In Over Their Heads

Murder by the Acre
By Stephen B. Bagley

The librarian and the reporter are back! This time Bernard and Lisa stumble on the body of a local jeweler and ladies' man in an underground house. As the couple and Chief Donaldson investigate, they find themselves drawn into a confusing mystery of lies and alibis that involves the upper crust of Ryton, Oklahoma. Questions abound: Who killed him and how? Why doesn't the widow care that her husband is dead? Why doesn't his mistress? What does the mysterious Aventura Corporation have to do with the murder? What is the corporation hiding? Soon events spiral out of control as the killer strikes again and again. As the three dig for the truth, they upset powerful, vengeful people. The chief might lose his job, but Bernard and Lisa could lose their lives in this suspenseful sequel to Murder by Dewey Decimal.

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Letter

Dear Fitness Coach,
You just told me that you enjoy exercise with complete sincerity in your voice. Listen, a man who can lie like that should go into politics. You're a natural for Congress.
Sincerely,
Me 

Letter

Dear Fitness Coach,
You just told me that you enjoy exercise with complete sincerity in your voice. Listen, a man who can lie like that should go into politics. You're a natural for Congress.
Sincerely,
Me 

Mothra?

I wanted to share a conversation I had with a friend a while back and happened to think of today. 

We were discussing monster movies and had wandered onto Godzilla® and the other kaiju. Knowing my love for those movies—and I do love them, but not the modern ones that attempt to make it "realistic," since Godzilla is 40 stories high and has radioactive breath so "realistic" shouldn't enter into the conversation—he talked about how Godzilla could represent the judgment of God on mankind for its selfish, destructive ways.

And then he said, "And Jesus, if He was a kaiju, would be Mothra®."

Note this because it doesn't happen often: I had nothing to say. I was too overwhelmed. Or horrified. I haven't worked it out yet. 

"To a Fault"

Whenever something terrible happens, you should always ask yourself, “Is Stephen okay?” If so, then it’s not that terrible. At least not for me, and I’m sure we all agree that’s what’s really important. Naturally, I’m concerned about you, too, and will do anything to help you—as long as I’m not greatly inconvenienced or busy or my favorite shows aren’t on TV. I have to have priorities, which I know you understand because I’m such a high priority for you.

To a judgmental person, it might possibly sound like I’m self-absorbed, but let’s be honest, if you were as awesome as me—if that were even possible, and frankly, it’s not—you’d be self-absorbed, too. I’m definitely marvelous. People are fascinated by me, particularly doctors who want to study me in a specially controlled environment.

From Floozy Comes Back. Copyright 2018 by Stephen B. Bagley. All rights reserved.

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and other fine retailers 

and a few not-so-fine.

Shopping Channel Therapy

People wonder why I watch shopping channels sometimes. 

Easy answer: They are filled with enthusiastic and upbeat people ALL THE TIME. 

Think about it. Your social media probably has many bad things on it: political fighting, diet suggestions that make a death march look like fun, recipes with enough fat to lubricate a diesel engine, passive-aggressive backstabbing, thoughtless and cruel memes, etc. 

But none of that shows up on a shopping channel. In fact, if those people mention a problem--like not enough storage space or your hair is so unruly that it's actually causing riots in the streets--they only do so to tell you the solution. 

A solution they will offer you. 

With Affordable Payments and Easy Credit Terms. 

Big Table God

 “Blessed is the man who will eat at the feast in the kingdom of God.” ∽ Luke 14:15

My God is a Big Table God. He has an infinitely-sized table at which everyone is welcome, no matter skin color, ethnicity, looks,  gender, denomination, political bend, environmental views, almost-anything-we-think-divides-us. It’s a huge table filled with good eats, and at this table, people are laughing and talking and sharing and they’re waiting for you.

Some people serve a Tiny Table God. You have to be the correct color, hold the correct political views, and be the correct gender to sit at that table. You have to be biased against the other people, all those who are different from the so-called correct. Your sins have to be the acceptable sins, the ones that they themselves might indulge in. All other people—they must stand by and starve as they watch the acceptable ones gorge themselves. The starving people might protest, but fortunately, a good-sized Bible makes a great club if a person wants to use it like that.

That’s not the Big Table God. 

That’s not my God.

It’s the Tiny Table God.

You might be familiar with the Tiny Table God. He’s vengeful, shallow, bigoted, judgmental, self-righteous, quick-to-anger, and terrible in His fury, the heavy-handed father whose children cringe at His approach. Because we’ve created so many gods in the past, we think this God should conform. He should support who we vote for, shower forgiveness only on those we find worthy, and grant prosperity and good health only to the right people. We loudly preach of His miracles, but in the same breath, we deny His endless grace, boundless mercy, and infinite power. He’s beyond our understanding, and we resent it and attempt to force Him into a box that we can control and understand. Except...God won’t be put into any human box. 

