Wednesday, December 21, 2005

12 Annoying Things During Christmas

      1. People who talk about the commercialism of Christmas like they're being sophisticated. Look, back in the 1920s, they were bemoaning the commercial aspects of Christmas. It's nothing new. We live in a crass, profit-oriented society. Less than 48 hours after 9/11, companies were selling "commemorative" items. That's just the way some people are. Get over it. Don't give them any airtime. And don't use the commercialism of Christmas as an excuse for your lack of generosity. There are a lot of soup kitchens, homeless shelters and other charities that always need your help. Rather than just talk about how everyone has lost the true meaning of Christmas, why don't you go out there and show it to everyone.
      2. The whole Happy Holidays/Merry Christmas mess that has been reported exhaustedly by TV, newspaper and bloggers. Seriously, do you think saying Happy Holidays makes anyone forget it's Christmas? Do you think calling names and generally behaving like a jerk makes anyone feel like it's Christmas? Do I think it's right for retailers to remove mention of Christmas? No, but I don't expect retailers to spread the Gospel. Guess what? They're trying to make a living. If I don't like their policies, I don't have to shop with them. And I won't.
      3. People who get upset by Nativity scenes on public property. Don't they have any real problems? We've got starving, poor, homeless people who are sick and need help. We have children going to bed hungry in the United States. We have rampant drug use that is decimating our young people and draining society. And you want me to be upset because your poor little eyes were offended by a Nativity scene? What complete, utter nonsense. Our courts should be ashamed to even hear such cases.
      4. Anyone who doesn't give to a charity because they've decided that charities are corrupt. Here's a lesson in the real world, bucko: Charities are ran by people. Some people are corrupt. There will be corruption in any human endeavor. That's the way of the world. But you can do a bit of research and discover what charities give more of their donations to their causes. You can make sensible decisions about your charitable giving. But if you still want to hang onto your money, then once again, haul yourself to your nearest homeless shelter. Make the world a better place that way. Side note: I particularly detest people who decide that the homeless are lazy and deserve to starve. A lot of the homeless, a third at last count, are children below the age of eight. Exactly what did they do to deserve to starve? Another side note: Anyone who justifies not helping the poor because the Bible says the poor will always be with us should be beaten. I don't have words to express my contempt for that lazy, selfish, smug attitude. One last side note: If you're broke, you're broke. Give what you can when you can. We can only do what we can do. But we should do that.
      5. Rock, rap and pop stars who insist on singing carols but have to add their own special touch. While driving to work today, I heard a pop star sing Silent Night on the radio with many moans, ahhh's, soft sighs and general all-around grandstanding. I wasn't sure if she was singing a carol or giving a mating call. Then I heard a hard guitar version of Come All Ye, Faithful. I turned off the radio. I won't turn it back on until it's safe.
      6. People who sing the praises of snow. It's cold, wet, makes roads dangerous, kills animals and people. I rate it up there with the flu.
      7. Speaking of wet, cold and dangerous, why don't people slow down when it's icy? WHY? Four-wheel drive doesn't make you invulnerable, folks. SLOW DOWN.
      8. Any more animated specials about Santa's early life. We now have The Adventures of Santa, Young Santa Claus, The True Story of Santa Claus, Mrs. Claus, Santa and His Reindeer, Santa and the Magic Flute, The Year Without Santa Claus, etc. Next up: Santa VS. Alien and Santa and The Wise Guys. Enough already.
      9. Christmas cards without return addresses. Don't make me look it up. Put the return address on the envelope. That's all I'm asking.
      10. Surly clerks. I know your job isn't fun at the holidays. I'm sorry about that. But don’t take it out on me. It's not my fault. Just let me make my purchases and leave and no one gets hurt.
      11. Anyone who has to share the pagan origins of Christmas like they're imparting some new earthshaking wisdom. That's old news, folks. Not very interesting news at that. Recently a pastor I know spent his Sunday morning giving us the pagan putdown. I debated several times about walking out, but annoying good manners kept me in the pew listen to him babble on about what things meant centuries ago. It doesn't really matter what they thought in the 9th century. It matters what we think now.
      12. Bloggers that produce lists of things that annoy them about Christmas. That's the most annoying thing of all.

