Breaking the toe

Did I mention I broke my toe Monday night? I broke my toe Monday night. I dropped a book on my foot. It hurt a lot, but I thought it would be okay. The next morning it was swelled and started to develop some impressive bruising. Not anything they can do for a broken toe besides a little foam splint. It just has to heal. The bruising is spectacular, though. Blue, black, green. Lovely.

I have a new healthcare proposal: Send all your money to me. I will use it to get me the finest healthcare available today. Now there's a plan!

By the way, I love it when I have super speed on World of Warcraft. Wish I had it in real life. That would be so cool to zip along that speed.

You may notice the fish went away. (Yes, you may. I'm giving you permission.) Apparently after the latest rounds of upgrades, Internet Explorer 6 & 7 were having trouble opening my page due to the coding of the fish. Bye, bye, fish. Thanks to Gloria Williams for letting me know about this problem. I knew I was having trouble -- except not with Google Chrome -- but I didn't know other people were. A lot of my readers use Chrome or Firefox or IE 8. So far, no trouble reported on any of those browsesr. Let me know if any crop up.

The June family newsletter will be mailed out tomorrow. I had hoped to have the July one out by this time, but couldn't quite make it. I intend -- God willing -- to put the July one out next week. Then I'll just need the August and September one to catch up. The newsletter is a lot of work, but I had forgotten how much I enjoyed the actual designing of each issue.

And that's all the news I have now. How are you? I hope things are going well. Good night!

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Mondo Monday

Missed work today because I was sick. No, that's not right. I didn't miss work; I was absent from work because I was sick ... if you catch my meaning. However, being home sick definitely makes work more attractive.

The antibiotic is doing its best to put me down for the count. I'm not sure if it's working since I'm still coughing blood, but I'm only half-way through and the doctor said it might take a while. After all, I've coughed blood for a year now. Yes, that's got really old. About the only time I haven't coughed blood was right after the lung scope -- which was supposed to make me cough blood. Contrary to the extreme, I am.

I've been attempting to get writing on Murder by the Mile. The story is refusing to come. Quite annoying. I don't have the story straight in my head yet. Have to keep thinking about it.

Going to call it a night now. I hope you had a good Monday. Talk to you tomorrow.

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We Fall Down

Today I got up sick after having spent the night sick. I started reading Hope for Each Day by Billy Graham. I wanted to share part of what I read:

In the midst of his suffering, Job said, "Man is born to trouble as surely as sparks fly upward." (Job 5:7, NIV). It is true. I have never met a person who did not have troubles of some kind. Fear and sickness rob us of happiness; broken relationships and shattered dreams destroy our peace.

But one of God's greatest promises is that all of these will be forgotten in Heaven, where "there shall be no more death, nor sorrow, nor crying. There shall be no more pain, for the former things have passed away." (Rev. 21:4)

This is the supreme reality of Heaven. Throughout eternity there will be an intimate relationship between Christ and His Church. He will be the Lamb who is in the midst of the throne, and He shall lead them to the fountains of living waters.

I found comfort in those words. I hope you will, too. Have a blessed and peaceful week.




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Ananias

Didn't mean to leave the health care post up so long, particularly since the public option is apparently going to be sacrificed for political expediency. A good rule of thumb is that anytime a politician gives up on a program because of political pressure, the program was probably going to hurt wealthy people and corporations who have the money to oppose it -- and program would have helped people who don't have the wealth to lobby government.

This is a country of haves and have-nots. The ruling class likes it that way. They intend to keep it that way. Frankly, I've given up. There isn't any hope of ever having a government by the people for the people, not while the Republicans and Democrats exist. A bit bleak, but that's how I feel lately.

I think there's going to be a reckoning some day. I keep thinking about Russia before their Red Revolution. The czar and their nobles partied in their palaces, never realizing that the their downtrodden people would eventually rise and be willing to die to sweep them away. Sadly enough, their people only exchanged one tyranny for another. I wonder what will happen here and if I'll be around to see. Let's change the subject.

