Here it is as concise as I can make it: The CT scan showed several patches of something in both of my lungs. The doctor said that it is either cancer or an inflamatory process. I will be having more extensive blood tests and another CT scan and perhaps an MRI to see, if it is cancer, if it spread from elsewhere in my body. Depending on what the blood test reveal and the next CT scan, I will have a lung biopsy to determine if it's cancer.
I am dismayed and shocked. I didn't expect this. I thought he would say that everything was okay or I just had some sort of infection in my lungs. I'm still reeling.
I'm asking you to please pray that it's not cancer, that it's an inflamatory process caused by my over-active immune system (Remember I do have IBD), and that it's healed. If it's true that the movement of a butterfly's wing can cause a hurricaine across the world, then your prayer and your thoughts can surely move the universe.
Know that I appreciate your support and will give you updates as I get them. I am not done down here yet, and I intend to fight whatever it is as hard as I can as long as I can and then some!
Thank you.
Click here to order Murder by the Acre in softcover from Amazon.com.
Click here to order Murder by the Acre in softcover from Lulu.com.
Click here to order Murder by the Acre in hardcover, exclusively from Lulu.com.
Click here to order Murder by the Acre merchandise.
Saturday, January 31, 2009
Wednesday, January 28, 2009
25 Things about MBTA
Needed another post and decided to share 25 things about Murder by the Acre that you might not know or don't know or would surprise you or would fill space.
1. It needs more reviewers on Amazon.com. I have three and would like to have more.
2. The plot for Murder by the Acre changed drastically from the original draft. As first written, it had two murderers who teamed up to off some of the folks in Ryton. But that proved to be too confusing and complicated.
3. Also in that first draft, the first victim had a scene from his viewpoint in which he died. It was cut because it added nothing to the book and slowed down the action.
4. It is available for purchase on Amazon.com and Lulu.com. Yes, I know you probably already know that, but I thought I'd mention it anyway.
5. The story frequently went places I didn't expect or revealed things I didn't know. An example: The chief and Maggie's son. I didn't know he even existed until I started writing that scene, and there he was.
6. My subconscious must be smarter than me since what I talked about in number 5 often answered questions that I hadn't thought of asking.
7. I originally planned for Murder by the Mile to be second book. Things change.
8. I acknowledged Holly Lisle in both books (along with others) because her constant inspiration, but no, she didn't proof or edit it. In fact, I don't even know if she read either one. (I suspect not due to her horribly busy schedule.) That wasn't the point of the acknowledgments.
9. The book had to be republished because I accidently got the ISBN number wrong on the copyright page. The cover ISBN is correct.
10. MBTA is being recorded for the Oklahoma Library for the Blind, as was Murder by Dewey Decimal. These recordings are free of charge to people who qualify. MBTA and MBTA may be submitted to the National Libary. I should know in the next couple of months.
11. The murderer was one of the victims in the original story.
12. I had two playlists of selected music when I wrote MBTA.
13. One playlist featured slower music while the other had only faster songs. Depending on what I was writing, I would select either slower or faster.
14. I can't bear to listen to either playlist now because I listened to them so much while writing the book.
15. Murder by the Mile will get its own playlists.
16. If you'd like to enter a drawing to win a Murder by the Acre large coffee mug, tell me so in the comments on this post and you'll be entered. One person will win. I will have the drawing next week. I have only two entries (Trixie and Adam) so far so your odds are good.
17. I have nearly 40 titles written down for The Measurements of Murder(tm) series. It's unlikely I will write all of them, but who knows?
18. I've thought of making MBTA and MBDD into plays, but haven't done more than write a few lines.
19. I have been thinking about another murder mystery series featuring different locations and different people. Here are few titles: Murder at the Witch's Cottage, Murder at the Pirate's Palace, Murder at the Hangman's House, Murder at the Maniac's Museum, etc.
20. I wrote a play named Murder at the Witch's Cottage, and I really like the title. However, the book couldn't feature the same people or plot.
21. Jean pointed out something that I didn't notice myself until after she did: the books have no children in them. No mention of them at all. But yes, Ryton does have children in it. They will be at least mentioned in Murder by the Mile.
22. Since the original Murder by the Acre was written nearly 25 years ago, it had no mention of cell phones or the Internet in it. I changed that when I revised it for publication.
23. I use several baby books and phone books to get the names of my characters. I pick names that none of my friends or acquaintences have, unless, of course, they have agreed to let me use them for minor, non-speaking characters.
24. My brother-in-law Phillip Owens is the only real person whose name is featured in both books.
25. I have huge changes planned for both Lisa and Bernard in the next few books. They have to grow and change to keep my interest, and I think they will.
Click here to order Murder by the Acre in softcover from Amazon.com.
Click here to order Murder by the Acre in softcover from Lulu.com.
Click here to order Murder by the Acre in hardcover, exclusively from Lulu.com.
Click here to order Murder by the Acre merchandise.
Tuesday, January 27, 2009
25 Random Things
(Frenzied Feline tagged me on Facebook and since I needed a post ...)
Once you've been tagged, you are supposed to write a note with 25 random things, facts, habits, or goals about you. At the end, choose 25 people to be tagged. You have to tag the person who tagged you. If I tagged you, it's because I want to know more about you.
1. I don't like my middle name.
2. My dad had seven sisters and one brother.
3. I fell and broke my arm in two places backstage before a production of Oklahoma! by the local community theater.
4. I have two laser pointers.
5. I hate washing dishes.
6. I like to cook.
7. I am a fan of The Closer, which I think might be the best show on television.
8. I don't like yellow or pink cars.
9. My first computer was a Tandy 1000. I saved for months to buy it.
10. My character on World of Warcraft is a mage.
11. I used to play Dungeons & Dragons in college. A group of my friends and I still get together and play every year or so.
12. I wrote myself in as a character in both Murder by Dewey Decimal and Murder by the Acre, but no one has ever figured who I am in the book.
13. There is a puzzle hidden in both books that no one has ever found.
14. One of my favorite shows is Last of the Summer Wine on PBS.
15. I also like Keeping Up Appearances and Are You Being Served?.
16. If something gets my attention, it is quite easy for me to become obsessed with it.
17. I think electric cars are the ultimate in cool.
18. I should have got married in college. That relationship was my last real chance.
19. I really think most doctors are only in it for the money. And I detest most of them.
20. I once accidentally dated a married woman. She didn't tell me she was married. I was very upset when I found out.
21. I've always lived in Oklahoma and proud of it.
22. If you'd like to enter a drawing to win a Murder by the Acre large coffee mug, tell me so in the comments on this post and you'll be entered. One person will win. I will have the drawing next week.
23. I have blue eyes.
24. I wear contacts and glasses because my vision is so bad.
25. Barq's root beer should be served in an ice cold mug. I like it that way and have my own mug.
And there is no way I can tag 25 people. If you want to do it, do it and let me know. Otherwise, have a great night and wonderful tomorrow. Night!
Click here to order Murder by the Acre in softcover from Amazon.com.
Click here to order Murder by the Acre in softcover from Lulu.com.
Click here to order Murder by the Acre in hardcover, exclusively from Lulu.com.
Click here to order Murder by the Acre merchandise.
Once you've been tagged, you are supposed to write a note with 25 random things, facts, habits, or goals about you. At the end, choose 25 people to be tagged. You have to tag the person who tagged you. If I tagged you, it's because I want to know more about you.
1. I don't like my middle name.
2. My dad had seven sisters and one brother.
3. I fell and broke my arm in two places backstage before a production of Oklahoma! by the local community theater.
4. I have two laser pointers.
5. I hate washing dishes.
6. I like to cook.
7. I am a fan of The Closer, which I think might be the best show on television.
8. I don't like yellow or pink cars.
9. My first computer was a Tandy 1000. I saved for months to buy it.
10. My character on World of Warcraft is a mage.
11. I used to play Dungeons & Dragons in college. A group of my friends and I still get together and play every year or so.
12. I wrote myself in as a character in both Murder by Dewey Decimal and Murder by the Acre, but no one has ever figured who I am in the book.
13. There is a puzzle hidden in both books that no one has ever found.
14. One of my favorite shows is Last of the Summer Wine on PBS.
15. I also like Keeping Up Appearances and Are You Being Served?.
16. If something gets my attention, it is quite easy for me to become obsessed with it.
17. I think electric cars are the ultimate in cool.
18. I should have got married in college. That relationship was my last real chance.
19. I really think most doctors are only in it for the money. And I detest most of them.
20. I once accidentally dated a married woman. She didn't tell me she was married. I was very upset when I found out.
21. I've always lived in Oklahoma and proud of it.
22. If you'd like to enter a drawing to win a Murder by the Acre large coffee mug, tell me so in the comments on this post and you'll be entered. One person will win. I will have the drawing next week.
23. I have blue eyes.
24. I wear contacts and glasses because my vision is so bad.
25. Barq's root beer should be served in an ice cold mug. I like it that way and have my own mug.
And there is no way I can tag 25 people. If you want to do it, do it and let me know. Otherwise, have a great night and wonderful tomorrow. Night!
Click here to order Murder by the Acre in softcover from Amazon.com.
Click here to order Murder by the Acre in softcover from Lulu.com.
Click here to order Murder by the Acre in hardcover, exclusively from Lulu.com.
Click here to order Murder by the Acre merchandise.
Monday, January 26, 2009
Proposal
So basically I’ve made just about every wrong financial decision you can make. I make a lot of them when I was younger; I made some of them not that long ago.
I read Suze Orman’s 2009 Action Plan. It was not necessarily an eye-opener since I had heard some of it before, but it bought into sharp focus this fact: Credit cards are evil. They may be a necessary evil if you want to rent a car or book a hotel room or order something over the Internet, but if you can’t pay off the entire balance as soon as the bill comes, you are living beyond your means.
Let’s repeat that: If you use your credit card and you can’t pay off the whole balance when the bill comes due, you are living beyond your means, and you need to stop.
Do you want to argue with that? If so, argue with Suze. She has completely convinced me of this. If I use my credit card and can’t pay off the whole balance when the bill comes due, I am living beyond my means, and I need to stop.
So, why oh why are I using my credit card? Why is my balance on that credit card increasing?
The answer is this: To pay my medical bills. It’s the only access to credit I have in the amount I need for my medical bills, but I can’t tell you how much I RESENT having to use it for that.
Obama can win my allegiance no matter what scandal eventually hits his administration -- and there will be one -- if he can lead this nation to affordable healthcare. I am willing to pay for health insurance, but I can’t get it. No one will insure diabetics, not unless it’s on a group policy where they have to take me.
And this is a the result of a bad decision that I made years ago. I was healthy and didn’t think I could afford to have a health plan. I thought I’d get one later. What a foolish thing to do. I may have bankrupted my future by that decision. I’d like to be able to go back and hit myself in the mouth every time I attempted to call and cancel my health insurance.
However, I can’t do that. I have to move on from where I am. So I’ve decided to get married. Yes, that’s right. Married. If you’re single and have a health plan that will cover your spouse, I’m your man.
I’m just kidding.
Sort of.
Look, there have been worse reasons to get married. And some of those marriages doubtlessly didn’t end in murder.
I’m not saying I’d actually do it.
But I’m not saying I wouldn’t either.
Have a great day tomorrow. (And check out those health plans.) Night!
Click here to order Murder by the Acre in softcover from Amazon.com.
Click here to order Murder by the Acre in softcover from Lulu.com.
Click here to order Murder by the Acre in hardcover, exclusively from Lulu.com.
Click here to order Murder by the Acre merchandise.
I read Suze Orman’s 2009 Action Plan. It was not necessarily an eye-opener since I had heard some of it before, but it bought into sharp focus this fact: Credit cards are evil. They may be a necessary evil if you want to rent a car or book a hotel room or order something over the Internet, but if you can’t pay off the entire balance as soon as the bill comes, you are living beyond your means.
Let’s repeat that: If you use your credit card and you can’t pay off the whole balance when the bill comes due, you are living beyond your means, and you need to stop.
Do you want to argue with that? If so, argue with Suze. She has completely convinced me of this. If I use my credit card and can’t pay off the whole balance when the bill comes due, I am living beyond my means, and I need to stop.
So, why oh why are I using my credit card? Why is my balance on that credit card increasing?
The answer is this: To pay my medical bills. It’s the only access to credit I have in the amount I need for my medical bills, but I can’t tell you how much I RESENT having to use it for that.
Obama can win my allegiance no matter what scandal eventually hits his administration -- and there will be one -- if he can lead this nation to affordable healthcare. I am willing to pay for health insurance, but I can’t get it. No one will insure diabetics, not unless it’s on a group policy where they have to take me.
And this is a the result of a bad decision that I made years ago. I was healthy and didn’t think I could afford to have a health plan. I thought I’d get one later. What a foolish thing to do. I may have bankrupted my future by that decision. I’d like to be able to go back and hit myself in the mouth every time I attempted to call and cancel my health insurance.
However, I can’t do that. I have to move on from where I am. So I’ve decided to get married. Yes, that’s right. Married. If you’re single and have a health plan that will cover your spouse, I’m your man.
I’m just kidding.
Sort of.
Look, there have been worse reasons to get married. And some of those marriages doubtlessly didn’t end in murder.
I’m not saying I’d actually do it.
But I’m not saying I wouldn’t either.
Have a great day tomorrow. (And check out those health plans.) Night!
Click here to order Murder by the Acre in softcover from Amazon.com.
Click here to order Murder by the Acre in softcover from Lulu.com.
Click here to order Murder by the Acre in hardcover, exclusively from Lulu.com.
Click here to order Murder by the Acre merchandise.
Sunday, January 25, 2009
Catching up with you and you and you
I didn’t mean to leave anyone hanging the past few days. I just haven’t had much to say. I go to the doctor in Oklahoma City Friday. Then we’ll learn the results of my tests. I hope for answers. I would dread any more tests, but I will do what I have to do. Let’s talk of other things.
Books
Friday I got in The Devil’s Disciples by Susanna Gregory. This is the 14th in The Chronicles of Matthew Bartholomew. If you like medieval murder mysteries – and I do as evidenced by the fact I have all 14 books in the series – you’ll love Matthew and the rest of the monks of Cambridge. I’m looking forward to diving into its pages tonight.
I also got in Terry Pratchett’s Nation. I’ve already read Nation, but I wanted to keep my collection up to date. I have all of Pratchett’s works in hardcover; he’s that good. Highly recommended.
A paperback I received is Under the Jolly Roger, Being an Account of the Further Nautical Adventures of Jacky Faber by L.A. Meyer. This is the third in the Bloody Jack Aventures. This time, she – yes, she – tangles with pirates. These are fun historical adventures, and I recommend them also.
