Blood sugar in the high 100s. Much better, but I still have a way to go. Need to be in the lower 100s. It got down to 154 Sunday, but that's as low as I've got so far. I miss French Fries. I miss Dr Pepper. Why does health have to have a price, too? Yes, I'm whining alot. Sigh.
No, I'm doing okay. I feel crappy because my body is adjusting to the lower blood sugar so there will be a few more days of this general malaise as my blood sugar continues to drop. Been through this before.
Did get my Christmas tree up this weekend. Bought a smaller one at Home Depot. It was pre-lit and a breeze to put together. I'll try to post a pic of it. Nothing fancy, but a nice tree. I have a few decorations to put up around the house and a few lights for outside, but other than setting up my Christmas village, that's going to be it. I'm going to try to concentrate more on the inner joy and less on the externals this year. We'll see how that goes.
I'm going to spend Thanksgiving with friends. Already made plans. Have decided I'm tired of spending it alone. For years people have invited me to share their table at various holidays, but I've chosen to stay home and watch TV and feel lonely because I didn't have a family. I'm done with that. Now you invite me at your peril. I will show up.
I'm off work Friday! Woohoo! Going to spend it working on Christmas cards, the November family newsletter, and playing World of Warcraft. Also, there's this Ghosts story that needs my attention. I think I finally figured out what's really going on in the small town of Clement.
Anyway, I'm eating right, walking daily, praying more, trying to be more like the person I think I am -- if that makes sense. And even if it doesn't, thank you for your prayers, support, friendship ... and let's not forget ... the nagging!
I hope you're having a great day. Talk to you tomorrow.
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Monday, November 23, 2009
Thursday, November 19, 2009
The day after
My blood sugar this morning before breakfast was 266. But last night before bed, it was 215. I don't understand. I had two salads yesterday and enjoyed them. I walked 17 minutes one time and 15 minutes another. Today I will have salad again for lunch and tonight a sautéed fish fillet with a side of broccoli and green beans. Looking forward to that.
My blood sugar has always been high in the morning. It's lowest later in the evening. Don't know why.
Will be joining a gym again this evening. Should have never let that membership lapse. I did it to save money and time. But apparently at the expense of damaging my health. Bad thinking.
My 90 day plan is already going on. It's low carb all the way. I will probably cheat somewhere in there, but I sure don't intend to. Wouldn't it be cool if I was thin again? Or thinner? It's hard for me to imagine after all these years of carrying this weight.
Anyway, I appreciate your prayers and support. Know that I'm going to do my part. Feel free to nag me! I'll try to remember that you're doing it because you care about me. Yes, you heard me right, Trixie, Adam, Kyra, Eric, Gail, EJ, Jolene, Sara, Kevin, Kent, Todd, Marie, etc. You're free to nag me. But only on this subject!
Have a wonderful day. I hope things are going well for you. Talk to you later.
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My blood sugar has always been high in the morning. It's lowest later in the evening. Don't know why.
Will be joining a gym again this evening. Should have never let that membership lapse. I did it to save money and time. But apparently at the expense of damaging my health. Bad thinking.
My 90 day plan is already going on. It's low carb all the way. I will probably cheat somewhere in there, but I sure don't intend to. Wouldn't it be cool if I was thin again? Or thinner? It's hard for me to imagine after all these years of carrying this weight.
Anyway, I appreciate your prayers and support. Know that I'm going to do my part. Feel free to nag me! I'll try to remember that you're doing it because you care about me. Yes, you heard me right, Trixie, Adam, Kyra, Eric, Gail, EJ, Jolene, Sara, Kevin, Kent, Todd, Marie, etc. You're free to nag me. But only on this subject!
Have a wonderful day. I hope things are going well for you. Talk to you later.
Order Murder by the Acre in softcover from Amazon.com.
Order Murder by the Acre in softcover from Barnes & Noble.com
Order Murder by the Acre in softcover from Lulu.com.
Order Murder by the Acre in hardcover only at from Lulu.com.
Order MBTA & MBDD items and more at Oakleaf
Wednesday, November 18, 2009
Anatomy of a 483
Yesterday, my blood sugar soared to 483. To help you put that in perspective if you’re unfamiliar with blood sugar levels, the healthy range is below 100. At the beginning of August, my blood sugar averaged in the low 100’s. What happened between August and now?
Several things, all of which are my fault. I made bad choices.
First, I dropped my membership to a local gym. I was only using it to walk, anyway, so I thought I could simply walk around the neighborhood and avoid the fee. I did avoid the fee, but I didn’t walk. And now I will be starting walking again tonight.
Second, I let soft drinks, particularly Dr Pepper drift back into my life. One or two occasionally wouldn’t hurt. Except it became one or two a day and then three or four a day. And now I will be drinking none again.
Third – and this is one that I didn’t have a lot of control over – my job situation changed drastically and then changed drastically again. This created a lot of stress and pressure, and instead of dealing with the stress actively, I chose TV and food. And now I’m going to be attempting to meditate, pray more, and practice other stress reduction choices.
Fourth, I made bad food choices. I had been attempting to eat one or two salads a day. That changed to one or no salad a day, and then no salad. I had a salad last night and will have salad today. Mostly I will be working on reducing my carbs. Farewell bread and sugar. Hello and welcome back, veggies and lean meat.
Fifth, even though a few of my friends expressed concern at my ways, I ignored them or overwhelmed their objections. Sorry. I’ll try not to be so bullheaded in the future.
Sixth, I had taken myself off diabetes medication because my blood sugar was doing so well. And if I had continued to watch my diet, to exercise, to get enough rest, that might have been fine. But since I didn’t, things got worse. I have to talk to my doctor on this one, but I would like to go back on oral meds, if possible, and if I haven’t done any permanent damage.
Seventh, I stopped daily testing. Money is, of course, tight, and I thought I would switch to weekly, but from weekly, it was too easy to simply drop it. Back to testing at least three times a day.
Eighth, I forgot that now and forever – unless there’s a cure someday – I am a diabetic. And diabetes is a progressive disease. I needed to be – and intend to be – fighting it each and every day. There in was the problem. I can’t beat diabetes. I can only fight it to a standstill or even make it back up some, but there will never a complete victory until there’s a cure. I have to steel myself up for the never ending battle.
I take full responsibility for my mistakes. I will also take full responsibility for fixing them. I appreciate your prayers, nagging, support, concern, tips, and friendship as I reengage the enemy. My blood sugar this morning before breakfast was 234.
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Several things, all of which are my fault. I made bad choices.
First, I dropped my membership to a local gym. I was only using it to walk, anyway, so I thought I could simply walk around the neighborhood and avoid the fee. I did avoid the fee, but I didn’t walk. And now I will be starting walking again tonight.
Second, I let soft drinks, particularly Dr Pepper drift back into my life. One or two occasionally wouldn’t hurt. Except it became one or two a day and then three or four a day. And now I will be drinking none again.
Third – and this is one that I didn’t have a lot of control over – my job situation changed drastically and then changed drastically again. This created a lot of stress and pressure, and instead of dealing with the stress actively, I chose TV and food. And now I’m going to be attempting to meditate, pray more, and practice other stress reduction choices.
Fourth, I made bad food choices. I had been attempting to eat one or two salads a day. That changed to one or no salad a day, and then no salad. I had a salad last night and will have salad today. Mostly I will be working on reducing my carbs. Farewell bread and sugar. Hello and welcome back, veggies and lean meat.
Fifth, even though a few of my friends expressed concern at my ways, I ignored them or overwhelmed their objections. Sorry. I’ll try not to be so bullheaded in the future.
Sixth, I had taken myself off diabetes medication because my blood sugar was doing so well. And if I had continued to watch my diet, to exercise, to get enough rest, that might have been fine. But since I didn’t, things got worse. I have to talk to my doctor on this one, but I would like to go back on oral meds, if possible, and if I haven’t done any permanent damage.
Seventh, I stopped daily testing. Money is, of course, tight, and I thought I would switch to weekly, but from weekly, it was too easy to simply drop it. Back to testing at least three times a day.
Eighth, I forgot that now and forever – unless there’s a cure someday – I am a diabetic. And diabetes is a progressive disease. I needed to be – and intend to be – fighting it each and every day. There in was the problem. I can’t beat diabetes. I can only fight it to a standstill or even make it back up some, but there will never a complete victory until there’s a cure. I have to steel myself up for the never ending battle.
I take full responsibility for my mistakes. I will also take full responsibility for fixing them. I appreciate your prayers, nagging, support, concern, tips, and friendship as I reengage the enemy. My blood sugar this morning before breakfast was 234.
