What do monkeys sing at Christmas ?
Jungle Bells, Jungle bells...
What do you get if you cross an apple with a Christmas tree ?
A pineapple.
What do reindeer hang on their Christmas trees?
Horn-aments.
What would a reindeer do if it lost its tail?
She'd go to a re-tail shop for a new one.
Why is Prancer always wet?
Because he's a rain-deer.
Which of Santa's reindeer has bad manners?
Rude-olph.
What do reindeer always say before telling you a joke?
This one will sleigh you.
How does Rudolph know when Christmas is coming?
He looks at his calen-deer.
What do you give a reindeer with an upset tummy?
Elk-a-seltzer.
How do you get into Donner's house?
You ring the deer-bell.
What's red and white and gives presents to gazelles?
Santelope.
Did Rudolph go to a regular school?
No, he was elf-taught.
Why did Rudolph the red-nosed reindeer cross the road?
Because he was tied to a chicken.
Why do reindeer wear fur coats?
Because they look silly in snowsuits.
What do elves learn in school?
The Elf-abet.
If athletes get athletes foot, what do astronauts get?
Missletoe.
Why was Santa's little helper depressed?
Because he had low elf esteem.
Why does Santa have 3 gardens?
So he can hoe-hoe-hoe.
Where do polar bears vote?
The North Poll.
What do you call a cat on the beach at Christmas time?
Sandy Claws.
What do you call a bunch of grandmasters of chess bragging about their games in a hotel lobby?
Chess nuts boasting in an open foyer.
Snowballs.
What do snowmen wear on their heads?
Ice caps.
What do you call a reindeer wearing ear muffs?
Anything you want -- he can't hear you.
How do you know Santa is a man?
No woman would wear the same outfit year after year.
Here's another quick and tasty recipe from my older sister. This is perfect for a holiday get-together.
Graham Cracker Cookie Treats
1 box of graham crackers
2 sticks of butter
1 packed cup of brown sugar
1 cup of finely chopped nuts
1 teaspoon of vanilla
Line rimmed cookie sheets with foil. Then lay out rows of graham crackers on the cookie sheets. Mix together butter and brown sugar in pan. Bring to boil over medium heat. Boil for two minutes. Add finely chopped nuts and vanilla. Pour over the graham crackers. Place cookie sheets in a pre-heated 350 degrees oven for ten minutes.
We'll be back next hour!
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