51313 Harbor Street

Procrastination is making me ............. wait

2012-01-25T16:23:00.007-06:00

By Stephen B. Bagley

I don’t know why I do it. I have a huge list of things to do that need to be done, but I haven't done them. I kept intending to do those things and be horribly horribly horribly productive. However, more important things came up, like searching for a job, getting a haircut, watching TV, cutting my toenails, sending fan mail to Dolly Parton, putting bars on my windows so that the aliens can’t get in again, etc. Actually, those aren't more important things. (Except for that pesky job search; my creditors insist it's important. I think they need to calm down right now.) Those other things just happen to be the things that I did instead. I don’t know why.

Of course, it’s called procrastination. I’m sure we insanely gifted but humble folk all suffer from it. It’s well known that Michelangelo was a genius at procrastination. The Sistine Chapel should have taken him only a weekend, but he was able to spread it out over four years. By the way, he got paid the whole time, which is another indication of his genius.

You might be surprised that I suffer from procrastination. Well, that’s not true. I don’t suffer from it at all; I enjoy every minute of it. I must; otherwise, why would I do it? Of course, I’m not lazy. Unlike Michelangelo who used to hang out at pool halls and on street corners, I stay busy. I just stay busy at other things than what I should be doing. This is one reason that I have at least six or seven projects going at the same time so that I have something to switch to when the deadline for my current project draws near.

Of course, I always eventually get things done. Or have so far. Admittedly, many things get done at the last minute. I’m a firm believer that, if it wasn’t for the last minute, nothing would get done. I would like to pin this on my newspaper experience with deadlines, but I had this problem even when I was in grade school, long before my veins ran with black ink.

I would blame this problem on my older siblings who are responsible for so many of my problems and will someday be rewarded accordingly if I ever get around to it, which is unlikely because frankly they scare me and, if they don't scare you, you're not very bright, but you're cute, and so you'll probably make out okay in this world. But what was I saying? Oh yeah, while I would like to blame this on my siblings who dropped me on my head repeatedly when I was a child in their happy games of basestephen and stephenball, I'm afraid it's an inherent character flaw.

Yes, I know you're shocked to discover I have flaws. Me, too. I was totally surprised to find this out. It seemed so unlikely. Who knew? Don’t raise your hands. It was a rhetorical question.

While the flaw is inherent, it was reinforced in school where I learned mostly useless facts to regurgitate at regular intervals (tests) and then in the newspaper business where I interviewed politicians to learn mostly useless facts to regurgitate at regular intervals (daily newspapers).

I can’t recall all the times a teacher or my editor stood over my desk waiting for me to finish. No, really, I can’t recall. I wasn’t paying attention. I don’t pay attention to authorities. It may be another flaw. Shh. Don’t tell anyone! It will be our little secret.

But I must point out that I did finish the research paper, the feature article, and the various rockets, all by the stated deadline. The secret for productivity for me is to harness the power of deadlines! If I can learn to set myself deadlines, I can do all sorts of things: write more books and articles, learn a foreign language, take a shower, release my neighbors from my cellar, and more.

I’m going to start working on that.

Someday soon.

Copyright 2012. Excerpted from Return of the Floozy. No copying without express prior written permission from the publisher and author. Thank you for reading.

Buy 2012 Oakleaf Harbor Christmas Cards now!
Buy Floozy and Other Stories at Amazon.com
Buy Floozy and Other Stories at Barnes&Noble.com
Buy Floozy and Other Stories in paperback at Lulu.com
Buy Floozy and Other Stories in hardcover at Lulu.com
Buy Murder by Dewey Decimal at Amazon.com
Buy Murder by Dewey Decimal at Barnes&Noble.com
Buy Murder by Dewey Decimal at BooksAMillion.com
Buy Murder by Dewey Decimal at Lulu.com
Buy Murder by the Acre at Amazon.com
Buy Murder by the Acre at Barnes&Noble.com
Buy Murder by the Acre at BooksAMillion.com
Buy Murder by the Acre in soft cover at Lulu.com
Buy Murder by the Acre in hardcover at Lulu.com
Buy Floozy, MBTA & MBDD items and more at Oakleaf Harbor

The problem

2012-01-24T23:11:00.023-06:00

I have finally figured out the problem with Murder by the Mile.

It's not the characters. They're quirky, funny, sad, and brave. And waiting for me to tell their story.

It's not the plot. It has its tricky moments and rough patches, but the core of it is true.

It's not the subplots. They're adding humor and realism as they're supposed to do.

It's not the writing itself. I'm not Shakespeare, but never claimed to be. I craft words. That's enough to tell this story well.

No, the problem is none of these.

The problem is me.

A lack of will.

A lack of faith.

A lack of courage.

Hard to look at me. Hard to realize I have to change again. Hard to become once more what I was and more than I was.

Easy to say. Hard to do.

But I specialize in the hard to do. It's my super power, ya know. Time to get to it.

Once more into the breach, dear friends, once more ...

Buy 2012 Oakleaf Harbor Christmas Cards now!
Buy Floozy and Other Stories at Amazon.com
Buy Floozy and Other Stories at Barnes&Noble.com
Buy Floozy and Other Stories in paperback at Lulu.com
Buy Floozy and Other Stories in hardcover at Lulu.com
Buy Murder by Dewey Decimal at Amazon.com
Buy Murder by Dewey Decimal at Barnes&Noble.com
Buy Murder by Dewey Decimal at BooksAMillion.com
Buy Murder by Dewey Decimal at Lulu.com
Buy Murder by the Acre at Amazon.com
Buy Murder by the Acre at Barnes&Noble.com
Buy Murder by the Acre at BooksAMillion.com
Buy Murder by the Acre in soft cover at Lulu.com
Buy Murder by the Acre in hardcover at Lulu.com
Buy Floozy, MBTA & MBDD items and more at Oakleaf Harbor

Check

2012-01-23T23:34:00.001-06:00

To do list

House is back in order. Check.