The last book I received from Amazon.com was Suze Orman’s 2009 Action Plan. I read the first chapter on Oprah’s website, but unfortunately missed the free download. I thought it worth purchasing. I read the book this week, and it's chock full of good advice. Recommended.
Exercise
Walking to Jericho continues. I’ve been putting in some mileage as have the others. The best walker, however, is Kirsten who is really putting in some mileage. If you're up that direction and a blur passes you, it's her.
The walking is getting easier for me. Not as easy as I hoped it would be by this time, but I'm getting there. I'm hoping that I will be fit enough to start using the recumbent bike by the end of February. That's my goal.
Writing
I've been doing Holly Lisle's How to Think Sideways writing course. I've learned a lot. I can't give a complete review as I haven't finished it yet, but I'm very impressed with it.
I've also been working on the outline for Murder by the Mile. The plot of it changed and caused the outline to change drastically. I should have it in shape by the end of this week, though. Or I hope.
I also finished my family newsletter for January this weekend. I will mail it tomorrow. Less writing in it than usual, but there'll be more next month.
Murder by the Acre continues to sell a few copies on Amazon.com. Obviously not best seller territory, but not remainder, either. I would appreciate any good reviews you could post on Amazon. The reviews help a lot, or at least so I've heard.
Speaking of which, here are the links to purchase Murder by the Acre. Yeah, I know you get tired of seeing them, but hey, some day someone might need them, and there they are.
Click here to order Murder by the Acre in softcover from Amazon.com.
Click here to order Murder by the Acre in softcover from Lulu.com.
Click here to order Murder by the Acre in hardcover, exclusively from Lulu.com.
Click here to order Murder by the Acre merchandise.
It's late now, and I've been trying to get into bed earlier. Need all the beauty sleep I can get. Have a great day tomorrow and a great week. Night!
Books
Friday I got in The Devil’s Disciples by Susanna Gregory. This is the 14th in The Chronicles of Matthew Bartholomew. If you like medieval murder mysteries – and I do as evidenced by the fact I have all 14 books in the series – you’ll love Matthew and the rest of the monks of Cambridge. I’m looking forward to diving into its pages tonight.
I also got in Terry Pratchett’s Nation. I’ve already read Nation, but I wanted to keep my collection up to date. I have all of Pratchett’s works in hardcover; he’s that good. Highly recommended.
A paperback I received is Under the Jolly Roger, Being an Account of the Further Nautical Adventures of Jacky Faber by L.A. Meyer. This is the third in the Bloody Jack Aventures. This time, she – yes, she – tangles with pirates. These are fun historical adventures, and I recommend them also.
The last book I received from Amazon.com was Suze Orman’s 2009 Action Plan. I read the first chapter on Oprah’s website, but unfortunately missed the free download. I thought it worth purchasing. I read the book this week, and it's chock full of good advice. Recommended.
Exercise
Walking to Jericho continues. I’ve been putting in some mileage as have the others. The best walker, however, is Kirsten who is really putting in some mileage. If you're up that direction and a blur passes you, it's her.
The walking is getting easier for me. Not as easy as I hoped it would be by this time, but I'm getting there. I'm hoping that I will be fit enough to start using the recumbent bike by the end of February. That's my goal.
Writing
I've been doing Holly Lisle's How to Think Sideways writing course. I've learned a lot. I can't give a complete review as I haven't finished it yet, but I'm very impressed with it.
I've also been working on the outline for Murder by the Mile. The plot of it changed and caused the outline to change drastically. I should have it in shape by the end of this week, though. Or I hope.
I also finished my family newsletter for January this weekend. I will mail it tomorrow. Less writing in it than usual, but there'll be more next month.
Murder by the Acre continues to sell a few copies on Amazon.com. Obviously not best seller territory, but not remainder, either. I would appreciate any good reviews you could post on Amazon. The reviews help a lot, or at least so I've heard.
Speaking of which, here are the links to purchase Murder by the Acre. Yeah, I know you get tired of seeing them, but hey, some day someone might need them, and there they are.
Click here to order Murder by the Acre in softcover from Amazon.com.
Click here to order Murder by the Acre in softcover from Lulu.com.
Click here to order Murder by the Acre in hardcover, exclusively from Lulu.com.
Click here to order Murder by the Acre merchandise.
It's late now, and I've been trying to get into bed earlier. Need all the beauty sleep I can get. Have a great day tomorrow and a great week. Night!
Tuesday, January 20, 2009
If only
And I'm back. Had my CT scan today. It went fine other than a very upset stomach caused by the radioactive dye they injected in me. Won't know anything about what it showed if anything until next week. Then maybe I'll get some answers. Or if not, more tests. I'm rather tired of tests.
Rather tired of everything today. A bit discouraging to spend $1,200 and not have anything FUN to show for it. I should at least have a tattoo or something. This whole health care thing is weighing me down. I had hoped to pay off all my credit cards this year and make a substantial dent in my second mortgage. In my plan, I had hoped to pay off my second mortgage next year, and then be out of debt completely. Not going to happen now. If only I had health insurance. If only I could get it. If only I had asked to be tested for diabetes years ago. If only I hadn't given up on my relationship with S.G. back in college. If only I had made other decisions. If only I had another life. If only.
Well, I don't. Tomorrow I will get up and go to work. Tomorrow I will walk at the Family Life Center. Tomorrow I'll try to figure out ways to bring Murder by the Acre to people's attention and sell a few more books. Tomorrow I'll pick everything up again. Tomorrow.
Tonight I'm going to watch Leno and The Last of the Summer Wine and then go to bed. Where, if I'm lucky, I won't dream. Dreams can kill you. They bring hope, and hope is cruel. Tonight I'm too tired for hope. Tomorrow I'll hope again. And dream. And plan and work and generally be the original bump-n-go boy. But that's tomorrow.
Tonight I'm going to sign off now. Talk to you soon.
Click here to order Murder by the Acre in softcover from Amazon.com.
Click here to order Murder by the Acre in softcover from Lulu.com.
Click here to order Murder by the Acre in hardcover, exclusively from Lulu.com.
Click here to order Murder by the Acre merchandise.
Rather tired of everything today. A bit discouraging to spend $1,200 and not have anything FUN to show for it. I should at least have a tattoo or something. This whole health care thing is weighing me down. I had hoped to pay off all my credit cards this year and make a substantial dent in my second mortgage. In my plan, I had hoped to pay off my second mortgage next year, and then be out of debt completely. Not going to happen now. If only I had health insurance. If only I could get it. If only I had asked to be tested for diabetes years ago. If only I hadn't given up on my relationship with S.G. back in college. If only I had made other decisions. If only I had another life. If only.
Well, I don't. Tomorrow I will get up and go to work. Tomorrow I will walk at the Family Life Center. Tomorrow I'll try to figure out ways to bring Murder by the Acre to people's attention and sell a few more books. Tomorrow I'll pick everything up again. Tomorrow.
Tonight I'm going to watch Leno and The Last of the Summer Wine and then go to bed. Where, if I'm lucky, I won't dream. Dreams can kill you. They bring hope, and hope is cruel. Tonight I'm too tired for hope. Tomorrow I'll hope again. And dream. And plan and work and generally be the original bump-n-go boy. But that's tomorrow.
Tonight I'm going to sign off now. Talk to you soon.
Click here to order Murder by the Acre in softcover from Amazon.com.
Click here to order Murder by the Acre in softcover from Lulu.com.
Click here to order Murder by the Acre in hardcover, exclusively from Lulu.com.
Click here to order Murder by the Acre merchandise.
Saturday, January 17, 2009
New shoes, new phone, same old me
A busy day today all thing considered. I got up late after being sick yesterday evening. I got about four hours sleep so I was a groggy boy when I dragged myself out of bed. I had a long list of things I wanted to get done today, so I tried to do some of them:
1) Washed a load of shirts.
2) Made it to the library and returned some overdue books and checked out new ones that will doubtlessly be overdue when I return them. (I think of my overdue fines as little donations to the library.)
3) Went to the AT&T and purchased a new Nokia phone because my old one was behaving erratically. The new phone has a Bluetooth headset, camera, Internet access, GPS capacity, and a bunch of other stuff I can’t see myself using much. Apparently getting a cell phone to just be a phone is so yesterday.
4) Went to The Runner and purchased a new pair of walking shoes. I had been walking in the shoes I wear to work each day, and my feet were complaining. I’ve been saving up and got a new pair today that have good arch supports and feel good to my feet. We’ll see how they do Monday night when I walk again.
5) Worked on the family newsletter for January some.
And that’s it for today. Otherwise I napped and tried to get a handle on feeling better. My roomie’s son is supposed to be in town tonight, and we may meet him for dinner later. What exciting things did you do today? Win the lottery? Meet a movie star? Win the lottery AND meet a movie star? Have a deeply spiritual and moving experience that will change your whole life? Share!
And here once again are the links to purchase Murder by the Acre. You didn’t think I’d forget them, did you?
Click here to order Murder by the Acre in softcover from Amazon.com.
Click here to order Murder by the Acre in softcover from Lulu.com.
Click here to order Murder by the Acre in hardcover, exclusively from Lulu.com.
Click here to order Murder by the Acre merchandise.
1) Washed a load of shirts.
2) Made it to the library and returned some overdue books and checked out new ones that will doubtlessly be overdue when I return them. (I think of my overdue fines as little donations to the library.)
3) Went to the AT&T and purchased a new Nokia phone because my old one was behaving erratically. The new phone has a Bluetooth headset, camera, Internet access, GPS capacity, and a bunch of other stuff I can’t see myself using much. Apparently getting a cell phone to just be a phone is so yesterday.
4) Went to The Runner and purchased a new pair of walking shoes. I had been walking in the shoes I wear to work each day, and my feet were complaining. I’ve been saving up and got a new pair today that have good arch supports and feel good to my feet. We’ll see how they do Monday night when I walk again.
5) Worked on the family newsletter for January some.
And that’s it for today. Otherwise I napped and tried to get a handle on feeling better. My roomie’s son is supposed to be in town tonight, and we may meet him for dinner later. What exciting things did you do today? Win the lottery? Meet a movie star? Win the lottery AND meet a movie star? Have a deeply spiritual and moving experience that will change your whole life? Share!
And here once again are the links to purchase Murder by the Acre. You didn’t think I’d forget them, did you?
Click here to order Murder by the Acre in softcover from Amazon.com.
Click here to order Murder by the Acre in softcover from Lulu.com.
Click here to order Murder by the Acre in hardcover, exclusively from Lulu.com.
Click here to order Murder by the Acre merchandise.
Thursday, January 15, 2009
Thoughts with dialogue
Kirsten won the hardcover of Holly Lisle’s wonderful The Ruby Key that I was giving away in the comments on last Friday’s post. Kirsten, email me so I can arrange delivery. The Ruby Key is a wonderful young adult novel. It’s self-contained, but begins a series. The Silver Door, the second books, comes out this spring and is available for pre-order from Amazon.com now.
***
Dialogue with rude customer
Phone rings.
I answer.
Customer: “You haven’t called me with the information I requested. I’ve been waiting for hours.”
Stephen: “I’ve been waiting for your email. I haven’t received it.”
C: “I sent it hours ago.”
S: “Let me check and see if I missed it.”
C: “That’s probably what you did.”
S: “It’s not here.”
C: “Check again. You overlooked it.”
S: “No, sir. It’s not here. What email address did you use?”
C: “What you gave me. I don’t know.”
S: “It’s StephenBagley@mycompany.com.”
C: “That’s where I sent it.”
S: “Did you spell Stephen with a ph?”
C: “No, of course not. What a dumb way to spell Stephen. Where did your parents get that?”
Pause
S: “From the Bible. Stephen was the first Christian martyr.”
C: “Well, who reads that anymore? You should change your name to make it easier for your customers.”
Longer pause
S: “If you’ll resend that email to me, I’ll get you the information you requested.”
C: “I’ll do that, but I want the information as soon as possible. I’ve wasted all day waiting because you didn’t spell your email address to me. What a stupid name.”
Customer hangs up.
Is it any wonder I hate my job sometimes?
***
Dialogue with a friend after a Sunday school class discussion in which the teacher said he agreed with the legislator who said the gay lifestyle was more dangerous than terrorists.
Friend: “Why do you always do that?”
Stephen: “Do what?”
F: “Defend homosexuals.”
S: “What?”
F: “Why didn’t you let it go? Everyone knows our teacher is homophobic. You didn’t have to make it obvious.”
S: “I don’t know why you’re so upset. I wasn’t rude, but I wasn’t going to sit there and let him think I agreed. I’ve yet to see any gay people blowing up buildings.”
F: “You’re always doing that. You always take the liberal side of everything.
S: “Why are you so upset? Did you agree with him?”
F: “Of course not, but … oh forget it.”
S: “I don’t understand.”
F: “No, you don’t. You never do. You never think about the consequences of what you say. Forget it.”
S: “What consequences?”
F: “Every time you defend homosexuals, don’t you realize what people think? They think you’re gay, too.”
S: “I don’t care what they think.”
F: “Yeah, that’s good for you, but what about your friends? People think I’m gay because I’m your friend.”
S: “You’re married!”
F: “Like that matters.”
S: “Do you really care what those people think?”
F: “I have a business here. This is Oklahoma. A rumor gets around like that, and people stop coming in.”
S: “I’m sorry.”
F: “It’s okay.”
S: “But I won’t stop.”
F: “I knew you wouldn’t understand.”
S: “I do understand. I understand perfectly. Being friends with me might cost you business because I won’t keep my big mouth shut. I guess you have to decide if being my friend is worth it. Because I won’t shut up. I can’t. I wish I could, but I can’t. I won’t let my silence be seen as approval. Look, I know you don’t understand why I defend gays and electric cars and Democrats, but I do it because I’m compelled to. Because my conscience says I have to. Because people are too quiet, and they let bad things happen because they won’t speak up and they won’t do what’s right because it costs them. If I don’t speak up, who’s going to?”
F: “There are other people. God didn’t call you to protect them. I want you to think about this: Do you do it because it’s right or because you want the attention?”
S: “I can’t believe you said that. You know better than that. You know better than that!”
F: “Forget it. I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have said anything. You’re my friend. I’m glad you’re my friend.”
S: “I’m glad you’re my friend, too. And I’m sorry if I … embarrass you.”
F: “You don’t. Forget it.”
S: “Forgotten already.”
But it wasn't. I sat in church wondering how long he and his family will continue to be my friends if I keep opening my big mouth.
