Dear Internet,
Sorry. I'm out of outrage today. Check back tomorrow. Or next week. I'm dealing with real problems right now, and I just can't spare the emotional energy. Now, don't think I'm not impressed by all the drama -- really, you outdo yourself at times, particularly with hand-wringing and wild suppositions, and no one broad-jumps to conclusions like you do -- but don't you ever get tired of it? Think of all things you could get done if you didn't go around hyperventilating all the time. You could finally find that cure for ringworm that civilization so desperately needs. It's something to consider, don't you think?
Sincerely,
Me
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