Bagley's Happy Acres

By Stephen B. Bagley

I have a farm now. I have over 30 productive animals, including goats, cows, chickens, and even a rabbit or two. I have a small orchard where I have apples, oranges, lemons, mangos, and pecans. In my field, I raise wheat, corn, eggplants, and other staples. I never lose a crop to bad weather. A banker never forecloses on me. Of course, I’m talking about playing the game Farmville 2 on Facebook.

While Farmville is fine, it in no way approaches the grief, heartache, and sheer unending work and frustration of a real farm. By this, you can guess that I am not a fan of farming. You would be correct.

Mind you, I think farmers deserve every bit of support we can give them. I’d much rather send money to them to keep food prices low than sending the money overseas to build gold-plated toilets. Which, according to the news, is how some of our money sent to foreign countries was spent. Of course, when you have billions to spend, it becomes difficult to know what to do with the money. You can’t just let money lie around your palace in piles. It looks so untidy.

Little family farms are almost a thing of the past. Big corporations have taken over the farming world. They’re busy doing everything they can to make a lot of money from farming, including spicing the gene stock of plants in ways that Dr. Frankenstein could only dream of. These corporations make up what is now called ‘agribusiness.’ You can even buy shares in the companies on the stock market, thus paying for your food twice. We’ve come a long way, baby, down a road we probably shouldn’t have.

But back at Bagley's Happy Acres, everything is great. My cute, lively goats jump around happily and never get sick or lost. They even produce goat cheese all by themselves. That’s nothing compared to my cows who produce milk, cheese, AND yogurt. My sheep actually produce bolts of wool and fleece. If only they knitted, too, they would be perfect. And all my animals produce non-stinky fertilizer that I put on my crops with just a click of a mouse button. Did I mention my crops grow in just hours, some in only minutes? If farming really was this easy, everyone would be doing it.

As a friend pointed out, Farmville 2 is a game, not a simulation. If it were a simulation, it would throw in tornadoes  hail, floods, drought, insects, the National Farm Bill, hunters who mistake prize bulls for deer (actually happened on my dad’s farm), disease, tractors and balers that cost more than houses, brush fires, the National Farm Bill, livestock theft, freak snow-storms, broken irrigation pumps, ravenous deer and rabid raccoons and skunks, the National Farm Bill, and all those other calamities that make farm boys desperate to become city folk. Naturally, no one sane would play a game like that where the odds were totally against you — although I guess Vegas does okay.

I’ve always thought farmers were a bit crazy to pour their hearts and souls into such a hard life. Even mighty agribusiness finds it difficult to make a profit. Though we all need food, it’s funny that society don’t value the farmers who produce it. And by funny, I mean sad and short-sighted. (I can make funny mean all sorts of things. Isn’t that funny?)

Visit Bagley's Happy Acres — not your forefather’s farm. Thankfully.

From Return of the Floozy. Copyright 2013 by Stephen B. Bagley. All rights reserved. No copying permitted of any kind without permission. Thank you for reading. 

Hardest

The hardest thing you
ever asked me to do
was to let you go.
Even now I struggle
with the loss, the place
inside me that no one
has been able to fill.

Are all first loves like this?
Burned so deep we can't
forget the nights of wicked
love and fierce passion?
We only get one first love;
why were you mine?
What god cursed me?

I've had others since you,
those I loved as best I could.
You didn't figure into why
we didn't last. I only remember
you when they're gone, when
the silence fills the room like
your scent once did.

Copyright 2013. All rights reserved. No copying without permission. Thanks for reading.