***
I’ve always found it interesting how stories can change. You think they’re leading one place, but then you find you’re on another path. For instance, when I started writing Murder by the Mile, the third book in the Measurements of Murder Mystery ™ series, I thought it was about an armored car robbery. Turns out I was wrong. The armored car robbery isn’t even mentioned now, and that deletion changed the story quite a bit. No ex-convicts, no driven FBI agents, no hidden money. The only thing that didn’t change was the motive for the murders: revenge.
Fear was the motive in Murder by Dewey Decimal. Greed was the motive in Murder by the Acre. Of course, in both books, other motives got mixed in there, but those two emotions dominated the respective books. Or at least that's what I intended. What do you think? Have you read both of them? Here's the links if you need to buy them and catch up.
Click here to order Murder by the Acre in softcover from Amazon.com.
Click here to order Murder by the Acre in softcover from Lulu.com.
Click here to order Murder by the Acre in hardcover, exclusively from Lulu.com.
Click here to order Murder by the Acre merchandise.
Have a great day!
***
Dialogue with rude customer
Phone rings.
I answer.
Customer: “You haven’t called me with the information I requested. I’ve been waiting for hours.”
Stephen: “I’ve been waiting for your email. I haven’t received it.”
C: “I sent it hours ago.”
S: “Let me check and see if I missed it.”
C: “That’s probably what you did.”
S: “It’s not here.”
C: “Check again. You overlooked it.”
S: “No, sir. It’s not here. What email address did you use?”
C: “What you gave me. I don’t know.”
S: “It’s StephenBagley@mycompany.com.”
C: “That’s where I sent it.”
S: “Did you spell Stephen with a ph?”
C: “No, of course not. What a dumb way to spell Stephen. Where did your parents get that?”
Pause
S: “From the Bible. Stephen was the first Christian martyr.”
C: “Well, who reads that anymore? You should change your name to make it easier for your customers.”
Longer pause
S: “If you’ll resend that email to me, I’ll get you the information you requested.”
C: “I’ll do that, but I want the information as soon as possible. I’ve wasted all day waiting because you didn’t spell your email address to me. What a stupid name.”
Customer hangs up.
Is it any wonder I hate my job sometimes?
***
Dialogue with a friend after a Sunday school class discussion in which the teacher said he agreed with the legislator who said the gay lifestyle was more dangerous than terrorists.
Friend: “Why do you always do that?”
Stephen: “Do what?”
F: “Defend homosexuals.”
S: “What?”
F: “Why didn’t you let it go? Everyone knows our teacher is homophobic. You didn’t have to make it obvious.”
S: “I don’t know why you’re so upset. I wasn’t rude, but I wasn’t going to sit there and let him think I agreed. I’ve yet to see any gay people blowing up buildings.”
F: “You’re always doing that. You always take the liberal side of everything.
S: “Why are you so upset? Did you agree with him?”
F: “Of course not, but … oh forget it.”
S: “I don’t understand.”
F: “No, you don’t. You never do. You never think about the consequences of what you say. Forget it.”
S: “What consequences?”
F: “Every time you defend homosexuals, don’t you realize what people think? They think you’re gay, too.”
S: “I don’t care what they think.”
F: “Yeah, that’s good for you, but what about your friends? People think I’m gay because I’m your friend.”
S: “You’re married!”
F: “Like that matters.”
S: “Do you really care what those people think?”
F: “I have a business here. This is Oklahoma. A rumor gets around like that, and people stop coming in.”
S: “I’m sorry.”
F: “It’s okay.”
S: “But I won’t stop.”
F: “I knew you wouldn’t understand.”
S: “I do understand. I understand perfectly. Being friends with me might cost you business because I won’t keep my big mouth shut. I guess you have to decide if being my friend is worth it. Because I won’t shut up. I can’t. I wish I could, but I can’t. I won’t let my silence be seen as approval. Look, I know you don’t understand why I defend gays and electric cars and Democrats, but I do it because I’m compelled to. Because my conscience says I have to. Because people are too quiet, and they let bad things happen because they won’t speak up and they won’t do what’s right because it costs them. If I don’t speak up, who’s going to?”
F: “There are other people. God didn’t call you to protect them. I want you to think about this: Do you do it because it’s right or because you want the attention?”
S: “I can’t believe you said that. You know better than that. You know better than that!”
F: “Forget it. I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have said anything. You’re my friend. I’m glad you’re my friend.”
S: “I’m glad you’re my friend, too. And I’m sorry if I … embarrass you.”
F: “You don’t. Forget it.”
S: “Forgotten already.”
But it wasn't. I sat in church wondering how long he and his family will continue to be my friends if I keep opening my big mouth.
***
I’ve always found it interesting how stories can change. You think they’re leading one place, but then you find you’re on another path. For instance, when I started writing Murder by the Mile, the third book in the Measurements of Murder Mystery ™ series, I thought it was about an armored car robbery. Turns out I was wrong. The armored car robbery isn’t even mentioned now, and that deletion changed the story quite a bit. No ex-convicts, no driven FBI agents, no hidden money. The only thing that didn’t change was the motive for the murders: revenge.
Fear was the motive in Murder by Dewey Decimal. Greed was the motive in Murder by the Acre. Of course, in both books, other motives got mixed in there, but those two emotions dominated the respective books. Or at least that's what I intended. What do you think? Have you read both of them? Here's the links if you need to buy them and catch up.
Click here to order Murder by the Acre in softcover from Amazon.com.
Click here to order Murder by the Acre in softcover from Lulu.com.
Click here to order Murder by the Acre in hardcover, exclusively from Lulu.com.
Click here to order Murder by the Acre merchandise.
Have a great day!
Monday, January 12, 2009
Walking to Jericho
I've mentioned Walking to Jericho here before. It now has its own website (walkingtojericho.blogspot.com) and I update every other day or so. You might be unsure what it is. Walking to Jericho is a group effort to walk 6884 miles, which happens to be the distance from my town to Jericho.
Yeah, 6884 miles. Seems a lot, but several people -- and their camels -- are participating. In the comments, they list their mileage, and we add it to our total miles traveling. When we don't have any mileage it's because we were riding our camels, and camel miles don't count.
We are also having adventures and will be visiting various cities, real and unreal, as we travel. We are following a Jigmap, which is a dimension folding map that allows us to travel in a non-linear fashion and still reach our goal.
I'm hoping the other participants will also post adventures for us as they get used to our format. And naturally we are still looking for participants. If you'd like to join a caravan to better health, grab your camel and stop by. We'd love to have you traveling with us.
By the way, a good book to take when you're traveling is my latest mystery novel Murder by the Acre. Here are some links to help you get your copy.
Click here to order Murder by the Acre in softcover from Amazon.com.
Click here to order Murder by the Acre in softcover from Lulu.com.
Click here to order Murder by the Acre in hardcover, exclusively from Lulu.com.
Click here to order Murder by the Acre merchandise.
I hope you are doing well. Talk to you later.
Yeah, 6884 miles. Seems a lot, but several people -- and their camels -- are participating. In the comments, they list their mileage, and we add it to our total miles traveling. When we don't have any mileage it's because we were riding our camels, and camel miles don't count.
We are also having adventures and will be visiting various cities, real and unreal, as we travel. We are following a Jigmap, which is a dimension folding map that allows us to travel in a non-linear fashion and still reach our goal.
I'm hoping the other participants will also post adventures for us as they get used to our format. And naturally we are still looking for participants. If you'd like to join a caravan to better health, grab your camel and stop by. We'd love to have you traveling with us.
By the way, a good book to take when you're traveling is my latest mystery novel Murder by the Acre. Here are some links to help you get your copy.
Click here to order Murder by the Acre in softcover from Amazon.com.
Click here to order Murder by the Acre in softcover from Lulu.com.
Click here to order Murder by the Acre in hardcover, exclusively from Lulu.com.
Click here to order Murder by the Acre merchandise.
I hope you are doing well. Talk to you later.
Sunday, January 11, 2009
Not enough
Not enough hours in the stinking day. I've started to feel guilty whenever I take a nap or watch TV or read a book because I have so many things to do on my list. It's nearly midnight, and I'm just now getting ready for bed. Sigh. I have another full day tomorrow. A full week.
What's on the week list so far?
1) Finish the January family newsletter and get it mailed.
2) Walk/exercise every other day.
3) Write at least seven pages on Murder by the Mile.
4) Finish printing the lessons from Holly Lisle's Thinking Sideways online course.
5) Start the first lesson from the course.
6) Eye doctor appointment Friday afternoon (which I have off, thank the good Lord).
7) Housework, housework, housework.
8) File before the papers fall over and kill someone.
9) Continue publicity for Murder by the Acre.
10) Have a nervous breakdown.
11) Blog here and on Walking to Jericho.
12) Facebook some publicity for MBTA, too.
13) Lots of other items I can't bear to think about now.
I'm going to bed. I hope you are, too. Night!
What's on the week list so far?
1) Finish the January family newsletter and get it mailed.
2) Walk/exercise every other day.
3) Write at least seven pages on Murder by the Mile.
4) Finish printing the lessons from Holly Lisle's Thinking Sideways online course.
5) Start the first lesson from the course.
6) Eye doctor appointment Friday afternoon (which I have off, thank the good Lord).
7) Housework, housework, housework.
8) File before the papers fall over and kill someone.
9) Continue publicity for Murder by the Acre.
10) Have a nervous breakdown.
11) Blog here and on Walking to Jericho.
12) Facebook some publicity for MBTA, too.
13) Lots of other items I can't bear to think about now.
I'm going to bed. I hope you are, too. Night!
Friday, January 09, 2009
Watcha been doin'?
Probably you’ve been sick with worry about what I’ve been doing. What is he doing? What is he doing? WHAT IS HE DOING?
Calm down. It’s okay. I’ve been busy. Probably not too busy to post if you come right down to it, but we won’t.
And now you’re wondering what I’ve been up to? What has he been doing? What has he been doing? Why does he keep repeating sentences? Why does he keep repeating sentences? He needs to stop that. He needs to stop that. Stop it! Stop it! I said, stop it! I said, stop it! Sigh. Sigh.
Mostly I’ve been 1) attempting to get healthy 2) attempting to sell a few books and 3) attempting to grow as a human being and embrace the fullness of the universe. The first two are taking quite a bit of time. I got the last one covered, of course, as soon as I started drinking green tea. Without sugar, no less. (Did you hear Kirsten’s mad laughter there?)
It all started with that 30 minutes of exercise that I’m attempting to do every other day. You’d think it only took 30 minutes, but you’d be wrong. First, I have to change into exercise clothes, then I have to drive to the park or the fitness center, then I have to walk 10 minutes, rest for five, walk 10 minutes, rest for five, have a heart attack, just kidding, no, I’m not, my chest is really hurting, a stabbing pain …, no, wait, my “Exercise: A poor person’s plastic surgery” button is sticking me, there, that’s better, walk 10 minutes, stagger to my car, drive home, eat dinner, collapse in front of my computer, no way I can blog considering how I feel, which like a piece of chewing gum that has been chewed until no flavor is left and it’s basically just rubber in your mouth, but you keep chewing like a gum-addicted cow chewing its chewing gum cud.
So my 30 minutes of exercise and recover basically takes a couple of hours. And then I have to write on Murder by the Mile since I foolishly told people it would come out in 2009 when really I meant 2010 and they won't let me back out. Add in laundry, paying bills, dusting, etc., and that’s pretty much takes up every 25 hours in a day.
And that's what I've been doing. What have you been doing? Have you been buying Murder by the Acre? Here, let me help you with some links:
Click here to order Murder by the Acre in softcover from Amazon.com.
Click here to order Murder by the Acre in softcover from Lulu.com.
Click here to order Murder by the Acre in hardcover, exclusively from Lulu.com.
Click here to order Murder by the Acre merchandise.
Calm down. It’s okay. I’ve been busy. Probably not too busy to post if you come right down to it, but we won’t.
And now you’re wondering what I’ve been up to? What has he been doing? What has he been doing? Why does he keep repeating sentences? Why does he keep repeating sentences? He needs to stop that. He needs to stop that. Stop it! Stop it! I said, stop it! I said, stop it! Sigh. Sigh.
Mostly I’ve been 1) attempting to get healthy 2) attempting to sell a few books and 3) attempting to grow as a human being and embrace the fullness of the universe. The first two are taking quite a bit of time. I got the last one covered, of course, as soon as I started drinking green tea. Without sugar, no less. (Did you hear Kirsten’s mad laughter there?)
It all started with that 30 minutes of exercise that I’m attempting to do every other day. You’d think it only took 30 minutes, but you’d be wrong. First, I have to change into exercise clothes, then I have to drive to the park or the fitness center, then I have to walk 10 minutes, rest for five, walk 10 minutes, rest for five, have a heart attack, just kidding, no, I’m not, my chest is really hurting, a stabbing pain …, no, wait, my “Exercise: A poor person’s plastic surgery” button is sticking me, there, that’s better, walk 10 minutes, stagger to my car, drive home, eat dinner, collapse in front of my computer, no way I can blog considering how I feel, which like a piece of chewing gum that has been chewed until no flavor is left and it’s basically just rubber in your mouth, but you keep chewing like a gum-addicted cow chewing its chewing gum cud.
So my 30 minutes of exercise and recover basically takes a couple of hours. And then I have to write on Murder by the Mile since I foolishly told people it would come out in 2009 when really I meant 2010 and they won't let me back out. Add in laundry, paying bills, dusting, etc., and that’s pretty much takes up every 25 hours in a day.
And that's what I've been doing. What have you been doing? Have you been buying Murder by the Acre? Here, let me help you with some links:
Click here to order Murder by the Acre in softcover from Amazon.com.
Click here to order Murder by the Acre in softcover from Lulu.com.
Click here to order Murder by the Acre in hardcover, exclusively from Lulu.com.
Click here to order Murder by the Acre merchandise.
Monday, January 05, 2009
Some people
Some people can’t be helped. Agree or disagree?
I’ve come to the conclusion that some people won’t allow themselves to be helped. Plenty of help is offered, but they have chosen to be miserable. They keep doing the same thing over and over again and expecting a different result even though experience should tell them what they’re doing will never work. Until they choose differently, we can't save them or help them.
Some people are lazy and want someone else to do all the rescue work. Agree or disagree?
I’m out of the rescue business. Used to be that I’d throw myself into another person’s problems and hold their head above water and try to drag them to shore. That’s over. Oh, I still won’t let you drown, but you better be kicking your feet and moving your arms and trying to save yourself. We all need a little help in this world, but I’m not going to let you drag me to the bottom. And if I have to kick you in the face to make you let go, I will.
