Guilty

When I'm not working on Floozy, I feel guilty. When I am working on it, I feel guilty about all the things I'm neglecting. Can't win.

It's going well, though. Not as fast as I like and the formatting is a beast, but overall, we're making progress each day. That's what counts. A step a day will eventually get you anywhere.

And on that realistic but hopeful note, I'm going to go to bed. Have a great night and wonderful tomorrow. Night!

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More on Floozy

Tired of me talking about Floozy yet? Well, you better gird up your listening loins 'cause we got months of talking left to do.

Tonight I entered in the first 55 pages of corrections and changes. Tomorrow night I hope to edit the next 50 or so pages and enter those corrections, but I probably will only be able to get the editing done. I'm hoping to finish the editing this weekend and also fix the formatting problems. I need to get the manuscript to my proofers so that I can concentrate on the cover.

I realize I'm the one setting the deadlines for me, and I could always push the publication date back into July. However, I'm hoping to publish Murder by the Mile by November of this year. I need Floozy finished and out there.

I'm not doing anything except Floozy so I have nothing else to talk about, but I'll be talking about it again tomorrow. Prepare yourself!

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Young marrieds and Floozy

Well, the young married couple are in the same house now. Apparently neither would leave. So ... they and the baby are there, together. They were going to take turns sleeping on the couch, but the husband felt guilty -- after all, she's the mother of his baby and the baby requires so much work -- so he gave her the bed and then she felt guilty -- after all, he works all day in a hard job supporting her and the baby -- and so they are in the same bed. At this point, I don't care to learn anymore. I think they're both crazy. CRAZY!

Floozy is moving along. I'm knee deep in the editing process. I hate this part. The writing is fun. The editing, not so much. But it makes the book better. It makes the book better. I have to keep telling myself that. It makes the book better.

Anyway, it's late, and I'm going to call it a night. Talk to you tomorrow.

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Update

The young married couple I talked about yesterday have decided to separate for a while. Sigh. Now they're fighting over who gets to stay in the house. They're being quite stupid, but they have both made it plain that they don't need or want my opinion. And that works for me. I sorrow for them, their marriage, and their baby, but when people want to walk off a cliff, you can't stop them however much you want to.

Enough of that: In good news, I'm printing the first edit copy of Floozy right now! This copy is for me, and I expect to find a couple of hundred errors, about one per page or so. That's about normal for me. I'll also be able to use the first edit copy to check the book's formatting. I think I messed it up about halfway thorough the book, but I'm hoping it will be okay. We'll see.

I had hoped to get the book to the proofreaders by May 3, but it will probably be May 10 now. I'm still shooting for May 3, but it depends on how many corrections I need to make and how difficult it is to fix any formatting problems I find. And I was unfortunately right. I can see the formatting messes up. Sigh. Well, 'tis to be expected, I guess. Formatting is one of the hardest aspects of self-publishing. At least it is to me.

It's late now, Floozy has finished printing, so I'm going to bed. Tomorrow, I start editing! Talk to you then.

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The Myth of Right and Wrong

Over the past week or so, I've been witness to a young married couple doing their dead level best to damage their marriage. Of course, they don't see it that way. They're mad at each other over a few thoughtless comments that mushroomed into a vicious yell-fest, and now they're busy trying to "win," even though winning promises to be a Pyrrhic victory. I don't know why they're doing it. I can't see why saying, "I'm sorry" and "I'll try to do better" is so hard, particularly considering how painful this conflict is.

I think part of the problem is that they're addicted to the myth of right and wrong in relationships. Of every argument having one person who's right and one person who's wrong. And truthfully, in most instances, no one is always right, no one is always wrong. Not that we're taught to see it that way. Our media, novels, TV, and so on portray a right/wrong world. Oh, there are complex novels, movies, etc., that try for something more, but for the most part, our stories are about someone winning and someone losing.

You see this in politics. I have friends on both sides -- conservative, liberals, Republicans, Democrats, Tea Party, Coffee Party -- and they are all positive the other side is simply wrong, wrong, wrong. And if you tell them that they hold that attitude, they will argue with you and tell you, "No, we don't. It's them. We want to work together, but they don't."

There's nothing wrong with simple stories. Sometimes it's easy to see who are the good guys and who are the bad. Our mistake is thinking that the world conforms to the simple stories all the time. Rarely is one side completely right and the other completely wrong. It's always a mix of varying degrees. Learning how to pick and choose the right from both sides ... that's the problem.

If we, as humans, as the only sentient species on this planet, could finally learn to do that, we would be taking our first steps to becoming grownups. We might actually be live up to our potential. We might be great.