A message from our sponsors

EndlesS
By Stephen B. Bagley
Poetry - Enjoy more than 50 sensual & moving poems, including the award winning "Non-Communion," "Torrent," & "Endless."
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Floozy & Other Stories
By Stephen B. Bagley
Humor - Laugh at more than 80 hilarious tales from the author's decidedly different life.
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Murder by the Acre (Second Edition)
By Stephen B. Bagley
Mystery - Who killed the ladies man? Bernard, Lisa & the chief are back! New expanded edition. 2nd in Measurements of Murder series.
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Murder by the Acre (First Edition)
By Stephen B. Bagley
Mystery - Who killed the ladies man? Bernard, Lisa & the chief are back! 2nd in Measurements of Murder series.
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Murder by Dewey Decimal
By Stephen B. Bagley
Mystery - Who killed the librarian? 1st in Measurements of Murder series.
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Tales from Bethlehem
By Stephen B. Bagley
Inspirational - Have you ever wondered about everyone else in Bethlehem on the night of the Nativity? These charming and touching Tales will tell you their stories.
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Spring

FIVE MINUTE TIMED WRITING ON SPRING

I make resolutions in January. Have for years, but by the time March rolls around, I’m ready to change them or renew them. And Spring inspires me. Something about the green and the rain and storms, I get restless and find myself willing to embark on journeys to new lands, places inside my soul that I’ve never been and, if I were wise instead of foolhardy, wouldn’t go.

In Spring, I understand the song of the Janus, gazing both at the past and the future. I worship God and look for new deities, I rejoice in current lovers and look for new ones, I breathe in the sunshine and seek the new shadows of the woods. The dark of winter gives way to the unsettling southern winds that call my name and promise new experiences. Spring never promises the experiences will be good, just that they will be unknown and new.

In Spring, my year begins again.

Room of Her Own

Room of Her Own

She wanted a room of her own
so he mindlessly gave her
a designer bedroom next to
a nursery in pink and blue
which became a sewing room
later made into craft room
and then into a parlor
to read books when he
was away where she waited
for years until she left.
Walking through the empty house
finally he understood
when she said
a room of her own
she meant
one without him.

Copyright 2013 by Stephen B. Bagley. All rights reserved. No copying without express written permission. Thank you for reading.

Hero

We're doing timed writings and paragraphs in my writing groups as a way to open up our creativity. Here's one of my paragraphs.

50-75 WORDS ON ONE OF MY HEROES

One of my heroes is Benjamin Franklin. He lived a full life. He explored every mystery he could from science to naughty women to religion. He was not afraid of what he found and often adjusted his viewpoints as experiments showed him that he was wrong. He was ambitious and not afraid of where it could take him. And his energy was boundless. If I could choose one hero to meet, it would be him.

Hutch

Thinking of getting a hutch for my desk. Currently I use these plastic boxes two stacked up on each side of my computer and monitor with a board stretched across the top. I’ve been intending to do something better – better looking and more functional – for the past 20 years, which is about how long the boxes have lasted.

Alas, the plastic boxes are beginning to sag and crack. They’ve held long and in a task they weren’t designed for. Strange how temporary things can easily become permanent.

Since I’m going to have to replace the plastic boxes, I think it’s time to buy an actual hutch. And if all the books, CDs, DVDs, pens, pencils, paperclips, computer programs, paper, other office supplies, etc., won’t fit on the hutch, then it’s time to discard them.

Or more likely to find them another home. What? Me discard office supplies? You must be out of your mind.

Pressure

I have so much to do today. I'm behind on everything. Well, nothing like pressure to gear me up. Tally ho!

Found!

The issue of ByLine has been found! Thanks to everyone who looked. I appreciate your efforts.

10 Facts About Me v.1

1. I've lived in Oklahoma my whole life. I don't know if the state has warped me or I've warped the state, but we're definitely warped.

2. My father had eight siblings. Seven sisters and one brother. I think he would have liked to have a family that large on his own.

3. My favorite fruit is grapes. I also like strawberries, bananas, kiwis, watermelon, and blueberries. And fresh pineapple. Just so you know should you want to send a fruit bouquet.

4. I had two brothers and two sisters. My youngest brother passed away when he was a baby. I would liked to have known him. My other siblings are still with me.

5. My favorite author -- besides me, of course -- is Terry Pratchett. I buy him in hard cover books, and when I'm feeling particularly blue or overwhelmed by the cruelties of this world, I reread one of his funny, wise books.

6. I typically read three or four books at a time. I've always done this. I've been told that it's a symptom of Adult ADHD (Adult Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder). I doubt this. It just takes a lot to feed my brain.

7. I am a Type 2 diabetic. Food is my drug, sugar is my meth, but I'm trying to get clean. Some days I do better than others. It's a day by day thing.

