There are few things more frustrating than knowing someone you care about is suffering and there is nothing or little you can do.
My niece is in an ambulance on her way to a hospital in Tulsa. She's in the middle of a Crohn's flare. All I can do is pray and tell my sister to tell my niece that I'm praying for her and that I love her. It doesn't seem enough. Oh, I believe in the power of prayer. I don't think I could live in this world if I didn't, but at times like these, I wish I was a doctor. I wish that I could do more, that my help was more tangible. I wish I could ease her pain. I uselessly wish a thousand things. And knowing that there is better care out there available, but we can't afford it, can't get it because we're poor -- is it any wonder that I'm a screaming liberal? Of course the kicker is that none of my self-serving angst helps her at all. It's not about you, jerk, I tell myself. So I pray.
I'm in that same situation with someone else. Someone that I still care about even though the bridge between us is a smoking ruin. I stand on my shore and watch helplessly as she, like my niece, hurts. Oh, I thought about a phone call, an email, a postcard, a letter, a note, but it might hurt her, might add to her burden, might increase her pain, and she made it clear months ago that she didn't want anything else to do with me, that I only cause her sorrow. So I can only watch and pace and wish I could be there for her, wish that I could do something, anything. I can't, so I pray.
Maybe it's a lack of faith on my part, but it doesn't seem to be enough. Not even close to enough. Sometimes I really hate the world we live in. We deserve better, but I don't see us getting it. Not here. Not while we live in a world ruled by greed, fear and violence.
It's a bad night following a bad day. That's how it goes sometimes. Tomorrow will be better. Please pray for my niece and all the other people suffering out there. It may be the only hope, the only chance we all have.
8 comments:
I'll pray with you, Tech, and Frenzied. Wherever two or more are gathered in His name, there He is. Just reading the round of blogs, there are so many hurting right now. We may not be able to do much else, but we can ask for comfort and healing.
Like Frenzied says, don't despair. You're being heard.
You can count on my Prayers.
He hears, listens and answers. Always.
She will be in my prayers, Tech, as well your other friend. The longer I live in this fallen world, the more eager I am for heaven. It is our hope.
I'm so sorry to hear your niece is going to be back in the hospital. I'll add her and your family to my prayers.
I'm sorry to hear about your niece and your former friend. They will be in my thoughts.
I'm with you on the healthcare in this nation. I get damn tired of hearing the conservatives say that "we don't want socialized medicine like England". But they don't ever present a better system. They throw up their lilywhite Republican hands and head off to their golf games and country clubs. Because we can't figure out a perfect system, they let most of the nation suffer under inadequate health care. That's why we have the highest infant mortality rate in the western nations as well as the one of the lowest life spans and more incidents of preventable diseases. If you're a screaming liberal, I'm a howling one.
Your neice will be in our prayers, Tech.
Niece, I mean!
Thank you all for the prayers and thoughts for my niece. It means a lot to me that you care.
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