Some thoughts on pain and weight loss

      Now and then you'll hear on the news of some celebrity who's become addicted to pain pills. Almost always the story will say that the addiction happened after a back injury. Listen, I understand. These past few days have been painful. On a scale from 1 to 10, the pain has been about a 33. I've survived from one dose of pain medication to another. Today is the first day since Wednesday that I've been able to actually move around a bit. Not much and I have to use my cane or the walker, but at least I can drag myself from room to room. So I think that means I'm healing.
      Several years back I hurt my back so bad that I ended up in a wheelchair for a couple of weeks. When I return to work tomorrow, I'll be back in that wheelchair. It's mostly so that my back has support while I work. I'm hoping that it goes okay. I've already missed three days of work over this. I don't want to miss any more.
      I've been working on the play as much as I can, but now I'm behind on my schedule. I have auditions next Monday and Tuesday night, and we'll either start rehearsals on Wednesday or on Monday, September 25. It depends on how my back is doing.
      I've went on the SlimFast diet. So far so good. I've lost four pounds, and that's while I've not been able to do anything remotely resembling exercise. I'm hoping as I heal that the weight loss will pick up. Years ago, I lost 35 pounds with SlimFast, and did it in about three months. I'm hoping for something approaching that now. SlimFast isn't a bad way to lose weight, but I've certainly noticed being hunger. But not starving, if you know the difference. It's just a steady hum of hunger. It would be easy to ignore if I'd been able to do some things instead of just waiting for my back to allow me to move again.
      I think I've come to this realization about dieting for me: I'm just going to have to get used to being hungry for a while. Yes, I know all those diet gurus and web sites proclaim that you can lose weight and never be hungry, but so far, I haven't found that to be true. I think, for me, hunger is going to be the price I pay to be healthy -- at least until my body gets used to the new caloric intake. And I'm okay with paying that price. Let's face it: I'm not getting any younger, and the longer I wait to lose this weight, the harder it will become. I have some customers at work who are in their 50s and 60s and who are obese, and they have miserable lives. It's interesting that I can't think of a single customer I have who's obese and in their 70s or 80s.
      So I'm going to be hungry for a while. And that's okay. I know I will have cravings for a while -- I've been craving KFC fried chicken and mashed potatoes all day -- but I'm in charge of this body here, and I'm going to decide to be thin and healthy.
      I'm doing this for me, by the way. I've also come to realize that when I lose weight, I won't suddenly become Brad Pitt. I'm still going to be me. I don't know why that thought seems to be significant, but it does. Maybe ... just maybe ... when I tried to lose weight before, I was doing for the wrong reasons. Trying to become something that I never was. That time has passed. It's time for me to do this for me. I want to be thin, healthy and more active. I have things to do, and I need a healthy body to do those things.
      I've been working on this post all day. Just writing bits of it as long as my back let me. And now I need to close and get ready for bed. Take another pain pill, and get myself situated on the heating pad. And that's the news from my little part of the world. Good night.