murder by the Mile, of course. But first I have to get my house back in order and put away the game materials and catch up on everything I left undone while devoting all my time to The Jerosah Legacy.

It will take a couple of days for me to recharge. Wish I could speed up the process, but that's how it works for me. New tracks have to be laid for that train in my mind before I can steam ahead. And that's just about as far as I'm going to take that metaphor. Although ... I do like trains. The old steam ones were quite grand.

Anyway, I'm going to continue to putter around the house for the rest of the day. File some things, put somethings away, do some laundry. Talk to you tomorrow.

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Quick break

Just a quick break in the game, so I thought I'd take a moment and post. The Jerosah Legacy is going well. Lots of surprises for the players. We went to lunch at a local Mexican restaurant and then stopped by a local comic/gaming store. Now, a few of the players have gone to the store for a few more munchies.

We'll probably play until midnight or later. Hope I can last. A nap would be nice. Man, am I getting old or what? Still, I do better at night than in the afternoon. I wake up around 5 p.m. and can go easily to one or two in the morning. Don't know how my biorhythms ended up that way. It's annoying, that's for sure. Sometimes I feel like a zombie in the morning. Got to figure out how to get back on a regular sleep schedule.

But not this weekend. This weekend is for giving the imagination a good workout. It's for adventure and thrills and laughs and magick and surprises.

They're back. Onward and upward to glory and beyond!

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Clever people

The players of The Jerosah Legacy arrive this afternoon! As always, I'm racing around frantically attempting to get everything done. My roomie took the day off to help me. (He's one of the players.) I appreciate his help. I wouldn't be able to get everything done. But the game is written, the table is set up in the garage, the food purchased, and the house fairly clean. Right now, I'm printing maps and notes and then going over both so that I'm ready for what they throw at me.

Well, I'm never completely ready. Doesn't matter how much work I put into it, the players always come up with something I didn't expect. They're clever people with a lot of imagination. I wish I could spend more time with them than I do. I think it would be good for me.

Okay, back to work. Don't know if I'll be able to post tomorrow or not, but I'll try. If not, I'll be back Sunday.

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Unintentionally

The other day I made the mistake of asking a friend of mine how he was doing. He said fine, but I had question him further. I should have let well enough alone. At the second question, he unloaded his problem.

It was a big one. He's cheating on his wife. And has fallen in love with the other woman. But he's still in love with his wife, too.

I felt immensely weary as he shared this knowledge that I had unintentionally asked for. I like his wife. I like his mistress. I can see nothing in this except pain for all concerned.

I even caused some, because he wanted my support, my understanding, my concern. And I frankly didn't feel like giving them. I couldn't stop myself from judging him, from pointing out the consequences of this foolishness. I became jury and judge.

Not that I told him anything he didn't already know. But who appointed me to add to the guilt? We didn't fight. In fact, I told him I'd pray for him, and he thanked me. But I felt sick after we hung up. What terrible things we humans do to the people we love and ourselves.

All in all, a depressing day. I'm glad it's over. Tomorrow will be better. But probably not for him.

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Darker

"So I'm not what you expected," Serika said. She tossed back her drink. "Am I darker than you thought?"

"No," Nathaniel said. "Darker than I hoped."

"Naive."

"Yes." He nodded. "It's a failing of mine. Even though we continue to live down to the lowest expectations, I keep hoping for something more."

She laughed, a brittle sound as cold as the ice in her drink. "Oh, this is rich! Who would have thought the Sword and the Arm could be so ... childish?"

He gave a slight shrug. "Everyone has their faults. Even you."

"Not nice of you to notice," Serika said, her fangs extending. "I suppose you'll try to kill me now."

"No," he said.

She widened her eyes. "Surely not mercy for me."

"No, no mercy for one such as you who has mercilessly preyed upon mankind," he said. He turned away.

"I don't ..." She stopped and looked at the drink. "You ..." The glass fell from her hand and shattered on the floor. "Poison ... you ..."

