Thursday, January 26, 2006

Occasionally

      Occasionally life decides to shock you. It's like that. It wants you to pay attention. So every now and then it throws a surprise at you. Sometimes those surprises are good. Sometimes they're bad.
      Today I was reading blogs at lunch. I have several that aren't my regular reads, but I still have them in my favorites, and I drop by from time to time.
      On one of them, in its latest entry, I noticed an odd reference to a loss. I scrolled down and I discovered the blogger's husband had been killed in a traffic accident in August. I was floored. Somehow I had missed those few posts where she talked about his death, the memorial service and what came after. I don't really know this person. We've been in the same chat room a few times at Forward Motion and exchanged a few "Howdys," but that's it. I know she writes. I know she's friendly with several people that I'm friendly with. How did I miss hearing about the accident? Was I that oblivious to what was going on? I wanted to tell her now how sorry I was to hear of her loss, but it's been several months. Maybe she doesn't want to be reminded of her pain. And after all, we don't know each other. I don't want to cause her any additional pain. I guess I can just remember her in my prayers.
      While wondering about that tragedy, I went to another blog. Mostly to see if it had been updated. The last time it had a new entry was in September. Still no new posts, but I noticed that the last post had several new comments. I had read the old ones before. I opened the comments page and scrolled down to the end to read that the blogger had passed away in November. He caught pneumonia, went into the hospital, and then picked up secondary infections while he was there. He slipped into a coma and never woke up. His blog will continue, I guess, unless Blogger finally decides to do away with it. Until then, his blog remains, a memorial of sorts in cyberspace, a remembrance of what he thought and wrote as ephemeral and fleeting as our lives are but still making an impact on those who surf by.
      If you're expecting a conclusion to this, some grand sweeping statement, sorry. I don't have one beyond the banal and obvious: Life is short. We never know what tomorrow will bring. Today is the first day of the rest of your life ...
      It just makes me think. Uncomfortable thoughts. The ones I push to the dark corners of my mind. I see them, but I steadfastly ignore them, concentrating on what I have to do to get through another day. But they're still lurking, their eyes gleaming yellow. Hear that faint noise? The click of tiny claws. The rustle of paper. Sometimes, just sometimes, when your mind is quiet, when you don't expect it, you feel their hot breath on the back of your neck.

9 comments:

Trixie said...

Tech, I hear the claws and the rustle of papers too. Then I put out more D-Con.

But seriously, I don't think it would be out of line to contact the blogger who lost her husband to express your condolences. She hasn't forgotten, trust me.

Sometimes, especially in the past year, I wonder how long it would be before anyone noticed if I were to pass away in my sleep. I had an aunt who was a hermit, and she had died months before anyone in the family was notified. But that's another long story.

Michelle said...

The blogging world is an interesting one. One that I have come to thoroughly enjoy, but yet it has it's moments just like real time life. I read some that I feel so connected to, understand and relate with, but what if something were to happen to them? And they were just gone? How would I know? Does it matter that I know since I do not know them face to face? It feels as if it does.

I have a couple of blogs, that have just dissappeared. No explanation, no reason given for their removal. It feels like a loss and I am left wondering about this person that left a mark on my heart and mind.

Slim said...

As I read this, particularly the last paragraph, the hairs on the back of my neck rose.

Sometimes I feel like there's something dark swirling around you, Tech. Like a cloud. It's scary.

You be careful out there, OK?

Linda said...

June will be Ok with you contacting her to extend your condolences, Tech. :)

Linda

Jean said...

Tech,

I don't think June (presuming I'm thinking of the same person as you) would be bothered if you contacted her to express your condolences on her loss. I'm sure it isn't easy for her, but she seems to be doing well.

Erudite Redneck said...

Well, I dreamed last night that demons -- that's overstating it ... imps -- were out to do me harm. Awoke with a start. Had to turn on the TV to shake the heebie-jeebies.

"How do you know demons weren't really out to get you, ER?"

Well, I don't. But the little bastages and their boss are defeated, and they only have as much power as I let 'em have. If they were after me, the fact that they tried to sneak in while i was asleep tells me something:

They're chickens---s. Weasels. Pbbtht on 'em.

:-)

Trixie said...

Tech, I've been thinking about you and hope that this morning things are more comfortable for you. (I started to say I hope things are more comfortable inside your skin, but honestly I don't think you want things inside your skin, comfortable or not...)

Anyway, I hope you are getting some of the rain so it can wash away some of the dust.

Unknown said...

Catching up is always a surprise both good and ill.

Michelle said...

Hummm...

Working on a list of stuff?

Sad?

Need the company of a sexy, smart yet somewhat squishy Friend?

Feeling under the weather?

Want some soup?

:P