But don't hold your breath.

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Old fashioned

Okay, here's the deal. I'm old-fashioned enough to lose respect for a vice president who casually uses the stupidly called F-bomb. I expect that word at bars, on HBO, and, unfortunately, at college football games. However, I don’t expect it from the man who is one heartbeat from the most respected office in our nation. Then to think it’s funny and to disregard the example he sets for our children! Yes, I said I was old-fashioned.

Now I would never take away his right to say it. He has the right to be as crass and vulgar as he wants to be in his language. Free speech, and I'm glad we have it. But I have the right to disapprove and to remember his lack of respect for common courtesy -- which is apparently uncommon in Congress -- when it comes time to vote again. It sure doesn't incline me to support policies that may be articulated by that mouth.

Okay, enough preaching. Night!

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Floozy update

Well, I'm at 192 pages with Floozy. Need eight more. Then the editing. Then the cover. Then the proofreading. Then the final edit. Then the submitting. Then the publicity.

Having real problems with the cover. Can't find the graphic I needed. Have to keep looking. I have this idea of what I want it to look like. Must continue the search when I can cram in the time.

Seems overwhelming when I look at all that has to be done. Have to focus on one element at a time. Finish writing it first. Don't worry about what follows. Just keep putting the keys to the keyboard, and don't look up.

Whew!

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Survivalist

So I have a friend who is a survivalist. He has five years of food, a couple of months of water, guns and ammo, medical supplies, etc. Has a nice cabin in the woods. It has solar power and a windmill, although he stills needs an electric line for all his power needs.

All through the Bush years, he complained about how the government was trying to become a dictatorship. He foamed at the mouth when the Patriot Act was passed. He could actually recite the Act and give you point by point how it was taking away our civil liberties.

I thought perhaps he would calm down when Obama was elected, but no, he's even more up in arms. The Health Plan, you see, will allow the government to embed nanobots into our brains and control us.

Well, after that, I had no choice. I reported him to the Secret Police, and they picked him up yesterday. I should get a share of his goods when they divide them up. At least enough to bribe the Controllers so they will upgrade my nanobots to less painful ones.

Life is good. It's not allowed to be anything less.

Copyright 2010 by Stephen B. Bagley. All rights reserved.

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New $100 bill

I don't get to have these very often, dang it.




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190!

Reached 190 pages on Floozy today! 10 more pages and five more essays, and it will be ready to start editing. I'm exhausted and excited and ready for bed.

Now remember to register for the various drawings on the Stephen B. Bagley's Books fan page on Facebook. We'll have another winner tomorrow. And yes, you must register for each drawing to win in that drawing! We're on the second drawing now where you can win a signed copy of the the second Measurements of Murder Mystery(r) Murder by the Acre by me, a signed copy of the devotional Devoted to Creating by Jen Nips, and a book tote from Covenant House.

Oh, if you're not on Facebook, you can comment here and enter all the drawings at once.

Talk to you tomorrow!

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Visit to a naughty planet

Excepted from Floozy. Copyright 2010 by Stephen B. Bagley

If an alien landed on this planet – his first mistake – and started studying us, he would have to think that sex was a pretty silly way to reproduce and that we spent too much time attempting to have sex even when we’re not trying to reproduce. All in all, he’d conclude, humans are simply crazy.

Then he would attempt to get off this planet ASAAP (As Soon As Alienly Possible), but too late! The Air Force shoots down its spacecraft, and he must flee from the Men in Black (not rappers, the government). He will be aided only by a beautiful newscaster with whom he will eventually mate and create a new race of alien hybrids who will naturally want to conquer the world as they don’t enjoy Scrabble and there’s nothing on TV.

The poor alien wouldn’t understand that we have a whole society based on sex. Our books, movies, music, art, our lives revolve around it. You can’t turn on a TV without seeing some ad that says if you use their product, you’ll be surrounded by willing males, females, and tax accountants all wanting to enjoy your hot monkey love.

The Internet is partly to blame. Never in the course of human history have so many pictures of unattractive naked people been available to so many people. Truthfully, clothes are a blessing, and more people should remember that they do not resemble Brad Pitt or Angelina Jolie in any way other than being a member of the same species and that’s not always certain.

Magazines abound and abounce with pictures of barely clad women. Sports Illustrated (un)clothes supermodels in nothing more than drops of water these days, and is making millions selling videos of “The Making of the Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Issue,” The Making of the Making of the Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Issue,” and “Revealed: The Secrets of the Making of the Making of the Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Issue.”

