Threes

Things we hold
things we held
slip away

Hopes we hoped
dreams we dreamed
melt away

Beyond this fog
beyond this rain
a sun rises

Beyond this sadness
beyond this anger
joy abounds

Gather your loves
hold your dreams
walk in the sun

Share your tears
release your anger
love each other

Copyright 2012 by Stephen B. Bagley. All rights reserved. No copying without express prior permission from the author and publisher. Thanks for reading. 

Hey, you bought my books yet?

EndlesS
By Stephen B. Bagley
Poetry - Enjoy more than 50 sensual & moving poems, including the award winning "Non-Communion," "Torrent," & "Endless."
Buy on Amazon
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Floozy & Other Stories
By Stephen B. Bagley
Humor - Laugh at more than 80 hilarious tales from the author's decidedly different life.
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Buy on Barnes & Noble
Buy on Lulu

Murder by the Acre (Second Edition)
By Stephen B. Bagley
Mystery - Who killed the ladies man? Bernard, Lisa & the chief are back! New expanded edition. 2nd in Measurements of Murder series.
Buy on Lulu

Murder by the Acre (First Edition)
By Stephen B. Bagley
Mystery - Who killed the ladies man? Bernard, Lisa & the chief are back! 2nd in Measurements of Murder series.
Buy on Amazon
Buy on Barnes & Noble

Murder by Dewey Decimal
By Stephen B. Bagley
Mystery - Who killed the librarian? 1st in Measurements of Murder series.
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But I will

When I had a job, I always looked forward to Friday because its arrival meant the weekend with its glorious freedom was nearly here. Now, Friday is just another day that I work on my computer and try to make a living from my writing.

Well. Things could be worse. I remind myself of that often. And I do have many, many blessings that the majority of the world does not. Roof over my head, food on my table, health that could be better but not life-threatening, books to read, nieces and nephews to love, good friends, and many other things that bring me joy. When the black dog grabs my ankle, I need to beat him away with the knowledge that I am loved and are worthy of that love. Easy to say, but somehow very hard to do.

But I will.

Hope you have a great Friday and wonderful weekend.

Strawberry

I thought I was finished for the night, but I guess not. Something happened tonight, something bad. That seems to be the way of it lately. It's not something I can share since it's not my secret. It belongs to other people who are trapped in a terrible dance of lies and deceit and God only knows where it will end.

I gave my usual advice when asked -- that the truth is always best since it will eventually come out anyway, that there are trained professionals who can help, that life will go on, and that God really does care for us no matter what.

All the usual truths, the advice that no one takes, the words we all nod our heads to while thinking, You don't understand.

So now I'm realizing how outdated I am, how old fashioned. How utterly ... romantic.

See, I still believe in love in first sight. I still believe that two people can heal their broken hearts. I still believe in babies and puppies and apple pie and vanilla ice cream. I know all the words to The Star Spangled Banner and sing them loudly at ballgames. I like church and the people who go there. I also like books and old movies and playing Scrabble and Uno. 

I told a girl a long time ago that I believed in people having space in marriages and that they should have their own lives. I only said it because I wanted to not scare her off, but I tell you now and will tell her if I get the chance that I didn't mean a word of it. I believe in best friends who love each other and would rather spend their time together than apart, and if you don't have that in your marriage, you should fix it or get out. And I believe you can fix it if you both want to. 

Why state this all of this when it is probably not much of a secret to anyone who reads this blog? Because I feel threatened lately. I feel pressed. I feel the world closing in. I watch people I love tear themselves apart, and I have to repeat to myself to what I believe and why this life is worth living.

It's a promise to myself. It's a reminder to keep my head up. It's a binding of heaven and earth. It's a prayer.

It's a prayer.

There's a Zen story that goes something like this. A man was walking along a path near a cliff when a bear began to chase him. To escape, he started to climb down the cliff, but halfway down, he hear a growling below him, and it was a pack of wild dogs leaping up at him. He couldn't go up and he couldn't go down, and his hands were getting tired. Just then he saw, growing out of the cliff, a wild strawberry plant with one ripe berry. The berry was red, plump and beautiful. Letting go with one hand, he reached out and picked the berry and ate the berry. It was delicious.

And he smiled.

Buy my books!