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Order Murder by the Acre in hardcover only at from Lulu.com.
Order MBTA & MBDD items and more at Oakleaf
Monday, November 16, 2009
There goes my head
A very pressure filled day at work today. So much so that I thought my head was going to pop off. Oops, there it goes! Go head go! Be free! Seek a new place, a better place, a place where you can be free! Where life has meaning and the day is filled with good surprises and wondrous events! It's out there somewhere! Go!
Can't you just see it? It's using my ears as little wings, flittering there and here, then and now! See it soar into the sky!
But don't forget to come back and get me. You'd miss me. Eventually.
And on that note, good night.
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Can't you just see it? It's using my ears as little wings, flittering there and here, then and now! See it soar into the sky!
But don't forget to come back and get me. You'd miss me. Eventually.
And on that note, good night.
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Saturday, November 14, 2009
Victories! And a defeat.
OSU won! OU won! It's amazing how good that makes me feel, although I know I had nothing to do with outcome. Oh, I yelled instructions at the TV screen, but they couldn't hear me.
Could they?
I had a busy day tonight. Mostly cleaning house, laundry, and other chores. I was quite productive. Notice I didn't mention NaNo? That's because I have officially withdrawn from National Novel Writing Month. I'm too far behind on my wordage. Ghosts simply didn't have enough story ready when I needed it. Not that I'm blaming the story, but rather my lack of preparation. I needed to work more on my outline. Well, I'll do better next year.
I haven't given up on Ghosts. I like the story and will finish it. Probably by January if I can maintain my current rate of wordage.
For the NaNoers who are continuing on, I raise my glass! I won't be with you this year at the finish line, but I will be next year. See you then.
And now good night!
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Could they?
I had a busy day tonight. Mostly cleaning house, laundry, and other chores. I was quite productive. Notice I didn't mention NaNo? That's because I have officially withdrawn from National Novel Writing Month. I'm too far behind on my wordage. Ghosts simply didn't have enough story ready when I needed it. Not that I'm blaming the story, but rather my lack of preparation. I needed to work more on my outline. Well, I'll do better next year.
I haven't given up on Ghosts. I like the story and will finish it. Probably by January if I can maintain my current rate of wordage.
For the NaNoers who are continuing on, I raise my glass! I won't be with you this year at the finish line, but I will be next year. See you then.
And now good night!
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Order Murder by the Acre in softcover from Lulu.com.
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Order MBTA & MBDD items and more at Oakleaf
Friday, November 13, 2009
How to become a millionarie
Lately I’ve been reading a bunch of books that say having a job is the slowest way to get wealthy. The authors say having a job is only one step up from being a slave, although they reluctantly concede that a job is better than starving to death and being given daily whippings by overseers — but not by much.
They haven’t had a job in years. Why, the mere idea of physical labor makes them faint. They say they make their money now by helping other people free themselves from the burden of jobs. They’re always careful to tell you that they used their ideas to free themselves and aren’t just living on selling books to gullible people, which is what a reasonable person might suppose. No, they have multiple streams of income.
Multiple streams of income? You know, income from their rent houses, income from their stocks and bonds, income from their multi-level marketing programs, and, let’s not forget, that helpful monthly dividend from the trust fund left to them by their rich aunt.
These multiple streams of income allow them to dispense with having anything as endlessly mundane as a job. They say they want everyone to have that freedom, but I doubt that. Where would they get their gardeners, cooks, maids, and other useful low income folks?
My favorite author is David Bach because he is so relentlessly upbeat. I imagine he makes people tired by his endless energy. He shouts all the time. He wants YOU to be RICH and he wants YOU to START NOW! NOW!!! DO YOU HEAR THAT?! NOW!!!
Here are some of his book titles: Start late, Finish Rich; Smart Couples Finish Rich; Smart Women Finish Rich; The Automatic Millionaire; and so on. David thinks EVERYONE should be rich when they die. And David actually gives excellent advice that – barring an asteroid from space or Congress fixing it so that our taxes actually exceed our income – will make you a millionaire.
Here, I will save you the cost of a few books and present David's secret here: Invest money monthly in a compound interest account when you are young, and when you are ready to retire, more than million dollars will be there waiting for you. (By that time, though, milk will cost $123 a gallon and gasoline will be approximately $345.67 per pint. A million won’t go as far as you think.)
However, since David didn’t start writing his books until a few years ago, his advice isn’t helpful to me unless I can greatly increase my monthly investment. We’re talking organ selling amounts. I have all my organs, and I intend to keep them. I’m funny that way. But ... do you have any spares I could have?
Copyright 2009 by Stephen B. Bagley. All rights reserved.
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They haven’t had a job in years. Why, the mere idea of physical labor makes them faint. They say they make their money now by helping other people free themselves from the burden of jobs. They’re always careful to tell you that they used their ideas to free themselves and aren’t just living on selling books to gullible people, which is what a reasonable person might suppose. No, they have multiple streams of income.
Multiple streams of income? You know, income from their rent houses, income from their stocks and bonds, income from their multi-level marketing programs, and, let’s not forget, that helpful monthly dividend from the trust fund left to them by their rich aunt.
These multiple streams of income allow them to dispense with having anything as endlessly mundane as a job. They say they want everyone to have that freedom, but I doubt that. Where would they get their gardeners, cooks, maids, and other useful low income folks?
My favorite author is David Bach because he is so relentlessly upbeat. I imagine he makes people tired by his endless energy. He shouts all the time. He wants YOU to be RICH and he wants YOU to START NOW! NOW!!! DO YOU HEAR THAT?! NOW!!!
Here are some of his book titles: Start late, Finish Rich; Smart Couples Finish Rich; Smart Women Finish Rich; The Automatic Millionaire; and so on. David thinks EVERYONE should be rich when they die. And David actually gives excellent advice that – barring an asteroid from space or Congress fixing it so that our taxes actually exceed our income – will make you a millionaire.
Here, I will save you the cost of a few books and present David's secret here: Invest money monthly in a compound interest account when you are young, and when you are ready to retire, more than million dollars will be there waiting for you. (By that time, though, milk will cost $123 a gallon and gasoline will be approximately $345.67 per pint. A million won’t go as far as you think.)
However, since David didn’t start writing his books until a few years ago, his advice isn’t helpful to me unless I can greatly increase my monthly investment. We’re talking organ selling amounts. I have all my organs, and I intend to keep them. I’m funny that way. But ... do you have any spares I could have?
Copyright 2009 by Stephen B. Bagley. All rights reserved.
Order Murder by the Acre in softcover from Amazon.com.
Order Murder by the Acre in softcover from Barnes & Noble.com
Order Murder by the Acre in softcover from Lulu.com.
Order Murder by the Acre in hardcover only at from Lulu.com.
Order MBTA & MBDD items and more at Oakleaf
Thursday, November 12, 2009
What if
"If Today Was Your Last Day"
My best friend gave me the best advice
He said each day's a gift and not a given right
Leave no stone unturned, leave your fears behind
And try to take the path less traveled by
That first step you take is the longest stride
If today was your last day
And tomorrow was too late
Could you say goodbye to yesterday?
Would you live each moment like your last?
Leave old pictures in the past
Donate every dime you have?
If today was your last day
Against the grain should be a way of life
What's worth the prize is always worth the fight
Every second counts 'cause there's no second try
So live like you'll never live it twice
Don't take the free ride in your own life
If today was your last day
And tomorrow was too late
Could you say goodbye to yesterday?
Would you live each moment like your last?
Leave old pictures in the past
Donate every dime you have?
Would you call old friends you never see?
Reminisce old memories
Would you forgive your enemies?
Would you find that one you're dreamin' of?
Swear up and down to God above
That you finally fall in love
If today was your last day
If today was your last day
Would you make your mark by mending a broken heart?
You know it's never too late to shoot for the stars
Regardless of who you are
So do whatever it takes
'Cause you can't rewind a moment in this life
Let nothin' stand in your way
Cause the hands of time are never on your side
If today was your last day
And tomorrow was too late
Could you say goodbye to yesterday?
Would you live each moment like your last?
Leave old pictures in the past
Donate every dime you have?
Would you call old friends you never see?
Reminisce old memories
Would you forgive your enemies?
Would you find that one you're dreamin' of?
Swear up and down to God above
That you finally fall in love
If today was your last day
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Wednesday, November 11, 2009
Q&A about Blastoff
I've mentioned the Blastoff Network here a few times. I've had several questions about it so I thought I'd answer them all together.
What is Blastoff?
