Tuesday, August 10, 2004

     I had lunch today with Mendie. She's probably my best female friend. I trust her. She's hates mind games and lies. She's bright and funny. She also has the worst taste in men. Or perhaps taste isn't the word. Attraction. She's attracted to the wrong guys. We get together and compare notes on our various romantic mishaps.
     Today we discussed a long-time crush of mine who was playing another one of her tired now-you-see-me-now-you-don't games. She plays them all the time, and the only thing unexpected about them now is when she will do it and how long. She goes around with her feelings out, and as soon as anyone looks at her the wrong way, she disappears for a while. Mendie told me that I should be walk away from "the lying self-important untalented lazy cow." (Mendie doesn't much care for her.)
     Then we talked about Mendie's latest disaster. A guy that chases, chases, chases until she gives him what he wants, and then she doesn't see him until he wants it again. She knows she should never see him again. H will never make a place for her in his life. In fact, in between times, he sees other women. Mendie has seen him with the other women at various restaurants and clubs. He never even looks embarrassed. As sure as gravity, Mendie knows they have no future. I told her she should be done with "the amoral weasel jerkfaced pig." (I don't much care for him.)
     Of course, we both made noises like we would do just that. We'd walk away. Change our phone numbers. Block our email addresses. Return the snail mail marked 'Refused.' We make these noises a lot.
     But then Mendie changed the conversation when she turned to me and said, "Why don't we fall in love?"
     I blinked.
     "No, I don't mean we should," she said. "I mean, we should, but we don't. Why can't we for once use our heads? You're bright and funny and devoted and cute. You send cards, give flowers, remember birthdays. Why can't I fall in love with you?"
     I looked at her for a moment. "And you're smart and witty and kind. You read books and care about literature and the environment and let's not forget that you have wonderful legs and a great smile. Why can't I fall in love with you?"
     We stared at each other.
     Then she leaned over, hugged me and kissed my cheek. "Because we're idiots, baby. We're just plain stupid."
     We laughed, although later after we thought about it, it didn't seem that funny.

Copyright 2004. All rights reserved.


Joel said...

No chemistry?

Gloria Williams said...

I've been in this situation myself. I find the guy who should be perfect for me and no spark. I find some hounddog and whoa it's a raging forest fire that threatens three counties. Our hearts have their own plans.

Trixie said...

The heart wants what the heart wants, doesn't it? It's a pity we mortals can't talk common sense to our hearts and convince them to do the "smart" thing.

Or maybe it's a blessing that we have yet to recognize.

In any case, you aren't the only ones. I do believe this is the universal human condition. But it is cured the day the heart finds what it has sought all along.

Sometimes it really stinks, and I think secretly we all wish we could fix up "the lying self-important untalented lazy cow" with "the amoral weasel jerkfaced pig." I think I still have his number.

Anonymous said...

I knew where this was going before I finished the post, isn't it typical. I think we are all attracted to a certain type, thank God my type wasn't the "the amoral weasel jerkfaced pig." I am soooooo glad I am not in the dating circle. I have a lot of friends, male and female going thru the same thing as you. Just keep looking, both of you, don't try to make it work if there is no attraction, it may end in disaster. Love will hit you like a ton of brick when it's supposed to. You have to be right with God first remember. Not that you aren't a good person now, but give it up to God. Like Trixie"s friend. susan2