Most of the game materials are filed. The rest have to be read through and corrected and filed. Will do over the next couple of weeks. Check.

Guest bedroom in shape again to receive visitors -- well, as good a shape as it was before the weekend. Check.

Laundry done. Check.

Dishes washed. Check.

Nothing to do except to write. Che--

Or maybe play World of Warcraft. No, I should write. Well, it wouldn't hurt to do one quick quest. It's been a while since I've been on. One quick quest, and then I'll write.

Several hours later ...

Writing. Unchecked.

Buy 2012 Oakleaf Harbor Christmas Cards now!
Buy Floozy and Other Stories at Amazon.com
Buy Floozy and Other Stories at Barnes&Noble.com
Buy Floozy and Other Stories in paperback at Lulu.com
Buy Floozy and Other Stories in hardcover at Lulu.com
Buy Murder by Dewey Decimal at Amazon.com
Buy Murder by Dewey Decimal at Barnes&Noble.com
Buy Murder by Dewey Decimal at BooksAMillion.com
Buy Murder by Dewey Decimal at Lulu.com
Buy Murder by the Acre at Amazon.com
Buy Murder by the Acre at Barnes&Noble.com
Buy Murder by the Acre at BooksAMillion.com
Buy Murder by the Acre in soft cover at Lulu.com
Buy Murder by the Acre in hardcover at Lulu.com
Buy Floozy, MBTA & MBDD items and more at Oakleaf Harbor

Whew

2012-01-22T16:36:00.019-06:00

Stayed up until 1:30 this morning. I'm worn out today. Exhausted, but pleased with the game. Although there's always that letdown when it's over. I always hate when a project ends and no longer commands my attention. There's something very satisfying about working in a creative fashion.

Well, time for a new project. It's not like I don't have plenty to do. Murder by the Mile, of course. But first I have to get my house back in order and put away the game materials and catch up on everything I left undone while devoting all my time to The Jerosah Legacy.

It will take a couple of days for me to recharge. Wish I could speed up the process, but that's how it works for me. New tracks have to be laid for that train in my mind before I can steam ahead. And that's just about as far as I'm going to take that metaphor. Although ... I do like trains. The old steam ones were quite grand.

Anyway, I'm going to continue to putter around the house for the rest of the day. File some things, put somethings away, do some laundry. Talk to you tomorrow.

Buy 2012 Oakleaf Harbor Christmas Cards now!
Buy Floozy and Other Stories at Amazon.com
Buy Floozy and Other Stories at Barnes&Noble.com
Buy Floozy and Other Stories in paperback at Lulu.com
Buy Floozy and Other Stories in hardcover at Lulu.com
Buy Murder by Dewey Decimal at Amazon.com
Buy Murder by Dewey Decimal at Barnes&Noble.com
Buy Murder by Dewey Decimal at BooksAMillion.com
Buy Murder by Dewey Decimal at Lulu.com
Buy Murder by the Acre at Amazon.com
Buy Murder by the Acre at Barnes&Noble.com
Buy Murder by the Acre at BooksAMillion.com
Buy Murder by the Acre in soft cover at Lulu.com
Buy Murder by the Acre in hardcover at Lulu.com
Buy Floozy, MBTA & MBDD items and more at Oakleaf Harbor

Quick break

2012-01-21T15:30:00.012-06:00

Just a quick break in the game, so I thought I'd take a moment and post. The Jerosah Legacy is going well. Lots of surprises for the players. We went to lunch at a local Mexican restaurant and then stopped by a local comic/gaming store. Now, a few of the players have gone to the store for a few more munchies.

We'll probably play until midnight or later. Hope I can last. A nap would be nice. Man, am I getting old or what? Still, I do better at night than in the afternoon. I wake up around 5 p.m. and can go easily to one or two in the morning. Don't know how my biorhythms ended up that way. It's annoying, that's for sure. Sometimes I feel like a zombie in the morning. Got to figure out how to get back on a regular sleep schedule.

But not this weekend. This weekend is for giving the imagination a good workout. It's for adventure and thrills and laughs and magick and surprises.

They're back. Onward and upward to glory and beyond!

Buy 2012 Oakleaf Harbor Christmas Card now!
Buy Floozy and Other Stories at Amazon.com
Buy Floozy and Other Stories at Barnes&Noble.com
Buy Floozy and Other Stories in paperback at Lulu.com
Buy Floozy and Other Stories in hardcover at Lulu.com
Buy Murder by Dewey Decimal at Amazon.com
Buy Murder by Dewey Decimal at Barnes&Noble.com
Buy Murder by Dewey Decimal at BooksAMillion.com
Buy Murder by Dewey Decimal at Lulu.com
Buy Murder by the Acre at Amazon.com
Buy Murder by the Acre at Barnes&Noble.com
Buy Murder by the Acre at BooksAMillion.com
Buy Murder by the Acre in soft cover at Lulu.com
Buy Murder by the Acre in hardcover at Lulu.com
Buy Floozy, MBTA & MBDD items and more at Oakleaf Harbor

Clever people

2012-01-20T11:15:00.014-06:00

The players of The Jerosah Legacy arrive this afternoon! As always, I'm racing around frantically attempting to get everything done. My roomie took the day off to help me. (He's one of the players.) I appreciate his help. I wouldn't be able to get everything done. But the game is written, the table is set up in the garage, the food purchased, and the house fairly clean. Right now, I'm printing maps and notes and then going over both so that I'm ready for what they throw at me.

Well, I'm never completely ready. Doesn't matter how much work I put into it, the players always come up with something I didn't expect. They're clever people with a lot of imagination. I wish I could spend more time with them than I do. I think it would be good for me.

Okay, back to work. Don't know if I'll be able to post tomorrow or not, but I'll try. If not, I'll be back Sunday.

