HSCC: Christmas Groaners

1. What do monkeys sing at Christmas ?
Jungle Bells, Jungle bells...

2. What do you get if you cross an apple with a Christmas tree ?
A pineapple.

3. What do reindeer hang on their Christmas trees?
Horn-aments.

4. What would a reindeer do if it lost its tail?
She'd go to a re-tail shop for a new one.

5. Why is Prancer always wet?
Because he's a rain-deer.

6. Which of Santa's reindeer has bad manners?
Rude-olph.

7. What do reindeer always say before telling you a joke?
This one will sleigh you.

8. How does Rudolph know when Christmas is coming?
He looks at his calen-deer.

9. What do you give a reindeer with an upset tummy?
Elk-a-seltzer.

10. How do you get into Donner's house?
You ring the deer-bell.

11. What's red and white and gives presents to gazelles?
Santelope.

12. Did Rudolph go to a regular school?
No, he was elf-taught.

13. Why did Rudolph the red-nosed reindeer cross the road?
Because he was tied to a chicken.

14. Why do reindeer wear fur coats?
Because they look silly in snowsuits.

15. What do elves learn in school?
The Elf-abet.

16. If athletes get athletes foot, what do astronauts get?
Missletoe.

17. Why was Santa's little helper depressed?
Because he had low elf esteem.

18. Why does Santa have 3 gardens?
So he can hoe-hoe-hoe.

19. Where do polar bears vote?
The North Poll.

20. What do you call a cat on the beach at Christmas time?
Sandy Claws.

21. What do you call a bunch of grandmasters of chess bragging about their games in a hotel lobby?
Chess nuts boasting in an open foyer.

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