10 Funny Quotes on Thursday

1. The only way to keep your health is to eat what you don't want, drink what you don't like, and do what you'd rather not. - Mark Twain

2. I told my wife that a husband is like a fine wine; he gets better with age. The next day, she locked me in the cellar. - Anon

3. Son, if you really want something in this life, you have to work for it. Now quiet! They're about to announce the lottery numbers. - Homer Simpson

4. If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular? - Anon

5. When you are courting a nice girl an hour seems like a second. When you sit on a red-hot cinder a second seems like an hour. That's relativity. - Albert Einstein

6. Thoughts don't stay in some people's heads because they get lonely there. - Stephen B. Bagley

7. A word to the wise ain't necessary - it's the stupid ones that need the advice. - Bill Cosby

8. Programming today is a race between software engineers striving to build bigger and better idiot-proof programs, and the Universe trying to produce bigger and better idiots. So far, the Universe is winning. - Rich Cook

9. Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much. - Oscar Wilde

10. I just broke up with someone and the last thing she said to me was "You'll never find anyone like me again!" I'm thinking, "I should hope not! If I don't want you, why would I want someone like you?" - Anon

Talk to you tomorrow!

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