8. When I read a really great book, I find myself taking it apart to find out how the author did it. This enhances the experience sometimes. Other times, it ruins the book for me.

9. Mexican food is my favorite food.

10. I like to write books that I'd like to read. If I'm not interested in it, then I can't force myself to write it.

A commercial message!

EndlesS
By Stephen B. Bagley
Poetry - Enjoy more than 50 sensual & moving poems, including the award winning "Non-Communion," "Torrent," & "Endless."
Buy on Amazon
Buy on Lulu

Floozy & Other Stories
By Stephen B. Bagley
Humor - Laugh at more than 80 hilarious tales from the author's decidedly different life.
Buy on Amazon
Buy on Barnes & Noble
Buy on Lulu

Murder by the Acre (Second Edition)
By Stephen B. Bagley
Mystery - Who killed the ladies man? Bernard, Lisa & the chief are back! New expanded edition. 2nd in Measurements of Murder series.
Buy on Lulu
Buy on Amazon

Murder by the Acre (First Edition)
By Stephen B. Bagley
Mystery - Who killed the ladies man? Bernard, Lisa & the chief are back! 2nd in Measurements of Murder series.
Buy on Amazon
Buy on Barnes & Noble

Murder by Dewey Decimal
By Stephen B. Bagley
Mystery - Who killed the librarian? 1st in Measurements of Murder series.
Buy on Amazon
Buy on Barnes & Noble
Buy on Lulu

Tales from Bethlehem
By Stephen B. Bagley
Inspirational - Have you ever wondered about everyone else in Bethlehem on the night of the Nativity? These charming and touching Tales will tell you their stories.
Buy on Lulu

The power of the Net

I'm attempting to find a 1993 February issue of Byline magazine. The magazine is now out of business. In that issue, they published my poem "Passion." Because of lost box during a move, my copies were lost. The box has never been found. I'd like a chance to get that issue or even a scan or photocopy of the page that had my poem on it. Other magazines published the poem, and I eventually collected it in my chapbook EndlesS, but that particular credit meant a lot to me. Can the power of the Net -- you -- help?

Here's the poem:

Passion

If I could, I would seduce you
into poetry. I would run
feathery words over the bare
shoulders of your muse, touch gently
the moist secret places of your
metaphors, delicately brush
your lips with similes and plunge
rhythm and rhyme into your soul.

I would take you past the threshold
where passion and structure meet, where
one image means the difference
between indifference and glory.
If I could, I would do these things
and do them long and do them well
until when you heard poetry,
you would gasp, don't stop oh don't stop.

From EndlesS. Copyright 2008 by Stephen B. Bagley. All rights reserved. No copying without express permission. Thank you for reading.

Fare thee well

Fare thee well

Have something to tell you
that may cause anger even (confusion)
though it's not my intent --
I forgive you for not (decision)
finally forgiving me.

Yes, that's the way it is, all
those years of contempt (silence)
you've sent my way end
here, not that you will stop (willful)
but I will no longer care.

You were never willing to shoulder
your share of the blame, (weak)
but no one made you kiss me,
no one made you love me, (wicked)
night after glorious night.

Remember all the pain
if that's all you can choose, (sorrow)
remember the sharp words
and the consuming fear (tears)
all those many years ago.

I let you go from my desire
of closure, of salvaging a sweet (mistake)
from the rubbish heap -- some
things cannot be mended or (never)
remembered without pain.

Just don't waste your life
now hating me. If you do, (wasteful)
I will live in your thoughts,
your dreams, and it's past (past)
time to fare thee well.

for B.A.

Copyright 2013 by Stephen B. Bagley. No copying in any form without express permission from the author.Thank you for reading.

No One Expected It To Happen

No One Expected It To Happen

So they turned their eyes toward the sun
surprised finally that all the mad
old man with the tangled beard had said
would come to pass had come to pass.
The shadow across the sun looked
to be a hand to some, a sword
to a few, and a man's face
to still others. As the last men
and women gaped at their doom, animals
fled to the hills, finding the dark
caves and the deep waters, nature
compelling them to survival,
so that something new would rise to claim
this earth after the rock fell out
of the sky and ice covered the world
and no one was left to read these words.