It is an entertainment, information, and shopping network online. When you sign up, you are given a home page that you personalize with feeds from various news outlets and entertainment companies. For instance, you can — with one click — add a feed from Fox News. Or CNN news or any of the other news sites on the web. You can also add feeds from YouTube or Hulu or other video sites. And finally it offers you the Blastoff Mall where you can shop at over 400 companies, including Target, Sears, Macy’s, Old Navy, K-Mart, Starbucks, Priceline, Best Buy, BooksAMillion, etc.
What’s the advantage of using Blastoff instead of simply going to the companies websites directly?
If you use Blastoff, you actually do shop directly at those companies’ websites, but by using the Mall to reach them, you can receive up to 15% in cash back or discounts. And you do nothing to receive those rewards, except go to the Mall first and click on the company you want to shop it.
How does Blastoff make its money?
Those companies pay Blastoff to send them customers.
So it’s really free?
Completely and totally.You don’t even have to shop if you don’t want to. You can just use Blastoff for info and entertainment.
Does it offer games? (Okay, I added this question myself.) Yes, a bunch of free ones. I can’t tell you much about them because I haven’t played them, but I’m told you can waste hours and hours playing everything they offer. Have fun, and don’t do it at work.
What about junk mail or spam?
I’ve been signed up on Blastoff since it opened its electronic doors, and I’ve received two pieces of email from them. One confirming my email address and one welcoming me to the network. That’s it.
What does it take to sign up?
Your name, your email address (it has to be valid because they’re going to send you an email address confirming your account that you have respond to or your account is suspended), and your birth date (or a fake one). No credit card, no mailing address, that’s it. It takes about a minute.
Is it multi-level marketing?
Sort of. Blastoff makes its money by convincing companies that it can expose their products to a large number of people. So Blastoff wants a lot of people to sign up. Every person who goes to your page and signs up becomes part of your network. If they shop online through Blastoff, you receive a tiny percentage of what they pay. You receive that tiny percentage down 10 levels. Mind you, it won’t be enough to live on, but you can receive a monthly check every month, depending on how many people sign up and how much they shop online. However, you do nothing with your network. No sales talks, no accounting, no emails, nothing. Telling them about the network is all you do.
Do the discounts work at the physical stores themselves?
No, you have to shop online to receive the discounts.
The discounts sound too good to be true.
Well, all I can tell is that several of my friends have used them and received the discounts. My roomie was able to get a phone for free when the same phone would cost $50 at the AT&T Store. And another friend ordered from Target and received a discount and a cash back on his order. And because they're in my “network,” I have a bit of money in a pending status for me. (You have to reach a certain amount before they mail you a check. Otherwise, the money stays there until you do reach the limit. That's also the only time you will have give them personal info: When they need to send you a check. Then they will need your mailing address, accurate birth date, and social security number because they do have to report the income to the lovely IRS.)
How do I sign up?
You go to my.blastoffnetwork.com/stephenbagley. You can also call me, and I'll sign you up or walk you through it. It really does take only a minute or less, depending on your computer speed. After you’re signed up, you can immediately start tell others to sign up in your “network” and start collecting your tiny percentage of their online shopping. (Your home page will be normally be my.blastoffnetwork.com/yourname, but you can pick something else besides your name to call your site.)
Still sounds too good to be true.
So far I haven’t found the “catch,” and I’ve been looking really hard. There are plenty of other shopping networks besides Blastoff that use this model to build up number of users. They all doing well, even in this economy. I don’t think you can make a living off Blastoff — I may be wrong, but that’s what I think now — but I do know you can save some money and make a little money, too, without much effort. I think that’s a good thing. Thanks for reading, and if you have any other questions, let me know.
Talk to you tomorrow!
Order Murder by the Acre in softcover from Amazon.com.
Order Murder by the Acre in softcover from Barnes & Noble.com
Order Murder by the Acre in softcover from Lulu.com.
Order Murder by the Acre in hardcover only at from Lulu.com.
Order MBTA & MBDD items and more at Oakleaf
What is Blastoff?
It is an entertainment, information, and shopping network online. When you sign up, you are given a home page that you personalize with feeds from various news outlets and entertainment companies. For instance, you can — with one click — add a feed from Fox News. Or CNN news or any of the other news sites on the web. You can also add feeds from YouTube or Hulu or other video sites. And finally it offers you the Blastoff Mall where you can shop at over 400 companies, including Target, Sears, Macy’s, Old Navy, K-Mart, Starbucks, Priceline, Best Buy, BooksAMillion, etc.
What’s the advantage of using Blastoff instead of simply going to the companies websites directly?
If you use Blastoff, you actually do shop directly at those companies’ websites, but by using the Mall to reach them, you can receive up to 15% in cash back or discounts. And you do nothing to receive those rewards, except go to the Mall first and click on the company you want to shop it.
How does Blastoff make its money?
Those companies pay Blastoff to send them customers.
So it’s really free?
Completely and totally.You don’t even have to shop if you don’t want to. You can just use Blastoff for info and entertainment.
Does it offer games? (Okay, I added this question myself.) Yes, a bunch of free ones. I can’t tell you much about them because I haven’t played them, but I’m told you can waste hours and hours playing everything they offer. Have fun, and don’t do it at work.
What about junk mail or spam?
I’ve been signed up on Blastoff since it opened its electronic doors, and I’ve received two pieces of email from them. One confirming my email address and one welcoming me to the network. That’s it.
What does it take to sign up?
Your name, your email address (it has to be valid because they’re going to send you an email address confirming your account that you have respond to or your account is suspended), and your birth date (or a fake one). No credit card, no mailing address, that’s it. It takes about a minute.
Is it multi-level marketing?
Sort of. Blastoff makes its money by convincing companies that it can expose their products to a large number of people. So Blastoff wants a lot of people to sign up. Every person who goes to your page and signs up becomes part of your network. If they shop online through Blastoff, you receive a tiny percentage of what they pay. You receive that tiny percentage down 10 levels. Mind you, it won’t be enough to live on, but you can receive a monthly check every month, depending on how many people sign up and how much they shop online. However, you do nothing with your network. No sales talks, no accounting, no emails, nothing. Telling them about the network is all you do.
Do the discounts work at the physical stores themselves?
No, you have to shop online to receive the discounts.
The discounts sound too good to be true.
Well, all I can tell is that several of my friends have used them and received the discounts. My roomie was able to get a phone for free when the same phone would cost $50 at the AT&T Store. And another friend ordered from Target and received a discount and a cash back on his order. And because they're in my “network,” I have a bit of money in a pending status for me. (You have to reach a certain amount before they mail you a check. Otherwise, the money stays there until you do reach the limit. That's also the only time you will have give them personal info: When they need to send you a check. Then they will need your mailing address, accurate birth date, and social security number because they do have to report the income to the lovely IRS.)
How do I sign up?
You go to my.blastoffnetwork.com/stephenbagley. You can also call me, and I'll sign you up or walk you through it. It really does take only a minute or less, depending on your computer speed. After you’re signed up, you can immediately start tell others to sign up in your “network” and start collecting your tiny percentage of their online shopping. (Your home page will be normally be my.blastoffnetwork.com/yourname, but you can pick something else besides your name to call your site.)
Still sounds too good to be true.
So far I haven’t found the “catch,” and I’ve been looking really hard. There are plenty of other shopping networks besides Blastoff that use this model to build up number of users. They all doing well, even in this economy. I don’t think you can make a living off Blastoff — I may be wrong, but that’s what I think now — but I do know you can save some money and make a little money, too, without much effort. I think that’s a good thing. Thanks for reading, and if you have any other questions, let me know.
Talk to you tomorrow!
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Tuesday, November 10, 2009
Needy
I have discovered that I am needy.
Apparently, this is no surprise to anyone but me. I am going to have to evaluate my behavior accordingly. I didn't realize that I needed constant praise to write, to be productive, to publish my family newsletter, to write this blog, etc. But I do.
Sad, isn't it? I have finally stumbled on what's been keeping me from writing. My praise tanks are completely empty.
I've always admired those writers who got thousands of rejections and kept on going because their books burned inside them. They had to write or be consumed. Weirdly enough, I had thought I was one of those writers. Funny, huh. I learn something new every day ... unfortunately.
Hope you have a good night.
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Apparently, this is no surprise to anyone but me. I am going to have to evaluate my behavior accordingly. I didn't realize that I needed constant praise to write, to be productive, to publish my family newsletter, to write this blog, etc. But I do.
Sad, isn't it? I have finally stumbled on what's been keeping me from writing. My praise tanks are completely empty.