EndlesS
By Stephen B. Bagley
Poetry - Enjoy more than 50 sensual & moving poems, including the award winning "Non-Communion," "Torrent," & "Endless."
Buy on Amazon
Buy on Lulu

Floozy & Other Stories
By Stephen B. Bagley
Humor - Laugh at more than 80 hilarious tales from the author's decidedly different life.
Buy on Amazon
Buy on Barnes & Noble
Buy on Lulu

Murder by the Acre (Second Edition)
By Stephen B. Bagley
Mystery - Who killed the ladies man? Bernard, Lisa & the chief are back! New expanded edition. 2nd in Measurements of Murder series.
Buy on Lulu

Murder by the Acre (First Edition)
By Stephen B. Bagley
Mystery - Who killed the ladies man? Bernard, Lisa & the chief are back! 2nd in Measurements of Murder series.
Buy on Amazon
Buy on Barnes & Noble

Murder by Dewey Decimal
By Stephen B. Bagley
Mystery - Who killed the librarian? 1st in Measurements of Murder series.
Buy on Amazon
Buy on Barnes & Noble
Buy on Lulu

If only there could be a timeout

I'm so eager to get this election over with. Both sides seem filled with anger and bitterness. If I could, I would vote for neither of them. Or send them into a timeout in separate corners like the loud, rude, children they're acting like.

Unfortunately, I can't.

And of course, there will still be anger and bitterness after the election is over, but it should die down some. I hope so. I am hardily sick of it. I haven't lost any friends over it yet, but I tell you that it's been a close thing more than once.

Grow up, people! Or at least try!

Unworlds

I admire the people who come alone to the gym. I see them sometimes. They forge ahead, sometimes listening to music, sometimes talking on their cell phones, sometimes just walking, walking, walking, but they're there. I make a point to smile and say hi to them. Some of them respond eagerly, some friendly, some not at all, and some act startled. Strange that a simple greeting can cause such reactions. But we don't live in a friendly world, so I guess it's not that strange that someone being friendly can cause that reaction.

Occasionally I'm at the gym alone. I always make sure to bring my old iPod and crank up the music. It's a change for me and quite relaxing at times just to exercise with only my thoughts in attendance. I find that I can involve myself deep enough in a daydream to almost forget the strains of exercising. I can't completely shut the world out like I did when I was kid, but I'm been told that wasn't very healthy the way I did it. It's not good when your fantasy world becomes more "real" than the real world, if that makes sense. Although it has certainly helped me write plays and novels, that ability to live in an unreal world. So who knows?

I think most authors have to have the ability to shut the world out. Fictional people have to move us. Fictional places have to reside firmly in our mind's eye. Events, good and terrible but all untrue, have to unfold for us. We live with one foot in this world and one in unworlds. There's just a thin line between writing and madness. I guess the world decides if we've crossed it.

The thing is ... sometimes ... I think my fictional worlds for all their danger and drama are much better than this world. And that's when I have to stop writing for a day or so to allow me to readjust. I know where the lines are. Really I do.

Talk to you tomorrow.

Pool table

Seems I get my thoughts organized like the balls on a pool table, and then wham! Another thought comes along and knocks all the other thoughts various ways, and I start the process of putting them in order again.

Here's a few thoughts:

I can't make anyone buy anything. All I can do is offer them a product, talk about the value of a product,and hope the customers see it's worth their money. This is true for books, cards, cars, etc. Advertising agencies talk about "creating" a need in a customer, and I do believe you can influence a customer to think that they need a particular item, but it takes time and many ad impressions.

For self-published books, authors are the best salesmen. If the author doesn't sell, sell, sell, the book will die, die, die. Don't expect e-books to change that.

I don't like e-books. Oh, I can see their attractions and uses, but the best e-books seem to be the ones that were ported over from print books by the major publishing houses. The majority of self-produced ones are riddled with spelling and grammatical errors and simply bad writing. I have read several good self-produced e-books and a hundred or so bad ones. It's all well and good to say the gates are down and information flows free, but there's a lot of merit in having discriminating gatekeepers. I guess the consumers are the gatekeepers now. And maybe the technology.

And now some pertinent info.

Last week I mostly worked on Tales from Bethlehem. It's now in the hands in my first proofreader. He's found several errors so far, which I always appreciate. After he's finished (by the end of this week, I hope) then it will go to my friend Jean to catch everything he missed. (No pressure, Jean!)

Saturday, I attended writers group and gave a very short program on the various rights authors can sell.

This week, I will
- Work on Tales from Bethlehem. Entering corrections and lengthening one of the final Tales and finishing another new Tale.
- Continue to help my two authors promote their books.
- Chores.
- Walk at least three times.

That's a bit vague, I know, but those are what I have lined up ... until another thought comes along.

Flickers

Been feeling ground down lately. Stressed by the day-to-day uncertainties of life. Finances remain a major worry. I waver between being a miser, hoarding my coins, stretching funds as far they can go, and being a spendthrift, tossing money at books and toys, defiantly baring my teeth at my creditors. This does not make a sound financial plan. I think I might be crazy.

Sometimes out of the blue, the loss of my parents hits me in the face. It's strange the things I will remember about them. I miss talking to my mother. Miss the Sunday morning phone calls from my father. I don't like visiting their graves. Don't like being reminded of what is lost. And besides, I know they're not there.

In the end, no matter how strong-willed we are, no matter how much we cling to life, no matter how hard we fight, in the end, we all pass away. We all go into the unknown. In the end, we all die.