It's been hard week emotionally and physically. The OKC doctor started me on a ten-run of a particularly nasty antibiotic. They found two different bugs in my lung, one of which could be lethal so we're trying to wipe it out. The antibiotic has made me incredibly sick. And I'm exhausted. I can't sleep for more than a couple of hours without having to get up. Not fun, but this is my fourth day. Halfway there.

It's late, and I'm tired. We'll close now. Tomorrow will be better. It's Sunday, and I always feel better on Sundays. Something about putting my eyes on God. Anyway, good night and good morrow.

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Taking sides

I want you to know that I support a public option for health care, even one as flawed as the current one on the table. Yes, get ready your "socialized medicine" and "one world government" comments. I'll load up my "selfish" and "short-sighted" ones. We can have at each other in a moment.

I thought this post by Roger Ebert expressed exactly what I feel about the current health plan debate. Read the comments, too, as they are insightful.

Let me acknowledge my bias in this: I do not have health insurance and cannot not purchase it due to preexisting conditions (diabetes and respiratory problems). I have been turned down by several companies, including ones that said they make allowances for preexisting conditions. As a result, the bills from my recent medical problems have pushed me to the edge of bankruptcy. My budget is razor-thin. One more medical test or a car breakdown or a roof leak or another unexpected bill and I'm toast. I want health insurance. I'm willing to pay for health insurance. But I cannot get it.

And don't mention the Oklahoma's Department of Human Services to me. I make too much money at my present job to qualify for any assistance with health care costs. I have tried several times, but there is no aid for people in the middle.

I mention all this not to get any sympathy, but for you to realize that I'm the face of the uninsured in America. Me. Stephen. Think about that the next time you casually dismiss any chance for a public option on health insurance. What you're saying is that it's okay for me to be uninsured, that it's okay for me to be beat down by my bills. Think about that.

And one more thing: I don't forgive you for saying that. Because you're not truly sorry. There's no apology to be accepted. And even if you offered it, I won't accept. Whether we like it or not, health care is war, and I've picked my side. Now it's up to you to pick yours.

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A few items of interest or not

I restarted my family newsletter. I haven't published it for the past four months. Simply didn't have the energy. But I feel better and finally mailed out the May (!) issue this Monday. I'm busy on the June issue and hope to finish it this week. Then I'll start work on the July issue. And after that, the August issue ... which means I'll probably be caught up some time in late September. I hope. I could have skipped those months, but my subscribers paid for 12 issues a year, and I'm going to try to give them 12 issues a year. We'll see how that goes.

World of Warcraft is taking some of my time these days. I've gone up four levels over the past three weeks and should go up another level tonight. Which will make me 66th level. In the past few months, weeks went by without me playing at all. In fact, I have considered cancelling it. However, I guess I was away from it enough that I'm interested again. Also, I'm high enough level that some of the more frustrating aspects have lessened. Or maybe I've finally learned how to play the game with a bit of skill. Either way, I'm having fun playing again.

Next week will be the season finale for The Closer. This season hasn't been as strong as previous seasons, although last night's episode about a shooting at a school was powerful and sad. I kinda like Warehouse 13, but they sure need better scripts. And get rid of the new girl. Or at least tone down her annoying personality. Leverage has been good, but not as good as their first season. And a couple of their cons -- particularly the one at a middle school -- were simply silly. Bones is good, but I'm hoping their upcoming season, starting in September, will be less personality and more puzzling crimes.

My roomie worked extra hard and got the swimming pool set up. I've been in it several times now. Very nice to float in the water and stare up at the blue sky. Is there a job where I could do that all day and make lots of money? There should be. I want that job!

Did you take advantage of the government's Cash for Clunkers program? Me, neither. My clunker, sadly enough, didn't qualify. Not that I could have afforded a car payment right now, but it was nice to dream. Guess my '89 Topaz needs to keep going for a few more years if it can. I could have afforded a car payment except I'm busy sending money to the various medical establishments. All of them -- except one -- have been really nice as I worked out a payment plan with them. One of them, however, still calls me every day, Monday through Friday, in a vain attempt to squeeze blood out of a stone. Good luck with that.