He didn't look back as her skin blackened and burned. She died with a curse on her lips.

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Crosswise

Meant to do all sorts of things, but life got crosswise on me. Does that sometimes. You know what I mean? You start out with all sorts of plans and designs, and at the end of the day, you're somewhere else and doing things you didn't plan to do while what you needed to do isn't done. Crosswise.

Cross purposes. People do it all the time. The goal may be the same, but the paths are so widely different that the goal ends up not being as important as the means. Not supposed to be that way, but you only have to look our nation's politics to see this is so. Not that the political parties have clear cut goals. They're too busy attacking each other. For what, no one knows. Not even them.

It's the symptom of a disease that affects our nation now. The desire to win at all costs, the desire to have our way, the core values preached by the the so-called progressives and the so-called liberals and the so-called libertarians and the so-called conservatives ... If it sounds like I'm weary of them, I am. It's no wonder that God sometimes thinks of sweeping the board clear and starting again. We're fortunate that His mercy has forestalled him.

So far.

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Busy busy day

Got my Christmas decorations took down and put away. Quite a job. Took all day and left me worn out. So much so that I didn't cook supper tonight. Instead we went out to eat with friends.

Intended to work more on The Jerosah Legacy, but didn't have time to do much. Printed out some maps and floor plans. Worked a bit on the supporting characters. Have to make it a priority tomorrow.

Shaping up to be a very busy week. Need to finish The Jerosah Legacy, clean the house, de-clutter and dust the back bedroom so more, and all the usual chores. Oh, and exercise, too. Got to make time for that as much as I can. Health has to be a priority this year and from now on. Need my energy back, and losing weight will go a long way that direction.

Have to put Murder by the Mile aside this week to work on The Jerosah Legacy. Just as well. It's continuing to give me trouble. But it's not the book. It's me. I'm the problem. Not the book, nor the characters, nor the plot, nor the subplots ... they all require work, but I'm the problem. I'm standing in the way of my success, and I'm going to work this out. I will write this book, and I will publish this book, and I will keep moving forward. You do that, too.

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The Jerosah Legacy

The Jerosah Legacy is the next role-playing scenario that I have to finish. And fast as the players arrive this weekend. I always enjoy these gaming weekends, but they leave me exhausted. Not as young as I used to be. No, really, it's that I'm not as healthy as I used to be. But I'm working on that.

The Jerosah Legacy is about a man and his twisted desire to live forever, no matter what the cost is to other people. That's an important plot point: the fact the other people have had to pay the cost for his quest. It's one thing if you have to pay for your dream, but it's entirely different if other people are forced to.

I certainly don't want to die, but I'm not willing to kill other people to extend my life. That's the whole vampire/lich thing. Of course, that's not a possibility, anyway. We have no way to magically extend our lives by taking it from others. If we did, though, you know there would be plenty of people in Hollywood and Washington D.C. that would leap on it with a ferocity not seen even in starving sharks.

Horrible in reality, but lots of thrills in fantasy. Books and role-playing allow us to contemplate such horrors from the safety of our reading chairs, but we'd never want them in real life.

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Great day

Had a great day with my roomie's daughter and her family, including the marvelous Mikey and his wonderful brothers. Although I should call him Mike now, because, at ten going on 18, he's quite a little man with opinions and arguments and generally just growing up faster than I'd like. He talks about getting a car and already has a little girlfriend. Slow down, little boy! I'm not ready for you to grow up yet.

Oh well. Dang time waits for nothing.

And now I have to take all my Christmas decorations down. I had left up the tree and the other decorations inside until this gathering was over. I probably will leave them up tomorrow, too. But Monday, they all come down. Sigh. I hate when Christmas is over. Things are much bleaker. Wonder if I could leave my tree up all year. Well, of course, I could, but I think after several months, even I would get tired of it.

So Monday, back in the boxes everything must go. Until next year.