Buy 2012 Oakleaf Harbor Christmas Cards!
Buy Floozy and Other Stories at Amazon.com
Buy Floozy and Other Stories at Barnes&Noble.com
Buy Floozy and Other Stories in paperback at Lulu.com
Buy Floozy and Other Stories in hardcover at Lulu.com
Buy Murder by Dewey Decimal at Amazon.com
Buy Murder by Dewey Decimal at Barnes&Noble.com
Buy Murder by Dewey Decimal at BooksAMillion.com
Buy Murder by Dewey Decimal at Lulu.com
Buy Murder by the Acre at Amazon.com
Buy Murder by the Acre at Barnes&Noble.com
Buy Murder by the Acre at BooksAMillion.com
Buy Murder by the Acre in soft cover at Lulu.com
Buy Murder by the Acre in hardcover at Lulu.com
Buy Floozy, MBTA & MBDD items and more at Oakleaf Harbor

Unintentionally

2012-01-19T23:06:00.001-06:00

The other day I made the mistake of asking a friend of mine how he was doing. He said fine, but I had question him further. I should have let well enough alone. At the second question, he unloaded his problem.

It was a big one. He's cheating on his wife. And has fallen in love with the other woman. But he's still in love with his wife, too.

I felt immensely weary as he shared this knowledge that I had unintentionally asked for. I like his wife. I like his mistress. I can see nothing in this except pain for all concerned.

I even caused some, because he wanted my support, my understanding, my concern. And I frankly didn't feel like giving them. I couldn't stop myself from judging him, from pointing out the consequences of this foolishness. I became jury and judge.

Not that I told him anything he didn't already know. But who appointed me to add to the guilt? We didn't fight. In fact, I told him I'd pray for him, and he thanked me. But I felt sick after we hung up. What terrible things we humans do to the people we love and ourselves.

All in all, a depressing day. I'm glad it's over. Tomorrow will be better. But probably not for him.

Buy 2012 Oakleaf Harbor Christmas Cards!
Buy Floozy and Other Stories at Amazon.com
Buy Floozy and Other Stories at Barnes&Noble.com
Buy Floozy and Other Stories in paperback at Lulu.com
Buy Floozy and Other Stories in hardcover at Lulu.com
Buy Murder by Dewey Decimal at Amazon.com
Buy Murder by Dewey Decimal at Barnes&Noble.com
Buy Murder by Dewey Decimal at BooksAMillion.com
Buy Murder by Dewey Decimal at Lulu.com
Buy Murder by the Acre at Amazon.com
Buy Murder by the Acre at Barnes&Noble.com
Buy Murder by the Acre at BooksAMillion.com
Buy Murder by the Acre in soft cover at Lulu.com
Buy Murder by the Acre in hardcover at Lulu.com
Buy Floozy, MBTA & MBDD items and more at Oakleaf Harbor

Darker

2012-01-18T23:45:00.001-06:00

"So I'm not what you expected," Serika said. She tossed back her drink. "Am I darker than you thought?"

"No," Nathaniel said. "Darker than I hoped."

"Naive."

"Yes." He nodded. "It's a failing of mine. Even though we continue to live down to the lowest expectations, I keep hoping for something more."

She laughed, a brittle sound as cold as the ice in her drink. "Oh, this is rich! Who would have thought the Sword and the Arm could be so ... childish?"

He gave a slight shrug. "Everyone has their faults. Even you."

"Not nice of you to notice," Serika said, her fangs extending. "I suppose you'll try to kill me now."

"No," he said.

She widened her eyes. "Surely not mercy for me."

"No, no mercy for one such as you who has mercilessly preyed upon mankind," he said. He turned away.

"I don't ..." She stopped and looked at the drink. "You ..." The glass fell from her hand and shattered on the floor. "Poison ... you ..."

He didn't look back as her skin blackened and burned. She died with a curse on her lips.

Buy Oakleaf Harbor Christmas Cards!
Buy Floozy and Other Stories at Amazon.com
Buy Floozy and Other Stories at Barnes&Noble.com
Buy Floozy and Other Stories in paperback at Lulu.com
Buy Floozy and Other Stories in hardcover at Lulu.com
Buy Murder by Dewey Decimal at Amazon.com
Buy Murder by Dewey Decimal at Barnes&Noble.com
Buy Murder by Dewey Decimal at BooksAMillion.com
Buy Murder by Dewey Decimal at Lulu.com
Buy Murder by the Acre at Amazon.com
Buy Murder by the Acre at Barnes&Noble.com
Buy Murder by the Acre at BooksAMillion.com
Buy Murder by the Acre in soft cover at Lulu.com
Buy Murder by the Acre in hardcover at Lulu.com
Buy Floozy, MBTA & MBDD items and more at Oakleaf Harbor

Crosswise

2012-01-17T23:34:00.019-06:00

Meant to do all sorts of things, but life got crosswise on me. Does that sometimes. You know what I mean? You start out with all sorts of plans and designs, and at the end of the day, you're somewhere else and doing things you didn't plan to do while what you needed to do isn't done. Crosswise.

Cross purposes. People do it all the time. The goal may be the same, but the paths are so widely different that the goal ends up not being as important as the means. Not supposed to be that way, but you only have to look our nation's politics to see this is so. Not that the political parties have clear cut goals. They're too busy attacking each other. For what, no one knows. Not even them.

It's the symptom of a disease that affects our nation now. The desire to win at all costs, the desire to have our way, the core values preached by the the so-called progressives and the so-called liberals and the so-called libertarians and the so-called conservatives ... If it sounds like I'm weary of them, I am. It's no wonder that God sometimes thinks of sweeping the board clear and starting again. We're fortunate that His mercy has forestalled him.

So far.