And it always seems that our lives are too brief, mere flickers of flame in the storm-tossed dark. Every moment is precious because it will not come again, and yet, it is impossible to live each moment to the fullest. We were not made to be constantly on the edge of life. We have down times and off times, low moments and sad moments. We cannot be rejoicing all the time, and if we were, how would we know what to rejoice in? If we had no darkness, how would we know that a moment filled with sunlight and laughter should be cherished?

Perhaps that is what Heaven truly is: Bright moments that we know are bright for which we do not have pay for with darkness. Pure rejoicing with no taste of the bittersweet. To dance in the infinite sunlight as the stars sing forth praises.

There are times I long for a place I've never been. Do you?

25 Random Things (Updated)

1. I don't like my middle name and have often wished I had asked my parents how they came up with it.
2. My dad had seven sisters and one brother.
3. I fell and broke my arm in two places backstage before a production of Oklahoma! by the local community theater. My left arm has never been the same.
4. I miss my mother and father often. They were taken too young.
5. I hate washing dishes. Someday I will have a dishwasher! Besides me, I mean.
6. I like to cook, although it's less fun now that I have to focus on low carb meals.
7. I am a fan of White Collar and Leverage.
8. I have a fish named Spencer after Winston Spencer Churchill.
9. My first computer was a Tandy 1000. I saved for months to buy it. My current computer is an HP Pavilion. It's a good little thing.
10. My main characters on World of Warcraft are mages. I don't enjoy playing other types.
11. I used to play Dungeons & Dragons in college. A group of my friends and I still get together and play every year or so, but it's harder now because we all have commitments. Scheduling is a real problem.
12. My next book will be Tales from Bethlehem, a book about Christmas mostly written not during Christmas.
13. I don't have respect for either political party these days, which makes it easier to make jokes about them.
14. One of my favorite TV shows is Last of the Summer Wine on PBS.
15. My favorite hymn is Amazing Grace.
16. If something gets my attention, it is quite easy for me to become obsessed with it.
17. I think electric cars are the ultimate in cool. If I could, I'd live in a solar home that generated enough power to charge my car.
18. I often regret that I didn't have any children, but then I see the living hell some of my friend's children have put them through and continue to do so -- and I count my blessings.
19. I really think most doctors are only in it for the money. And I detest most of them.
20. I once accidentally dated a married woman. She didn't tell me she was married until we had dated three months. I was very upset when I found out and immediately broke it off. She dropped out of college because she said she couldn't bear to see me every day. I hope she finished her degree somewhere, but I don't know.
21. I've always lived in Oklahoma and proud of it.
22. I love eating at Rib Crib. And La Fiesta.
23. I have blue eyes.
24. I wear contacts and glasses because my vision is so bad.
25. Barq's root beer should be served in an ice cold mug. I like it that way and have my own mug. But I since I rarely drink soft drinks anymore -- and when I do, they're diet -- I haven't had Barq's in months now.

Buy the Second Edition of Murder by the Acre here!
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Important things you should know

With the right rockets attached, pigs fly just fine. Remember this when people try to stomp on your dreams.

Made for more

It comes down to this: Every second we live is a second closer to death. Most of us prefer to not think about it since it doesn’t seem healthy to dwell on our approaching demise. There are a few rare (thankfully) individuals who focus on death, sometimes to the extreme of choosing to commit murder or suicide or both. But most of us live our lives in the now. No one knows when they’re going to die, which allows us to make some terrible choices since we think we’re going to survive the consequences of our foolishness. Youth makes us immortal, we erroneously think.

All religions focus on death, or really the afterlife. It seems inconceivable to us that we won’t survive in some fashion, be it Heaven, Nirvana, or merging with the Cosmic Flow. To think of the earth as a staging area or a practice arena for what comes next helps many of us to find meaning in our lives. Other people choose to hedonistically live for the pleasure now. “You only get one life; live it to the fullest.” A slogan that seems to be particularly popular for selling beer and sport cars.

Time overwhelms us. If you think about all those nameless people who went before us and all those who will follow us, you can feel lost in the multitudes. Few of us will achieve the fame to be remembered 100 years from now – not that such remembrance could factor into our lives now because we won’t know if we will be remembered or what we will be remembered for. The vast majority of us will not be remembered here.

You have to shy away from such knowledge, you know. You can’t live your life with eternity peering over your shoulder. The responsibility of living for the future can drain away your joy now. There is a balance we should seek between now and eternity, between pleasure and responsibility, and between us and other people. “Moderation in all things,” to quote a very wise man.