I've always admired those writers who got thousands of rejections and kept on going because their books burned inside them. They had to write or be consumed. Weirdly enough, I had thought I was one of those writers. Funny, huh. I learn something new every day ... unfortunately.
Hope you have a good night.
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Monday, November 09, 2009
Monday, Monday
NaNo is seeming less and less likely. I am now five thousand words behind. I'm not sure if I can catch up. The story is progressing better than it was, but so slow. I'm having to feel my way forward. I've got to hope that somehow the words will finally start flowing. Otherwise, NaNo will disappear beneath the waves.
Let's see what we've learned so far: The woods behind the Watts family home are part of the Great Forest. The Great Forest has been touched by infinity so it stretches both into the past and to the future. In the forest lives Leah, a woman who has lost faith because of betrayal. Leah never intends to return to the present, but she will meet Simon Simple and fall in love, and for him, she will come back to our world even though she knows the terrible price she will have to pay. Meanwhile, Mason has started a blaze of hatred and fear in the small town of Clement, and he's busy fanning the flames. He wants an inferno, and it looks like all his wishes are going to come true. And that's where we are so far.
Anyway, it's horribly late again so I'm going to go to bed. My butt can't take sitting in this typing chair no more! Good night!
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Let's see what we've learned so far: The woods behind the Watts family home are part of the Great Forest. The Great Forest has been touched by infinity so it stretches both into the past and to the future. In the forest lives Leah, a woman who has lost faith because of betrayal. Leah never intends to return to the present, but she will meet Simon Simple and fall in love, and for him, she will come back to our world even though she knows the terrible price she will have to pay. Meanwhile, Mason has started a blaze of hatred and fear in the small town of Clement, and he's busy fanning the flames. He wants an inferno, and it looks like all his wishes are going to come true. And that's where we are so far.
Anyway, it's horribly late again so I'm going to go to bed. My butt can't take sitting in this typing chair no more! Good night!
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Sunday, November 08, 2009
Tanning my hide
So the other day I got out in the sun and got sunburned. Some (revolting) people get out in the sun and turn a nice bronze color. They look like they recently returned from safari. I, however, take the appearance of a boiled beet.
It’s always been that way. I have never been able to tan. In school I was so white that they used to call me Caveboy. Well, that, and my habit of eating raw meat and whacking women on the head so I could carry them away. The underbelly of a toad has more color than I do, although I’m not as green.
Of course, I’m not the only one who suffers this way. I have a couple of friends who are even fairer than me. They are actually capable of blinding other people when the sun reflects off their lily white epidermis.
A tan-disabled friend of mine decided she was tired of being taunted so she went to one of those spray-on tan places. She tried to get me to go with her, but I didn’t. Apparently you stand naked in a booth while a machine sprays you with paint. That sounded like something that could show up on America’s Funniest Home Videos. Besides, being naked where strangers have been naked strikes me as unsanitary.
Anyway, she got her paint job, and it definitely changed her skin color. She now looked vibrant, healthy, and glowing – just like a Florida orange. And I do mean ORANGE. Being the good friend I was, I immediately subjected her to as much ridicule as I could. Fortunately her aim is bad, and we remain friends, although I am careful to never let her get behind me.
So I turn red for a few days, and if that was all that happened, I could handle it. But no, then I have to peel. And I do mean peel. I peel, peel, and peel until you’d think I’m going to peel down to my bones. During this process I look like I should be carrying a sign and ringing a bell to warn people of my leprosy. Eventually I recover and can appear in public without inciting loud cries of horror and fear.
There’s a whole industry in place that caters to people unable to tan. They offer bronzers, enhancers, melanin pills, chrome creams, tanning showers, tanning booths, etc. Billions of dollars are spent to make us look like we spend hours in the sun even though we spend most of our time in front of our TVs watching tanned people do things we will never do.
Just a couple of centuries back in Britain, white skin was considered a mark of the aristocracy. The peasants worked out in the fields and got tanned. Their wealthy rulers stayed inside and married their first cousins. You knew a ruler by the whiteness of his or her skin and if they had any extra toes.
I think they might have something in that. At least the non-tanning part.
Copyright 2009 by Stephen B. Bagley. All rights reserved. Excerpted from Floozy by Stephen B. Bagley.
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It’s always been that way. I have never been able to tan. In school I was so white that they used to call me Caveboy. Well, that, and my habit of eating raw meat and whacking women on the head so I could carry them away. The underbelly of a toad has more color than I do, although I’m not as green.
Of course, I’m not the only one who suffers this way. I have a couple of friends who are even fairer than me. They are actually capable of blinding other people when the sun reflects off their lily white epidermis.
A tan-disabled friend of mine decided she was tired of being taunted so she went to one of those spray-on tan places. She tried to get me to go with her, but I didn’t. Apparently you stand naked in a booth while a machine sprays you with paint. That sounded like something that could show up on America’s Funniest Home Videos. Besides, being naked where strangers have been naked strikes me as unsanitary.
Anyway, she got her paint job, and it definitely changed her skin color. She now looked vibrant, healthy, and glowing – just like a Florida orange. And I do mean ORANGE. Being the good friend I was, I immediately subjected her to as much ridicule as I could. Fortunately her aim is bad, and we remain friends, although I am careful to never let her get behind me.
So I turn red for a few days, and if that was all that happened, I could handle it. But no, then I have to peel. And I do mean peel. I peel, peel, and peel until you’d think I’m going to peel down to my bones. During this process I look like I should be carrying a sign and ringing a bell to warn people of my leprosy. Eventually I recover and can appear in public without inciting loud cries of horror and fear.
There’s a whole industry in place that caters to people unable to tan. They offer bronzers, enhancers, melanin pills, chrome creams, tanning showers, tanning booths, etc. Billions of dollars are spent to make us look like we spend hours in the sun even though we spend most of our time in front of our TVs watching tanned people do things we will never do.
Just a couple of centuries back in Britain, white skin was considered a mark of the aristocracy. The peasants worked out in the fields and got tanned. Their wealthy rulers stayed inside and married their first cousins. You knew a ruler by the whiteness of his or her skin and if they had any extra toes.
I think they might have something in that. At least the non-tanning part.
Copyright 2009 by Stephen B. Bagley. All rights reserved. Excerpted from Floozy by Stephen B. Bagley.
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Saturday, November 07, 2009
Santa, come back and bring words!
You don't want to know. Seriously.
Did I get my NaNo words? No.
Did I finish the October family newsletter? No.
Did I get my laundry and housework done? No.
Did I get my car fixed? No.
But I promise I worked all day on the above. I wasn't goofing off. I'm not lazy. I just couldn't get it all done.
I need a maid. And a couple of servants. And lots of money and a yacht and a red sports car and ... WAIT! Santa, come back! I know it's not Christmas, but I figured you have time now!
Sigh. He got away. Slippery old coot.
Good night.
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Did I get my NaNo words? No.
Did I finish the October family newsletter? No.
Did I get my laundry and housework done? No.
Did I get my car fixed? No.
But I promise I worked all day on the above. I wasn't goofing off. I'm not lazy. I just couldn't get it all done.
I need a maid. And a couple of servants. And lots of money and a yacht and a red sports car and ... WAIT! Santa, come back! I know it's not Christmas, but I figured you have time now!
Sigh. He got away. Slippery old coot.
Good night.
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Friday, November 06, 2009
Behind I am
Oookay.
I am now officially behind on my words for National Novel Writing Month. My muse has cleaned out my bank account and high-tailed to Vegas where the uncouth broad is whopping it up with high-rollers from Philly.
Meanwhile my characters are stuck in an impossible plot in terrible clothes -- Leah, for example, is wearing, I kid you not -- a leather halter top with knee high boots -- and they having to say things like, "The world rests on my shoulders; can I not rest my head on your bosom?" and "I have loved you since before I was born or perhaps before the universe gave birth to darkness" or "We have no names nor need of them, but now we can see that names mean more than names should mean." Sigh. When did Ghosts become a parody?
Anyway, I've got to rescue my characters. I like Simon, Leah, Davey, Bettie, and Nate. I even could like Mattie and Jacob. Mason and the rest can stay in the story, but the others deserve better. Somehow I've got to lure my muse back from Vegas, focus her bleary and blood-shot eyes on the page, and twist her hairy arm until she helps me get them out of their current story and into something better. Maybe something with ice cream.
And a pony.
A pony with fangs that feeds on human blood! BWWWAAAHHHHAAAA!
Or not.
Good night!
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I am now officially behind on my words for National Novel Writing Month. My muse has cleaned out my bank account and high-tailed to Vegas where the uncouth broad is whopping it up with high-rollers from Philly.
