I didn't get all the items done on my weekend list. I got most of them crossed off, but several linger. Part of the reason I didn't them all finished is that I helped a friend clean his daughter's house Sunday afternoon. There's a long story on why that happened, but as I washed dishes over there, I thought about service.
Service has to be its own reward. It has to be done without regard to what thanks you might receive or what goodwill you might build for the future. It's an act of giving. It's human to expect the receiver to be grateful for your service, but if you do service expecting that gratitude, then it's not really a gift. It's an exchange.
All of us like to recognized for our giving. And it's nice when we are. But I think the essence of loving our fellow humans is giving without regard to how we benefit. Giving unselfishly.
That's hard to do. Or perhaps you find it easy, but I find it hard. I want that thanks. I want that gratitude. I want those future returned favors. I need to learn how to give, not exchange. That's probably part of the reason that God saw fit to lead me to help my friend.
At least that's what I thought, elbow deep in hot, soapy water, on Sunday afternoon.
10 comments:
Oh Tech, I understand. There are two points of view dueling in my head about such situations. On one hand, there have been times I've gone to extreme measures to do a good deed without being found out. Those, of course, I can't talk about other than to say it involved some personal sacrifice and great effort to avoid being found out.
On the other hand are those daily good deeds that are not necessarily done in secret. You do it out of servitude and kind-heartedness. You do it because someone needs what you can do. In those cases, you're still doing it for the right reasons. But reciprocated gratitude is NICE. A simple "thank you" for washing someone's dishes may not be too much to expect.
If it's any consolation, just remember a man with dishpan hands is very, very sexy. Am I right, ladies???
Trixie is right! :)
I struggle the same as you, Tech. There are so many needs in my community, but most of the time I go home and watch TV. But I know God wants me to do more. And I'm going to try to do more.
I agree with you, both that serving others when they need something you can give is important and that thanks shouldn't be a necessary part of that serving. But thanks sure is a nice gift, when it comes. :)
Linda
I really love doing for others, whether they know about it or not. I really should do it more.
There have been instances where I thought I got away with the secret part of it, and somehow they found out it was me. Hmmph. It kind of took away the "gift" part of it. My issue lies with someone doing something for me. Being able to accept it without thinking of what I needed to do or could do in return.
But I understand too, the way it feels to receive thanks and appreciation. We all need that at times. Perhaps, a confirmation of our value.
At any rate, you did a good thing.
And yes, you are right Trixie.
It is Biblical to serve without expecting a reward. Jesus said, let not your right hand know what the left hand is doing, for greater is your reward in Heaven.(my paraphrase) Great is the rewarding feeling of a good deed, too.
Michelle, one gift you give other people is allowing them to help you. We get all weird about accepting help, but how do we serve others if they won't accept the help they need?
That's my philosophy about gift-giving, too. I don't get embarassed about getting gifts. I watch the excitement in their eyes as I open the gift and the satisfaction that follows when I tell them how much I love their gift.
I think it's a matter of seeing more than one perspective. :)
Linda
Y'all have such good perspectives on things. It's one of the reasons I blog -- to hear what you have to say. There's a lot of wisdom in the folks that comment here. It's major cool.
I agree Mama Rose.
By the way, my friend was very grateful. I don't want to give the impression that he was the one I was talking about.
Saying Thank You is a dying thing. Simple courtesy would improve this world a lot.
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