Balance. There’s the rub. How to gain it. How to keep it. How to be an adult in a world that celebrates bad behavior. We’re not a society that appreciates good behavior. Bad behavior will get you on a so-called reality show. Bad behavior will get your name in the tabloids. People will know you if you have more money than sense, cheat on your lover, steal money from friends, curse to shame a sailor, and perform other egregious actions. It helps if you can blame your actions on a substance abuse problem. That way you can go into detox, and the stories you’ll tell and will be told about you! You won’t be happy, but you’ll be busy with yourself, and isn’t that what life is all about? If you kill yourself later on, well, that’s sad, but you might even get songs written about you and at least one made-for-TV movie on one of the thousands of cable channels.

But we’re made for so much more. We can be a light to our friends. We can be kind to our enemies. We can leave the world a better place than we found it. We can be adult and reasonable and sane and right. Not because there will be a reward for it down here – because there probably won’t be – but because it’s the right thing to do. When we humans finally do the right thing because it’s right and not because we’re rewarded for such, then we will have finally at long last grown up.

I hope it’s soon. Don't you?

Buy the Second Edition of Murder by the Acre here!

2012 Oakleaf Harbor Christmas Cards now on sale!
Buy Floozy and Other Stories at Amazon.com
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Buy Floozy and Other Stories in paperback at Lulu.com
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Buy Murder by the Acre at Amazon.com
Buy Murder by the Acre at Barnes&Noble.com
Buy Murder by the Acre at BooksAMillion.com
Buy Murder by the Acre in soft cover at Lulu.com
Buy Murder by the Acre in hardcover at Lulu.com
Buy Floozy, MBTA & MBDD items and more at Oakleaf Harbor

Religion versus science

Over at a friend's blog some time back, an atheist wandered by and engaged the group in a discussion. After a hundred or so comments, I was inclined to join it. Here is what I wrote:

Like a bear drawn out of his den, I will finally comment on this debate. I was lured out by the mention of physics, which as y'all know, I love the way some people love chocolate.

However, this debate, to my disappointment, has no physics in it. Sigh. Since I'm already awake, I'll throw in and hope that if I can't inject clarity, I will at least not increase the muddiness of the water. I won't promise to reply to any comments, but I might, although if my past behavior is a good indicator of my future behavior, I won't.

As I understand it, (the atheist) is asking Christians to prove there is a God of some sort. That question cuts both ways: (the atheist) could be asked to prove there isn't one. Either way, the answer is the same. You cannot prove the existence or non-existence of God in a concrete, scientific fashion. Many intangibles fall into this category. And since they can't be proved, it is certainly within rational limits to decide for yourself that they don't exist. I don't agree with that decision, but I can understand the reasoning behind it.

Let's not fault science in this. Science isn't meant to prove or disprove matters of faith. This recent incursion into the religious arena is only because religion decided to insert itself into science. The scientists have responded in depressingly like fashion to the attacks that zealots have inflicted on their ranks. This is not to say that science is blameless. Many scientists' obvious contempt for religion only infuriates their opponents. I well remember my college biology profession telling my entire class that "Evolution proves there is no God." Why, no, that's not what evolution proves. That's not what it was meant to prove. You can use it in that way, but it demeans the science involved. Science is supposed to be about facts, not beliefs. But science is done by people, and every person carries a burden of beliefs. Those beliefs influence science. Science, however, tries to be -- and mostly is -- a self-correcting process. New knowledge informs previous theories, and the theories are adjusted. Sometimes this adjustment takes years because scientists like to hold on to cherished beliefs as much as the next person, but the process is unrelenting, unforgiving, and uncaring in its progress. Eventually a new, better theory results.

Frankly, the battle between science and religion is a poor use of time for both sides. People will believe what they choose to believe and then find the reasons to justify that belief, despite all evidence to the contrary. Humans have always been that way, and I don't see us changing any time soon. All that really happens when science and religion clash is that a lot of rhetoric is generated; both sides get to score dubious points; the worst among us insult people of differing beliefs; etc. That doesn't mean that people can't or shouldn't share how they view the world, but as soon as voices are raised and potshots are hurled, it's simply not productive. There are people who make it their hobby to generate noise and fury. I generally find them to be a waste of breath and often think their bodies should be painfully recycled into the earth.

As most of you know, I love science and the church equally. I am a cantankerous Christian, a Southern Baptist with Pentecostal roots with a toe in Buddhism. I am also a rational Christian, if you can fit your mind around that concept. How this translates into behavior is as follows: To pray for healing and to use doctors. To believe God created the heavens and to accept the latest findings about how the cosmos formed. To acknowledge the limits of faith as well the boundaries of science. To remain grateful for the gift of intellect and the gift of life in which to use it. To believe that life is too precious to waste since we will be dead infinitely longer than we will be alive, and while we know there is an afterlife, we also know that we won't be here on earth to help those around us.

I am quite sure this all sounds too depressingly adult. It's much more fun to wave our arms around wildly and claim the earth is 6,000 years old or that the dinosaurs were killed by the Flood or that string theory proves the nonexistence -- or existence -- of God or that God is merely a higher dimensional being (as per Flatland) or that cargo cults are a good analogy for all religious behavior, and so on and so on.