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Friday the 13th

Spent most of the day cleaning house and getting it ready for visitors. My roomie's daughter and her family -- including the marvelous Mikey and his wonderful brothers -- will be coming up tomorrow for our Christmas with the kids. They were supposed to come last weekend, but couldn't and rescheduled for this one. Looking forward to their visit.

I also have my local writing group tomorrow. We're supposed to have a program and discuss the club anthology. Hope more people show up. Our numbers have been low during the holidays. Maybe the new year will bring people out.

Otherwise, not much else to tell you. So I'll just mosey on out of here. Hey, did you have a good Friday the  13th? Anything interesting happen? And yes, I'm talking to you. Share!

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Another excerpt from MBTM

Thought I'd share another excerpt from Murder by the Mile. In this one, our stumbling hero Bernard makes a dangerous mistake and pays for it.

From Murder by the Mile

      When Bernard ran after the fleeing figure, he had no thought for his safety or what he would do if he caught whoever it was. It was instinct. What could someone be doing there? Didn’t criminals often return to the scene of the crime?

      He rounded the corner and saw the person – a man – plunge into the shadowed woods up ahead. Bernard crashed after him, running at an angle to intercept his quarry. Briars and branches lashed at his face and tore at his clothes.

      He was certain now that he followed the murderer. Bernard found his stride as he ran. His body finally remembered the rhythm he had in high school when he ran cross country for the track team. He felt like he could run forever. His heart pounded as he raced across a small clearing. He nearly tripped, caught a tree to right his balance, and realized he couldn’t hear any sounds from the other man. He had lost the trail. Or ... the murderer had stopped.

      He tried to catch his breath, listening intently for any noise that would betray the other’s presence. In the long shadows, he realized he had made himself a target. He eased around the tree, trying to move as quietly as he could. Fortunately the ground was free of leaf litter, but every step he took seemed to thunder. He stopped moving. Tried to hold his breath. He listened. His eyes strained, but he realized that the woods were darker than he had thought they would be. The trees blocked out what little light the setting sun still gave out.

      The sounds of the woods reasserted themselves. Crickets, a few birds, tree frogs. The whining of mosquitoes. He slowly let his breath out. Had the other man slipped away? Maybe, but Bernard could almost feel someone near.

      He slowly walked forward. A small stream meandered through the woods. Bernard slipped on a slick stone. His foot hit the water. The splash echoed through the woods.

      A loud crash to the left!

      Bernard raced toward it.

      It was the murderer!

      The chase was on again, but this time Bernard began to close the distance. He had caught his second wind, and even though the darkness was falling across the woods, he could see the red flannel shirt of the man.

      He tried to force more speed out of his legs, but the uneven ground and grabbing briars and branches hampered his efforts. He was close, but he couldn’t close the gap. He hoped the other man gave out before him.

      They ran deeper into the woods. Bernard’s world narrowed to the flashes of the red shirt in front of him. It was so dark now he couldn’t make any other details.

      Slowly he gained.

      The other man stopped, turned, and barreled toward Bernard!

      Bernard tried to dodge, but his momentum carried him forward.

      They hit.

      They fell, rolling on the ground, Bernard’s speed carrying him over the man.

      Bernard scrambled to his feet.

      The man came up swinging a piece of wood.

      Bernard ducked.

      The man jabbed the wood into Bernard’s stomach.

      Bernard couldn’t catch his breath, but as the man swung again, he caught the branch and held on.

      The man pushed it and Bernard back.

      Suddenly, there was no ground beneath Bernard.

      He was falling backwards down a slope.

      Then he was free falling.

      He hit the ground hard.

      Darkness closed around him.

Excerpted from Murder by the Mile. Copyright 2012 by Stephen B. Bagley. No copying of any fashion is permitted. Thank you for reading.

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Making the bed

I've been asked before how I get so much done in a day. Well, on those days when I'm productive and not huddled in front of the TV watching reruns of NCIS and Fraiser while gulping tea and munching on pretzels -- which happens rather more than I'm proud of, I'm sorry to say.

