For the 17th day of the Harbor Street Christmas Celebration 2011, I want to talk about December darkness. I struggle with it. I know many people do.
It annoys me that depression doesn't leave us alone at the holidays. One of the reasons I try to celebrate Christmas with such abandon is to hold off the gloom. So I buy presents, put up lights, decorate my tree, display my Christmas village, send Christmas cards, watch Christmas specials, go watch Christmas choirs and plays, and generally make myself too busy to think about failures and losses. Yes, I know, not very Christmasy, but true nonetheless.
I know people who dislike the holidays because it reminds them of what they don't have, be it loving family or someone who passed on or the money to buy their kids the latest gadgets. A friend of mine who lost her mother at Christmas many years ago still holds Christmas responsible. She doesn't celebrate it. In fact, she hates it. I mostly avoid her during this time of year, or if I see her, I make sure we discuss everything except Christmas. And my Christmases are less because both of my parents are gone now. I feel their loss keenly during the holidays.
During the holidays, I try to avoid people who enjoy sharing their misery. I have friends who have made discouragement into their daily diet. They say they don't want to bring anyone else down, but they do. Oh, they're funny and cynical and modern, but I have to stay away from them because my darkness doesn't need feeding. Maybe the difference is -- or the reason why they can be so cynical without it affecting them -- is my darkness has teeth. It's hurt me both physically and mentally in the past. While I'm miles away from that bleak point now, I'm still close enough to see how easy it would be to fall into the abyss.
So I celebrate Christmas. That one light in the darkness, the lowly manger, the Child King. There's a lot of hope in that stable if you can make it past all the things we put in front of it. An abundance of joy. A promise of a better day dawning. And a glorious star to raise our gaze to the heavens above. Bear with me if you think I overdo Christmas and remember why. And if you want to join me, then come on. Together we'll have a great holiday despite ourselves.
Talk to you tomorrow.
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2 comments:
Well put Stephen. I too struggle with the darkness at Christmas and December being the worst month for payroll in terms of stress just intensifies the darkness and frustrations. However, the wonderful light in the darkness that makes the manger shine is reason to celebrate! I love you Stephen.
Thanks, Marjie! Love ya right back. :)
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