For me, it comes down to this: I know that God exists. He loves me. He sent His Son to die for me. Amazingly and wonderfully, He found me worthy of such a sacrifice. I wish and pray more people had that belief. I think they would be happier if they did. But they have the right not to, and I will not gainsay that. I only require that they grant me the same indulgence as I grant them.

Next book!

It's official: Tales from Bethlehem will be the next book published by Many Rivers Harbor. Look for it in October. And it was assigned its ISBN today. Below is the prelim cover with the ISBN.

Except from an unfinished book

Several years back, a friend and I were working on a book about debt. For various reasons, the book was never finished, but I always liked this excerpt from it. It's good advice we should all follow.

Excerpt from Debt Free At Last! 50 Ways to Win Your Financial Freedom

Do you have a saving account? If not, why not? We don’t think there’s any good reason not to have one. You can start one with as little as $20. This is a priority. You must have a saving account as soon as possible.

And you must start saving some money immediately. It doesn’t matter that you’re not socking away hundreds of dollars. It only matters that you have a savings plan that you can handle and control.

You might notice we didn’t say anything about looking at interest rates on a savings account. Do look around for the best rate you can find, but the sad truth is savings accounts rarely pay as much interest as what inflation is taking from you. That doesn’t matter. You want your savings account for other reasons; making money is not its primary purpose.

Its primary purpose is to protect you and your family from financial emergencies. Before you invest in CDs or any other financial products, you should have an emergency fund first. We recommend at least three months salary; more is better, but get some money put away as soon as you can.

What is the emergency fund for? It’s not to buy clothes or birthday presents or designer purses. It’s for real emergencies. Here’s a list of emergencies and non-emergencies:

Paying the deductible on your car insurance so you can get your car repaired after an accident – Emergency.
Getting a tattoo – Non-emergency.
Paying your bills after you’ve been laid off – Emergency.
Buying a new flat screen TV – Non-emergency.
Paying unexpected medical expenses – Emergency.
Repairing your car so you can get to work or job search – Emergency.
Purchasing the latest video game – Non-emergency.
Repairing your home heater after it quits working – Emergency.
Taking a vacation – Non-emergency.
Replacing your prescription eyeglasses – Emergency.
Buying designer frames for your eyeglasses – Non-emergency.

You could possibly turn some of those emergencies into non-emergencies if you’re able to work out payment plans and can tap other resources. For instance, some automotive body shops will waive your deductible or let you pay that amount out since they’re getting the majority from your insurance company. And medical providers usually have some type of payment plan. Investigate your options before depleting your fund. You don’t want to tap your emergency fund unless you have to. It’s there behind you, protecting you and your family from the insecurities of life. If you protect it, it will protect you.

The second purpose of a savings account is to get you used to the idea of saving money. Many people do not have this habit. Money burns a hole in their lives. They have nothing and will never have anything – unless they win the lottery -- because they save nothing. (And if that millions-to-one chance happens and they do win the lottery, you can be assured they will be broke again soon enough.)

You’re not one of those people. You understand the importance of the habit of savings. You take care of your home, car, and your relationships because you want them all to last as long as possible. You’re smart, aren’t you?

The third – and perhaps most important – purpose of an emergency fund is to give you and your family a sense of security. In this insecure world in which stock markets crash and jobs are here this morning and gone this afternoon, you are planning for the future. You are going to see to it – to the best of your ability – that you and your family don’t have to do without clothing, food, or shelter. You’re who stands between them and the problems of financial ruin. They are fortunate they have you because you’re going to take care of them.

Remember this: it doesn’t matter how much you save at the beginning as long as you save some. Five or 10 dollars a week is fine if that’s what you can manage. As long as you consistently save money, you will soon see your savings increase. And that little bit of interest you receive is the cherry on top.

Look at your budget. (We just made one, remember?) See how much you can put into an emergency fund savings account this month, this week, now. Is it more important to have all those premium channels on your TV or to secure you and your family’s financial future? It’s an easy decision to make when you take the long view. And you’re a smart person so the long view is easy for you.

Start a savings account now. Someday – maybe sooner than we hope - you and your family will be glad you did.

Copyright 2012 by Stephen B. Bagley. All rights reserved.


Buy the Second Edition of Murder by the Acre here!
2012 Oakleaf Harbor Christmas Cards now on sale!
Buy Floozy and Other Stories at Amazon.com
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Buy Floozy and Other Stories in paperback at Lulu.com
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Shipwreck

Shipwreck

We slip beneath the waves

Black water closes over

cold comfort to life's pain

Numb can be a blessing

How deep can we sink

before light fades completely?

How soon will our vision

fail totally and give us peace?

Above a forever storm rages

Life's cruel fury without regard

to those below who grasp

grimly onto the remaining debris.