Buy Oakleaf Harbor Christmas Cards!
Buy Floozy and Other Stories at Amazon.com
Buy Floozy and Other Stories at Barnes&Noble.com
Buy Floozy and Other Stories in paperback at Lulu.com
Buy Floozy and Other Stories in hardcover at Lulu.com
Buy Murder by Dewey Decimal at Amazon.com
Buy Murder by Dewey Decimal at Barnes&Noble.com
Buy Murder by Dewey Decimal at BooksAMillion.com
Buy Murder by Dewey Decimal at Lulu.com
Buy Murder by the Acre at Amazon.com
Buy Murder by the Acre at Barnes&Noble.com
Buy Murder by the Acre at BooksAMillion.com
Buy Murder by the Acre in soft cover at Lulu.com
Buy Murder by the Acre in hardcover at Lulu.com
Buy Floozy, MBTA & MBDD items and more at Oakleaf Harbor

Busy busy day

2012-01-16T23:22:00.018-06:00

Got my Christmas decorations took down and put away. Quite a job. Took all day and left me worn out. So much so that I didn't cook supper tonight. Instead we went out to eat with friends.

Intended to work more on The Jerosah Legacy, but didn't have time to do much. Printed out some maps and floor plans. Worked a bit on the supporting characters. Have to make it a priority tomorrow.

Shaping up to be a very busy week. Need to finish The Jerosah Legacy, clean the house, de-clutter and dust the back bedroom so more, and all the usual chores. Oh, and exercise, too. Got to make time for that as much as I can. Health has to be a priority this year and from now on. Need my energy back, and losing weight will go a long way that direction.

Have to put Murder by the Mile aside this week to work on The Jerosah Legacy. Just as well. It's continuing to give me trouble. But it's not the book. It's me. I'm the problem. Not the book, nor the characters, nor the plot, nor the subplots ... they all require work, but I'm the problem. I'm standing in the way of my success, and I'm going to work this out. I will write this book, and I will publish this book, and I will keep moving forward. You do that, too.

Oakleaf Harbor Christmas Cards still on sale!
Buy Floozy and Other Stories at Amazon.com
Buy Floozy and Other Stories at Barnes&Noble.com
Buy Floozy and Other Stories in paperback at Lulu.com
Buy Floozy and Other Stories in hardcover at Lulu.com
Buy Murder by Dewey Decimal at Amazon.com
Buy Murder by Dewey Decimal at Barnes&Noble.com
Buy Murder by Dewey Decimal at BooksAMillion.com
Buy Murder by Dewey Decimal at Lulu.com
Buy Murder by the Acre at Amazon.com
Buy Murder by the Acre at Barnes&Noble.com
Buy Murder by the Acre at BooksAMillion.com
Buy Murder by the Acre in soft cover at Lulu.com
Buy Murder by the Acre in hardcover at Lulu.com
Buy Floozy, MBTA & MBDD items and more at Oakleaf Harbor

The Jerosah Legacy

2012-01-15T14:21:00.000-06:00

The Jerosah Legacy is the next role-playing scenario that I have to finish. And fast as the players arrive this weekend. I always enjoy these gaming weekends, but they leave me exhausted. Not as young as I used to be. No, really, it's that I'm not as healthy as I used to be. But I'm working on that.

The Jerosah Legacy is about a man and his twisted desire to live forever, no matter what the cost is to other people. That's an important plot point: the fact the other people have had to pay the cost for his quest. It's one thing if you have to pay for your dream, but it's entirely different if other people are forced to.

I certainly don't want to die, but I'm not willing to kill other people to extend my life. That's the whole vampire/lich thing. Of course, that's not a possibility, anyway. We have no way to magically extend our lives by taking it from others. If we did, though, you know there would be plenty of people in Hollywood and Washington D.C. that would leap on it with a ferocity not seen even in starving sharks.

Horrible in reality, but lots of thrills in fantasy. Books and role-playing allow us to contemplate such horrors from the safety of our reading chairs, but we'd never want them in real life.

Oakleaf Harbor Christmas Cards still on sale!
Buy Floozy and Other Stories at Amazon.com
Buy Floozy and Other Stories at Barnes&Noble.com
Buy Floozy and Other Stories in paperback at Lulu.com
Buy Floozy and Other Stories in hardcover at Lulu.com
Buy Murder by Dewey Decimal at Amazon.com
Buy Murder by Dewey Decimal at Barnes&Noble.com
Buy Murder by Dewey Decimal at BooksAMillion.com
Buy Murder by Dewey Decimal at Lulu.com
Buy Murder by the Acre at Amazon.com
Buy Murder by the Acre at Barnes&Noble.com
Buy Murder by the Acre at BooksAMillion.com
Buy Murder by the Acre in soft cover at Lulu.com
Buy Murder by the Acre in hardcover at Lulu.com
Buy Floozy, MBTA & MBDD items and more at Oakleaf Harbor

Great day

2012-01-14T23:27:00.001-06:00

Had a great day with my roomie's daughter and her family, including the marvelous Mikey and his wonderful brothers. Although I should call him Mike now, because, at ten going on 18, he's quite a little man with opinions and arguments and generally just growing up faster than I'd like. He talks about getting a car and already has a little girlfriend. Slow down, little boy! I'm not ready for you to grow up yet.

Oh well. Dang time waits for nothing.

And now I have to take all my Christmas decorations down. I had left up the tree and the other decorations inside until this gathering was over. I probably will leave them up tomorrow, too. But Monday, they all come down. Sigh. I hate when Christmas is over. Things are much bleaker. Wonder if I could leave my tree up all year. Well, of course, I could, but I think after several months, even I would get tired of it.

So Monday, back in the boxes everything must go. Until next year.

