A day like today

      I was reading Downtown Guy today and discovered that I had been nominated for an award! I or rather 51313 Harbor Street has been nominated in the Best Writing Blog category in the OkieDokie awards. I didn't even know the awards existed. Probably everyone else did, and I'm just behind the curve. I stay behind everyone else, but just remember as you walk in front of me that I'm giving your figure the once-over ... and leering.
      Anyway, the nomination was a nice surprise, and I appreciate whoever did the nominating. Thank you. I would send you money, but I realize that is too crass for someone of your discriminating taste. I'll make a donation to a museum in your honor. Someday.
      I needed a nice surprise today as work was particularly grueling. It started with a customer yelling at me and ended with a different customer yelling at me. There's a symmetry in that, but somehow it's not the Zen feeling you might suppose. If you suppose such things, and if you do, then I wonder about you and all the time you have on your hands. Maybe you need a job. Take mine.
      It's always interesting to me -- well, not really, but curious nonetheless -- when a customer begins with yelling. It basically leaves them nowhere else to go unless they resort to violence, which so far, thank God, none of them have. It's better to start out reasonable and calm, and then later go into your impression of Jack Nichelson in The Shining. More effective that way.
      Another curious thing to me are the customers who threaten my company with a lawyer. I actually like it when bad customers get a lawyer because then it goes to our legal department and I can no longer speak with them. Unfortunately a lot of them just threaten even though I anonymously mail them the membership list of the Bar Association. More people need to follow through on their word these days. Particularly Congress.
      I happen to like lawyers, which is odd, I know, but I think everyone should have a lawyer of their own. Properly prepared by a skilled taxidermist, a lawyer makes a good coat rack or hitching post (if you have horses or a more active dating life than I want to hear about).
      Just kidding! I love all people, including lawyers. One of my best friends is a lawyer, and someday I'll have him over for dinner when I move out of this restricted neighborhood. Or maybe I'll just give him a gift certificate for Wendys.
      As you can tell by the babbling, it's been a long day. And on a day like today, I like to gather my friends together and head off to the islands for a frolic in the sun and surf. Wouldn't that be nice. Ain't going to happen any time soon, but we can imagine. As I see it, the beach is long and curved and has white sand. A cool ocean breeze refreshes us as we sit in loungers under huge umbrellas and sip drinks in coconuts brought to us by half-naked waitresses ... Sigh. Someday, my friends, someday. But until then, have a good night and a good tomorrow. I'm rooting for ya!