Meanwhile my characters are stuck in an impossible plot in terrible clothes -- Leah, for example, is wearing, I kid you not -- a leather halter top with knee high boots -- and they having to say things like, "The world rests on my shoulders; can I not rest my head on your bosom?" and "I have loved you since before I was born or perhaps before the universe gave birth to darkness" or "We have no names nor need of them, but now we can see that names mean more than names should mean." Sigh. When did Ghosts become a parody?
Anyway, I've got to rescue my characters. I like Simon, Leah, Davey, Bettie, and Nate. I even could like Mattie and Jacob. Mason and the rest can stay in the story, but the others deserve better. Somehow I've got to lure my muse back from Vegas, focus her bleary and blood-shot eyes on the page, and twist her hairy arm until she helps me get them out of their current story and into something better. Maybe something with ice cream.
And a pony.
A pony with fangs that feeds on human blood! BWWWAAAHHHHAAAA!
Or not.
Good night!
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Thursday, November 05, 2009
A quick 10
Sorry to sign in so late, but I've been running behind all day, really all week, and this is the first chance I have to sit and write to you today.
Let's see. What can I tell you quickly?
First, NaNo is humming along. Okay, not really humming. More like coughing and hacking repeatedly with an occasional word inserted between the gasping for breath. Yeah, it's going that good.
Second, work continues to be terribly stressful. Nothing much else to say to that.
Third, I'm attempting to get the October family newsletter out. I would have already, except for the above mentioned NaNo and the inability of my family to get their various contributions to me in a timely manner. My family isn't quite aware exactly how powerful my nagging could be. They are going to learn.
Fourth, I don't remember what Fourth was, but it was good.
Fifth, I'm hoping to get the H1N1 shot this Saturday. The health department is offering them, but I have to call tomorrow and see if I qualify. I think I will because I have diabetes, but a customer of mine said she thought they were only giving them this weekend to people who are insulin dependent and/or type 1 diabetics. I'll find out.
Sixth, sure wish I could remember what the Fourth item was going to be.
Seventh, I possibly might be addicted to Dr Pepper. Notice the lack of the >.< after the Dr and before the Pepper. Dr Pepper does NOT have a period in it. That's because Dr Pepper isn't a real doctor. It's the soft drink of the gods ...
Eighth, my roomie's son Todd visited us briefly tonight on his way back to his home, and that kept us up late. I always like seeing him. He's a great young man with a wonderful wife and three glorious children.
Ninth, now I'm thinking that maybe the Fourth item wasn't that good. Otherwise, I think I'd remember what it was. So forget all about the Fourth item. I won't mention it again.
Tenth, time for bed. Have a great day tomorrow! Talk to you then.
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Let's see. What can I tell you quickly?
First, NaNo is humming along. Okay, not really humming. More like coughing and hacking repeatedly with an occasional word inserted between the gasping for breath. Yeah, it's going that good.
Second, work continues to be terribly stressful. Nothing much else to say to that.
Third, I'm attempting to get the October family newsletter out. I would have already, except for the above mentioned NaNo and the inability of my family to get their various contributions to me in a timely manner. My family isn't quite aware exactly how powerful my nagging could be. They are going to learn.
Fourth, I don't remember what Fourth was, but it was good.
Fifth, I'm hoping to get the H1N1 shot this Saturday. The health department is offering them, but I have to call tomorrow and see if I qualify. I think I will because I have diabetes, but a customer of mine said she thought they were only giving them this weekend to people who are insulin dependent and/or type 1 diabetics. I'll find out.
Sixth, sure wish I could remember what the Fourth item was going to be.
Seventh, I possibly might be addicted to Dr Pepper. Notice the lack of the >.< after the Dr and before the Pepper. Dr Pepper does NOT have a period in it. That's because Dr Pepper isn't a real doctor. It's the soft drink of the gods ...
Eighth, my roomie's son Todd visited us briefly tonight on his way back to his home, and that kept us up late. I always like seeing him. He's a great young man with a wonderful wife and three glorious children.
Ninth, now I'm thinking that maybe the Fourth item wasn't that good. Otherwise, I think I'd remember what it was. So forget all about the Fourth item. I won't mention it again.
Tenth, time for bed. Have a great day tomorrow! Talk to you then.
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Wednesday, November 04, 2009
Enter stage left
Her name is Leah. She finally let me type her into the story. She has quite a bit of backstory, although I don't know how much of it will show up in this story. And, of course, her backstory is tragic and horrific. She is a scarred and sad soul. I hope Simon will be able to help her among all the other things he has to do.
Originally I planned Ghosts to take place in one long terrible day. Now I see it will take longer -- several long terrible days and nights. That's good. Gives me more to write and, more importantly, allows Leah to see the inherent goodness of Simon.
Still the words were hard to get, and I'm barely keeping pace to finish on time for National Novel Writing Month. Unlike my friend Jean who apparently has her muse in a headlock and pouring forth the words. I'd be jealous if I wasn't so in awe of her.
Otherwise, not much else is going on my life, other than signing people up for Blastoff! I've been very pleased to hear of the discounts people are receiving. Cool.
I've also been looking at selling a pre-paid legal plan for extra cash. Something I'm going to look at more closely when the insanity of NaNo is over.
What's going on in your world? Anything new? And don't tell me to read your Facebook. Facebook has messed with its interface and made it confusing and hard to find out anything about anyone.
Anyway, have a great day!
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Originally I planned Ghosts to take place in one long terrible day. Now I see it will take longer -- several long terrible days and nights. That's good. Gives me more to write and, more importantly, allows Leah to see the inherent goodness of Simon.
Still the words were hard to get, and I'm barely keeping pace to finish on time for National Novel Writing Month. Unlike my friend Jean who apparently has her muse in a headlock and pouring forth the words. I'd be jealous if I wasn't so in awe of her.
Otherwise, not much else is going on my life, other than signing people up for Blastoff! I've been very pleased to hear of the discounts people are receiving. Cool.
I've also been looking at selling a pre-paid legal plan for extra cash. Something I'm going to look at more closely when the insanity of NaNo is over.
What's going on in your world? Anything new? And don't tell me to read your Facebook. Facebook has messed with its interface and made it confusing and hard to find out anything about anyone.
Anyway, have a great day!
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Tuesday, November 03, 2009
Romantic me
Last night I was trying to figure out why Ghosts was being so stubborn. I barely made my words for NaNo and only after a lot of hard work. As I read over what I had written, I discovered the problem: Ghosts has no romance in it. I realized for the first time that all my books and plays have a romance and/or relationship as a major subplot: Bernard and Lisa in Murder by Dewey Decimal and Murder by the Acre; Luke and Darcy in Darkness, Oklahoma; Stefan and Maladora in Dragons Gather; Dark and Rebecca in Tin Man Dark; and so on.
The relationships aren't the A plot in any of those books. The A plots are mysteries, dark suspense, action adventure, etc. But the B plots are two people attempting to make a relationship together despite murder, former lovers, mad wizards, psychotic scientists, or the Old Gods.
This was a surprise to me. I don't consider myself a romantic person. In fact, quite the opposite. I'm usually described as pragmatic, very much into learning to love what I can get instead of wasting my life wanting something I can't. I'm sure there's probably something a psychiatrist could make of my apparent suppression of romance, but since one doesn't read my blog as far as I know, we can safely discard any psychological reasons and simply say that relationships make for compelling drama, whether between a werewolf sheriff and a psychic nurse, a powerless wizard and a mind witch, a reporter and a librarian, or a chem-enhanced black ops soldier and a crusading social worker.
So although I got my words on Ghosts, I suspect I'm starting it over. Now, if it wasn't NaNo, I would throw out most of what I've already written. But it is NaNo and 50,000 words in one month isn't easy so they're all staying until the rewriting starts. Truthfully I always throw away more words than I keep in any book or play.
A romantic subplot will certainly help me get words on Ghosts, and besides, I think Simon Simple needs to be even more tormented, don't you? All last night and today I'll be thinking about the new woman in Simon's life. I hope when I start writing tonight, she'll be ready to go. I need those words!
I think ... mind you, I'm not sure ... but I think she's warrior of the Shining Ones. I guess I'll find out tonight.
You have a great day. Talk to you tomorrow!
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The relationships aren't the A plot in any of those books. The A plots are mysteries, dark suspense, action adventure, etc. But the B plots are two people attempting to make a relationship together despite murder, former lovers, mad wizards, psychotic scientists, or the Old Gods.
