Tuesday, January 09, 2007

Homicidally yours

      I have at least one fault -- yes, I know you have a list, but let's just consider one right now, okay? -- and it is that I get grumpy without sleep. Testy, even. Angry. Murderous. I realize this, and so when I don't get enough sleep, I constantly remind myself that jail is an ugly place and I don't want to go there so there's no reason to strangle that customer who comes into my office just to complain about the prices my company charges even though I have nothing to do with said prices and in no way can I change them. Likewise, it would be bad to beat the people in the building next door to me to bloody, terrible death just because they play their radio so loudly that I can clearly hear it. I remind myself of these things because I know that, with enough sleep, I could handle those annoyances and all would be fine. I could even be charming. With enough sleep.
      But today, dear customer, when you came in my office to complain that my boss didn't call you back even though I gave him the two messages you left and then accused me of not giving him those messages, frankly you were lucky to leave here alive. You wouldn't have, but I'm slower now that my back is injured and I couldn't get my hands around your weasel throat before you got away.
      Because I really am a decent person, I'm not going to hunt you down. I'm not even going to release the robot monkeys to pull you limb from limb. But remember this: When I'm finally declared emperor of the earth, you'd going to be so very, very, very sorry.
      A person who's read a bit of Darkness, Oklahoma asked me where all the anguish and horror in the story came from. I will tell you now -- it comes from my job. And lack of sleep.
      Sleep is where I'm heading now. Hope you have a great day tomorrow. Night!

5 comments:

Anonymous said...

Emperor of the Earth, I wish you a peaceful nights sleep =0)

Anonymous said...

Do these people not realize that you have some control over their accounts? Don't chase them down just delay any refunds or mess up on the addresses or something..you have power! Wait you still like me right? I am turning the music down right now ok?
Roen

Michelle said...

LOL Boy do I understand. I had a day like that, on Monday. 2 customers smacked my butt up and down for soemthing out of my control. At least one of them, apologized. The other, was blasting me for something that didn't even have to do with my company, but her own personal issues. Somehow, she turned it into my fault.

I think it is amazing that people can convince themselves that they are justified in putting down or abusing verbally another person for their own mistakes or for those of another.

Chin up Tech! I just feel sorry for those people. How unhappy they will be until they figure it out.

SBB said...

It was a good night, Rain. Thanks! I hope your day goes well.

Roen, I've often wondered if people realize how much access I have to their personal info, but I couldn't use it without going to jail and I wouldn't like jail. But I can't delay refunds or mess up their address. So I guess you're -- uh -- they're safe. For now.

I would feel sorry them, Michelle, but I'm too busy plotting their tortures ... :)

SBB said...

FF, getting caught is not in my plans! :)

I know, Amber, and that's what keeps those certain customers alive!