Oakleaf Harbor Christmas Cards still on sale
Buy Floozy and Other Stories at Amazon.com
Buy Floozy and Other Stories at Barnes&Noble.com
Buy Floozy and Other Stories in paperback at Lulu.com
Buy Floozy and Other Stories in hardcover at Lulu.com
Buy Murder by Dewey Decimal at Amazon.com
Buy Murder by Dewey Decimal at Barnes&Noble.com
Buy Murder by Dewey Decimal at BooksAMillion.com
Buy Murder by Dewey Decimal at Lulu.com
Buy Murder by the Acre at Amazon.com
Buy Murder by the Acre at Barnes&Noble.com
Buy Murder by the Acre at BooksAMillion.com
Buy Murder by the Acre in soft cover at Lulu.com
Buy Murder by the Acre in hardcover at Lulu.com
Buy Floozy, MBTA & MBDD items and more at Oakleaf Harbor

Friday the 13th

2012-01-13T23:57:00.000-06:00

Spent most of the day cleaning house and getting it ready for visitors. My roomie's daughter and her family -- including the marvelous Mikey and his wonderful brothers -- will be coming up tomorrow for our Christmas with the kids. They were supposed to come last weekend, but couldn't and rescheduled for this one. Looking forward to their visit.

I also have my local writing group tomorrow. We're supposed to have a program and discuss the club anthology. Hope more people show up. Our numbers have been low during the holidays. Maybe the new year will bring people out.

Otherwise, not much else to tell you. So I'll just mosey on out of here. Hey, did you have a good Friday the 13th? Anything interesting happen? And yes, I'm talking to you. Share!

Oakleaf Harbor Christmas Cards now on sale!
Buy Floozy and Other Stories at Amazon.com
Buy Floozy and Other Stories at Barnes&Noble.com
Buy Floozy and Other Stories in paperback at Lulu.com
Buy Floozy and Other Stories in hardcover at Lulu.com
Buy Murder by Dewey Decimal at Amazon.com
Buy Murder by Dewey Decimal at Barnes&Noble.com
Buy Murder by Dewey Decimal at BooksAMillion.com
Buy Murder by Dewey Decimal at Lulu.com
Buy Murder by the Acre at Amazon.com
Buy Murder by the Acre at Barnes&Noble.com
Buy Murder by the Acre at BooksAMillion.com
Buy Murder by the Acre in soft cover at Lulu.com
Buy Murder by the Acre in hardcover at Lulu.com
Buy Floozy, MBTA & MBDD items and more at Oakleaf Harbor

Another excerpt from MBTM

2012-01-12T11:30:00.002-06:00

Thought I'd share another excerpt from Murder by the Mile. In this one, our stumbling hero Bernard makes a dangerous mistake and pays for it.

From Murder by the Mile

When Bernard ran after the fleeing figure, he had no thought for his safety or what he would do if he caught whoever it was. It was instinct. What could someone be doing there? Didn’t criminals often return to the scene of the crime?

He rounded the corner and saw the person – a man – plunge into the shadowed woods up ahead. Bernard crashed after him, running at an angle to intercept his quarry. Briars and branches lashed at his face and tore at his clothes.

He was certain now that he followed the murderer. Bernard found his stride as he ran. His body finally remembered the rhythm he had in high school when he ran cross country for the track team. He felt like he could run forever. His heart pounded as he raced across a small clearing. He nearly tripped, caught a tree to right his balance, and realized he couldn’t hear any sounds from the other man. He had lost the trail. Or ... the murderer had stopped.

He tried to catch his breath, listening intently for any noise that would betray the other’s presence. In the long shadows, he realized he had made himself a target. He eased around the tree, trying to move as quietly as he could. Fortunately the ground was free of leaf litter, but every step he took seemed to thunder. He stopped moving. Tried to hold his breath. He listened. His eyes strained, but he realized that the woods were darker than he had thought they would be. The trees blocked out what little light the setting sun still gave out.

The sounds of the woods reasserted themselves. Crickets, a few birds, tree frogs. The whining of mosquitoes. He slowly let his breath out. Had the other man slipped away? Maybe, but Bernard could almost feel someone near.

He slowly walked forward. A small stream meandered through the woods. Bernard slipped on a slick stone. His foot hit the water. The splash echoed through the woods.

A loud crash to the left!

Bernard raced toward it.

It was the murderer!

The chase was on again, but this time Bernard began to close the distance. He had caught his second wind, and even though the darkness was falling across the woods, he could see the red flannel shirt of the man.

He tried to force more speed out of his legs, but the uneven ground and grabbing briars and branches hampered his efforts. He was close, but he couldn’t close the gap. He hoped the other man gave out before him.

They ran deeper into the woods. Bernard’s world narrowed to the flashes of the red shirt in front of him. It was so dark now he couldn’t make any other details.

Slowly he gained.

The other man stopped, turned, and barreled toward Bernard!

Bernard tried to dodge, but his momentum carried him forward.

They hit.

They fell, rolling on the ground, Bernard’s speed carrying him over the man.

Bernard scrambled to his feet.

The man came up swinging a piece of wood.

Bernard ducked.

The man jabbed the wood into Bernard’s stomach.

Bernard couldn’t catch his breath, but as the man swung again, he caught the branch and held on.

The man pushed it and Bernard back.

Suddenly, there was no ground beneath Bernard.

He was falling backwards down a slope.

Then he was free falling.

He hit the ground hard.

Darkness closed around him.

Order Oakleaf Harbor Christmas Cards
Buy Floozy and Other Stories at Amazon.com
Buy Floozy and Other Stories at Barnes&Noble.com
Buy Floozy and Other Stories in paperback at Lulu.com
Buy Floozy and Other Stories in hardcover at Lulu.com
Buy Murder by Dewey Decimal at Amazon.com
Buy Murder by Dewey Decimal at Barnes&Noble.com
Buy Murder by Dewey Decimal at BooksAMillion.com
Buy Murder by Dewey Decimal at Lulu.com
Buy Murder by the Acre at Amazon.com
Buy Murder by the Acre at Barnes&Noble.com
Buy Murder by the Acre at BooksAMillion.com
Buy Murder by the Acre in soft cover at Lulu.com
Buy Murder by the Acre in hardcover at Lulu.com
Buy Floozy, MBTA & MBDD items and more at Oakleaf Harbor

Making the bed

2012-01-11T23:57:00.014-06:00

I've been asked before how I get so much done in a day. Well, on those days when I'm productive and not huddled in front of the TV watching reruns of NCIS and Fraiser while gulping tea and munching on pretzels -- which happens rather more than I'm proud of, I'm sorry to say.