This was a surprise to me. I don't consider myself a romantic person. In fact, quite the opposite. I'm usually described as pragmatic, very much into learning to love what I can get instead of wasting my life wanting something I can't. I'm sure there's probably something a psychiatrist could make of my apparent suppression of romance, but since one doesn't read my blog as far as I know, we can safely discard any psychological reasons and simply say that relationships make for compelling drama, whether between a werewolf sheriff and a psychic nurse, a powerless wizard and a mind witch, a reporter and a librarian, or a chem-enhanced black ops soldier and a crusading social worker.
So although I got my words on Ghosts, I suspect I'm starting it over. Now, if it wasn't NaNo, I would throw out most of what I've already written. But it is NaNo and 50,000 words in one month isn't easy so they're all staying until the rewriting starts. Truthfully I always throw away more words than I keep in any book or play.
A romantic subplot will certainly help me get words on Ghosts, and besides, I think Simon Simple needs to be even more tormented, don't you? All last night and today I'll be thinking about the new woman in Simon's life. I hope when I start writing tonight, she'll be ready to go. I need those words!
I think ... mind you, I'm not sure ... but I think she's warrior of the Shining Ones. I guess I'll find out tonight.
You have a great day. Talk to you tomorrow!
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Monday, November 02, 2009
Lots of stuff!
We have a lot to cover, and as you will see, time is pressing me so let's get going.
First, Ghosts is finished on this blog. I've had a small handful of dedicated readers -- whom I appreciate and will reward as I can -- but for the most part, unique visits on my blog dropped off drastically as the story continued. I asked a couple of the people who weren't dropping by as they used to find out why. 1) They didn't like reading long stories online, 2) they didn't like horror and 3) they stop by the blog to see what's going on with me and all I'm posting is the story. Well, I can understand those reasons. Also, because Ghosts is a book, I need to be able to go back and correct earlier mistakes. I'm thinking it's better if my readers see a finished product rather than my fumbles and missteps. So no Ghosts. But if you really like the story, have no fear. Come February or March, I will make it available to you to read, either on Lulu.com or other venue.
Second, I hesitate to share this with you because somehow letting you know about it means I will be committed -- and probably should be to some nice mental hospital -- but I am participating in National Novel Writing Month. Or as it is known by the fellow inmates, NaNo. Lord help your addled child. This means writing 50,000 words in November. Ghosts is actually my NaNo novel, but it's obvious to me now that most of what I've written is too far along in the story, and I need to recast the whole thing. A major difficulty is the lack of dialogue or really the opportunity for dialogue among the characters. And since I'm aiming for 65,000 to 70,000 words with 50,000 in November(!), I've got to get moving.
Third, I've become a member of the Blastoff! shopping and entertainment network, and I'd like you to join, too. Becoming a member is fast and free and requires no personal information. You can join here. It offers a customized home page where you can easily add feeds from news sites, plenty of free games, a shopping mall that offers access to over 400 online merchants, and discounts and cash back checks up to 15 percent. Several of my friends have already started shopping on it because of the discounts and cash backs. If you shop online much, you can save money using Blastoff! With Christmas looming before us, I think it's a good thing.
Fourth, I had a very good Saturday. Got up late, did a bit of housework, and worked on my family newsletter. Around noon, I joined some of my friends to watch our local college's homecoming parade -- which lasted over an hour! Afterwards, we went to eat at a Mexican restaurant. And for those friends, might I say ... GRRRR! (You had to be there.) Then my roomie and I decorated the front porch a bit for Halloween -- yes, we were running behind -- and we watched football all night and gave out candy to the trick-or-treaters.
Fifth, a good Sunday, too, although I caught a bit of a cold. For lunch I sauteed chicken breasts in olive oil, minced garlic, chives and turmeric and then added rice and organic chicken broth to the pan. Delicious! Served it with the Brussels sprouts and asparagus spears. A great and fairly quick meal. Then I spent most of the day doing laundry, napping, writing, finishing the family newsletter, etc.
And now it's Monday and time for work. Talk to you later. Have a great day!
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First, Ghosts is finished on this blog. I've had a small handful of dedicated readers -- whom I appreciate and will reward as I can -- but for the most part, unique visits on my blog dropped off drastically as the story continued. I asked a couple of the people who weren't dropping by as they used to find out why. 1) They didn't like reading long stories online, 2) they didn't like horror and 3) they stop by the blog to see what's going on with me and all I'm posting is the story. Well, I can understand those reasons. Also, because Ghosts is a book, I need to be able to go back and correct earlier mistakes. I'm thinking it's better if my readers see a finished product rather than my fumbles and missteps. So no Ghosts. But if you really like the story, have no fear. Come February or March, I will make it available to you to read, either on Lulu.com or other venue.
Second, I hesitate to share this with you because somehow letting you know about it means I will be committed -- and probably should be to some nice mental hospital -- but I am participating in National Novel Writing Month. Or as it is known by the fellow inmates, NaNo. Lord help your addled child. This means writing 50,000 words in November. Ghosts is actually my NaNo novel, but it's obvious to me now that most of what I've written is too far along in the story, and I need to recast the whole thing. A major difficulty is the lack of dialogue or really the opportunity for dialogue among the characters. And since I'm aiming for 65,000 to 70,000 words with 50,000 in November(!), I've got to get moving.
Third, I've become a member of the Blastoff! shopping and entertainment network, and I'd like you to join, too. Becoming a member is fast and free and requires no personal information. You can join here. It offers a customized home page where you can easily add feeds from news sites, plenty of free games, a shopping mall that offers access to over 400 online merchants, and discounts and cash back checks up to 15 percent. Several of my friends have already started shopping on it because of the discounts and cash backs. If you shop online much, you can save money using Blastoff! With Christmas looming before us, I think it's a good thing.
Fourth, I had a very good Saturday. Got up late, did a bit of housework, and worked on my family newsletter. Around noon, I joined some of my friends to watch our local college's homecoming parade -- which lasted over an hour! Afterwards, we went to eat at a Mexican restaurant. And for those friends, might I say ... GRRRR! (You had to be there.) Then my roomie and I decorated the front porch a bit for Halloween -- yes, we were running behind -- and we watched football all night and gave out candy to the trick-or-treaters.
Fifth, a good Sunday, too, although I caught a bit of a cold. For lunch I sauteed chicken breasts in olive oil, minced garlic, chives and turmeric and then added rice and organic chicken broth to the pan. Delicious! Served it with the Brussels sprouts and asparagus spears. A great and fairly quick meal. Then I spent most of the day doing laundry, napping, writing, finishing the family newsletter, etc.
And now it's Monday and time for work. Talk to you later. Have a great day!
Order Murder by the Acre in softcover from Amazon.com.
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Order Murder by the Acre in softcover from Lulu.com.
Order Murder by the Acre in hardcover only at from Lulu.com.
Order MBTA & MBDD items and more at Oakleaf
Friday, October 30, 2009
Ghosts, Part 10
The town of Clement was different once, you know. We had businesses, homes, even our own post office. But businesses failed, people moved away, and we lost our post office to Shumark City. Tornadoes, fires, and time itself leveled most of what was left.
But back then, Clement had a thriving Main Street. And more than enough men to form Cotting's "posse." Larry and Ronald collected about twenty men, none of them armed with more than pocket knives. Cotting made sure there were no weapons besides his and the officers. Cotting wanted no one to steal his shot.
You probably find Cotting's eagerness to kill Simon strange. No bad blood existed between them. Cotting had only seen Simon with the Watts family around town a few times, and the two men had never met. But Cotting, you see, had been itching for a chance to kill another man ever since he killed his brother.
That murder happened like this. Devene Cotting had been jealous of his older brother Levi almost from the time Devene could walk. His parents doted on Levi and treated Cotting like the accident he was. Levi got the new clothes, Devene got the hand-me-downs. Levi received A's and B's in school while Devene struggled for every C. Levi had blue eyes, tousled blond hair, and a lean body made even stronger by football and track. Devene had muddy brown eyes, a tangle of black hair, and a body made by excessive sweets and second helpings of everything. Levi gave Devene plenty to be jealous of.
Until one day, when Devene was 13 and Levin was 15, they walked home from school on the old Crimsom Creek bridge, Levi a few steps ahead of his younger brother. It was report card day, and Levi was bragging about his straight A's while Devene walked behind and hated Levi with a purity only seen in madmen. Levi stopped and looked down at the river.
"What's he doing?" Levi said, not really asking his brother because he didn't care what his brother thought one way or another. He didn't hate Devene. He simply held him in contempt.
Levi had seen Terrance Mason on the side of the river. Mason held a black box and was turning in circles. They could hear that Mason was speaking, but they couldn't make out the words. Levi moved closer to the edge.