But let’s not forget TV. I mean, it would be nice if we could, but we can’t. In the broadcasters’ rush to give us what we apparently want, they have pushed the envelope so far that they’re climbed right out of it and are stealing the stamp as they go. It’s bad enough to even make the Democrats blush – and they would if they could except their cheeks are simply exhausted (Blush Burnout) after the Clinton years and haven’t recovered.

And there’s no rest for the elderly, either. As soon as Bob Dole appeared in that ad for a “male potency enhancer,” I realized that the Apocalypse was upon us and not a moment too soon. Unfortunately the Four Horsemen are trapped on a tropical island with a bunch of whiny people from a plane wreck.

I’m frankly tired of this over-emphasis on sex. Isn’t it just possible that a person could live a happy, productive life without doing the naughty? Of course not. I’m surprised you’d even think that I’d think that. We have to have it or we will die. Well, not die, but be seriously unhappy and become Republicans.

I see no signs of this frenzy abating any time soon. Our only hope is that the alien-human hybrids will take over the world soon. I’m just afraid that after they do, they’ll give it back.

(Copyright 2010 Stephen B. Bagley. Excerpted from Floozy, forthcoming June 2010.)

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Sometimes

Sometimes for no particular reason you feel happy. Nothing has changed, you're still trapped it the same dead-end job, still fighting the same medical conditions, still trying to work out your relationships, still stressed about your children or the world or life in general. Nothing has changed. There's no reason to suddenly feel happy.

You can search for explanations. Maybe it's a song on the radio. Or the way the sun breaks through the clouds while you're at lunch. Or a thousand smaller things that you haven't really noticed, but suddenly you feel like dancing, you feel like running around the block, you take the stairs two at a time and laugh for no reason. There may be no reasons that you can understand.

Not that you should waste the feeling by analyzing the bodongles out of it. Just go! Be happy. Enjoy the feeling. Have a great day. Talk to you later.

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It may just be me

There's nothing like working on something humorous to put me into a melancholy mood. Working on Floozy makes me sad. Conversely, working on a tragic scene in Dragons Gather makes me zany. Are other people like that? It may just be me.

Is there anyone out there reading this? My hits have faded away, but I like to think there's someone reading these words and agreeing or disagreeing or simply absorbing what I've wrote so that they can reflect on it when they have a quiet moment. Are you there? It could just be me talking to the people in my head, my audience as it were.

I used to get a lot of comments. That's how I knew. A famous writer whose name escaped me said that he would rather people hated his work than ignored it. I think it was Oscar Wilde, although I can't find the quote. Maybe it's not him. It could just be me.

Although I would rather have them ignore my work then hate it. Especially in this day when the wrong vote on a health care bill can get you and your family death threats. I find few things important enough to kill for in the abstract. Like most people I would find nothing wrong in shooting someone who broke into my home and threatened my loved ones, but feel ambivalent about the death penalty. The difference between concrete and abstract is a thin red line. Or is it just me that thinks that?

As for Floozy, I didn't reach 200 pages this weekend. Things turned out to be more difficult that I expected, but I did reach 162 pages. Another 38 or so to go, and then we can look at exactly how long the book should be vs. what it will cost to produce. I should reach 200 by next weekend.

That's all for tonight and for this weekend. I hope you had good days. I hope you continue to have good days. Talk to you later.

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144!

To my delight, I discovered a cache of my humor columns that require almost no updating or rewriting. That's why I've been able to post such increases. In fact, I should top 200 by this weekend. There I will stop and begin the updating, rewriting, and writing process exclusively.

My plan now is to get it to my proofers by May 3. They will return it to me by May 17. While they're proofing, I will be working on the cover. Then from the 17 to 31, I will be entering their corrections and formatting for publication. It will submitted to Lulu June 1. And two weeks after that, we will have a book!

It feels like forever since Murder by the Acre and EndlesS came out. So soon there will be book signings and mailings and phone calls and newspaper articles and lots of exhausting but fun activities. I'm looking forward to it. How are things going for you?

I'm exhausted so I'm going to call it a night. Hope you have a great tomorrow.


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120

Floozy is over 120 pages tonight! Wahoo! If this continues, we should hit our publication goal in June! I'm excited. Hope you had a great day! Talk to you later.

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20 on the 30th ... uh ... on the 3rd

1. I've grown accustomed to plain oatmeal with a dash of cinnamon for breakfast. I call it "my morning gruel." I had a regular packet of oatmeal (flavored and with sugar) the other day when I was out of the plain, and it was almost impossible to eat. Too sweet. Yeah, I couldn't imagine me saying that, either.