Mostly I use my D20 list, which I've covered in a previous post here. And I don't turn the TV. And I play lively music that keeps me moving.

But the most important thing I do is to make up my bed. Yes, that's my secret of productive days. I make my bed. It gives an orderly start to my day, and it gives me a quick item to mark off my D20 list.

But the most important thing making my bed does is keeps me from getting back in it!

Order Oakleaf Harbor Christmas Cards here
Buy Floozy and Other Stories at Amazon.com
Buy Floozy and Other Stories at Barnes&Noble.com
Buy Floozy and Other Stories in paperback at Lulu.com
Buy Floozy and Other Stories in hardcover at Lulu.com
Buy Murder by Dewey Decimal at Amazon.com
Buy Murder by Dewey Decimal at Barnes&Noble.com
Buy Murder by Dewey Decimal at BooksAMillion.com
Buy Murder by Dewey Decimal at Lulu.com
Buy Murder by the Acre at Amazon.com
Buy Murder by the Acre at Barnes&Noble.com
Buy Murder by the Acre at BooksAMillion.com
Buy Murder by the Acre in soft cover at Lulu.com
Buy Murder by the Acre in hardcover at Lulu.com
Buy Floozy, MBTA & MBDD items and more at Oakleaf Harbor

Apple cider vinegar

2012-01-11T23:33:00.060-06:00

Read an article in Reader's Digest about the health benefits of apple cider vinegar. ACV has been a folk remedy for centuries. Maybe there's some truth in it. I don't know. Here's what the article said that ACV might be good for.

1. Sore throat. The article said you should mix ¼ cup apple cider vinegar with ¼ cup warm water and gargle every hour or so. You should do that as soon as you feel a sore throat coming on. I wonder if the vinegar burns, particularly if your throat is already raw.

2. Stuffy nose. Mix a teaspoon of apple cider vinegar in a glass of water and sip. Supposedly this helps sinus drainage. I'll have to try it.

3. Nighttime leg cramps. I'm definitely going to try this, because I do suffer them, particularly on days that I've walked. What you're supposed to do is to mix 2 tablespoons apple cider vinegar and a little honey into a glass of water and drink. I'm going to have to buy some honey, though. I don't think I have any in the house.

4. Indigestion prevention. Mix 1 teaspoon of honey and one of ACV in a glass of warm water and drink a half hour before you eat. I've tried this, and it didn't work, but I'm thinking the warm water is what make it hard for me to swallow and keep down. Next time, I'm going to try cool water.

5. Hiccups. The remedy is to swallow a teaspoonful of vinegar. Haven't tried this yet, but I would think any sour liquid would do.

6. Stomach ache. 1 teaspoon in a glass of cool water. I have tried this, and sometimes it works. Depends on the problem. Supposedly it works when you're fighting a bacterial infection, because ACV has antibiotic properties. I don't know. Try it, but don't overdo the ACV. It can sour your stomach by itself, I've found.

7. Whiten your teeth. You should gargle with apple cider vinegar in the morning. ACV supposedly helps remove stains, whiten teeth, and kill bacteria. Brush afterwards. I do this sometimes, so I can tell you that your toothpaste will taste really weird afterwards!

8. Help with workout exhaustion. The amino acids in ACV help combat lactic acid, which can cause fatigue when it builds up after a workout. Also, ACV contains potassium, which can be depleted by exercise and stress. You supposed to mix a tablespoon of ACV in a glass or water or any other drink. I haven't tried this, but will.

If you Google "apple cider health benefits," you can find all sorts of claims made for ACV, up to and including that it can fight cancer. I doubt that, but who knows? At the very least, it shouldn't harm you, and you can't say that about many of the drugs doctors prescribe.

Talk to you tomorrow.

Oakleaf Harbor Christmas Cards now on sale!
Buy Floozy and Other Stories at Amazon.com
Buy Floozy and Other Stories at Barnes&Noble.com
Buy Floozy and Other Stories in paperback at Lulu.com
Buy Floozy and Other Stories in hardcover at Lulu.com
Buy Murder by Dewey Decimal at Amazon.com
Buy Murder by Dewey Decimal at Barnes&Noble.com
Buy Murder by Dewey Decimal at BooksAMillion.com
Buy Murder by Dewey Decimal at Lulu.com
Buy Murder by the Acre at Amazon.com
Buy Murder by the Acre at Barnes&Noble.com
Buy Murder by the Acre at BooksAMillion.com
Buy Murder by the Acre in soft cover at Lulu.com
Buy Murder by the Acre in hardcover at Lulu.com
Buy Floozy, MBTA & MBDD items and more at Oakleaf Harbor

This and that and that, too

2012-01-10T22:27:00.002-06:00

Didn't walk today at the gym. Had to meet a few friends at Rib Crib to celebrate a friend's long-awaited divorce. Nice meal, but I was stuffed afterwards. I think my stomach is shrinking because I used to be able to put away a meal there and then some and still be able to shove more food down my throat. Oh well, those days are gone, and it's good that they are.

Worked on my D20 list all day and got 16 items checked off. I didn't make a D20 yesterday, and my productivity suffered. For better or worse, I'm a list man. That works for me. Have you tried it? I think most busy people use some way of keeping their priorities straight, and I think lists are the way that most use, whether it be on paper or on their computer screen or phone. I like the simplicity of paper, although I have used my computer before. But a computer is hard to carry. I know people who use their phone, but mine doesn't have that capacity as far as I know. Besides, the screen is too small.

Drank a Dr Pepper today. Don't usually do that, anymore, but needed the caffeine boost. And it does help, although I have to watch how much I drink and how late I drink it. Caffeine keeps me awake when I should be sleeping. Since I've mostly cut soft drinks out of my life, I've lost most of my resistance to caffeine. Too much, and I began to buzz around the room unable to concentrate on anything in particular for very long. I also don't need the sugar.