Some people would rather whine about their problems than take any positive steps to solve them. Agree or disagree?
Listen, I’ve been there. I’ve whined about my weight for years and years. That’s changed. I’m going to whine about exercise now. I’m going to tell how my legs felt after I walked a mile Thursday and Saturday. (Like they were going to fall off.) I’m going to tell you how much I ached the next morning just trying to get out of bed. I’m going to tell you how it takes time, precious time that I could be spending on my writing or other productive projects, but instead I’m at the park or on my street or at the fitness center putting one foot in front of the other and saying silently to myself, ‘Right, left, right, left, don’t forget to breathe, right, left, right, left, you can do this, right, left, right, left, it will get easier, right, left, right, left, oh Lord help me, right, left, right, left …” and repeat for thirty minutes or I reach a mile or have a heart attack. That's what I'm going to whine about now. My point, such as it is, is that I'm going to be whining about the solution instead of the problem. I think that's progress.
Some people have dined so long on negatively that they can’t recognize a feast when it’s set before them. Agree or disagree?
Been there, done that. Don’t want to be there anymore. When did the ability to be negative and snarky become the earmarks of intelligence? We’re good at tearing each other down. Maybe it’s time we learned better. I won’t ever be Pollyanna -- for one thing, I don’t have legs or curls for it -- but I don’t have to be Snidely Whiplash, either. Somewhere between, I expect.
Some people will take this as an attack on their lives. Agree or disagree?
Well, maybe they should. I don't have anyone in particular in mind, but if they can see themselves in it, perhaps it's for them. Mostly it's reminders for me. I have to take positive steps to change my life in a positive way. I need positive, encouraging people around me, people who believe in me and in themselves. We can make our lives better. Don't you want a better life? I know I do. And it's time to have it.
Some people haven't bought Murder by the Acre yet and they should. Agree or agree?
Click here to order Murder by the Acre in softcover from Amazon.com.
Click here to order Murder by the Acre in softcover from Lulu.com.
Click here to order Murder by the Acre in hardcover, exclusively from Lulu.com.
Click here to order Murder by the Acre merchandise.
I’ve come to the conclusion that some people won’t allow themselves to be helped. Plenty of help is offered, but they have chosen to be miserable. They keep doing the same thing over and over again and expecting a different result even though experience should tell them what they’re doing will never work. Until they choose differently, we can't save them or help them.
Some people are lazy and want someone else to do all the rescue work. Agree or disagree?
I’m out of the rescue business. Used to be that I’d throw myself into another person’s problems and hold their head above water and try to drag them to shore. That’s over. Oh, I still won’t let you drown, but you better be kicking your feet and moving your arms and trying to save yourself. We all need a little help in this world, but I’m not going to let you drag me to the bottom. And if I have to kick you in the face to make you let go, I will.
Some people would rather whine about their problems than take any positive steps to solve them. Agree or disagree?
Listen, I’ve been there. I’ve whined about my weight for years and years. That’s changed. I’m going to whine about exercise now. I’m going to tell how my legs felt after I walked a mile Thursday and Saturday. (Like they were going to fall off.) I’m going to tell you how much I ached the next morning just trying to get out of bed. I’m going to tell you how it takes time, precious time that I could be spending on my writing or other productive projects, but instead I’m at the park or on my street or at the fitness center putting one foot in front of the other and saying silently to myself, ‘Right, left, right, left, don’t forget to breathe, right, left, right, left, you can do this, right, left, right, left, it will get easier, right, left, right, left, oh Lord help me, right, left, right, left …” and repeat for thirty minutes or I reach a mile or have a heart attack. That's what I'm going to whine about now. My point, such as it is, is that I'm going to be whining about the solution instead of the problem. I think that's progress.
Some people have dined so long on negatively that they can’t recognize a feast when it’s set before them. Agree or disagree?
Been there, done that. Don’t want to be there anymore. When did the ability to be negative and snarky become the earmarks of intelligence? We’re good at tearing each other down. Maybe it’s time we learned better. I won’t ever be Pollyanna -- for one thing, I don’t have legs or curls for it -- but I don’t have to be Snidely Whiplash, either. Somewhere between, I expect.
Some people will take this as an attack on their lives. Agree or disagree?
Well, maybe they should. I don't have anyone in particular in mind, but if they can see themselves in it, perhaps it's for them. Mostly it's reminders for me. I have to take positive steps to change my life in a positive way. I need positive, encouraging people around me, people who believe in me and in themselves. We can make our lives better. Don't you want a better life? I know I do. And it's time to have it.
Some people haven't bought Murder by the Acre yet and they should. Agree or agree?
Click here to order Murder by the Acre in softcover from Amazon.com.
Click here to order Murder by the Acre in softcover from Lulu.com.
Click here to order Murder by the Acre in hardcover, exclusively from Lulu.com.
Click here to order Murder by the Acre merchandise.
Saturday, January 03, 2009
Saturday update
Still on track for my 365 Alive program, but hey, I should be. It's only the third day. As part of the physical program, I've restarted Walking to Jericho. It has its own site now (www.walkingtojericho.blogspot.com). Stop by and join us or just leave a comment of encouragement. Other than walking another mile, something I'll go into more detail about tomorrow, I only did a bit of housework and some reading today.
It's late, and I'm all out. I hope things are going well for you. Are they? Talk to you tomorrow.
It's late, and I'm all out. I hope things are going well for you. Are they? Talk to you tomorrow.
Thursday, January 01, 2009
365 Alive
Happy New Year! It's my sincere hope that 2009 will bring you and yours the blessings of health, wealth, and happiness!
Today I started my 365 Alive program. What is it? Every day, for 365 days, I will do one of five things:
1) Walk 30 minutes or do other comparable exercise for that length of time. I have to get healthy and get my diabetes under control before it kills me or does more damage than it already has. I will also continue the Potato Famine and Walking to Jericho and soon add the Soft Drink Famine.
2) Promote my books: Murder by the Acre, Murder by Dewey Decimal, Endless, and the forthcoming Murder by the Mile and/or work on my other writings at least 30 minutes a day. It's time for me to get real about the dream.
3) Deepen my spiritual life by reading the Bible. I'm starting in the New Testament and going to read it all the way through in 2009. It's been years since I've undertaken such a study. Time to do it again.
4) Continue to make positive steps on my debt reduction plan.
a) It is within my grasp to pay off my last two credit cards this year. (This might not be possible due to the medical bills I'm currently having to incur, but I'm only using one card to pay those so I can pay off the other one.)
b) I will also work on building a six-month emergency fund.
c) I will continue to work on getting health insurance. Surely somewhere there's some company who take a diabetic. I know it will help if I get my weight and blood sugar under control. I'll just keep trying.
d) I will stop being afraid of success. More on this in the months ahead as I wrestle with this issue.
5) To be arranged. I'm sure there will be some other issue that I will need to deal with. I'm leaving room for it to be put in place.
There you have my 365 Alive plan. I bought a daily planner and am in the process of writing a "To Do" item on each day. What do you think of my plan? And what are your resolutions for the new year? Talk to you later!
Oh, before I forget, here's a couple of places where you can buy my latest murder mystery novel Murder by the Acre. Do you have your copy yet?
Click here to order Murder by the Acre in softcover.
Click here to order Murder by the Acre in hardcover.
Click here to order Murder by the Acre merchandise.
Today I started my 365 Alive program. What is it? Every day, for 365 days, I will do one of five things:
1) Walk 30 minutes or do other comparable exercise for that length of time. I have to get healthy and get my diabetes under control before it kills me or does more damage than it already has. I will also continue the Potato Famine and Walking to Jericho and soon add the Soft Drink Famine.
2) Promote my books: Murder by the Acre, Murder by Dewey Decimal, Endless, and the forthcoming Murder by the Mile and/or work on my other writings at least 30 minutes a day. It's time for me to get real about the dream.
3) Deepen my spiritual life by reading the Bible. I'm starting in the New Testament and going to read it all the way through in 2009. It's been years since I've undertaken such a study. Time to do it again.
4) Continue to make positive steps on my debt reduction plan.
a) It is within my grasp to pay off my last two credit cards this year. (This might not be possible due to the medical bills I'm currently having to incur, but I'm only using one card to pay those so I can pay off the other one.)
b) I will also work on building a six-month emergency fund.
c) I will continue to work on getting health insurance. Surely somewhere there's some company who take a diabetic. I know it will help if I get my weight and blood sugar under control. I'll just keep trying.
d) I will stop being afraid of success. More on this in the months ahead as I wrestle with this issue.
5) To be arranged. I'm sure there will be some other issue that I will need to deal with. I'm leaving room for it to be put in place.
There you have my 365 Alive plan. I bought a daily planner and am in the process of writing a "To Do" item on each day. What do you think of my plan? And what are your resolutions for the new year? Talk to you later!
Oh, before I forget, here's a couple of places where you can buy my latest murder mystery novel Murder by the Acre. Do you have your copy yet?
Click here to order Murder by the Acre in softcover.
Click here to order Murder by the Acre in hardcover.
Click here to order Murder by the Acre merchandise.
Monday, December 29, 2008
Movie meme: I have no life!
Supposedly if you've seen more than 85 of these films, you have no life. Mark the ones you've seen. There are 239 films on this list. Copy this list, then put x's next to the films you've seen, and add them up. I tag Michelle, Jean, Adam, Jolene, and Kirsten. Have fun.
(x) Rocky Horror Picture Show
(x) Grease
(x) Pirates of the Caribbean
(x) Pirates of the Caribbean 2: Dead Man's Chest
() Boondock Saints
() Fight Club
() Starsky and Hutch
(x) Neverending Story
(x)Blazing Saddles
(x) Airplane
Total: 7
(x) The Princess Bride
() Anchorman
() Napoleon Dynamite
(x) Labyrinth
() Saw
() Saw II
() White Noise
() White Oleander
() Anger Management
() 50 First Dates
() The Princess Diaries
() The Princess Diaries 2: Royal Engagement
Total so far: 9
(x) Scream
(x) Scream 2
(x) Scream 3
(x) Scary Movie
(x) Scary Movie 2
(x) Scary Movie 3
(x) Scary Movie 4
() American Pie
() American Pie 2
() American Wedding
() American Pie Band Camp
Total so far: 16
(x) Harry Potter 1
(x) Harry Potter 2
(x) Harry Potter 3
(x) Harry Potter 4
(x) Resident Evil 1
(x) Resident Evil 2
() The Wedding Singer
() Little Black Book
() The Village
(x) Lilo & Stitch
Total so far: 23
(x) Finding Nemo
() Finding Neverland
(x) Signs
() The Grinch
() Texas Chainsaw Massacre
() Texas Chainsaw Massacre: The Beginning
() White Chicks
() Butterfly Effect
() 13 Going on 30
(x) I, Robot
(x) Robots
Total so far: 27
(x) Dodgeball: A True Underdog Story
(x) Universal Soldier
(x) Lemony Snicket: A Series Of Unfortunate Events
() Along Came Polly
(x) Deep Impact
(x) KingPin
() Never Been Kissed
() Meet The Parents
() Meet the Fockers
() Eight Crazy Nights
() Joe Dirt
(x) KING KONG
Total so far: 33
() A Cinderella Story
() The Terminal
() The Lizzie McGuire Movie
() Passport to Paris
() Dumb & Dumber
() Dumber & Dumberer
() Final Destination
() Final Destination 2
() Final Destination 3
(x) Halloween
() The Ring
() The Ring 2
(x) Surviving X-MAS
(x) Flubber
Total so far: 36
() Harold & Kumar Go To White Castle
(x) Practical Magic
(x) Chicago
() Ghost Ship
() From Hell
(x) Hellboy
() Secret Window
() I Am Sam
() The Whole Nine Yards
() The Whole Ten Yards
Total so far: 39
(x) The Day After Tomorrow
() Child's Play
() Seed of Chucky
() Bride of Chucky
() Ten Things I Hate About You
() Just Married
() Gothika
() Nightmare on Elm Street
(x) Sixteen Candles
(x) Remember the Titans
() Coach Carter
() The Grudge
() The Grudge 2
() The Mask
() Son Of The Mask
Total so far: 42
() Bad Boys
() Bad Boys 2
() Joy Ride
() Lucky Number Slevin
(x) Ocean's Eleven
(x) Ocean's Twelve
(x) Bourne Identity
(x) Bourne Supremecy
() Lone Star
() Bedazzled
(x) Predator I
(x) Predator II
() The Fog
(x) Ice Age
(x) Ice Age 2: The Meltdown
(x) Curious George
Total so far: 51
(x) Cujo
() A Bronx Tale
() Darkness Falls
(x) Christine
(x) ET
(x) Children of the Corn
() My Bosses Daughter
() Maid in Manhattan
(x) War of the Worlds
(x) Rush Hour
(x) Rush Hour 2
Total so far: 58
() Best Bet
() How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days
() She's All That
() Calendar Girls
() Sideways
() Mars Attacks
(x) Event Horizon
(x) Ever After
(x) Wizard of Oz
(x) Forrest Gump
(x) Big Trouble in Little China
(X) The Terminator
(x) The Terminator 2
(x) The Terminator 3
Total so far: 66
(x) X-Men
(x) X-2
(x) X-3
(x) Spider-Man
(x) Spider-Man 2
() Sky High
() Jeepers Creepers
() Jeepers Creepers 2
() Catch Me If You Can
() The Little Mermaid
() Freaky Friday
(x) Reign of Fire
() The Skulls
(x) Cruel Intentions
() Cruel Intentions 2
() The Hot Chick
(x) Shrek
(x) Shrek 2
Total so far: 75
() Swimfan
(x) Miracle on 34th street
(x) Old School
() The Notebook
() K-Pax
() Krippendorf's Tribe
() A Walk to Remember
() Ice Castles
() Boogeyman
() The 40-year-old Virgin
Total so far: 77
(x) Lord of the Rings Fellowship of the Ring
(x) Lord of the Rings The Two Towers
(x) Lord of the Rings Return Of the King
(x) Indiana Jones and the Raiders of the Lost Ark
(X) Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom
(X) Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade
Total so far: 83
() Baseketball
() Hostel
() Waiting for Guffman
() House of 1000 Corpses
() Devils Rejects
(x) Elf
(x) Highlander
() Mothman Prophecies
() American History X
() Three
Total so Far: 85
(x) Titanic
(x) Monty Python and the Holy Grail
(x) Shaun Of the Dead
() Willard
Total so far: 88
() High Tension
() Club Dread
(x) Hulk
(x) Dawn Of the Dead
(X) Hook
(x) Chronicles Of Narnia: The Lion the Witch and the Wardrobe
() 28 days later
() Orgazmo
() Phantasm
(x) Waterworld
Total so far: 93
(x) Kill Bill vol 1
(x) Kill Bill vol 2
(x) Mortal Kombat
() Wolf Creek
() Kingdom of Heaven
() the Hills Have Eyes
() I Spit on Your Grave aka the Day of the Woman
() The Last House on the Left
() Re-Animator
(x) Army of Darkness
Total so far: 97
(x) Star Wars Ep. I The Phantom Menace
(x) Star Wars Ep. II Attack of the Clones
(x) Star Wars Ep. III Revenge of the Sith
(X) Star Wars Ep. IV A New Hope
(X) Star Wars Ep. V The Empire Strikes Back
(X) Star Wars Ep. VI Return of the Jedi
() Ewoks Caravan Of Courage
(x) Ewoks The Battle For Endor
Total so far: 104
(x) The Matrix
(x) The Matrix Reloaded
(x) The Matrix Revolutions
() Animatrix
() Evil Dead
() Evil Dead 2
() Team America: World Police
() Red Dragon
(x) Silence of the Lambs
() Hannibal
Grand Total: 108
So it's official: I have no life. And what probably makes it worse is that I've seen almost all of these movies in my living room. I rarely go to the theater.
