Q & A on MBDD, Part 2

      We'll continue with our questions and answers on Murder by Dewey Decimal, the first book in the Measurements of Murder Mystery series.

      Are there -- I may swoon right here -- bad words in MBDD?

      Four. Actually only three since one is repeated. And only one is actually swearing. The others are simply vulgar but common, particularly at political conventions. Several of my proof readers pointed out that I mentioned characters swore but never wrote the words. They found it jarring and were also imagining harsher language that I think my characters would use. Some of my proofers need their minds washed out with soap.

      Is there any hot, sweaty, mind-blowing, physical, oh yes, savage but loving sex in MBDD?

      Uh, let me step away from you and answer that from over here. There was a bit of discussion about this very question from various readers. A couple of readers felt I was implying that sex had taken place. Others felt that sex wasn't implied and shouldn’t even be considered without a two-year marriage and then only for procreation. I'll leave it up to you to decide what actually happens those two nights. But I’m sure that two healthy young people would rather hold hands and talk about meaningful issues than engage in naughtiness.

      Why isn't there graphic sex and violence in the book?

      Okay, don’t make me get a restraining order. Stay over there! To answer your question, you sicko, it’s because I wrote it to be a "cozy" mystery. These mysteries feature amateur detectives and little or no violence and sex. They are not hard boiled, are often humorous, sometimes feature puzzles and riddles, and usually include a romantic subplot. These happen to be the mysteries I most enjoy. I’m bit of a prude. Where’s my shawl?

      Why did you choose Lulu to publish the book?

      Because there was once that comic book about plumb Little Lulu. She was hot. Also, I looked around, and Lulu was the only POD publisher that I could find that would allow me to publish the book without any payment on my part. I had also seen one of their books and thought it looked good. But most important was that my bank account is so empty that it actually –- like a black hole or a Congressional budget –- sucks money from surrounding accounts.

      What is a POD publisher? Are they aliens from another galaxy?

      No, you're thinking of POD people. They're aliens from other galaxy who are usually employed at the DMV. Print On Demand publishers print books as they are ordered, sometimes one at a time. But usually they print ten or more of the books and keep them in stock. This is a much, much, much lower inventory than a regular publisher. As a result, they don’t have to sell authors into slavery to pay their bills.

      What is the difference between Lulu and a vanity press?

      They’re spelled differently. Also, both produce self-published books, but vanity presses usually cost more, print copies for you to sell, design books covers, format the book, and offer publicity services, depending on the options you purchase from them. Lulu requires you do most of the publishing work yourself, but it's free. Lulu provides tons of help on their website and offer phone support, but you’re mostly on your own. Vanity presses have a bad reputation because many of them have body odor and promise publicity and sales services that don’t deliver the best sellers that their brochures imply. Also, because they publish everything that comes in with a signed check, critics and reviewers avoid the books published by them. However, there have been some huge POD and vanity successes. It seems to come down to the quality of the book and/or how hard the author works in selling the book.

      Won’t MBDD suffer because it doesn’t have the publicity support of a traditional publisher?

      Maybe, but since I don’t have any financial outgo -- besides an option I’m purchasing to receive an IBSN number and bar code -- it’s not as much of a concern as it would be for a person using a traditional vanity press who had to sell a kidney to pay the publishing bill.

      Actually I meant the support that a traditional publisher supplies, not a vanity press, you elbow.

      You mean those full page ads in the New York Times Book Review and appearances on the major talk shows? What planet are you living on, bucko? I regret to tell you that 95 percent of the authors never receive much sales support at all. I know an author who is currently publishing a fairly successful and well-written mystery series. Her publisher -- one of the big ones -- supplies a few press releases and buys small ads in a couple trade magazines. That’s all her sales justify in their opinion. Publishers increasingly expect authors to get out there and create their own audiences. I’m confident that I can give MBDD as much publicity or more than a lot of traditional authors receive. Elbow?

      How will you do that?

      We’ll pick that up tomorrow in the next installment, but it doesn’t involve goats or violence. At least, I don’t think it does. Yet. Because violence to goats is baaaaaad. And only you can prevent forest fires.

      By the way, if you have any questions about MBDD that I’m not covering in exhausting, mind-numbing detail, please leave them in comments, and I’ll try to answer them before this series ends. Unless they're too personal, in which case, the answer is without feathers.