I received some news on my health yesterday. I'm not sure exactly what it means yet, but maybe they finally have a handle on what's been making me so ill. They've started me on new medicine this morning. It's a ten-day run of this. I'm hoping I will feel better soon.

Now I'd better get to work. Talk to you tomorrow! Have a great Tuesday.

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Many blessings

Whenever I throw a pity party, whenever I get too whiny even for me, I try to reflect on the many blessings I have just because I was born in the United States. I have a roof over my head, food in my (too-large) stomach, clothing to fill a closet, access to health care, more books than I can ever read, more TV shows than I ever want to watch, more opportunities undenied. It helps to realize that by the accident of my birth country, I do not face what so many of our world's people do. Whether I remember it all the time or act like it all the time, God has greatly blessed me, and I give Him my thanks.



Have a blessed and safe Sunday. Talk to you Monday!

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Junkie

I think it’s time I confess something ... I have a monkey on my back. No, his name isn’t George. No, I have an addiction that I’ve struggled with for years, and it’s time to come clean. Don’t judge me. Try to understand my torment. It’s this: I’m addicted to office supplies.

Yes, that’s right. Office supplies. I. Love. Them. Pens, pencils, folders, notebooks, staplers, erasers, rulers, three hole punchers, paperclips, envelopes, sticky notes, letter openers, tape dispensers, labels, journals, ledgers, and correction tapes. Those are just the things on my desk. I have much more, piled on shelves in my hallway and in my closets.

I even have variations on the items I do have. Pens in all colors and sizes. Pencils with movie themed designs on them. Reams of specialty papers from a dozen different stores. Paperclips of all sizes, including a jumbo one that you could use as crutch if you had an office supply injury.

Other people drive to Oklahoma City or Tulsa to go to the theater or to eat at a 4-star restaurant. I go to visit Office Max. Or Office Depot. When my town got a Staples store, I was there on opening day. I wandered the aisles, enraptured by the gleaming merchandise, all the glorious office supplies! It was mine, all mine! Two clerks followed me with an oxygen tank and mask just in case I was overcome.

I’ve often wondered if the reason I chose to become a writer and dabble in graphic design was because then I’d have a good reason to collect office supplies.

But don’t think I’m the only one with this curious bent in their personality. I see other people in the aisles at Staples, their carts filled with wonderful gadgets and enough paper for seven high schools. Our eyes meet briefly. We know what’s going on, but we pass silently, me on the way to the display of computer-printable greeting cards, they to their particular addiction.

We’re stronger than this yearning, of course. We know we could turn away from the clearance bin items. We don’t really need a stapler with a bright blue metallic finish or heavyweight envelopes with clever geometric designs or colored folders for our files. We always know we can stop if we want to.

But we don’t want to stop. And I’d be careful if I were you even suggesting it. Some of our monkeys carry letter openers. Sharp ones.

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WoWified

I've been WoWified the past couple of weeks. Yes, World of Warcraft has sucked me in again. I've actually went up two levels over this time period and are well on my way toward achieving another level. Yes, it's non-productive. Yes, I have plenty of other things to do. But yes, it's a lot of fun, and I'm going to continue. At least until I get bored again

I was supposed to meet my friend Roen on WoW to get some help from here, but I had to work late and came home ill so I didn't get any real WoW time in. Too much stress at work. Maybe tomorrow night.

Otherwise, not much to tell you. I did have a productive weekend. Had a huge list of chores and got lots of them done. And hey, my pool is finally set up. We're still working on getting the water clear so I haven't been in yet, but maybe tomorrow if it's not raining.

And now, it's 10:20 p.m. so I'm going to close. Y'all have a great Tuesday. Night!

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The Beatitudes

The Beatitudes come from the Sermon of Mount and are recorded in the Gospel of St. Matthew 5:3-10. Biblical scholar Andrej Kodjak says that Jesus opened the Sermon with the Beatitudes in order to shock His listeners to attention. The Beatitudes were shocking because they inverted the standard values of that day. That shock value has been lost, however, due to the commonness of the text today.

