A couple of weeks back, a friend of mine shared his experience with his first marriage, which ended badly many years ago. He took most of the blame because he was unfaithful. Not that he started out to being unfaithful, he said.
No, it started with a bit of flirting at the office. Nothing major, mind you. Just a few comments on about a friend's dress and how good she looked in it. A couple of slightly naughty birthday cards. A few lunches where they discussed the problems of their respective marriages. A handful of phone calls when he was on a business trip. Several hugs that went on a moment too long. And then finally a kiss.
"An insidious kiss," he told me. Oh, they swore they wouldn't kiss again, and he said he tried to stay away from her, tried to make their relationship strictly business again. They succeeded for a few weeks.
But then they were alone at the office together one day. And they talked. And kissed. And ended up in a hotel room. And finally in divorce court.
His affair cost him his wife. And his daughter because she sided with her mother. And his business because he had neglected it while the affair sizzled, and the customers went somewhere else, and the divorce settlement took care of the rest. His ex-wife got the house and half the assets and remarried four years after the divorce to a wonderful man she's still married to 13 years later. She's pleasant to him now, but he hasn't been able to get close to his daughter again who has never forgiven him.
His lover went back to her husband. They moved to another state. They haven't spoken since.
Three years ago, he remarried. He's happy now. Has another business that's holding its own. But he makes sure he's never in the office alone with any of his female employees, and he's friendly but distant with them. It's for the best, he says, even if he's past the age when affairs are more common.
He never wants another insidious kiss. It cost him too much.
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