No, he’s a Big Table God.

At His Big Table, you will see all sorts of people, many of whom might surprise you, but all of them are His children. Over there gather the Assembly of God and the Baptists, next to the Methodists and Episcopalians, and they’re sharing countless, marvelous casseroles. The Catholics offer fantastic Mexican and Italian dishes with plenty to share. Must not forget to mention the Latter Day Saints who never let an attendee to a church dinner go hungry. The Greek Orthodox are waving us over for dolma and moussaka. The Asian church folk graciously offer nikuman, pad krapow gai, and sinangag. So many nationalities, so different, but all the same at heart. They’re all part of the church of the Big Table. People are everywhere and sharing everything, including warm hugs and lots of true love. There’s singing and talking and endless introductions to people who are delighted to know the real you.

But of course, you know who’s sitting at the head of the table, the Host of All Creation. He’s smiling and laughing, and He’s waiting for you to join Him. 

He’s beckoning you over.

God is waiting for you.

"For God so loved (you) the world that He gave his one and only Son (Jesus Christ), that whoever believes in Him (you) shall not perish but have eternal life.” ∽ John 3:16.

Come sit at His table.

Cryptic

I hate it when people are cryptic on social media. 

I don't know if I should pray; rob a bank and send money; gather together a village mob, arm them with torches, and storm the castle; or get duct tape, a large plastic bag, and a shovel. 

I need more information, folks!

Better World

Uncommon Wisdom: Cynicism is easy. It's lazy. It's understandable. We have so much that bitterly disappoints us in this world. Why not stop believing? It's easier to feast on despair. 

But...no. 

The things I've accomplished in this life came about by prayers, hard work, and pushing forward. I'm powered by belief. By faith. 

I know many cynical people--and I certainly have my share of dark teatimes of the soul--but the ones who are moving forward have chosen to believe that things can get better and work to make that so even if it's only in a small way.

I want to be one of those who choose a better world. 

Sooner than You Think

 

No Such Thing

A friend visited my house to check on me. Looking around, he said, "Stephen, you have too many books." 

When he woke up with a terrible headache, I helped him to his car. He was stumbling and confused, but I'm sure that will pass in time. #nosuchthingastoomanybooks

Letting Go

A friend of mine is suffering because he had to unFriend and block a former friend for being cruel. This only goes to show that he is a better person than me. 

I recognize that sometimes you have to let someone go—preferably over a huge drop where below a raging river filled with alligators waits. A hard location to find in Oklahoma and so you end up taking the dropee out-of-state, basically paying for their vacation, which is silly and only leads to embarrassing car chases and shoot-outs with the FBI even though they had been told you were basically harmless by their lovely profiler, such a sweet, horribly mistaken woman—if, of course, if I did such things and I don't and didn't and there is no proof so I don't know WHY you keep bringing it up. Drop it!

My point is—and give me a moment while I remember it—yes, my point is sometimes people are just mean and stinky and gross and heartless, and you have to let them go and have no regrets.

Step by Step

Not a great day today. Didn't get as much done as I wanted to, felt bad most of the day, and then heard bad news about a person who is dear to me. On days like this, I find myself looking around for good things, anything happy, little meaningful things, victories of any sort to throw against the bleakness.

I found a few: 
- talked to a couple of friends on the phone, 
- read a few chapters in a good book, 
- did a bit of exercise, 
- got some chores completed, 
- ate Mexican food with a friend, and so on.

As always, life isn’t a gangbuster of awesomeness. Life is what it is: sometimes up, sometimes down, a lot of time in the middle. It’s learning to live in the middle that so many of us find hard. We rise to the occasion when confronting a crisis or an emergency. We behave brilliantly, bravely, and benevolently. But it’s the day-to-day life that’s hard and grinds on us. Most people break at the endlessly getting out of bed each morning to confront life’s little annoyances and battles. That’s what we find tough. That’s how we know if we’re a sprinter or a long-distance runner.

I hope you’re the latter, because sprinters may be fast, but this life is long. It's the ones who can keep going, step by step, mile by mile, day by day, year by year... they finish the race. I hope I’m a long-distance runner.

I try to be. I try to stay busy. I try to keep putting one foot in front of another. Keep my eyes on the road. Don’t get distracted. Don’t lose focus. Don’t lose hope. Don’t lose courage. Don’t fail. Believe, believe, believe.

It’s a lot of pressure, and I think that’s why some people falter. They drink or take drugs or have crazy sex. They cheat on their spouses, neglect their children, and waste their lives on cheap pleasures, seeking thrills to fill the holes in their lives. They think happiness is a destination rather than the journey itself.

It’s learning to take joy in the journey. We have to do that if we’re going to survive and flourish. It’s the secret to happiness, to contentment, and to fulfillment. For some–like me–finding that joy is easier with God’s help. Others choose another path, but finding that path is essential.

It's how we become fully human.

And fully alive.