From EndlesS, copyright 2008 by Stephen B. Bagley. All rights reserved. No copying of any kind without express permission of the author and publisher. Thank you for reading.

Joys

Yesterday, I talked about the struggle of writing. How you have to learn to enjoy the struggle of writing to write productively. I would be remiss to not mention the joys, though, and there are many.

The joy of creating a world for a characters. Playing God as it were. The houses go there, the people go there, she loves him, he loves someone else even though she's not write for him, oh let's add in a few vampires and zombies and a flaming sword.

The joy of a scene saying exactly what it did in your thoughts. Of having the emotional impact that you intended for it to have. The satisfaction of the words flowing, and the written words match to the movie in your mind.

The joy of other people entering your world and finding it good. Of them getting excited about your words and your characters. Becoming your fan.

Awesome. Simply awesome. I recommend it to everyone.

Struggle

Part of the struggle of writing is to learn to enjoy the struggle itself. This seems contradictory since struggle implies hardship and grief. And writing certainly has both of those in it, but the struggle is also what gives writing worth. We humans have a tendency to devalue things that come easy.

You can see this when people tell me that they intend to write a book when they have time. I always tell them that they should. They rarely try, but if they do, they learn -- as a friend of mine once said after his attempt, "It's hard!" I've heard variations of that many times. People are always surprised, even shocked to discover the words have to be wrestled out of the ether.

Because we can all write words, it seems that we all have the ability to write a book. What is a book except a lot of words? But when you’re staring at that unforgiving page, you learn that it’s much, much more.

Good authors make books that we read easily. So we think the writing is, too. But it takes practice and time. Like any craft does, you have to struggle.

Truth

I used to think it was uplifting to love more than I loved. That it was noble somehow. I had lofty ideas that loving is more important than being loved. And somewhere in the back of my mind, I thought that such noble, lofty thoughts would be rewarded by a great love.

I was an idiot.

Unsettled

I feel unsettled tonight. Been one of those days where everything is just a little off, just a bit frustrating, and, by the end of the day, I end up walking around my house picking up one thing and then another, but not doing anything productive or useful.

If it wasn't so cold, I'd go on a walk. The night air might clear my head. Or let me work off this nervous energy.

Well, that's how it goes sometimes. Hope you had a good day.

Five Minute Romance

As a writing prompt for my writing group, we had the assignment of doing a five minute timed writing on romance. The below is what I wrote:

Romance has always been difficult for me. I think it is for every man. That’s because women don’t know what they want, but they’re not going to be happy until we give it to them. I remember one of my ex-girlfriends wanted me to be more thoughtful on Valentine’s Day. So when the dreaded holiday rolled around, I brought her flowers, chocolates, one sweet card, one sexy card, a vial of her favorite perfume, and 1/4 caret diamond earrings. I also took her out to dinner and a movie. Later in the evening, she expressed dissatisfaction with her gifts. “But why?” I asked, truly baffled. “Well, I wanted something else,” she said. “What?” I asked. “I don’t know,” she said. “Just something else.”  She wasn’t sure what she wanted, but she was going to be unhappy until she got it. I ran into her a few months ago. She’s on her third husband and doesn’t know what keeps going wrong in her relationships. I think I know what’s wrong. She’s crazy, crazy, crazy. I may be lonely sometimes without romance, but trust me, lonely is better than miserable.

Working music

Music helps me get more things done. Fast music to get my blood moving. Get my tasks done to the beat of various pop and rock artists. I have a play list for every book I’ve written. Just something in the background with a beat, Keeps me moving forward. Keeps my energy level up – not as good as caffeine, but it helps.

Do you listen to music when you do chores? Most people do, I think, certainly for routine chores that don’t require much concentration. And if I’m working on something particularly hard, I do want it quiet then. Or I play some Buddhist chants softly. The chants have a beat and low rhythmic sounds, but no words – at least none I know. Keeps me moving forward without intruding.

I think workout music is an obvious example of music that helps us move and sweat and get things done. Perhaps the pyramids were really built to the beat of some ancient Britney Spears.

Something to think about, you ancient alien proponents.