Hope the day is treating you well. Bye!
(x) Rocky Horror Picture Show
(x) Grease
(x) Pirates of the Caribbean
(x) Pirates of the Caribbean 2: Dead Man's Chest
() Boondock Saints
() Fight Club
() Starsky and Hutch
(x) Neverending Story
(x)Blazing Saddles
(x) Airplane
Total: 7
(x) The Princess Bride
() Anchorman
() Napoleon Dynamite
(x) Labyrinth
() Saw
() Saw II
() White Noise
() White Oleander
() Anger Management
() 50 First Dates
() The Princess Diaries
() The Princess Diaries 2: Royal Engagement
Total so far: 9
(x) Scream
(x) Scream 2
(x) Scream 3
(x) Scary Movie
(x) Scary Movie 2
(x) Scary Movie 3
(x) Scary Movie 4
() American Pie
() American Pie 2
() American Wedding
() American Pie Band Camp
Total so far: 16
(x) Harry Potter 1
(x) Harry Potter 2
(x) Harry Potter 3
(x) Harry Potter 4
(x) Resident Evil 1
(x) Resident Evil 2
() The Wedding Singer
() Little Black Book
() The Village
(x) Lilo & Stitch
Total so far: 23
(x) Finding Nemo
() Finding Neverland
(x) Signs
() The Grinch
() Texas Chainsaw Massacre
() Texas Chainsaw Massacre: The Beginning
() White Chicks
() Butterfly Effect
() 13 Going on 30
(x) I, Robot
(x) Robots
Total so far: 27
(x) Dodgeball: A True Underdog Story
(x) Universal Soldier
(x) Lemony Snicket: A Series Of Unfortunate Events
() Along Came Polly
(x) Deep Impact
(x) KingPin
() Never Been Kissed
() Meet The Parents
() Meet the Fockers
() Eight Crazy Nights
() Joe Dirt
(x) KING KONG
Total so far: 33
() A Cinderella Story
() The Terminal
() The Lizzie McGuire Movie
() Passport to Paris
() Dumb & Dumber
() Dumber & Dumberer
() Final Destination
() Final Destination 2
() Final Destination 3
(x) Halloween
() The Ring
() The Ring 2
(x) Surviving X-MAS
(x) Flubber
Total so far: 36
() Harold & Kumar Go To White Castle
(x) Practical Magic
(x) Chicago
() Ghost Ship
() From Hell
(x) Hellboy
() Secret Window
() I Am Sam
() The Whole Nine Yards
() The Whole Ten Yards
Total so far: 39
(x) The Day After Tomorrow
() Child's Play
() Seed of Chucky
() Bride of Chucky
() Ten Things I Hate About You
() Just Married
() Gothika
() Nightmare on Elm Street
(x) Sixteen Candles
(x) Remember the Titans
() Coach Carter
() The Grudge
() The Grudge 2
() The Mask
() Son Of The Mask
Total so far: 42
() Bad Boys
() Bad Boys 2
() Joy Ride
() Lucky Number Slevin
(x) Ocean's Eleven
(x) Ocean's Twelve
(x) Bourne Identity
(x) Bourne Supremecy
() Lone Star
() Bedazzled
(x) Predator I
(x) Predator II
() The Fog
(x) Ice Age
(x) Ice Age 2: The Meltdown
(x) Curious George
Total so far: 51
(x) Cujo
() A Bronx Tale
() Darkness Falls
(x) Christine
(x) ET
(x) Children of the Corn
() My Bosses Daughter
() Maid in Manhattan
(x) War of the Worlds
(x) Rush Hour
(x) Rush Hour 2
Total so far: 58
() Best Bet
() How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days
() She's All That
() Calendar Girls
() Sideways
() Mars Attacks
(x) Event Horizon
(x) Ever After
(x) Wizard of Oz
(x) Forrest Gump
(x) Big Trouble in Little China
(X) The Terminator
(x) The Terminator 2
(x) The Terminator 3
Total so far: 66
(x) X-Men
(x) X-2
(x) X-3
(x) Spider-Man
(x) Spider-Man 2
() Sky High
() Jeepers Creepers
() Jeepers Creepers 2
() Catch Me If You Can
() The Little Mermaid
() Freaky Friday
(x) Reign of Fire
() The Skulls
(x) Cruel Intentions
() Cruel Intentions 2
() The Hot Chick
(x) Shrek
(x) Shrek 2
Total so far: 75
() Swimfan
(x) Miracle on 34th street
(x) Old School
() The Notebook
() K-Pax
() Krippendorf's Tribe
() A Walk to Remember
() Ice Castles
() Boogeyman
() The 40-year-old Virgin
Total so far: 77
(x) Lord of the Rings Fellowship of the Ring
(x) Lord of the Rings The Two Towers
(x) Lord of the Rings Return Of the King
(x) Indiana Jones and the Raiders of the Lost Ark
(X) Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom
(X) Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade
Total so far: 83
() Baseketball
() Hostel
() Waiting for Guffman
() House of 1000 Corpses
() Devils Rejects
(x) Elf
(x) Highlander
() Mothman Prophecies
() American History X
() Three
Total so Far: 85
(x) Titanic
(x) Monty Python and the Holy Grail
(x) Shaun Of the Dead
() Willard
Total so far: 88
() High Tension
() Club Dread
(x) Hulk
(x) Dawn Of the Dead
(X) Hook
(x) Chronicles Of Narnia: The Lion the Witch and the Wardrobe
() 28 days later
() Orgazmo
() Phantasm
(x) Waterworld
Total so far: 93
(x) Kill Bill vol 1
(x) Kill Bill vol 2
(x) Mortal Kombat
() Wolf Creek
() Kingdom of Heaven
() the Hills Have Eyes
() I Spit on Your Grave aka the Day of the Woman
() The Last House on the Left
() Re-Animator
(x) Army of Darkness
Total so far: 97
(x) Star Wars Ep. I The Phantom Menace
(x) Star Wars Ep. II Attack of the Clones
(x) Star Wars Ep. III Revenge of the Sith
(X) Star Wars Ep. IV A New Hope
(X) Star Wars Ep. V The Empire Strikes Back
(X) Star Wars Ep. VI Return of the Jedi
() Ewoks Caravan Of Courage
(x) Ewoks The Battle For Endor
Total so far: 104
(x) The Matrix
(x) The Matrix Reloaded
(x) The Matrix Revolutions
() Animatrix
() Evil Dead
() Evil Dead 2
() Team America: World Police
() Red Dragon
(x) Silence of the Lambs
() Hannibal
Grand Total: 108
So it's official: I have no life. And what probably makes it worse is that I've seen almost all of these movies in my living room. I rarely go to the theater.
Hope the day is treating you well. Bye!
Sunday, December 28, 2008
Catching up a bit
Did you have a good Christmas? Mine was. Not perfect, of course. Illness, delays, etc., but it was still good despite everything. Or maybe because. My family came to see me, and we had a good visit.
I sure have enjoyed not being at work, but I return to what I affectionately call "the hell-hole" tomorrow. Whee. Somehow I am able to contain my joy.
Not much else to tell you. I've been working on a project that I've named "365 Days." Basically I'm attempting to write a list of one positive thing a day to do. These include: publicity for my books, weight loss activities, writing, improving my financial status, etc. You'd be surprised how hard it is to figure out 365 different things to do. Of course, some of them will be repeats, but for the most part, new and different each day. We'll see how that goes.
Walking to Jericho has stalled presently, but I'm going to restart it on January 1st. We'll see how many miles we can make in 2009. I hope the other participants join me again. It would be cool to get healthy together.
I'm on Facebook now. I'm not sure I mentioned that before. If you're on there, friend me! I'm also on Twitter, but I'm not sure how long I will be there. Seems to require a bit too much information, and I don't have that many interesting things happen to me during a day.
I guess that will be it for this evening. Have a great evening!
I sure have enjoyed not being at work, but I return to what I affectionately call "the hell-hole" tomorrow. Whee. Somehow I am able to contain my joy.
Not much else to tell you. I've been working on a project that I've named "365 Days." Basically I'm attempting to write a list of one positive thing a day to do. These include: publicity for my books, weight loss activities, writing, improving my financial status, etc. You'd be surprised how hard it is to figure out 365 different things to do. Of course, some of them will be repeats, but for the most part, new and different each day. We'll see how that goes.
Walking to Jericho has stalled presently, but I'm going to restart it on January 1st. We'll see how many miles we can make in 2009. I hope the other participants join me again. It would be cool to get healthy together.
I'm on Facebook now. I'm not sure I mentioned that before. If you're on there, friend me! I'm also on Twitter, but I'm not sure how long I will be there. Seems to require a bit too much information, and I don't have that many interesting things happen to me during a day.
I guess that will be it for this evening. Have a great evening!
Thursday, December 25, 2008
Merry Christmas!
Merry Christmas to you all!
I have to travel today so I won't be here until this evening if then. If you have to travel, be safe and be happy!
The Christmas Story
Luke 2:1 And it came to pass in those days, that there went out a decree from Caesar Augustus, that all the world should be taxed.
2:2 (And this taxing was first made when Cyrenius was governor of Syria.)
2:3 And all went to be taxed, every one into his own city.
2:4 And Joseph also went up from Galilee, out of the city of Nazareth, into Judaea, unto the city of David, which is called Bethlehem; (because he was of the house and lineage of David:)
2:5 To be taxed with Mary his espoused wife, being great with Child.
2:6 And so it was, that, while they were there, the days were accomplished that she should be delivered.
2:7 And she brought forth her firstborn Son, and wrapped Him in swaddling clothes, and laid Him in a manger; because there was no room for them in the inn.
2:8 And there were in the same country shepherds abiding in the field, keeping watch over their flock by night.
2:9 And, lo, the angel of the LORD came upon them, and the glory of the LORD shone round about them: and they were sore afraid.
2:10 And the angel said unto them, Fear not: for, behold, I bring you good tidings of great joy, which shall be to all people.
2:11 For unto you is born this day in the city of David a Saviour, which is Christ the LORD.
2:12 And this shall be a sign unto you; Ye shall find the Babe wrapped in swaddling clothes, lying in a manger.
2:13 And suddenly there was with the angel a multitude of the heavenly host praising God, and saying,
2:14 Glory to God in the highest, and on earth peace, good will toward men.
2:15 And it came to pass, as the angels were gone away from them into Heaven, the shepherds said one to another, Let us now go even unto Bethlehem, and see this thing which is come to pass, which the LORD hath made known unto us.
2:16 And they came with haste, and found Mary, and Joseph, and the Babe lying in a manger.
2:17 And when they had seen it, they made known abroad the saying which was told them concerning this Child.
2:18 And all they that heard it wondered at those things which were told them by the shepherds.
2:19 But Mary kept all these things, and pondered them in her heart.
2:20 And the shepherds returned, glorifying and praising God for all the things that they had heard and seen, as it was told unto them.
2:21 And when eight days were accomplished for the circumcising of the Child, His Name was called JESUS, which was so named of the angel before He was conceived in the womb.
Matthew 2:1 Now when Jesus was born in Bethlehem of Judea in the days of Herod the king, behold, there came wise men from the east to Jerusalem,
2:2 saying, Where is he that is born King of the Jews? for we have seen his star in the east, and are come to worship him.
2:3 When Herod the king had heard these things, he was troubled, and all Jerusalem with him.
2:4 And when he had gathered all the chief priests and scribes of the people together, he demanded of them where Christ should be born.
2:5 And they said unto him, In Bethlehem of Judea: for thus it is written by the prophet,
2:6 And thou Bethlehem, in the land of Judah, art not the least among the princes of Judah:
for out of thee shall come a Governor, that shall rule my people Israel.
2:7 Then Herod, when he had privily called the wise men, inquired of them diligently what time the star appeared.
2:8 And he sent them to Bethlehem, and said, Go and search diligently for the young child; and when ye have found him, bring me word again, that I may come and worship him also.
2:9 When they had heard the king, they departed; and, lo, the star, which they saw in the east, went before them, till it came and stood over where the young child was.
2:10 When they saw the star, they rejoiced with exceeding great joy.
2:11 And when they were come into the house, they saw the young child with Mary his mother, and fell down, and worshipped him: and when they had opened their treasures, they presented unto him gifts; gold, and frankincense, and myrrh.
A Christmas Prayer
We thank you for this place in which we dwell,
for the love that unites us,
for the peace accorded us this day,
for the hope with which we expect the morrow,
for the work, the health, the food,
and the bright skies which make our lives delightful
for our friends in all parts of the earth.
By Robert Louis Stevenson (1850-1894).
12 Factoids About Christmas
1. One acre of living Christmas trees generates enough oxygen to meet the daily requirement for 18 humans. Approximately 1,000,000 acres are used to grow Christmas trees yearly.
2. The top six Christmas tree producing states are: Oregon, Michigan, Washington, Wisconsin, Pennsylvania and North Carolina. About 30,000,000 trees are harvested in an average year. Two to three Christmas trees are planted for every one harvested.
3. Mango and banana trees are Christmas symbols in India, where Christians use mango leaves for holiday decorations.
4. The poinsettia is named for the first U.S. ambassador to Mexico, botanist Joel Roberts Poinsett. Poinsett introduced the plant that would become known as poinsettia into the United States in 1829.