But here it is calm as the currents

take us into the dark depths

A struggle for breath mercifully brief

The waters flood in -- wait!

I think

I see

a

light

...

..

.

Copyright 2012 by Stephen B. Bagley. All rights reserved. No copying without express written permission from the author and publisher. Thanks for reading.

Buy the Second Edition of Murder by the Acre here!

2012 Oakleaf Harbor Christmas Cards now on sale!
Buy Floozy and Other Stories at Amazon.com
Buy Floozy and Other Stories at Barnes&Noble.com
Buy Floozy and Other Stories in paperback at Lulu.com
Buy Floozy and Other Stories in hardcover at Lulu.com
Buy Murder by Dewey Decimal at Amazon.com
Buy Murder by Dewey Decimal at Barnes&Noble.com
Buy Murder by Dewey Decimal at BooksAMillion.com
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Buy Floozy, MBTA & MBDD items and more at Oakleaf Harbor

Bills

Paying my bills always reminds of a little poem that my mama told me once. It perfectly sums up my situation.

Little Liza Jane
sitting on a fence
trying to make a dollar
out of 99 cents

I'm right up there sitting beside Liza.

A possible cover for a possible book

This may possibly -- possibly -- the next book from Many Rivers Harbor. What do you think of the cover?

Support

Authors should support other authors. That's what I do. That's what I think other authors should do. That's what a lot of other authors do.

But I know a stinky small minded "author" who needs to be slapped upside her weasel head for being rude to another author for no good reason. Another writer's success does not diminish our success.

Jealousy is an ugly thing, and it will NEVER lead to success in any form or fashion.

High Maintenance

High Maintenance

If I could somehow offer you
my heart on the proverbial silver tray
garnished with gold truffles
topped with a sprinkle of diamonds,
would it finally be enough?

Or perhaps I steal for you
the sweet hymn of heaven,
which only the archangels
have gloriously sung,
would you be satisfied?

Maybe even wrestle time itself
and plunder from its secret vault
the elixir of eternal youth
so age never touches your lush body,
could you be content then?

But the more important question may be
if I could do these wondrous things
if such miracles I could bring forth
as easy as buttering your bread,
why oh why would I waste them on you?


Copyright 2012 by Stephen B. Bagley. All rights reserved. No copying without express written permission from the author and publisher. Thanks for reading.

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Mistaken

Mistaken

When your fangs sank into my neck

when my body shuddered

when I gave my last gasp

did you imagine it was because of you?

Did you think I was frightened?

Did you think I was aroused?

Did you think I was begging?

Did you imagine I was prey?

And when the three days passed

and I clawed my way from my grave

to find you confidently waiting,

did you imagine I would be grateful?

What a surprise then it must have been

to learn of the cancer ravaging

my body and how I searched for you --

did you imagine it was your choice?

Your choice to take my flesh in your jaws?

Your choice to feed on my hot blood?

Your choice to make me like you?

Did you imagine you ever had a choice?

So sad to know, my dear, that becoming

a creature of the infinite dark didn't

increase your intelligence one iota.

Who ever would imagine that?

Copyright 2012 by Stephen B. Bagley. All rights reserved. No copying without express written permission from the author and publisher. Thank you for reading.


Buy the Second Edition of Murder by the Acre here!
2012 Oakleaf Harbor Christmas Cards now on sale!
Buy Floozy and Other Stories at Amazon.com
Buy Floozy and Other Stories at Barnes&Noble.com
Buy Floozy and Other Stories in paperback at Lulu.com
Buy Floozy and Other Stories in hardcover at Lulu.com
Buy Murder by Dewey Decimal at Amazon.com
Buy Murder by Dewey Decimal at Barnes&Noble.com
Buy Murder by Dewey Decimal at BooksAMillion.com
Buy Murder by Dewey Decimal at Lulu.com
Buy Murder by the Acre at Amazon.com
Buy Murder by the Acre at Barnes&Noble.com
Buy Murder by the Acre at BooksAMillion.com
Buy Murder by the Acre in soft cover at Lulu.com
Buy Murder by the Acre in hardcover at Lulu.com
Buy Floozy, MBTA & MBDD items and more at Oakleaf Harbor

Liberal

Yes, I'm becoming more liberal. Didn't think I would, but this last year has changed me in ways I didn't expect. I haven't changed in my belief that a government shouldn't spend more than it takes in and believe keeping a budget (both citizens and government) is the best way for our economy to improve, but I'm becoming very particular and vocal about what the government should be spending its money on.

First, bring our troops home. I'm tired of them dying. I'm sick of it. Whatever the various reasons are, they're not enough. Yes, that will save us some money, but frankly, I just want them home. A friend of mine's son died in Iraq. He died bravely and proudly, but I don't know when she will be able to go on with her life. Enough. I want our soldiers safe. I want them home. It's a nest of vipers over there, and we can't put our hands in without being bitten. Let's stop putting our hands in.

