Lily

Saw this lily at a local garden center and had to buy it and share it with you. Beautiful.

E is for effort

"You get points for effort." Really? I've heard that phrase a few times in my life. And it leaves me with a few questions.

First, who is rewarding those points and why do they have the authority to give them? Did they go to college for a degree in point rewarding? Or are they just judgmental and think they're allowed to give points because they're more awesome than the rest of us?

Second, points for what? Can we cash in the points for merchandise? Is there a goal where we reach a certain number of points and win a car? Or win a game? Get a trophy? If they're not worth anything, I don't want them. You can keep your points.

Third, who thinks that phrase is a compliment? People pretend that it softens the blow when they add it after they've told you that you've failed. Here, I'll kick you, and then tell you that the kick could have been worse. Whee.

Fourth, why am I ranting about this? Well, I don't know. I haven't heard it in years, but I read a book recently in which it was used, and I think it made me angry.

Fifth, why angry? Because I get tired of people offering their opinions when they are unsolicited. I know people who believe themselves to be authorities on many things, but they are not. And their willful disregard for facts makes me crazy.

Sixth, when am I going to stop ranting about this? Now.

D is for Dance

I always wanted to know how to dance. I was raised in a very religious home, and that was simply something we weren't allowed to do. You could clap to music and maybe raise your hands, but no hip action and DON'T MOVE THOSE FEET!

When I went to college, I took a few girls dancing. Apparently they were torn between horror and hysterical laughter by my dancing. One of them finally told me that she loved me as long as I didn't dance. For many reasons, that relationship didn't last, but now that I think about, maybe that was a reason, too.

These days I dance in the privacy of home, especially when a happy song comes on the radio or plays on the music service. My dancing would still probably horrify any onlookers, but since I'm alone, it's no one's business but my own.

Someday, though, I'm going to meet a girl who dances as badly as I do and enjoys it as much as I do...and we're going to dance the rest of our lives together.

C is for Catamount

"Catamount" is another name for a mountain lion or a cougar. Bet you didn't know that. Catamounts also are an occasional predator of humans. Mind you, this is mostly caused because the catamount population is increasing after years of decline due to conservation. It's not that the big cats seek us out or lure us to their den with offers of Twinkies and beer. No, it's that they're hungry and we're convenient and look tasty--it's the same situation that a cheerleader confronts when she attends a frat party, although not as risky.

Certainly we humans are the only species that considers ourselves a delicacy. Apparently, after one taste of human flesh, the consumer of said flesh desires nothing else, be that consumer an animal or a man. Notice how many books and movies show humans as the equivalent to potato chips. "You can't eat just one." I'm surprised Lays doesn't offer a human flavor; Hannibal Lector would be the spokesperson, of course.

Considering how many chemicals and medicines we consume, we're not health food. Definitely not organic and probably not free range. We should make other species aware of this. When we're walking in the woods and we hear a sound that could be made by a hungry bear or a ravenous sparrow, we should say, "I just had a soft drink that contained large amounts of Red Dye #1 and carcinogenic preservatives. I eat prepackaged foods all the time that are loaded with trans-fats." Naturally, a health-minded animal will turn away, and we will be assured of our continued well being until our arteries explode.

Catamounts are beautiful animals, but we shouldn't make them into our pets. I read a horrible news story the other day where this lady named Constance raised a cougar from birth, and it was as "gentle as an lamb," but then it turned on her savagely, stole her identify, destroyed her credit, and then ran off to Africa with the family dog. The lady was heartbroken, but it's her own fault.

Constance forgot the first rule of pet ownership: Don't let them know your financial information. I'm careful to make sure my fish never get any more information than they need to conduct their business affairs. At the very least, you shouldn't let catamounts drink and drive. Show some responsibility. And don't sprinkle yourself with seasoning before you venture into the forest. That's just asking for trouble.

B is for Bond

"Bond. James Bond." And with that iconic line, the original action hero introduces himself to people that he will be soon either be loving or killing and sometimes both. I grew up on the Bond films and even read the Bond books and short stories. I'm among that small crew that likes Roger Moore's Bond best, mostly because his movies were bigger and funnier.

But I confess here: I often found myself rooting -- well, not rooting -- maybe admiring the villains. After all, they build things: hovercrafts, lasers, solar ray satellites. Amazing things. One of them built an underwater city; one of them built a space station. Admittedly, there's that whole pesky destroy-the-world plan, but otherwise, they're doing great work.

Bond, on the other hand, just blows things up. You always know where he's been by the trail of destruction he leaves. Even Q only makes devices to destroy Bond's enemies. Where is His Majesty's Secret Space Station? Nowhere, that's where.

Bond villains, of course, always lose, mostly because they spend their time bragging about their plans instead of SHOOTING BOND ON SIGHT. If I were a Bond villain, the movie would go like this: "Bond. James--arggggh" And then I would proceed to conquer the earth.

A is for Alpha

Alpha is, of course, the beginning, and this is the beginning of the Blogging from A-Z Challenge.

A is also for April, which is the month of the Blogging from A-Z Challenge.

And A is for Anecdotes, which are little stories. FLOOZY & Other Stories is basically filled with anecdotes of various lengths. I'm not sure when an anecdote becomes a short story--maybe when it's longer than a few paragraphs. I don't think there's governing body that decides the various story length. But maybe so. There are governing bodies for just about anything these days. I want to be on one of those bodies. It must be satisfying to make those decision--as long as you have the ability to enforce them. Otherwise, you're just being annoying.

Anyway, that's my first post for the Challenge.