Sugar is my big addiction, and if I have a little of it, I want more of it. Lots more of it. One doughnut will lead to four or more, so best to not have that one. But resisting that one -- whoa baby, that's hard.

Well, that's enough for today. Going to watch the Leno monologue and his Headlines (if he has them) now. Hope you're having a great week.

Order Oakleaf Harbor Christmas Cards
Buy Floozy and Other Stories at Amazon.com
Buy Floozy and Other Stories at Barnes&Noble.com
Buy Floozy and Other Stories in paperback at Lulu.com
Buy Floozy and Other Stories in hardcover at Lulu.com
Buy Murder by Dewey Decimal at Amazon.com
Buy Murder by Dewey Decimal at Barnes&Noble.com
Buy Murder by Dewey Decimal at BooksAMillion.com
Buy Murder by Dewey Decimal at Lulu.com
Buy Murder by the Acre at Amazon.com
Buy Murder by the Acre at Barnes&Noble.com
Buy Murder by the Acre at BooksAMillion.com
Buy Murder by the Acre in soft cover at Lulu.com
Buy Murder by the Acre in hardcover at Lulu.com
Buy Floozy, MBTA & MBDD items and more at Oakleaf Harbor

Back to the gym

2012-01-09T21:40:00.001-06:00

Went back to the gym today for a truly good and painful walk. My legs weren't happy. They've got lazy during the holidays. Well, they're sorry now, I tell you. In fact, they're complaining bitterly. Not that they can be heard over my stomach. It's angry because I've also started a low carb diet. Apparently no one is happy in the House of Stephen.

What can I say? Those things happen. I've explained to my legs and knees that I'm attempting to reduce the load they're carrying so life will be easier on them. They are very short-sighted, however, and keep pointing out that they were perfectly happy in the recliner. You just can't reason with them.

I'm being firm, though. Well, I'm not firm again, but I want to be firm. At least not jiggle so much. If you follow me. And if you do, why are following me?

Come on up and walk beside me. It's more fun that way.

Oakleaf Harbor Christmas Cards now on sale!
Buy Floozy and Other Stories at Amazon.com
Buy Floozy and Other Stories at Barnes&Noble.com
Buy Floozy and Other Stories in paperback at Lulu.com
Buy Floozy and Other Stories in hardcover at Lulu.com
Buy Murder by Dewey Decimal at Amazon.com
Buy Murder by Dewey Decimal at Barnes&Noble.com
Buy Murder by Dewey Decimal at BooksAMillion.com
Buy Murder by Dewey Decimal at Lulu.com
Buy Murder by the Acre at Amazon.com
Buy Murder by the Acre at Barnes&Noble.com
Buy Murder by the Acre at BooksAMillion.com
Buy Murder by the Acre in soft cover at Lulu.com
Buy Murder by the Acre in hardcover at Lulu.com
Buy Floozy, MBTA & MBDD items and more at Oakleaf Harbor

MBTM possible cover

2012-01-08T14:29:00.010-06:00

This is a possible cover for Murder by the Mile. I really like the tree, but I might take the tree completely across the cover. We'll see. And the write-up on the back is mostly wrong. The story has changed since I created this cover nearly a year ago.

Oakleaf Harbor Christmas Cards now on sale!
Buy Floozy and Other Stories at Amazon.com
Buy Floozy and Other Stories at Barnes&Noble.com
Buy Floozy and Other Stories in paperback at Lulu.com
Buy Floozy and Other Stories in hardcover at Lulu.com
Buy Murder by Dewey Decimal at Amazon.com
Buy Murder by Dewey Decimal at Barnes&Noble.com
Buy Murder by Dewey Decimal at BooksAMillion.com
Buy Murder by Dewey Decimal at Lulu.com
Buy Murder by the Acre at Amazon.com
Buy Murder by the Acre at Barnes&Noble.com
Buy Murder by the Acre at BooksAMillion.com
Buy Murder by the Acre in soft cover at Lulu.com
Buy Murder by the Acre in hardcover at Lulu.com
Buy Floozy, MBTA & MBDD items and more at Oakleaf Harbor

Black dog hunting

2012-01-07T11:43:00.036-06:00

Been having a real problem with depression the last couple of days. Time of the year, I guess. Money problems, health concerns, etc. The usual worries. The boring usual worries. The black dog isn't particularly inventive. No, it just hammers at me with all the old failures, all the old invectives, nothing new. No use talking about it; it's all been said before in a hundred ways. No use crying about it; too many tears over the years, and they don't do much.

No, I endure. Take my vitamins, get some sunshine if possible, write, talk to friends, exercise, play computer games, listen to uplifting music, do small chores, get lost in a book or three. Been here before. Will probably be here again. Just have to endure until the black dog goes wandering. Yes, there are meds, but I've never found them much help.

See, the black dog doesn't expect to overwhelm me with a sudden savage attack, although it has tried that before. No, it hopes to wear me down. To grind my hopes and dreams into nothingness. To end me and all I believe and strive to attain.

That's what it does. That's what it does to me. That's what it does to you.

But what the bastard doesn't understand is that I've fought this battle many, many times before. And I'm more than its equal. I'm its better.

You are, too.

Oakleaf Harbor Christmas Cards now on sale!
Buy Floozy and Other Stories at Amazon.com
Buy Floozy and Other Stories at Barnes&Noble.com
Buy Floozy and Other Stories in paperback at Lulu.com
Buy Floozy and Other Stories in hardcover at Lulu.com
Buy Murder by Dewey Decimal at Amazon.com
Buy Murder by Dewey Decimal at Barnes&Noble.com
Buy Murder by Dewey Decimal at BooksAMillion.com
Buy Murder by Dewey Decimal at Lulu.com
Buy Murder by the Acre at Amazon.com
Buy Murder by the Acre at Barnes&Noble.com
Buy Murder by the Acre at BooksAMillion.com
Buy Murder by the Acre in soft cover at Lulu.com
Buy Murder by the Acre in hardcover at Lulu.com
Buy Floozy, MBTA & MBDD items and more at Oakleaf Harbor

More on MBTM

2012-01-06T11:41:00.018-06:00

Thought I'd share an excerpt from Murder by the Mile. I think the first paragraph is among the best of my writing.