And suddenly it was all so clear to Devene Cotting what he should do. He stepped forward and pushed. Devene marveled at the simplicity of it.
Levi fell, screaming until he hit the water. He disappeared under the surface. Devene watched calmly as his brother struggled for a few moments, but Levi had apparently broke something in his fall. He vanished under the water finally and didn't come back up.
Devene watched the whole time. Movement caught his eye. Mason had walked to the edge of the river and looked up at Devene. Only then did Devene get scared. What did Mason see?
Mason looked out over the river and back at Devene. Mason waved to the boy. Mason walked away from the river back up a trail, carrying a black box under his arm.
Over the years, Cotting had decided Mason hadn't seen anything, although he didn't know how the barman had missed what happened. But what was Mason doing with that box, anyway? Probably something perverted, Cotting thought, and if Mason had seen anything, he certainly gave no sign of it.
And that was the end of Levi Cotting. Devene had thought his parents would turn to him, their only remaining child, but instead grief hardened their hearts. He would never measure up to Levi, and they let him know plenty about it until they were killed in car wreck outside Weatherford when Devene was twenty-three. With their money, he lived a good life and finally got the mayor, a beer drinking buddy, to appoint him as chief of police, a job where he got some respect and some authority.
Over the years as his boring life ground him down, Cotting had relived Levi's death many times. As he thought about it, Cotting realised something important, something essential had been missing in the murder. Finally one night while nursing a beer at Mason's Bar and Grill, he realized what it was. He hadn't got to see the fear in Levi's face. Levi hadn't suffered enough. It had been too quick.
He had stuffed that terrible thought to the back of his mind, but it had lurked there ever since. Now was his chance. He was finally going to get to kill someone the right way. For the first time in a long time, Police Chief Devene Cotting felt alive.
Copyright 2009 by Stephen B. Bagley. All rights reserved.
Order Murder by the Acre in softcover from Amazon.com.
Order Murder by the Acre in softcover from Barnes & Noble.com
Order Murder by the Acre in softcover from Lulu.com.
Order Murder by the Acre in hardcover only at from Lulu.com.
Order MBTA & MBDD items and more at Oakleaf
But back then, Clement had a thriving Main Street. And more than enough men to form Cotting's "posse." Larry and Ronald collected about twenty men, none of them armed with more than pocket knives. Cotting made sure there were no weapons besides his and the officers. Cotting wanted no one to steal his shot.
You probably find Cotting's eagerness to kill Simon strange. No bad blood existed between them. Cotting had only seen Simon with the Watts family around town a few times, and the two men had never met. But Cotting, you see, had been itching for a chance to kill another man ever since he killed his brother.
That murder happened like this. Devene Cotting had been jealous of his older brother Levi almost from the time Devene could walk. His parents doted on Levi and treated Cotting like the accident he was. Levi got the new clothes, Devene got the hand-me-downs. Levi received A's and B's in school while Devene struggled for every C. Levi had blue eyes, tousled blond hair, and a lean body made even stronger by football and track. Devene had muddy brown eyes, a tangle of black hair, and a body made by excessive sweets and second helpings of everything. Levi gave Devene plenty to be jealous of.
Until one day, when Devene was 13 and Levin was 15, they walked home from school on the old Crimsom Creek bridge, Levi a few steps ahead of his younger brother. It was report card day, and Levi was bragging about his straight A's while Devene walked behind and hated Levi with a purity only seen in madmen. Levi stopped and looked down at the river.
"What's he doing?" Levi said, not really asking his brother because he didn't care what his brother thought one way or another. He didn't hate Devene. He simply held him in contempt.
Levi had seen Terrance Mason on the side of the river. Mason held a black box and was turning in circles. They could hear that Mason was speaking, but they couldn't make out the words. Levi moved closer to the edge.
And suddenly it was all so clear to Devene Cotting what he should do. He stepped forward and pushed. Devene marveled at the simplicity of it.
Levi fell, screaming until he hit the water. He disappeared under the surface. Devene watched calmly as his brother struggled for a few moments, but Levi had apparently broke something in his fall. He vanished under the water finally and didn't come back up.
Devene watched the whole time. Movement caught his eye. Mason had walked to the edge of the river and looked up at Devene. Only then did Devene get scared. What did Mason see?
Mason looked out over the river and back at Devene. Mason waved to the boy. Mason walked away from the river back up a trail, carrying a black box under his arm.
Over the years, Cotting had decided Mason hadn't seen anything, although he didn't know how the barman had missed what happened. But what was Mason doing with that box, anyway? Probably something perverted, Cotting thought, and if Mason had seen anything, he certainly gave no sign of it.
And that was the end of Levi Cotting. Devene had thought his parents would turn to him, their only remaining child, but instead grief hardened their hearts. He would never measure up to Levi, and they let him know plenty about it until they were killed in car wreck outside Weatherford when Devene was twenty-three. With their money, he lived a good life and finally got the mayor, a beer drinking buddy, to appoint him as chief of police, a job where he got some respect and some authority.
Over the years as his boring life ground him down, Cotting had relived Levi's death many times. As he thought about it, Cotting realised something important, something essential had been missing in the murder. Finally one night while nursing a beer at Mason's Bar and Grill, he realized what it was. He hadn't got to see the fear in Levi's face. Levi hadn't suffered enough. It had been too quick.
He had stuffed that terrible thought to the back of his mind, but it had lurked there ever since. Now was his chance. He was finally going to get to kill someone the right way. For the first time in a long time, Police Chief Devene Cotting felt alive.
Copyright 2009 by Stephen B. Bagley. All rights reserved.
Order Murder by the Acre in softcover from Amazon.com.
Order Murder by the Acre in softcover from Barnes & Noble.com
Order Murder by the Acre in softcover from Lulu.com.
Order Murder by the Acre in hardcover only at from Lulu.com.
Order MBTA & MBDD items and more at Oakleaf
Thursday, October 29, 2009
Ghosts, Part 9
In the woods, Simon Simple continued to run. Not that he thought anyone was chasing him yet. He just enjoyed running in his newly granted grace. No shamble, no clumsy run that made him look like a flailing chicken. Instead, a clean, direct stride with no wasted movement. He felt like he was flying.
Davey hung to him. The boy had stopped crying and buried his head against Simon Simple. Simon thought the little fellow was about to go to sleep, which would not be a bad thing all things considered, particularly when Simon considered the terrors the night would hold.
As he ran, he began to think. To consider all the possibilities that his previously limited intelligence had denied him. To think about his life and how -- by being his companions -- the Shining Ones had influenced him.
He altered his direction at an ancient oak tree and carried Davey away from the gnarled woods behind the Watts house into a true forest. Trees that had lived at least two hundred years or more. A green canopy overhead. Shaggy moss. The trees grew taller the further he went, and the air filled with mist.
In a small clearing circled by bone white stones, three Shining Ones waited. Simon stopped, catching his breath. He checked Davey; the sleeping boy didn't stir. Simon stepped in the circle. He placed the little boy on a long stone. Davey shifted and opened his eyes, and seeing Simon, smiled a sleepy smile before drifting off again.
"I've had time to think," Simon said, still watching Davey.
Yes? The Shining Ones glanced at each other and waited.
"What if I kept running?" Simon asked softly. "What if I didn't stop until Davey was several states away? Would he be safe then?"
Perhaps, the first Shining One said. Is that your decision? If the Shining Ones had been humans, they would have held their breath.
"Will I lose my ... intelligence if I do?" Simon asked.
The second Shining One shook her head. What gifts have been granted would remain. You could live a good life. Perhaps marry and have children of your own. You could be happy. She paused. We would not condemn you for choosing happiness over pain and death, dear Simon.
Simon looked at her. "If you hadn't made me so smart," Simon said, "I'd choose that. I'd have a good life. Davey would have a good life." He smiled sadly. "But I can see plainly there would be a cost to my decision."
Yes, she said.
"What would happen to Nate and Bettie?"
They would be lost, the second one said.
"And Mattie? Jacob?" He stopped as his mind put together things he remembered but had previous lacked the ability to understand. Those nights Mattie had slipped out and returned early in the morning. Her strange comments at times to the children. Things she whispered under her breath. Her fits of temper and the remorse afterwards. He looked at the Shining Ones with stricken eyes. "Mattie! I didn't realize ..."
Do not judge her harshly, the third Shining One said. She is young and lonely. She is only seeking comfort. She doesn't understand what she has carried into her home. All humans make decisions that impact their future. None of them know the consequences of their simplest choices until time passes.