Mostly I use my D20 list, which I've covered in a previous post here. And I don't turn the TV. And I play lively music that keeps me moving.

But the most important thing I do is to make up my bed. Yes, that's my secret of productive days. I make my bed. It gives an orderly start to my day, and it gives me a quick item to mark off my D20 list.

But the most important thing making my bed does is keeps me from getting back in it!

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This and that and that, too

Didn't walk today at the gym. Had to meet a few friends at Rib Crib to celebrate a friend's long-awaited divorce. Nice meal, but I was stuffed afterwards. I think my stomach is shrinking because I used to be able to put away a meal there and then some and still be able to shove more food down my throat. Oh well, those days are gone, and it's good that they are.

Worked on my D20 list all day and got 16 items checked off. I didn't make a D20 yesterday, and my productivity suffered. For better or worse, I'm a list man. That works for me. Have you tried it? I think most busy people use some way of keeping their priorities straight, and I think lists are the way that most use, whether it be on paper or on their computer screen or phone. I like the simplicity of paper, although I have used my computer before. But a computer is hard to carry. I know people who use their phone, but mine doesn't have that capacity as far as I know. Besides, the screen is too small.

Drank a Dr Pepper today. Don't usually do that, anymore, but needed the caffeine boost. And it does help, although I have to watch how much I drink and how late I drink it. Caffeine keeps me awake when I should be sleeping. Since I've mostly cut soft drinks out of my life, I've lost most of my resistance to caffeine. Too much, and I began to buzz around the room unable to concentrate on anything in particular for very long. I also don't need the sugar.

Sugar is my big addiction, and if I have a little of it, I want more of it. Lots more of it. One doughnut will lead to four or more, so best to not have that one. But resisting that one -- whoa baby, that's hard.

Well, that's enough for today. Going to watch the Leno monologue and his Headlines (if he has them) now. Hope you're having a great week.

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Back to the gym

Went back to the gym today for a truly good and painful walk. My legs weren't happy. They've got lazy during the holidays. Well, they're sorry now, I tell you. In fact, they're complaining bitterly. Not that they can be heard over my stomach. It's angry because I've also started a low carb diet. Apparently no one is happy in the House of Stephen.

What can I say? Those things happen. I've explained to my legs and knees that I'm attempting to reduce the load they're carrying so life will be easier on them. They are very short-sighted, however, and keep pointing out that they were perfectly happy in the recliner. You just can't reason with them.

I'm being firm, though. Well, I'm not firm again, but I want to be firm. At least not jiggle so much. If you follow me. And if you do, why are following me?

Come on up and walk beside me. It's more fun that way.

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MBTM possible cover

This is a possible cover for Murder by the Mile. I really like the tree, but I might take the tree completely across the cover. We'll see. And the write-up on the back is mostly wrong. The story has changed since I created this cover nearly a year ago.



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Black dog hunting

Been having a real problem with depression the last couple of days. Time of the year, I guess. Money problems, health concerns, etc. The usual worries. The boring usual worries. The black dog isn't particularly inventive. No, it just hammers at me with all the old failures, all the old invectives, nothing new. No use talking about it; it's all been said before in a hundred ways. No use crying about it; too many tears over the years, and they don't do much.

No, I endure. Take my vitamins, get some sunshine if possible, write, talk to friends, exercise, play computer games, listen to uplifting music, do small chores, get lost in a book or three. Been here before. Will probably be here again. Just have to endure until the black dog goes wandering. Yes, there are meds, but I've never found them much help.

See, the black dog doesn't expect to overwhelm me with a sudden savage attack, although it has tried that before. No, it hopes to wear me down. To grind my hopes and dreams into nothingness. To end me and all I believe and strive to attain.

That's what it does. That's what it does to me. That's what it does to you.

But what the bastard doesn't understand is that I've fought this battle many, many times before. And I'm more than its equal. I'm its better.

You are, too.

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