Shaped against the dark

Murder by the Mile is beating the crap out of me. I've never NEVER had a piece of writing fight so hard to not be written. I can't understand it. I don't know why MBTM would be different from any of my other works. I've spent hours and hours and hours trying to figure out why the story won't flow.

It may be because this is probably the last story for those characters. I do love them, but the books haven't made as much money as they need to. Of course, I could always write more, but in terms of time invested and income received, the books fall in the red. Blood red.

And maybe it's because I don't know what to write next. No new characters are barging them way into my head and demanding I tell their stories NOW. No new projects are pushing me to finish this one so that it can be written.

Maybe I'm just lazy. Maybe I'm not hungry anymore. Maybe I'm giving up. Maybe the time for my dreams is past. Maybe there's nothing except gathering darkness from now on. Maybe the door has closed and the windows are shut and the drapes drawn and silence is filling the rooms. Maybe decay has won.

I don't know.

I do know that I'm not giving up. Not yet. Not ever. I'm skilled at stubborn. I'm an expert in survival. I don't know any other way to live other than with my chin set and my eyes defiant and my heart shaped against the night.

So I'll continue to work on Murder by the Mile. And one way or another, by hook or crook or probably both, that story will be told.

And then I'll write more.

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