Simon closed his eyes. "If I choose to be happy, if I choose to take Davey to safety, everyone else suffers."
It is not all your burden, the first Shining One said. They have choices, also. No one future is set. But a handful of futures are more likely if you choose your happiness. In those handful, the children and their parents are irrevocably lost.
"So I must sacrifice myself to save them," Simon said. "This new world, my new future, the limitless possibilities ... I have to give it up."
It always comes to sacrifice, Simon, the third Shining One said. We do not know why humans have to purchase wisdom with pain. Nor life with sacrifice. But that is the way of this world. Simon, you don't have to choose this path.
Simon looked at him bleakly. "Yes, I do. Nate, Bettie ... Mattie, Jacob, they're my family." He half-smiled. "Surely they're worth whatever I have to pay, but before I do this, I require a promise."
If it is within our power, we will grant it, the second Shining One said. The first one looked at her, but did not speak.
"Protect Davey," Simon said.
We will try -- she started to say.
"No," Simon interrupted. "Promise to keep him safe. For me. Let that be my price."
We cannot promise-- the third one started.
We will protect him, the first one said. As we have said, so will it be.
The other two Shining Ones looked at him briefly and then repeated his words. As we have said, so will it be.
"Thank you," Simon said. He took a deep breath. "Now, what do I do next?"
First, we must tell -- now that you've made your decision -- that more lives hang in the balance than you might have realized, the first one said. The fallen ones have chosen this town to wage a conflict. If we fail, the evil unleashed here will spread. It will eat away the morality of thousands and create a nightmare where unspeakable horrors will be the norm. The first one stepped forward. We cannot allow that to occur. We must stand here or there will be nowhere left for anyone to stand.
Copyright 2009 by Stephen B. Bagley. All rights reserved.
Order Murder by the Acre in softcover from Amazon.com.
Order Murder by the Acre in softcover from Barnes & Noble.com
Order Murder by the Acre in softcover from Lulu.com.
Order Murder by the Acre in hardcover only at from Lulu.com.
Order MBTA & MBDD items and more at Oakleaf
Davey hung to him. The boy had stopped crying and buried his head against Simon Simple. Simon thought the little fellow was about to go to sleep, which would not be a bad thing all things considered, particularly when Simon considered the terrors the night would hold.
As he ran, he began to think. To consider all the possibilities that his previously limited intelligence had denied him. To think about his life and how -- by being his companions -- the Shining Ones had influenced him.
He altered his direction at an ancient oak tree and carried Davey away from the gnarled woods behind the Watts house into a true forest. Trees that had lived at least two hundred years or more. A green canopy overhead. Shaggy moss. The trees grew taller the further he went, and the air filled with mist.
In a small clearing circled by bone white stones, three Shining Ones waited. Simon stopped, catching his breath. He checked Davey; the sleeping boy didn't stir. Simon stepped in the circle. He placed the little boy on a long stone. Davey shifted and opened his eyes, and seeing Simon, smiled a sleepy smile before drifting off again.
"I've had time to think," Simon said, still watching Davey.
Yes? The Shining Ones glanced at each other and waited.
"What if I kept running?" Simon asked softly. "What if I didn't stop until Davey was several states away? Would he be safe then?"
Perhaps, the first Shining One said. Is that your decision? If the Shining Ones had been humans, they would have held their breath.
"Will I lose my ... intelligence if I do?" Simon asked.
The second Shining One shook her head. What gifts have been granted would remain. You could live a good life. Perhaps marry and have children of your own. You could be happy. She paused. We would not condemn you for choosing happiness over pain and death, dear Simon.
Simon looked at her. "If you hadn't made me so smart," Simon said, "I'd choose that. I'd have a good life. Davey would have a good life." He smiled sadly. "But I can see plainly there would be a cost to my decision."
Yes, she said.
"What would happen to Nate and Bettie?"
They would be lost, the second one said.
"And Mattie? Jacob?" He stopped as his mind put together things he remembered but had previous lacked the ability to understand. Those nights Mattie had slipped out and returned early in the morning. Her strange comments at times to the children. Things she whispered under her breath. Her fits of temper and the remorse afterwards. He looked at the Shining Ones with stricken eyes. "Mattie! I didn't realize ..."
Do not judge her harshly, the third Shining One said. She is young and lonely. She is only seeking comfort. She doesn't understand what she has carried into her home. All humans make decisions that impact their future. None of them know the consequences of their simplest choices until time passes.
Simon closed his eyes. "If I choose to be happy, if I choose to take Davey to safety, everyone else suffers."
It is not all your burden, the first Shining One said. They have choices, also. No one future is set. But a handful of futures are more likely if you choose your happiness. In those handful, the children and their parents are irrevocably lost.
"So I must sacrifice myself to save them," Simon said. "This new world, my new future, the limitless possibilities ... I have to give it up."
It always comes to sacrifice, Simon, the third Shining One said. We do not know why humans have to purchase wisdom with pain. Nor life with sacrifice. But that is the way of this world. Simon, you don't have to choose this path.
Simon looked at him bleakly. "Yes, I do. Nate, Bettie ... Mattie, Jacob, they're my family." He half-smiled. "Surely they're worth whatever I have to pay, but before I do this, I require a promise."
If it is within our power, we will grant it, the second Shining One said. The first one looked at her, but did not speak.
"Protect Davey," Simon said.
We will try -- she started to say.
"No," Simon interrupted. "Promise to keep him safe. For me. Let that be my price."
We cannot promise-- the third one started.
We will protect him, the first one said. As we have said, so will it be.
The other two Shining Ones looked at him briefly and then repeated his words. As we have said, so will it be.
"Thank you," Simon said. He took a deep breath. "Now, what do I do next?"
First, we must tell -- now that you've made your decision -- that more lives hang in the balance than you might have realized, the first one said. The fallen ones have chosen this town to wage a conflict. If we fail, the evil unleashed here will spread. It will eat away the morality of thousands and create a nightmare where unspeakable horrors will be the norm. The first one stepped forward. We cannot allow that to occur. We must stand here or there will be nowhere left for anyone to stand.
Copyright 2009 by Stephen B. Bagley. All rights reserved.
Order Murder by the Acre in softcover from Amazon.com.
Order Murder by the Acre in softcover from Barnes & Noble.com
Order Murder by the Acre in softcover from Lulu.com.
Order Murder by the Acre in hardcover only at from Lulu.com.
Order MBTA & MBDD items and more at Oakleaf
An annoying delay
My plan was to edit Part 9 when I went home for lunch. Good plan. Except when I went home, I had no electricity! Power is off. OG&E says there are power outages all over the place following a storm this morning. It did rain a lot and lightning a bunch downtown where I work, but we didn't lose power except for a few minutes. Sigh.
Anyway, surely I will have power when I get home this evening. If not, I'm going to worry about my fish and the food in my fridge. If I have power, you should be reading Ghosts, Part 9, about 30 minutes after I power up my computer ... always supposing the cable system is up, too. Well, if all else fails, I'll use my roomie's computer who has wireless through the phone company. Part 9 tonight or sooner!
Oh, it just occurred to me that you might be wondering why I can't simply post it down here. Because I write on Word on my computer and move each section to Blogger. I think I'm going to back it up each night to Gmail, and then it will be accessible wherever I am. Maybe back it up to a flash drive, too. That would be wise. Live and learn.
Be speaking with you later, God willing.
Order Murder by the Acre in softcover from Amazon.com.
Order Murder by the Acre in softcover from Barnes & Noble.com
Order Murder by the Acre in softcover from Lulu.com.
Order Murder by the Acre in hardcover only at from Lulu.com.
Order MBTA & MBDD items and more at Oakleaf
Anyway, surely I will have power when I get home this evening. If not, I'm going to worry about my fish and the food in my fridge. If I have power, you should be reading Ghosts, Part 9, about 30 minutes after I power up my computer ... always supposing the cable system is up, too. Well, if all else fails, I'll use my roomie's computer who has wireless through the phone company. Part 9 tonight or sooner!
Oh, it just occurred to me that you might be wondering why I can't simply post it down here. Because I write on Word on my computer and move each section to Blogger. I think I'm going to back it up each night to Gmail, and then it will be accessible wherever I am. Maybe back it up to a flash drive, too. That would be wise. Live and learn.
Be speaking with you later, God willing.
Order Murder by the Acre in softcover from Amazon.com.
Order Murder by the Acre in softcover from Barnes & Noble.com
Order Murder by the Acre in softcover from Lulu.com.
Order Murder by the Acre in hardcover only at from Lulu.com.
Order MBTA & MBDD items and more at Oakleaf
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