A rose by any other name I'd forget

       "What's in a name?" Shakespeare asked in Romeo and Juliet. "That which we call a rose by any other word would smell as sweet." Maybe so, but if it did have another name, I doubt I could remember it. I have a terrible time remembering names. Let me give you an example.
      Recently a man approached me at a restaurant. After making sure he wasn't serving me another protective order, I shook his hand.
      "Hello, it's good to see you," he said heartily. I replied, and we spoke for a few minutes with him asking about my job, my work with the theater group, my friends and my family.
      He left to take a seat after we decided we needed to get together soon for a real visit. I still don't know who he was. His face looked familiar, but I couldn't recall his name. I'd like to blame this on age, but the truth is I've never been good at remembering people's names. I'm introduced, and their names just flow right on by, like our tax money through a Congressman's hand.
      I've worked at remembering names. I tried those association tricks you're supposed to do. Like, if a guy is named Bob White, you're supposed to link his face with the mental image of the bird bobwhite. But when I meet the guy again, I can only vaguely recall he's named for a bird. Or maybe that's his wife.
      And what do you do with a name like Andrew Simmons? I can't think of any association to go with it. This is why I always look distracted when I meet people. I'm wondering, Do I know them? Do they know me? Have we met? Is there anything to eat? I'm thirsty, too. Why am I here? My feet hurt. Who is this guy and why is he talking to me?
      And then the person I'm talking to you finally gives me a clue as to his/her identity, and I realize that it's my doctor or the girl I dated for six months or my current parole officer. So I remember him or her, but still not the name.
      I read in a book that you can sneakily get them to tell you their name by saying something like, "Say, I was wondering what nationality your name is. How do you spell it again?" Unfortunately I seem to run into too many Smiths and Jones. After someone spells J-O-N-E-S to you, the only thing to do is to set fire to the place as a distraction. At least that's what I do. Your mileage may vary.
      Not remembering names is a problem I have at work. I see a lot of people daily. Some of them I remember, but most I do not. Naturally they remember me. After all, I'm always at the office behind that desk and so they have something to jog their memory. And let's not forget how devastatingly handsome I am. I sure that helps them, too.
      That's why I'm great supporter for name tags/badges. Admittedly there's those awkward moments when you’re staring at their chest trying to make out what their name is, but after that, it's clear sailing.
      Badges can be tricky, though. A friend of mine went to a business meeting and was talking to an older woman. He kept trying to read her badge and then realized it was upside down. Without thinking about it, he reached out and swiveled it right side up. Then he realized the room had got quiet. He also realized where his hand was. And if that wasn't awkward enough, the woman's husband had entered the room just then.
      Things were a bit tense after that, my friend told me, but luckily a fire broke out and distracted everyone.

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