21 comments:

Gloria Williams said...

I agree with all of these!

(And I'm first to comment! Let party begin! :) )

Slim said...

Especially number 12! :)

(Dang, Gloria. You barely beat me, but I'm ready to part-tay!)

SBB said...

Thanks, Gloria!

(Party hearty!)

SBB said...

Wait, I've thought of one more, Slim! :)

(Do we get to wear party hats?)

SBB said...

My cold is better, Susan. Not gone, but getting there, I hope.

And Merry Christmas to you and yours, too!

CrystalDiggory said...

I'm glad you got that out of your system. :)

Today is the day my son and I go out and have dinner and then let him pick out his ornament for this year. I look forward to this day more than I do Christmas!

(And I'm ready to party, too, Gloria and Slim! I'll bring the champagne!)

SBB said...

Crystal, that sounds like fun! You have a good time now, ya hear!

(Hey, this party idea is getting better and better!)

Michelle said...

Party? I need a party...really. bad.

I have to agree with all the annoyances. In fact, I think I have a few more.

Unknown said...

Regarding number 12:

I'm going to infect your blog with jock itch ;)

Erudite Redneck said...

Bravo. On all but one. And that one gets an "eh."

Mark said...

Tech. I agree with you 100%! I know I've used the term "the poor will be with us always", but I didn't make it in relation to Christmas.

Jesus wanted us to help the poor with whatever we had to help them with. Voluntarily, of course.

By the way, what annoys me about Christmas is that it takes 2 months to get to it and then it's over in 24 hours. It never amounts to the hype.

SBB said...

Then, Michelle, I think you should party! Just remember, though, it's not a real party unless nudity is involved. Although the folks at the church social seemed to get upset for some reason ...

SBB said...

Joel, while it is the season to give, it's okay if you DON'T give that away. :)

SBB said...

Thank you, ER.

I've since spoken to you and learned that you're not in sync with me on Number 3. Let me re-consider it. No, you're wrong. I'm right. There, that's settled. :)

SBB said...

Mark, thanks for the support. I wasn't referring to you, BTW, in that comment, but rather someone else in particular.

I think the 12 Days of Christmas is an idea that should be encouraged myself. I'd like to make it last.

Erudite Redneck said...

Well, crap. Now y'all think I'm a heathen. If I'da wanted to point out the one that made me go "eh," Ida done it. :-) No big deal.

But one of these days, some county in Michigan is going put a Hmong display up on the courthouse lawn and Christians all over this country are going to freak totally out.

SBB said...

I won't freak out when that happens, ER. It will be interesting to learn about their culture.

And we don't think you're a heathen based on that ... It's all those other reasons!

Trixie said...

I love your list. Yes, yes I do. Although I'll quibble with you about Number 12. (And when I say "quibble," I mean I'm a-goin' to do a naked shimmy tonight before I go to bed. That should keep the boogeyman at bay!)

Michelle said...

*laughing hysterically*

OK...what is with all the nudity? Not that i am opposed mind you, giggle, But...I just keep picturing that Martha Stewart skit on Saturday Night Live. Her nakidy shimmy and all...wearing nothing but a Santa Hat.

Go Trixie GO!

PS. I have had similar results at Church socials. I don't understand what all the hub-bub is about. :P

SBB said...

Woohoo, Trixie! Shimmy, twist and shout! :)

SBB said...

Nudity lifts one spirits. I defy anyone to dance naked around their house and not giggle. Now, don't dance in front of a mirror, mind you, and it's probably better that you don't have your curtains open since neighbors can be so picky, but trust me on this! It will make you laugh just to be alive.