5. The word yule, from Middle English, means "to cry aloud."
6. More than 3 billion Christmas cards are mailed each year in the United States.
7. With some 50,000,000 copies sold so far and still climbing, Irving Berlin's "White Christmas," recorded in 1942 by Bing Crosby, is still the best-selling single in history.
8. Geographically speaking, the North Pole is the point on Earth that is the true top of the planet where all lines of longitude converge. The Geomagnetic North Pole is the point on the Earth that marks the northern focus of the geomagnetic field that surrounds the globe. It lies in Greenland, 78 degrees 30 minutes North, 69 degrees West. Compasses, however, point to the Magnetic North Pole, which is about 1,000 miles south of the geographic North Pole, near Ellef Ringness Island in northern Canada. A lesser-known North Pole, the Northern Pole of Inaccessibility, represents the furtherest point in all directions from any coastline. About 700 miles from the nearest land, this pole is located north of Alaska at 84 degrees 03 minutes North, 174 degrees 51 minutes West. By the way, illustrator Thomas Nast was the first to put Santa Clause's home at the North Pole. In 1882, he drew Santa sitting on a box labeled, "Christmas Box 1882, St. Nicholas, North Pole."
9. There are about 5,000,000 reindeer in the world. They are threatened by habitat loss and global warming and are seeing their population drop yearly.
10. Making popcorn garlands is one of the few Christmas traditions born in the United States.
11. The post office handles more than 70,000 letters each year addressed to Santa at the North Pole.
12. The Twelve Days of Christmas traditionally started on Christmas. Many European counties still keep this tradition, particularly parts of Spain and France.
Sources: The Christmas Almanac, The National Arbor Day Foundation, The Association of Popcorn Producers, The United States Postal Service and MTV News.
By Stephen B. Bagley
It
does
not seem
much against
the darkness of this world:
one light in a midnight sky, a pinpoint
of illumination seen by Magi and lonely shepherds.
Yet, strange as it seems, nothing has
let us see as clearly as He
alone heralded
by that one
Christmas
Star.
© 2008 by Stephen B. Bagley. All rights reserved.
Carol of the Bells
Hark! how the bells, sweet silver bells
All seem to say, throw cares away.
Christmas is here, bringing good cheer
To young and old, meek and the bold
Ding, dong, ding, dong, that is their song,
With joyful ring, all caroling
One seems to hear words of good cheer
From everywhere, filling the air
O, how they pound, raising the sound
O’er hill and dale, telling their tale
Gaily they ring, while people sing
Songs of good cheer, Christmas is here!
Merry, merry, merry, merry Christmas!
Merry, merry, merry, merry Christmas!
On, on they send, on without end
Their joyful tone to every home
Hark! how the bells, sweet silver bells
All seem to say, throw cares away.
Christmas is here, bringing good cheer
To young and old, meek and the bold
Ding, dong, ding, dong, that is their song
With joyful ring, all caroling.
One seems to hear words of good cheer
From everywhere, filling the air
O, how they pound, raising the sound
O’er hill and dale, telling their tale
Gaily they ring, while people sing
Songs of good cheer, Christmas is here!
Merry, merry, merry, merry Christmas!
Merry, merry, merry, merry Christmas!
On, on they send, on without end
Their joyful tone to every home.
Ding dong ding dong
Here it is beautifully performed by the Tucson Boys Choir.
And now I have to get ready to go. Take care. Have a wonderful day!
Wednesday, December 24, 2008
HSCC VII
Tales from Bethlehem:
The Tale of the Honest Spy
By Stephen B. Bagley
I am Manius Cassius Dentatus, and I am a citizen spy. Perhaps you are from some far reaches of the Empire and are not familiar with spies in general and citizen spies in particular. A quick précis: Spies discover hidden information and share it with their employer, usually for the government or the military. Citizen spies also discover hidden information and share it with their employer, but that employer is any citizen with enough coin.
Many spies exist in Judaea. Most are employed by King Herod or by his many enemies. I myself once served Herod, but when he started killing his wives and sons and anyone else whom he thought might be conspiring against him or could possibly conspire against him sometime in the future, I thought it prudent to find another way to place coins in my pouch.
Many noble citizens have need of my services. They seek to know if their wife is dallying with a slave boy or if their partner is actually selling the bushels of dates that he is reporting as spoiled or if their accountant is keeping the books as he should. What I do is find out. And I am known for my honesty. I report what I find, no more, no less. I am careful with this. I am not cheap in my services, and so I work to be worthy of my wages.
This is not to say I don’t have a price, but no one has offered it so far. Thus when I give reports, my employers listen. They might not like what they hear, but that is not my concern. My concern is the coin. That is my only concern. Understand that: I am honest because it allows me to charge more, not because I am seeking favor or reward. If there are gods, they do not concern me. But like most reasonable men, I do not think they exist. I have never seen a miracle from Jupiter or any of his quarrelsome children or their priests. In fact, I’d rather share a cup with a slave who knows how to do a good day’s work in the vineyards than with some foppish priest with his dirty robes and stinky incense.
So when Sextus Gabinius, the chief spymaster for King Herod, summoned me to his chambers in Herodium and told me what Herod sought from me, I was displeased for reasons trice. First, that the King had requested my services once again — you did not refuse a summons unless you wished to land on his enemy list. Second, Herod was notoriously slow paying. Third, it involved religion and even worse, the Jews.
I wondered briefly if I could claim to have the flux, but Gabinius’s stony face convinced me otherwise.
“So, noble Gabinius, what Jews am I following?” I asked. “Another group attempting to overthrow our good King Herod?” The slight twist I gave my words was not lost on the spymaster.
He favored me with a sour smile. “Not Jews,” he said. “Magi. Wise men.”
My face expressed my disbelief better than any words. Gabinius barked a short laugh.
“Our gracious King received visitors from the East,” Gabinius drawled. “They claimed to be following signs that herald the birth of a new Jewish king here in Judaea.”
I sat up straight on that. Herod, the self-styled King of the Jews, had murdered his own sons to protect his Roman-given throne. He would not receive this news gladly. If those wise men had been truly wise, they would have known better than to visit his palace.
Gabinius nodded at my reaction. “Exactly.” He drained his wine cup.
“How did our King receive that news?” I asked.
“Strangely calm,” Gabinius said. “Abnormally so. He offered them rooms for the night and sent for you. He intends to let them leave tomorrow with his ‘blessings.’ You will follow and report on their journey, particularly if they find a newborn king.”
“You can’t be serious!” I said. Surely even Herod wasn’t so far gone in his madness to believe in such tales.
“Our King is always serious these days,” Gabinius said with a smirk. “Deadly serious. I suggest you take the same attitude.” He tossed a small purse to me. The coins inside made a pleasant weight. “I want a full accounting.”
“Of course, noble sir,” I said and bowed too deeply. He laughed.
The next day, I was outside Jerusalem following a caravan. Or actually not following. Apparently these Magi traveled in the evening so they could see the heavens. I bought several cups of wine for one of their servants in a local tavern. This worthy supplied me with the names of the three main Magi: old white-bearded Melchior, red-hued young Gaspar, and ebony skinned Balthazar. They were astronomers who studied the stars and old scrolls seeking eternal truths. Although I pressed their servant, he steadfastly maintained that they were not frauds, that they did not peddle tricks to the unlearned and naive for coin. I sighed. Nothing was more annoying than fanatics. Who knew how long these madmen would wander the wilderness seeking this new king? I began to calculate how many days before I could reasonably abandon this job and not incur Herod’s anger. Or perhaps it was time to leave Judaea and seek my fortune in other parts of the Empire. A citizen spy can always find employment, and at least I’d be away from these Jews.
The Jews had always been a thorn in the side to the Romans, and it all resulted from their religion, which was unlike all the other many faiths that the Romans had embraced. That was the secret of the Roman Empire — they conquered and then assimilated the conquered people into the Empire, including their gods. But this Jewish god was different. He had no children, unlike Jupiter. He had no wives, no battles with half-brothers or mighty Titans. In fact, the Jews maintained their god was the only god. The Romans would have been quite willing to build a temple to this god of the Jews in the Temple Quarter of their cities if the Jews had accepted their god’s place among the gods, but the Jews held themselves apart. They were waiting for a “messiah,” my sources told me. They had been waiting for centuries for this mythic person. They believed this messiah would conquer the earth and lead the Jews to glory. You can understand how such beliefs didn’t endear them to their Roman overlords.
A religion like that was ripe for charlatans and fakes, and ever so often, a new messiah would rise and attempt to rouse the Jews. Some of them led short-lived rebellions against the Empire. The Romans would put down such rebellions with brutal efficiency.
And now Herod had me following a group of madman through the wilderness on the unlikely chance that a king would be born, even though such a king would take years to grow up and Herod would be long dead before this new messiah could raise an army. I sighed. Only kings could be so paranoid.
The next few weeks, I followed the caravan as it traveled through the wilderness. Well, I exaggerate some. There were many small villages that we wandered through. Not that I could find a bed other than a rough camp outside the villages. Caesar Augustus had decreed that every citizen had to return to their hometown and be counted and taxed. Many of these villages only had one inn to begin with, and that was quickly filled.
But I was able to buy a cup of wine and more provisions with the coins Gabinius had advanced. I often bought liquid refreshment for the servants of the Magi. Not that they gave much news. The Magi were following a scroll that was leading them to this newborn king, a king of kings that would unite the world. The Magi would argue about this scroll or that scroll and what it meant each night. They seemed happiest when arguing, according to the servants. Eventually I drifted close enough to join the caravan. The servants, accustomed to me now, allowed me to share their fire without asking too many questions. I stayed vague on my travel plans, but professed the fear of bandits made me long for company. They accepted this easily enough, particularly after I shared a few skins of wine.
Soon I myself could overhear these arguments. Unfortunately, none of these arguments ever gave a hint that the Magi were giving up. No, they would argue about such things as whether the new king had already been born. Old Melchior maintained that the king had already been born when the stars were in the proper alignment several years ago. Young Gaspar, however, said the king was not yet born, and another sign would be seen soon. Not so, Balthazar would say. The king may or may not be born, but no more signs would be forthcoming because the prophets had spoken all the signs already. They could go on for hours like this.
Reluctantly I came to understand they were not tricksters, rather something worse: they were believers. A trickster would give up this mad quest as soon as it ceased to be profitable, but who knows when a believer would? I could be wandering Judaea until my dotage. I decided to stay with the caravan until the advance ran out, then I could return to Gabinius and tell him that these so-called Magi were on an endless quest. But the very night I decided this, things changed.
The three Magi were having a loud argument. Unlike their usual debates, their voices carried real anger. I skulked closer to their fire. I shouldn’t have worried. They were too caught up in their disagreement to notice me.
“The scrolls end here,” Gaspar said. “We have failed. Or the scrolls are wrong. It’s time to return home.”
I knew from the servants that Gaspar had several wives, and he missed their comforts.
“The scrolls are not wrong!” Melchior said. “But we need more knowledge. We should travel to Rome and consult with the Magi there.”
“No!” Caspar said. “We have traveled enough!”
“We must have faith,” Balthazar said. “Another sign will be revealed to us. We have followed the stars to this place. Here we must wait for the heavens to reveal more—”
“No!” Gaspar said. “We have spent three years on this quest. No more!”
The three stood in silence. Eventually Gaspar and Melchior retired to their tents. Balthazar sat by the fire for a long time. His shoulders were slumped, and I could see the discouragement on his face clearly. Perhaps their quest would end tonight — I could see the Magus clearly! I looked around in amazement.
“What is this?” Balthazar gasped. “What is this?” He pointed to the sky. Where the sun would rise, a star blazed, pouring forth a river of light as bright as when the sun stood overhead.
“We must ride!” Balthazar shouted, rousing the camp. Gaspar and Melchior came out of their tents, struggling into their robes.
“We must ride now,” Balthazar shouted again.
Camels, donkeys, and mules carried the caravan toward where the star sent down a blazing ray of light. I rode along with the servants; none questioned my right to join them. We raced over broken land and ended up on a road I recognized. We were headed toward the small village of Bethlehem. I had once followed a thief to Bethlehem. It wasn’t much of a town. An inn, a few homes, a small market, not the place that I would expect a so-called king of kings to be born in.
We galloped through the streets toward a small inn. I expected us to stop there, but the Magi led us past it to the stable in back where above the star blazed in glory. A small crowd of people had gathered near the stable, including several shepherds and apparently servants from the inn. I slid off my camel and walked toward the stable, wondering at all I was seeing. I threaded my way through the sheep. My breath came in clouds.
This cannot be, I told myself. The gods are myths told by dishonest priests to keep the peasants in line and keep their coffers filled with gold.
The night was strangely quiet, only the occasional soft sounds from the barnyard animals. A young servant and a serving maid stood near, holding hands.
The Magi, carrying gifts, approached the stable, but stopped outside. Tears glistened on Gaspar’s face. The shepherds knelt. It seemed as if the entire Empire, the whole earth held its breath.
Then through the clear, cold night filled with blazing light, I heard the single cry of a child.
A single cry of a babe entering our sad, tired world.
I found myself kneeling.
A perfect moment of stillness.
Free of the old myths, the old gods, and the old ways, the world finally woke.
My heart broke.
Later I would see the Child, the babe whom shepherds worshiped and wise men adored. I would understand He would change the world in a thousand glorious ways. I would realize He was truth made flesh. But my life was changed in the yard outside the stable beside a run-down inn when I first heard His perfect voice.
The Tale of the Honest Spy
By Stephen B. Bagley
I am Manius Cassius Dentatus, and I am a citizen spy. Perhaps you are from some far reaches of the Empire and are not familiar with spies in general and citizen spies in particular. A quick précis: Spies discover hidden information and share it with their employer, usually for the government or the military. Citizen spies also discover hidden information and share it with their employer, but that employer is any citizen with enough coin.
Many spies exist in Judaea. Most are employed by King Herod or by his many enemies. I myself once served Herod, but when he started killing his wives and sons and anyone else whom he thought might be conspiring against him or could possibly conspire against him sometime in the future, I thought it prudent to find another way to place coins in my pouch.
Many noble citizens have need of my services. They seek to know if their wife is dallying with a slave boy or if their partner is actually selling the bushels of dates that he is reporting as spoiled or if their accountant is keeping the books as he should. What I do is find out. And I am known for my honesty. I report what I find, no more, no less. I am careful with this. I am not cheap in my services, and so I work to be worthy of my wages.