Step by step.

Broken Cup

“He heals the brokenhearted and bandages their wounds.”—Psalm 147:2

THE JAPANESE PRACTICE AN ART called Kintsugi, which means ‘golden joinery’ or ‘golden repair.’ They take broken pottery and repair it by mending the breakage with glue or lacquer mixed with powdered gold, silver, or platinum. 

The philosophy behind this says there is beauty in the history of a broken piece, that the breakage and the repair enhance the uniqueness of each item. Many times, the repair is stronger and more beautiful than the original material.

“We are all broken,” I once heard a speaker say. He said we should all acknowledge our brokenness. That is true, but it’s not enough to simply be broken; being broken is easy and all too common. It is the healing that is hard, that takes work and commitment. If we want a more abundant life, however, we can’t stay broken. We must seek healing.

Of all the miracles recorded in the Bible, some of the most powerful involved healing of the body and the mind. Jesus Christ wants to heal the damage of this life. He wants to soothe all the pain and sorrow that daily living inflicts on us. We are all broken cups, and He wants to heal our hearts and spirits with His precious mercy and love.

My prayer is that each of us will seek this healing of our hearts. We might be broken, but with His miraculous help, we can be strong, beautiful, and triumphant in our broken places.

 

Inattention

Sometimes you're listening to a person and your mind wanders off because they're blah blah blah and your mind has traveled to 23rd century Mars or maybe to an alternative 18th century England where they have armored blimps...AND THEN you realize they're expecting a response from you and you have NO idea what they were saying and maybe they asked you to do something you absolutely DO NOT want to do, but you don't want to reveal you weren't listening so you yell, "Fire! FIRE!" and run away! 

And when  I say "you," I mean "me."

Karmic

I did a good thing. I stepped outside briefly, and three mosquitoes landed on me. I did the noble thing and helped them back into the Karmic circle of life so that they can be reborn as a higher life form on their journey to Nirvana. 

Yeah, I squashed them.

Making Progress

I made it through today without hitting anyone stupid with a chair. Not even one person! I think it's obvious that my people skills are improving. 

My therapist will be so pleased when he gets back from his breakdown.

Signs

There are always ways you can tell a relationship is over: They move, they get a protective order, they spray you with bacon and drop you in a wilderness filled with wolves, etc. 

These are all subtle signs that the ardor has become an odor.

Don't Cloud the Issue with Facts

 A new entry in my People Are Crazy file: 

I'm discussing a societal problem with a friend. He finally says, "You're impossible to talk to. You just keep bringing up facts. No one cares about facts." 

Seriously, what am I supposed to do with statements like that?

Happy Independence Day!

Happy July 4th!

I hope it's your day to be free of fear, loss, sorrow, and intolerance! 

May laughter sparkle! 

May joy and peace rise in your heart and explode in contentment! 

Hm, I may have taken that metaphor too far, but you know what I mean! 

Your Personal Independence

“If the Son therefore shall make you free, ye shall be free indeed.” — John 8:36.

As our nation prepares to commemorate July 4th, the day when we celebrate our independence from Great Britain and honor the sacrifices of those who fought and died and lost everything in the battle for freedom, it’s an excellent time to declare our personal independence.

Personal independence? Yes, personal. God wants us—you and me as we are right now in this moment—to be free. He wants us to be free of sin and sorrow. He wants us to be free of prejudice and hate. He wants us to be free of trauma and guilt. He wants us to be free of greed and envy. He wants us to be free!

It’s hard to be free in this world. The media overwhelmingly portrays values that are destructive to our mental and spiritual health. We imitate what we see even though it erodes our morals and faith. Instead of choosing peace and love, we are choosing strife and drama.

The picture of today’s world seems to be grim, but Jesus Christ shows us a better way, a way to be truly free. It is both simple and hard: “And you shall love the LORD your God with all your heart, with all your soul, with all your mind, and with all your strength.’ This is the first commandment. And the second is like, namely this, Thou shall love thy neighbor as thyself. There is none other commandment greater than these.” – Mark 12:31-32. These are the commandments of true freedom for our lives, our family, our friends, and our nation.

This Independence Day, choose the freedom of God’s mercy and grace and celebrate His love for all His children. Then we will be free indeed.

Dear Lord,
Thank You for the opportunity to be free in love, to receive Your Mercy, and rejoice in Your grace. Amen. 

Where the Rain Falls

Uncommon Wisdom: 

Sometimes no matter how much we hope and pray for something, we don't get it. If we have bought into "magical thinking," then we can't recover because our world is broken. But if we realize the rain falls on both the just and the unjust, then we can survive our defeat and go on.

Move on.

Keep moving on. 

Meaning?

All things are harder than we expect. 

Unless they're easier. 

Or exactly as we expected. 

Don't read this post. It has no real meaning. 

Stop reading, I tell you! 

Stop! 

Why are you still reading this?