Second, education. We're falling behind the rest of the world in producing doctors, engineers, nurses, software designers, etc. Put our money into scholarships for students in those fields. Recapture our technological edge.

Third, buy American. Our government needs to buy American. I don't care if costs more. Buying paper, supplies, computers, cars, trucks, guns, ammo, uniforms, food, etc., from foreign firms only keeps our money flowing overseas. Spend our money here.

Fourth, stop giving money to foreign governments. Don't stop food for children or malaria nets or supples for digging wells, but stop sending money overseas to prop up dictators. No more.

Fifth, make sure our children get good lunches and if necessary good breakfasts in their schools. Ketchup is not a vegetable. Anyone who says it is deserves to drown in a vat of it.

Sixth, fix our roads and bridges. Rebuild America before we rebuild Iraq and Afghanistan and whatever other county busy blowing itself up. Remember when America build the Interstates? We can do it again.

Seventh, strip all our Congressmen -- past and present -- of their benefits. They get what the poorest Americans get. And hey, let's cut those salaries in half.

Eighth, our libraries, schools, and museums need money. Let's spend more on them. Make sure people have access to information they need.

Ninth, tax the living crap out of oil and pharmaceutical companies. They sell gas and drugs cheaper overseas than they do to us. Enough. Either treat Americans right or be taxed until we can't tax you anymore.

Tenth, do not allow -- ever again -- someone to bring a stupid "Their religious display offends me when I look" or "I don't want to say the Pledge of Allegiance" case to court again. We spend millions on these types of cases. Enough is enough. If the display offends you, don't look. You don't want to say the Pledge, then sit there and be quiet.

Eleventh, legalize marijuana. Yeah, I didn't think I would ever say that, either, but enough is enough. We're spending millions to enforce laws against it, and all we've done is crowd our courts and prisons. Let the tobacco companies have it -- and tax them.

Twelfth, speaking of tobacco companies, stop giving them farm subsidies. Bad enough that they lied about the hazards of smoking of years, bad enough we made a deal with them that in no way pays back all the government money spent to care for people with various cancers, but let's stop giving them money to grow a plant that kills people.

Enough for now. You can catch your breath. Sorry if I offended anyone, but if I did, perhaps you should consider that you're too easily offended.

Oh wait, one more thing. No more economic sanctions on foreign countries. I want us to flood them with our products, movies, magazines, computers, etc. We live an amazing life in America. We want them to want to be us. We want them to want what we have. And we want them to pay for it.

Talk to you tomorrow.

Frank Sinatra -Summer Wind (1966)

And sometimes you need a bit more Sinatra.

Frank Sinatra - The Way You Look Tonight Original

Look, sometime you just need a bit of Sinatra.

Not lumping

I do my best to not lump people into groups. I know some jerk Republicans, and I know some wonderful Republicans. I know some jerk Democrats, and I know some wonderful Democrats. It's always easier to hate and insult a group than it is an individual.

Of course, it's too adult to say, "I disagree with point 1 of the Republican platform." It's too civilized to say, "Point 3 of the Democratic platform won't work." It's much easier to deny someone's citizenship or mock their religion or say all Democrats are godless and all Republicans are heartless.

To make such actions easier, we have mastered the mathematics of justification: "They did it so we can do it. We do it so they can too. Their wrong = our wrong." And yet Jesus said in Matthew 5:44, "But I say unto you, Love your enemies, bless them that curse you, do good to them that hate you, and pray for them who despitefully use you, and persecute you."

I often get accused of "preaching" to people, and in the past, I have let myself be cowed by such remarks. Still, if I love Jesus -- and I do -- then I have a responsibility to share His loving words -- even if I'm told I'm preaching -- with everyone I can.

Understand that I only do so now because it grieves me to see my friends and family and fellow citizens be hateful and destructive to each other. I know I'm rather childish about this, but seriously, shouldn't you feel that way, too?

Buy the Second Edition of Murder by the Acre here!
2012 Oakleaf Harbor Christmas Cards now on sale!
Buy Floozy and Other Stories at Amazon.com
Buy Floozy and Other Stories at Barnes&Noble.com
Buy Floozy and Other Stories in paperback at Lulu.com
Buy Floozy and Other Stories in hardcover at Lulu.com
Buy Murder by Dewey Decimal at Amazon.com
Buy Murder by Dewey Decimal at Barnes&Noble.com
Buy Murder by Dewey Decimal at BooksAMillion.com
Buy Murder by Dewey Decimal at Lulu.com
Buy Murder by the Acre at Amazon.com
Buy Murder by the Acre at Barnes&Noble.com
Buy Murder by the Acre at BooksAMillion.com
Buy Murder by the Acre in soft cover at Lulu.com
Buy Murder by the Acre in hardcover at Lulu.com
Buy Floozy, MBTA & MBDD items and more at Oakleaf Harbor

Restless

I am restless tonight. No good reason. Maybe because one project is ending, and the next one has started. Never know exactly what to do with myself. I always feel I should be doing something important. Or fun. Or exciting. Or something other than what I'm doing. Which is why I'm posting. Because it's something to do. And it feels productive to share with you.