This is not to say I don’t have a price, but no one has offered it so far. Thus when I give reports, my employers listen. They might not like what they hear, but that is not my concern. My concern is the coin. That is my only concern. Understand that: I am honest because it allows me to charge more, not because I am seeking favor or reward. If there are gods, they do not concern me. But like most reasonable men, I do not think they exist. I have never seen a miracle from Jupiter or any of his quarrelsome children or their priests. In fact, I’d rather share a cup with a slave who knows how to do a good day’s work in the vineyards than with some foppish priest with his dirty robes and stinky incense.
So when Sextus Gabinius, the chief spymaster for King Herod, summoned me to his chambers in Herodium and told me what Herod sought from me, I was displeased for reasons trice. First, that the King had requested my services once again — you did not refuse a summons unless you wished to land on his enemy list. Second, Herod was notoriously slow paying. Third, it involved religion and even worse, the Jews.
I wondered briefly if I could claim to have the flux, but Gabinius’s stony face convinced me otherwise.
“So, noble Gabinius, what Jews am I following?” I asked. “Another group attempting to overthrow our good King Herod?” The slight twist I gave my words was not lost on the spymaster.
He favored me with a sour smile. “Not Jews,” he said. “Magi. Wise men.”
My face expressed my disbelief better than any words. Gabinius barked a short laugh.
“Our gracious King received visitors from the East,” Gabinius drawled. “They claimed to be following signs that herald the birth of a new Jewish king here in Judaea.”
I sat up straight on that. Herod, the self-styled King of the Jews, had murdered his own sons to protect his Roman-given throne. He would not receive this news gladly. If those wise men had been truly wise, they would have known better than to visit his palace.
Gabinius nodded at my reaction. “Exactly.” He drained his wine cup.
“How did our King receive that news?” I asked.
“Strangely calm,” Gabinius said. “Abnormally so. He offered them rooms for the night and sent for you. He intends to let them leave tomorrow with his ‘blessings.’ You will follow and report on their journey, particularly if they find a newborn king.”
“You can’t be serious!” I said. Surely even Herod wasn’t so far gone in his madness to believe in such tales.
“Our King is always serious these days,” Gabinius said with a smirk. “Deadly serious. I suggest you take the same attitude.” He tossed a small purse to me. The coins inside made a pleasant weight. “I want a full accounting.”
“Of course, noble sir,” I said and bowed too deeply. He laughed.
The next day, I was outside Jerusalem following a caravan. Or actually not following. Apparently these Magi traveled in the evening so they could see the heavens. I bought several cups of wine for one of their servants in a local tavern. This worthy supplied me with the names of the three main Magi: old white-bearded Melchior, red-hued young Gaspar, and ebony skinned Balthazar. They were astronomers who studied the stars and old scrolls seeking eternal truths. Although I pressed their servant, he steadfastly maintained that they were not frauds, that they did not peddle tricks to the unlearned and naive for coin. I sighed. Nothing was more annoying than fanatics. Who knew how long these madmen would wander the wilderness seeking this new king? I began to calculate how many days before I could reasonably abandon this job and not incur Herod’s anger. Or perhaps it was time to leave Judaea and seek my fortune in other parts of the Empire. A citizen spy can always find employment, and at least I’d be away from these Jews.
The Jews had always been a thorn in the side to the Romans, and it all resulted from their religion, which was unlike all the other many faiths that the Romans had embraced. That was the secret of the Roman Empire — they conquered and then assimilated the conquered people into the Empire, including their gods. But this Jewish god was different. He had no children, unlike Jupiter. He had no wives, no battles with half-brothers or mighty Titans. In fact, the Jews maintained their god was the only god. The Romans would have been quite willing to build a temple to this god of the Jews in the Temple Quarter of their cities if the Jews had accepted their god’s place among the gods, but the Jews held themselves apart. They were waiting for a “messiah,” my sources told me. They had been waiting for centuries for this mythic person. They believed this messiah would conquer the earth and lead the Jews to glory. You can understand how such beliefs didn’t endear them to their Roman overlords.
A religion like that was ripe for charlatans and fakes, and ever so often, a new messiah would rise and attempt to rouse the Jews. Some of them led short-lived rebellions against the Empire. The Romans would put down such rebellions with brutal efficiency.
And now Herod had me following a group of madman through the wilderness on the unlikely chance that a king would be born, even though such a king would take years to grow up and Herod would be long dead before this new messiah could raise an army. I sighed. Only kings could be so paranoid.
The next few weeks, I followed the caravan as it traveled through the wilderness. Well, I exaggerate some. There were many small villages that we wandered through. Not that I could find a bed other than a rough camp outside the villages. Caesar Augustus had decreed that every citizen had to return to their hometown and be counted and taxed. Many of these villages only had one inn to begin with, and that was quickly filled.
But I was able to buy a cup of wine and more provisions with the coins Gabinius had advanced. I often bought liquid refreshment for the servants of the Magi. Not that they gave much news. The Magi were following a scroll that was leading them to this newborn king, a king of kings that would unite the world. The Magi would argue about this scroll or that scroll and what it meant each night. They seemed happiest when arguing, according to the servants. Eventually I drifted close enough to join the caravan. The servants, accustomed to me now, allowed me to share their fire without asking too many questions. I stayed vague on my travel plans, but professed the fear of bandits made me long for company. They accepted this easily enough, particularly after I shared a few skins of wine.
Soon I myself could overhear these arguments. Unfortunately, none of these arguments ever gave a hint that the Magi were giving up. No, they would argue about such things as whether the new king had already been born. Old Melchior maintained that the king had already been born when the stars were in the proper alignment several years ago. Young Gaspar, however, said the king was not yet born, and another sign would be seen soon. Not so, Balthazar would say. The king may or may not be born, but no more signs would be forthcoming because the prophets had spoken all the signs already. They could go on for hours like this.
Reluctantly I came to understand they were not tricksters, rather something worse: they were believers. A trickster would give up this mad quest as soon as it ceased to be profitable, but who knows when a believer would? I could be wandering Judaea until my dotage. I decided to stay with the caravan until the advance ran out, then I could return to Gabinius and tell him that these so-called Magi were on an endless quest. But the very night I decided this, things changed.
The three Magi were having a loud argument. Unlike their usual debates, their voices carried real anger. I skulked closer to their fire. I shouldn’t have worried. They were too caught up in their disagreement to notice me.
“The scrolls end here,” Gaspar said. “We have failed. Or the scrolls are wrong. It’s time to return home.”
I knew from the servants that Gaspar had several wives, and he missed their comforts.
“The scrolls are not wrong!” Melchior said. “But we need more knowledge. We should travel to Rome and consult with the Magi there.”
“No!” Caspar said. “We have traveled enough!”
“We must have faith,” Balthazar said. “Another sign will be revealed to us. We have followed the stars to this place. Here we must wait for the heavens to reveal more—”
“No!” Gaspar said. “We have spent three years on this quest. No more!”
The three stood in silence. Eventually Gaspar and Melchior retired to their tents. Balthazar sat by the fire for a long time. His shoulders were slumped, and I could see the discouragement on his face clearly. Perhaps their quest would end tonight — I could see the Magus clearly! I looked around in amazement.
“What is this?” Balthazar gasped. “What is this?” He pointed to the sky. Where the sun would rise, a star blazed, pouring forth a river of light as bright as when the sun stood overhead.
“We must ride!” Balthazar shouted, rousing the camp. Gaspar and Melchior came out of their tents, struggling into their robes.
“We must ride now,” Balthazar shouted again.
Camels, donkeys, and mules carried the caravan toward where the star sent down a blazing ray of light. I rode along with the servants; none questioned my right to join them. We raced over broken land and ended up on a road I recognized. We were headed toward the small village of Bethlehem. I had once followed a thief to Bethlehem. It wasn’t much of a town. An inn, a few homes, a small market, not the place that I would expect a so-called king of kings to be born in.
We galloped through the streets toward a small inn. I expected us to stop there, but the Magi led us past it to the stable in back where above the star blazed in glory. A small crowd of people had gathered near the stable, including several shepherds and apparently servants from the inn. I slid off my camel and walked toward the stable, wondering at all I was seeing. I threaded my way through the sheep. My breath came in clouds.
This cannot be, I told myself. The gods are myths told by dishonest priests to keep the peasants in line and keep their coffers filled with gold.
The night was strangely quiet, only the occasional soft sounds from the barnyard animals. A young servant and a serving maid stood near, holding hands.
The Magi, carrying gifts, approached the stable, but stopped outside. Tears glistened on Gaspar’s face. The shepherds knelt. It seemed as if the entire Empire, the whole earth held its breath.
Then through the clear, cold night filled with blazing light, I heard the single cry of a child.
A single cry of a babe entering our sad, tired world.
I found myself kneeling.
A perfect moment of stillness.
Free of the old myths, the old gods, and the old ways, the world finally woke.
My heart broke.
Later I would see the Child, the babe whom shepherds worshiped and wise men adored. I would understand He would change the world in a thousand glorious ways. I would realize He was truth made flesh. But my life was changed in the yard outside the stable beside a run-down inn when I first heard His perfect voice.
***
I was an honest spy. I was not a stupid one. I never returned to Gabinius. Herod never received word of this newborn king from me. A year later, when I had enough coin, I anonymously sent the advance back to the spymaster. Gabinius could figure out it was from me.
Now I work as a fisherman. It is a better trade than what I chose before. I am older, over thirty years older, but my back is still strong. And lately I have been hearing word of a new prophet, a teacher who is traveling the land. I go tomorrow to sit at His feet, the one called Jesus.
Copyright 2008 by Stephen B. Bagley. All rights reserved.
Now I work as a fisherman. It is a better trade than what I chose before. I am older, over thirty years older, but my back is still strong. And lately I have been hearing word of a new prophet, a teacher who is traveling the land. I go tomorrow to sit at His feet, the one called Jesus.
Copyright 2008 by Stephen B. Bagley. All rights reserved.
Tuesday, December 23, 2008
HSCC VI
Poor Christmas. It doesn’t stand a chance. All the pressure people put on it. New Year’s Eve is about starting over; no one expects anything from it except maybe a kiss at midnight. But Christmas is expected to redeem the year. To make better everything that passed before it, to rewrite our failures and sorrows, and to make all of the setbacks worthwhile.
Poor Christmas. The odds are against it. It has evolved into a shopping frenzy. Retailers place their hopes on Christmas sales each year. “We can get back into the black if the man in red shakes loose enough green.” Not that people don’t notice. There will be at least a million people blogging, preaching, griping, nagging, complaining about how commercial Christmas has become. People will proudly not celebrate it because they want to show their disapproval of this overwhelming greed.
Or maybe they’re not celebrating Christmas because they’re showing their disapproval of Christianity. They will bring up the Crusades and religious wars and The Inquisition or how the religious people disapprove of their particular affection for goats or Volkswagens. Not that the ultra-religious don’t attack Christmas, too, because it is based on a pagan holiday, you know, and the Christmas Tree actually is an instrument of the Beast Below and you don't want to know what a garland really means.
And let’s not forget how Nativity Scenes offend some people. In fact, the offended parties must often sue for millions of dollars because seeing just one Nativity Scene damages their psychological well-being to the point they can’t function and have suicidal thoughts, although sadly they never follow through.
Who doesn’t hate Christmas with its get-togethers and parties and all those presents people give us that are just wrong, wrong, wrong and obviously they don’t really know us and don’t care what we like and now we have to return them or re-gift them or finally throw them out with all the other trash? You’d have to be a fool to like this miserable holiday and all those boring, long elementary school programs it inspires. And there’s the endless, sappy, sad, stupid TV specials and movies where little Jo is dying, but the Prancer delivers the life-saving drug just in time for Romeo and Juliet to finally tie the knot and honeymoon in Paris.
Let’s be honest. We’re angry at Christmas. At the miracles never delivered. The presents Santa never brought. The people who leave us or pass away at the holidays. We don’t like our families. We don’t like our lives. We want something better, and we want it at Christmas, and it better deliver or else.
Poor Christmas. You could write a book -- and hundreds have -- about how Christmas became what it is and how it needs to change and why we’re so severely disappointed in it. And it takes the abuse because it must, although wouldn’t it be cool if one day Santa started packing heat? Or maybe those Wise Men would show how wise they really are and file a class action suit against humanity for our inability to grow up?
Christmas is what it is. It offers presents, trees, elves, Wise Men, stars, sales, family, tinsel, mangers, lights, decorations, food, and much, much more. We turn our noses up at it. It isn’t exactly what we want so we refuse everything because we want it our way or the highway. I don’t know why it comes back year after year.
But it does. Right before the changing of the year, it returns. It offers its gifts again and again and again. Unlike all the other holidays, Christmas tries. It attempts to bring out the best of us -- and does in soup kitchens and food pantries, with Meals on Wheels and Toys for Tots. Christmas has hope. Kinda silly really to keep believing after all these years that humanity is still worth it when so much evidence points otherwise, but Christmas refuses to learn better. It keeps offering a message of good will and good cheer, as tired and hokey as that is to our modern ears.
You gotta admire its sheer stubbornness. It keeps going. Year after year. Eggnog and fruitcake sustain it in ways science can’t understand. Every year it makes the trek to Bethlehem to a stable carved out of a hillside where a virgin gives birth to a king. All the smart people say it’s a fable or parable or who knows what, but Christmas doesn’t care. Christmas is only interested in that first miracle, the beginning, the chance for the world to start over, the beginning of what was to come.
Always when I think of Christmas, I think of that moment. That expectancy before the event. When the world held its breath. Shepherds and wise men would come later as would angel choruses and a thousand other changes as the world advanced, but not yet. In this moment, there is only a young frightened man holding the hand of a young frightened woman in a stable in an insignificant village.
The animals rustle in the darkness.
The air is cold.
The sky is clear.
A star is giving forth a river of light.
Then there is the cry of a babe.
And it all begins again.
Believe what you will. Make of Christmas what you would. Make everything meaningless if you can. But I won't join you. I never will. If you look for me, this is where you'll find me: kneeling at that manger. And if you'd like to give me a gift this Christmas, join me. We'll sit in the silence of the cold, clear night and listen for the sound of new life.
(Copyright 2008 Stephen B. Bagley. All rights reserved.)
Poor Christmas. The odds are against it. It has evolved into a shopping frenzy. Retailers place their hopes on Christmas sales each year. “We can get back into the black if the man in red shakes loose enough green.” Not that people don’t notice. There will be at least a million people blogging, preaching, griping, nagging, complaining about how commercial Christmas has become. People will proudly not celebrate it because they want to show their disapproval of this overwhelming greed.