Common or not, the Beatitudes contain true wisdom and a hope for a better world.

The Beatitudes

Blessed are the poor in spirit,
for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.

Blessed are they who mourn,
for they shall be comforted.

Blessed are the meek,
for they shall inherit the earth.

Blessed are they who hunger and thirst for righteousness,
for they shall be satisfied.

Blessed are the merciful,
for they shall obtain mercy.

Blessed are the pure of heart,
for they shall see God.

Blessed are the peacemakers,
for they shall be called children of God.

Blessed are they who are persecuted for the sake of righteousness,
for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.



Have a blessed and peaceful Sunday. Talk to you tomorrow!

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Made for more

It always comes down to this: Every second we live is a second closer to death. Most of us prefer to not think about it since it doesn’t seem healthy to dwell on our approaching demise. There are a few rare (thankfully) individuals who focus on death, sometimes to the extreme of choosing to commit murder or suicide or both. But most of us live our lives in the now. No one knows when they’re going to die, which allows us to make some terrible choices since we think we’re going to survive the consequences of our foolishness. Youth makes us immortal, we not-think.

All religions focus on death, or really the afterlife. It seems inconceivable to us that we won’t survive in some fashion, be it Heaven, Nirvana, or merging with the Cosmic Flow. To think of the earth as a staging area or a practice arena for what comes next helps many of us to find meaning in our lives. Other people choose to hedonistically live for the pleasure now. “You only get one life; live it to the fullest.” A slogan that seems to be particularly popular for selling beer and sport cars.

Time overwhelms us. If you think about all those nameless people who went before us and all those who will follow us, you can feel lost in the multitudes. Few of us will achieve the fame to be remembered 100 years from now – not that such remembrance could factor into our lives now because we won’t know if we will be remembered or what we will be remembered for. The vast majority of us will not be remembered here.

You have to shy away from such knowledge, you know. You can’t live your life with eternity peering over your shoulder. The responsibility of living for the future can drain away your joy now. There is a balance we should seek between now and eternity, between pleasure and responsibility, and between us and other people. “Moderation in all things,” to quote a very wise man.

Balance. There’s the rub. How to gain it. How to keep it. How to be an adult in a world that celebrates bad behavior. We’re not a society that appreciates good behavior. Bad behavior will get you on a so-called reality show. Bad behavior will get your name in the tabloids. People will know you if you have more money than sense, cheat on your lover, steal money from friends, curse to shame a sailor, and perform other egregious actions. It helps if you can blame your actions on a substance abuse problem. That way you can go into detox, and the stories you’ll tell and will be told about you! You won’t be happy, but you’ll be busy with yourself, and isn’t that what life is all about? If you kill yourself later on, well, that’s sad, but you might even get songs written about you and at least one made-for-TV movie on one of the thousands of cable channels.

But we’re made for so much more. We can be a light to our friends. We can be kind to our enemies. We can leave the world a better place than we found it. We can be adult and reasonable and sane and right. Not because there will be a reward for it – because there won’t be – but because it’s the right thing to do. When we humans finally do the right thing because it’s right and not because we’re rewarded for such, then we will have finally at long last grown up.

I hope it’s soon. Don't you?

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The 23rd Psalm

This is, of course, my favorite Psalm. I think it is for most people who have a favorite. Its message of comfort never fails to encourage me no matter what I'm going through.

The 23rd Psalm (King James Version)

1 The LORD is my shepherd; I shall not want.
2 He maketh me to lie down in green pastures: He leadeth me beside the still waters.
3 He restoreth my soul: He leadeth me in the paths of righteousness for His name's sake.
4 Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil: for Thou art with me; Thy rod and Thy staff they comfort me.
5 Thou preparest a table before me in the presence of mine enemies: Thou anointest my head with oil; my cup runneth over.
6 Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life: and I will dwell in the house of the LORD for ever.

This is a marvelous adaptation of Psalm 23 to music. Keith Green was an amazing musician. The world is less since he passed away, but Heaven is greater.



Have a wonderful, blessed, peaceful Sunday. See you Monday!

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