 'Course it's always hard to know what to share. As I've told you before, this blog is an edited account of my life. Not that I live that racy or mysterious a life, but it does involve other people and I learned the value of respecting other people's privacy a long time ago. Nothing annoys me more than when a friend tells something I wanted kept private. Of course, if they do that more than once, they become an acquaintance. And if they keep doing that, a stranger.

Let's see: Have I talked about Many Rivers Harbor here? Not sure. It's a micro-publishing company. Here's its website: Many Rivers Harbor. It's taking up a lot of my time lately. Yes, it's mine. Two books published already. A third one in the wings waiting to take the stage. I confess to feeling a lot of pride in those books, but they're not "my" books. It feels weird to publish them when they don't belong to me. I guess I will get used to it.

Well, think I will do a couple of chores now. Hope you're having a great night! Talk to you tomorrow.

Buy the Second Edition of Murder by the Acre here!
2012 Oakleaf Harbor Christmas Cards now on sale!
Buy Floozy and Other Stories at Amazon.com
Buy Floozy and Other Stories at Barnes&Noble.com
Buy Floozy and Other Stories in paperback at Lulu.com
Buy Floozy and Other Stories in hardcover at Lulu.com
Buy Murder by Dewey Decimal at Amazon.com
Buy Murder by Dewey Decimal at Barnes&Noble.com
Buy Murder by Dewey Decimal at BooksAMillion.com
Buy Murder by Dewey Decimal at Lulu.com
Buy Murder by the Acre at Amazon.com
Buy Murder by the Acre at Barnes&Noble.com
Buy Murder by the Acre at BooksAMillion.com
Buy Murder by the Acre in soft cover at Lulu.com
Buy Murder by the Acre in hardcover at Lulu.com
Buy Floozy, MBTA & MBDD items and more at Oakleaf Harbor

A store for my books

Wanted to let you know that my are available in Ada at Karen's Art & Framing at 108 East Main. This includes: Creations 2012, EndlesS, Floozy & Other Stories, Murder by the Acre, and Murder by Dewey Decimal. Drop in and pick up a couple!

My favorite flower photo

Of all my flower photos, this one is the best, I think. What do you think?

Not an easy god

There should be places you can go when the world is too much. Places that welcome you without questions and with endless compassion. Where you can be safe and secure. Where the only problems are remembering to set your alarm so that you can greet the glorious sunrise and deciding what fruit to pick from the laden trees. And as you sit under a spreading oak tree in an easy chair, you look across the rolling land to the golden fields and feel your battered spirit release its burdens. You sigh, and your eyes well with joyful tears.

That's what heaven is supposed to be. That's what God is.

Not that we allow that. We humans make it so hard. God has to be vengeful, shallow, tiny, bigoted, judgmental, self-righteous, furious, the heavy-handed father whose children cringe at His approach. Because we've created so many gods in the past, we think God should conform. He should support who we vote for, and He should shower forgiveness only on those we find worthy. We preach of His miracles, but in the same breath, we deny His grace and power. He's infinite, and we resent it and attempt to force Him into a box that we can control and understand.

Of course, God is beyond that. Despite our best efforts, He reaches beyond our efforts to silence Him, He keeps sending His message to the world, He denies our best attempts to make Him into an easy god. He keeps reaching out to us.

He says, "Come home. I have a place for you. For all of you. There is a feast prepared. There is music and peace and calm. There is joy and dancing and eternal joy."

And we won't listen. We hold onto terrible things that hurt us, we deny the common sense of letting Him lead us, we would rather die in hate than live in everlasting love. How our wilful ignorance must grieve Him. We must break His heart day after day. I don't know why He still loves us. I don't know why He still wants us. But then I'm not God.

I'm just a person, like you, like all of us, attempting to understand the infinite mercy extended to me, attempting to live day-by-day, trying to get up each time I fall, trying to believe while living in world that seems determined to destroy all grace and beauty. Sometimes I lose hope. Sometimes I despair. Sometimes I give up.

But then He sends me help. He reminds me that He hasn't moved. He reminds me that He loves me. He loves me.

This evening when I'm so tired of my problems, exhausted from money troubles, worn beyond my capacity to continue to face the unnamed terror of my future, when I finally turn to Him -- doing in the last place what I should have done in the first place -- He gathers me up and lets me rest in His haven.

I am so grateful.

I have no words.

Nothing but praise for His never-ending love.

His never-ending love for you and me.

Rob Thomas - Someday (Video)