Or maybe they’re not celebrating Christmas because they’re showing their disapproval of Christianity. They will bring up the Crusades and religious wars and The Inquisition or how the religious people disapprove of their particular affection for goats or Volkswagens. Not that the ultra-religious don’t attack Christmas, too, because it is based on a pagan holiday, you know, and the Christmas Tree actually is an instrument of the Beast Below and you don't want to know what a garland really means.
And let’s not forget how Nativity Scenes offend some people. In fact, the offended parties must often sue for millions of dollars because seeing just one Nativity Scene damages their psychological well-being to the point they can’t function and have suicidal thoughts, although sadly they never follow through.
Who doesn’t hate Christmas with its get-togethers and parties and all those presents people give us that are just wrong, wrong, wrong and obviously they don’t really know us and don’t care what we like and now we have to return them or re-gift them or finally throw them out with all the other trash? You’d have to be a fool to like this miserable holiday and all those boring, long elementary school programs it inspires. And there’s the endless, sappy, sad, stupid TV specials and movies where little Jo is dying, but the Prancer delivers the life-saving drug just in time for Romeo and Juliet to finally tie the knot and honeymoon in Paris.
Let’s be honest. We’re angry at Christmas. At the miracles never delivered. The presents Santa never brought. The people who leave us or pass away at the holidays. We don’t like our families. We don’t like our lives. We want something better, and we want it at Christmas, and it better deliver or else.
Poor Christmas. You could write a book -- and hundreds have -- about how Christmas became what it is and how it needs to change and why we’re so severely disappointed in it. And it takes the abuse because it must, although wouldn’t it be cool if one day Santa started packing heat? Or maybe those Wise Men would show how wise they really are and file a class action suit against humanity for our inability to grow up?
Christmas is what it is. It offers presents, trees, elves, Wise Men, stars, sales, family, tinsel, mangers, lights, decorations, food, and much, much more. We turn our noses up at it. It isn’t exactly what we want so we refuse everything because we want it our way or the highway. I don’t know why it comes back year after year.
But it does. Right before the changing of the year, it returns. It offers its gifts again and again and again. Unlike all the other holidays, Christmas tries. It attempts to bring out the best of us -- and does in soup kitchens and food pantries, with Meals on Wheels and Toys for Tots. Christmas has hope. Kinda silly really to keep believing after all these years that humanity is still worth it when so much evidence points otherwise, but Christmas refuses to learn better. It keeps offering a message of good will and good cheer, as tired and hokey as that is to our modern ears.
You gotta admire its sheer stubbornness. It keeps going. Year after year. Eggnog and fruitcake sustain it in ways science can’t understand. Every year it makes the trek to Bethlehem to a stable carved out of a hillside where a virgin gives birth to a king. All the smart people say it’s a fable or parable or who knows what, but Christmas doesn’t care. Christmas is only interested in that first miracle, the beginning, the chance for the world to start over, the beginning of what was to come.
Always when I think of Christmas, I think of that moment. That expectancy before the event. When the world held its breath. Shepherds and wise men would come later as would angel choruses and a thousand other changes as the world advanced, but not yet. In this moment, there is only a young frightened man holding the hand of a young frightened woman in a stable in an insignificant village.
The animals rustle in the darkness.
The air is cold.
The sky is clear.
A star is giving forth a river of light.
Then there is the cry of a babe.
And it all begins again.
Believe what you will. Make of Christmas what you would. Make everything meaningless if you can. But I won't join you. I never will. If you look for me, this is where you'll find me: kneeling at that manger. And if you'd like to give me a gift this Christmas, join me. We'll sit in the silence of the cold, clear night and listen for the sound of new life.
(Copyright 2008 Stephen B. Bagley. All rights reserved.)
Monday, December 22, 2008
HSCC V
A Christmas Joke
Three men died on Christmas Eve and were met by Saint Peter at the pearly gates. St. Peter said, "In honor of the season, you must each possess something that symbolizes Christmas to get into heaven."
The first man fumbled through his pockets and pulled out a lighter. He flicked it on. "It represents a candle," he said.
"You may pass through the pearly gates," St. Peter said.
The second man reached into his pocket and pulled out a set of keys. He shook them and said, "They're bells."
St. Peter said, "You may pass through the pearly gates."
The third man started searching desperately through his pockets and finally pulled out a pair of women's panties.
St. Peter looked at the man with a raised eyebrow and asked, "And just what do those symbolize?"
The man replied, "These are Carol's."
Michelle's Recipes
Michelle posted these delicious recipes in the 2006 HSCC. They're tasty enough to share again!
The Twelve Days of Christmas
(This is making the email rounds.)
December 14, 2006
Dearest Dave,
I went to the door today, and the postman delivered a partridge in a pear tree. This was a delightful gift! I couldn't have been more surprised or pleased, darling!
With truly the deepest love,
Agnes
December 15, 2006
Dearest Dave,
Today the postman brought me yet another of your sweet gifts. The two turtule doves that arrived today are adorable, and I'm delighted by your thoughtful and generous ways.
With all of my love,
Your Agnes
December 16, 2006
Dearest Dave,
You've truly been too kind! I must protest; I don't deserve such generosity. The thought of getting three French hens amazes me. Yet, I am not surprised -- what more should I expect from such a nice person.
Love,
Agnes
December 17, 2006
Dear Dave,
Four calling birds arrived in the mail today. They are truly nice but don't you think that enough is enough? You are being too romantic.
Affectionately,
Agnes
December 18, 2006
Dearest darling Dave,
It was a surprise to get five golden rings! I now have one for every finger. You truly are impossible darling, yet oh how I love it! Quite frankly, all of those squarking birds from the previous days were starting to get on my nerves. Yet, you managed to come through with a beautiful valuable gift!
All my love,
Agnes
December 19, 2006
Dear Dave,
When I opened my door, there were actually six geese a-laying on my front steps. So you're back to the birds again, huh? Those geese are dear, but where will I keep them? The neighbors are complaining, and I am unable to sleep with all the racket. Please stop dear.
Cordially,
Agnes
December 20, 2006
Dave,
What is with you and those stupid birds!? Seven swans a-swimming! What kind of sick joke is this!? There are bird droppings everywhere! They never shut up, and I don't get any sleep! I'm a nervous wreck! It's not funny, you freak, so stop with the birds.
Sincerely,
Agnes
December 21, 2006
O.K. wise guy,
The birds were bad enough. Now what do you expect me to do with eight maids a-milking? If that's not bad enough, they had to bring their cows! The front lawn was completely ruined by them, and I can't move in my own house! Just lay off me or you'll be sorry!
Agnes
December 22, 2006
Hey loser,
What are you? You must be some kind of sadist. Now there are nine pipers playing, and they certainly do play. They haven't stopped chasing those maids since they got here! The cows are getting upset, and they're stepping all over those screeching birds. The neighbors are getting up a petition to evict me, and I'm going out of my mind!
You'll get yours!
Agnes
December 23, 2006
You rotten scum,
There are now ten ladies dancing! There is only one problem with that! They're dancing twenty-four hours a day all around me with the pipers upsetting the cows and the maids. The cows can't sleep, and they are going to the bathroom everywhere! The building commissioner has subpoenaed me to give cause as to why the house shouldn't be condemned! I can't even think of a reason! You creep! I'm sending the police after you!
One who means it!
December 24, 2006
Listen you evil, sadistic, maniac!
What's with the eleven lords-a-leaping?!? They are leaping across the rooms breaking everything and even injuring some of the maids! The place smells, is an absolute mad house, and is about to be condemned! At least the birds are quiet; they were trampled to death by the cows. I hope you are satisfied -- you rotten vicious worthless piece of garbage!
Your sworn enemy,
Agnes
December 25, 2006
The Law Offices of
Badger, Rees, and Yorker
20 Knave Street
Chicago, Illinois
Dear Sir,
This is to acknowledge your latest gift of twelve fiddlers-fiddling which you have seen fit to inflict on our client, one Agnes Mcholstein. The destruction of course was total. If you attempt to reach Ms. Mcholstein at Happy Daze Sanatarium, the attendants have instructions to shoot you on sight.
Please direct all correspondence to this office in the future. With this letter, please find attached a summons for you to appear in court and answer these charges.
Cordially,
Badger, Rees, and Yorker
Talk to you tomorrow when HSCC 2008 continues.
Three men died on Christmas Eve and were met by Saint Peter at the pearly gates. St. Peter said, "In honor of the season, you must each possess something that symbolizes Christmas to get into heaven."
The first man fumbled through his pockets and pulled out a lighter. He flicked it on. "It represents a candle," he said.
"You may pass through the pearly gates," St. Peter said.
The second man reached into his pocket and pulled out a set of keys. He shook them and said, "They're bells."
St. Peter said, "You may pass through the pearly gates."
The third man started searching desperately through his pockets and finally pulled out a pair of women's panties.
St. Peter looked at the man with a raised eyebrow and asked, "And just what do those symbolize?"
The man replied, "These are Carol's."
Michelle's Recipes
Michelle posted these delicious recipes in the 2006 HSCC. They're tasty enough to share again!
Potato Cheese Soup
5 lbs Potatoes peeled, washed and cubed
1 white Onion chopped
1/2 stick of butter
Milk
White pepper and salt to taste
Chicken bouillon to taste (I usually use 2 large cubes)
4-8 oz Velveeta (depending on how cheesy you want it)
Cheddar cheese
Parmesan
Saute onion in butter until transparent. Fill pot with potatoes and water just to cover. Add sauted onion, salt and pepper and bouillon. Bring to a boil and let simmer until potatoes are tender. Add Milk until broth looks creamy. Simmer for another ten minutes. Add Velveeta and Parmesan until melted. Add cheddar before serving (so as not to curdle the cheese). Serve with some fresh baked bread and a salad. Yum!
Snickerdoodles
This recipe says it makes 4 dozen but I usually get about 6 dozen.
1 1/2 cups sugar
1 stick margarine or butter
1/2 cup shortening
2 large eggs
2 1/2 cups flour
2 ts cream of tartar
1 ts baking soda
1/4 ts salt
cinnamon/sugar mixture (set aside)
1/4 cup sugar
2 teaspoons cinnamon
Heat oven to 400. Cream butter, eggs, shortening and sugar. Add flour, cream of tartar, salt and baking soda to form dough. Roll into 1 inch balls and roll in the cinnamon sugar mixture to coat. Bake 8-10 minutes. I usually under-cook them a little to keep them softer longer. I like my cookies chewy.
Refrigerator Fudge
If you aren't into candy baking like me, then this is a great way to get creamy fudge in just a couple easy peasy steps.
2 pkgs semi sweet chocolate chips
2 cans sweetened condensed milk
Mix both ingredient in a microwaveable bowl. Microwave in 3 minute increments to ensure that you don't scorch the mixture. Once it is thoroughly melted and mixed, pour into a glass baking dish (greased with cocoa powder to prevent sticking) and put in the fridge. In a couple hours, you have rich and creamy fudge.
You can sprinkle the top with crushed candy canes, nuts or broken up candy bars to make it look festive.
The Twelve Days of Christmas
(This is making the email rounds.)
December 14, 2006
Dearest Dave,
I went to the door today, and the postman delivered a partridge in a pear tree. This was a delightful gift! I couldn't have been more surprised or pleased, darling!
With truly the deepest love,
Agnes
December 15, 2006
Dearest Dave,
Today the postman brought me yet another of your sweet gifts. The two turtule doves that arrived today are adorable, and I'm delighted by your thoughtful and generous ways.
With all of my love,
Your Agnes
December 16, 2006
Dearest Dave,
You've truly been too kind! I must protest; I don't deserve such generosity. The thought of getting three French hens amazes me. Yet, I am not surprised -- what more should I expect from such a nice person.
Love,
Agnes
December 17, 2006
Dear Dave,
Four calling birds arrived in the mail today. They are truly nice but don't you think that enough is enough? You are being too romantic.
Affectionately,
Agnes
December 18, 2006
Dearest darling Dave,
It was a surprise to get five golden rings! I now have one for every finger. You truly are impossible darling, yet oh how I love it! Quite frankly, all of those squarking birds from the previous days were starting to get on my nerves. Yet, you managed to come through with a beautiful valuable gift!
All my love,
Agnes
December 19, 2006
Dear Dave,
When I opened my door, there were actually six geese a-laying on my front steps. So you're back to the birds again, huh? Those geese are dear, but where will I keep them? The neighbors are complaining, and I am unable to sleep with all the racket. Please stop dear.
Cordially,
Agnes
December 20, 2006
Dave,
What is with you and those stupid birds!? Seven swans a-swimming! What kind of sick joke is this!? There are bird droppings everywhere! They never shut up, and I don't get any sleep! I'm a nervous wreck! It's not funny, you freak, so stop with the birds.
Sincerely,
Agnes
December 21, 2006
O.K. wise guy,
The birds were bad enough. Now what do you expect me to do with eight maids a-milking? If that's not bad enough, they had to bring their cows! The front lawn was completely ruined by them, and I can't move in my own house! Just lay off me or you'll be sorry!
Agnes
December 22, 2006
Hey loser,
What are you? You must be some kind of sadist. Now there are nine pipers playing, and they certainly do play. They haven't stopped chasing those maids since they got here! The cows are getting upset, and they're stepping all over those screeching birds. The neighbors are getting up a petition to evict me, and I'm going out of my mind!
You'll get yours!
Agnes
December 23, 2006
You rotten scum,
There are now ten ladies dancing! There is only one problem with that! They're dancing twenty-four hours a day all around me with the pipers upsetting the cows and the maids. The cows can't sleep, and they are going to the bathroom everywhere! The building commissioner has subpoenaed me to give cause as to why the house shouldn't be condemned! I can't even think of a reason! You creep! I'm sending the police after you!
One who means it!
December 24, 2006
Listen you evil, sadistic, maniac!
What's with the eleven lords-a-leaping?!? They are leaping across the rooms breaking everything and even injuring some of the maids! The place smells, is an absolute mad house, and is about to be condemned! At least the birds are quiet; they were trampled to death by the cows. I hope you are satisfied -- you rotten vicious worthless piece of garbage!
Your sworn enemy,
Agnes
December 25, 2006
The Law Offices of
Badger, Rees, and Yorker
20 Knave Street
Chicago, Illinois
Dear Sir,
This is to acknowledge your latest gift of twelve fiddlers-fiddling which you have seen fit to inflict on our client, one Agnes Mcholstein. The destruction of course was total. If you attempt to reach Ms. Mcholstein at Happy Daze Sanatarium, the attendants have instructions to shoot you on sight.
Please direct all correspondence to this office in the future. With this letter, please find attached a summons for you to appear in court and answer these charges.
Cordially,
Badger, Rees, and Yorker
Talk to you tomorrow when HSCC 2008 continues.
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