Uncertainty

Whoa. Bad day today. Computer is mostly working, but I'm not. Wore myself out and can barely get up and around. Have more programs to install and more updates and drivers. Still haven't installed my printer yet. Will do so in a few minutes. Once I get that done and install a couple more programs, I may be in a place to start work again. I'll be glad when that happens. Or as glad as I can feel while fighting sleep and anxiety.

The thing about any computer system failure is that you're never sure exactly what happened. In this case, it seems to be the operating system crashed and the hardware is okay, but you never really know. I might do all this work, and the system crashes tomorrow or sooner. Every time I've had to restart the desktop, I've held my breath, waiting for that dreaded blue screen. It's uncertain.

I'm sure if I wasn't so tired, I could make that into a metaphor for life: It's uncertain. You can work as hard as you can, do everything right, but the universe remains out of our control. A friend of mine calls it the get-hit-by-a-bus syndrome. He's always been afraid of being too happy because he says if he achieves everything he wants, he will probably step out of his house and get hit by a bus. Yeah, he's a real joy to be around.

But I'm too tired to make any grand statements about life. Things happen. We respond according to our abilities and gifts. Sometimes we do well; sometime we don't. You can drive yourself crazy thinking about mistakes and missteps. Gotta to move beyond that and keep going. I do believe movement counts. "Don't just sit there; do something" is often the best advice. At the very least, you will present a moving target for you foes. And there's a lot to be said for that.

But not by me. At least not today. I need another nap.