2. Mentioned this earlier in the week, but I want to go back to it: I paid off a stinkin' credit card! Wahoo! Leaves me with just one card. That card has a huge balance, but hey, I'm down to one. Very exciting.

3. Frenzied Feline has been beating me or coming close to it on Lexulous (Scrabble clone on Facebook). She IS a Lexshark. Beware! Don't bet on the games with her. She has no mercy.

4. Jean is also a Lexshark. If you play with her, you deserve what happens to you.

5. Other than Chuck and Jay Leno's monologue, I'm not watching much TV. Not much to watch. I wish Stargate Universe wasn't so bad. The writers had the characters make really stupid decisions in the first season. Quite annoying and not much fun to watch. Supposedly the writers and producers have "fixed" many of those problems for the second season. We'll see.

6. I forgot to mention I also watch Bones. Which had a new episode this week. Wahoo! And Sweets asked Daisy to marry him in a very moving moment. I thought the writers did an excellent job.

7. My life is complicated now. I'm tired of it. I want simplicity. Gotta make changes, but figuring out those changes ... there's the problem. How do I get myself out of this financial, spiritual, and mental morass? Don't know, but have to figure it out. And soon.

8. Floozy is over 90 pages now. Another 60 or so, and it will be ready for the proofers. Really just two months away from when I wanted to publish it. Wow. Seems terribly close.

9. Remember in the 60s and 70s when we rebelled against The Man? Well, we have met The Man now, and he is us. My friend Gail has implied we are too young to have rebelled against The Man. Maybe. Although I think any rebellion against an established routine or procedure counts. Except the other day I found myself telling a fellow employee of my company something along the lines us: "We've always done it that way. Why isn't important. Just follow the rules."

10. We reached the 80s this week. Wahoo! I love heat. Love the sun. Maybe finally I will shake off these winter chills. It seems like winter dragged on forever and a day.

11. The healthcare plan passed. Yes, it's a complete disaster. But truthfully, what has our government done in the past 30 years that hasn't been one? We lurch from one mistake to the next, and it doesn't matter which political party is in power. It seems to me that the best thing that can happen is for our President, Senate, and House not do a thing. Ever. There's a reason some people retreat to the hills.

12. We still have the best government on earth. We are fortunate that our Constitution keeps our government in line. I always worry whenever anyone talks about changing it in any way. I think that's dangerous.

13. Frenzied Feline's son is about to leave on his mission for the LDS church. He will be gone two years. There have been a lot of studies on the missionaries and the effects of their trips. Even ones not sponsored by the church -- not that the church would falsify results, but they do have a stake in the outcome -- have found that the mission trips produce a more mature, well-rounded person. Not always, of course, but it most often is the result. I think travel and staying a new place for an extended period of time does that to most folks.

14. Cinnamon is good for controlling your blood sugar as long as you consume it with a meal, Prevention Magazine says. I have a teaspoon every morning on my morning gruel just for that reason.

15. I intended to write this post on Tuesday, March 30th. Didn't happen because of one thing or another. I've been weaning myself off Facebook and trying to post here more, although I couldn't prove it by the postings of this week.

16. My desktop computer is having memory problems. The joys of Windows which always increases its need for memory with every update and upgrade. I have another gig ordered from Amazon.com. Once it's installed, I should see some improvements since I'm doubling my RAM. Yes, it's an old computer, but I'm hoping it will keep going for a couple of more years.

17. My washing machine is having major problems, too. Pouring water out on the floor instead of down the drain. So my roomie and I went out to Sears Saturday afternoon and purchased a new one. They had a sale going on. It should arrive Monday.

18. So I'm very broke. Whee. Well, what is new about that? I seem to go from one state of brokeness to another state of brokeness. I think most of us live our lives that way. Despite Dave Ramsey and Suzie Orman. I think what those two do more than anything else is sell us the dream of doing better. Oh, I know people can make it. And after all, I'm done to one (huge) credit card now. But it's quite hard to live within your means when it feels like the whole world is working against that.

19. I went to the book party for Jen Nipps Friday afternoon. Her book Devoted to Crafting has just been published. I've read it and think she did a wonderful job with it. I recommend you add it to your library soon.

20. Have any plans for Easter? Just church for me. Or maybe I should more rightly say that I have the joy of going to church on Easter! But other than that, I have no plans. Family is too busy and too scattered for any reunions.

And I think that will be all tonight. Have a wondrous, blessed Easter. Talk to you later.

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