Thursday, January 21, 2010

10 Funny Quotes on Thursday

1. The only way to keep your health is to eat what you don't want, drink what you don't like, and do what you'd rather not. - Mark Twain

2. I told my wife that a husband is like a fine wine; he gets better with age. The next day, she locked me in the cellar. - Anon

3. Son, if you really want something in this life, you have to work for it. Now quiet! They're about to announce the lottery numbers. - Homer Simpson

4. If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular? - Anon

5. When you are courting a nice girl an hour seems like a second. When you sit on a red-hot cinder a second seems like an hour. That's relativity. - Albert Einstein

6. Thoughts don't stay in some people's heads because they get lonely there. - Stephen B. Bagley

7. A word to the wise ain't necessary - it's the stupid ones that need the advice. - Bill Cosby

8. Programming today is a race between software engineers striving to build bigger and better idiot-proof programs, and the Universe trying to produce bigger and better idiots. So far, the Universe is winning. - Rich Cook

9. Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much. - Oscar Wilde

10. I just broke up with someone and the last thing she said to me was "You'll never find anyone like me again!" I'm thinking, "I should hope not! If I don't want you, why would I want someone like you?" - Anon

Talk to you tomorrow!

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2 comments:

Anonymous said...

Love 'em all!

André said...

Excellent! Had a good chuckle at some of them! Local SEO