Chapter One

Running with murder

In his dreams, Bernard would look up and see the hanged man open his eyes and stare at him. In those dead eyes, Bernard would see an accusation that he could have saved him if he had only thought. In his dreams, Bernard would try and try to hold up the man to give him slack so that he could remove the rope from his neck. All the while Bernard would be screaming at his dream self what he should do. The man would thrash and moan until Bernard woke up. In reality, the hanged man never opened his eyes, barely moved at all, and never made any sounds as he died, but Bernard would dream it differently for years.

On this beautiful day in early November – chilly in the shade, but pleasant in the sun – Bernard M. Worthington limped along Watts Ridge Road as part of the two hundred or so people participating in the Ryton Many Mile Marathon. Occasionally other runners passed him. Most of whom he knew and asked if he was okay.

“Just got a cramp in my hamstring,” he told Merriman Smith who stopped for a few moments when he saw the limping librarian.

“Done that before,” Merriman said. “Unpleasant. Did you warm up first? I’ve been more flexible that I ever thought possible since I started yoga at the community center.”

Startled, Bernard glanced at Merriman. Merriman smiled at him.

“You’d be surprised what this old body is capable of,” Merriman said. “Lots of miles left in me.” He patted his stomach.

Bernard nodded doubtfully. He had never thought of the City Treasurer as being in good shape. Merriman had a sharp mind ideally suited for numbers and budgets, but he had to be at least seventy-five.

“Bimmer, slothing off?” Ron Sims greeted him as the police lieutenant ran up and jogged in place.

“He didn’t warm up,” Merriman said. “He’s got a cramp in his leg. Always warm up, I say.”

“Where’s Lisa?” Sims asked.

“She had things to do with Lorena Jo about the wedding,” Bernard said, not liking the question. Bernard had often thought Sims was romantically interested in Lisa even though Lisa disagreed. But she’s mine, bucko, he thought.

“What’s going on, Bernard?” Jerry Ruebuck asked as he joined them.

Bernard groaned silently. One thing he didn’t need or want was the help of the overly cheerful and seemingly perfect husband of his former girlfriend. When Sherry Hyatt married Jerry, she apparently ordered him custom-made to her specifications.

“Cramp,” Merriman said. “He didn’t warm up.”

“Probably doesn’t get much exercise at the library,” Sims said.

“Do you need help?” Jerry asked. “I can run back and get my car. Would only take five minutes. I can run this much faster than I can jog. Been saving my strength for the long haul.”

“I brought my cell phone,” Merriman said. “I could call someone.”

“Sherry’s at the aid station up ahead,” Jerry said. “She could drive her car down here.”

At the mention of Sherry, Bernard straightened up. “It’s better. I’ll walk it out.” He didn’t know if Jerry knew about Sherry and him, but he liked to avoid situations where they were all together. Particularly since Sherry seemed to take an unholy pleasure in needling Lisa. One day Sherry was going to go too far, and Lisa was going to deck her. Bernard didn’t want that to happen. Or do I?

“Are you sure?” Jerry asked. “I don’t mind at all.”

“You can’t be too careful,” Merriman said.

“Not at your age,” Sims said.

All three men laughed. Bernard forced a grin on his face.

“I’ll be fine,” Bernard said. He took a few steps and found he could actually move easier. “I may finish walking, but I’ll finish. You can go. Go on. Don’t mess up your race times for me.”

Sims nodded and jogged on.

“You’re sure?” Jerry asked. “I wouldn’t mind a reason to quit. Sherry made me do this. Oh, not that it isn’t for a good cause, but I’d rather sponsor someone else and go and play golf. Besides, this race isn’t a real marathon.”

“It’s enough for us around here,” Merriman said loyally. “It’s been going on for over forty years now just fine.”

The Ryton Many Mile Marathon had been started in the late sixties during the first running craze. It would have petered out, as a lot of local races did over the years, but it became a charity event. Residents sponsored a runner, and the money went to whatever good causes had been selected by the organizers. This year, the money raised would go to the Ryton Humane Society, the Shelter for Women and Children, and the local Call-A-Ride.

“Oh, it’s a good little race,” Jerry said. “I just like something that stretches me. And it’s not even certified.”

The organizers of the marathon had looked at getting the race certified by several racing organizations, but decided they didn’t like the restrictions. That meant the race didn’t attract serious runners, but because it gave away t-shirts, ribbons, and at least twenty trophies, many amateurs ran each year and raised a surprising amount of money.

Merriman frowned at Jerry. It was one thing for a Ryton resident to criticize anything about the town, but it was quite another for a newcomer to do so. Bernard had lived in Ryton only two years himself and hard learned to never say anything disparaging about the town in Merriman’s hearing.

“If it’s stretching you want –” Merriman started.

Jerry’s cell phone went off. The ringtone was a cut from the 70s song Brick House. “That’s Sherry’s ring,” Jerry said. “Probably wants to know where her man is at.”

Merriman’s face twisted.

Jerry answered his cell and jogged on down the road.

“Humph,” Merriman said. “That wouldn’t be a ringtone I’d use for my wife. If I had one. And not that Hyatt girl. She’s no brick house. She’s skinny as a rail and got a tongue like a rusty nail.”

Bernard thought it best to say nothing. Merriman had probably forgotten Bernard’s history with Sherry and the Hyatt family.

“Well, I’d better get on,” Merriman said. “I’ll tell the aid station you’re coming so they can watch for you.”

“That’s not necessary,” Bernard said, but Merriman had already jogged on.

“Great,” Bernard said to the nearest tree. “Just great. It will be all over town that I couldn’t keep up with him.” He sighed. In high school, Bernard had been a long distance runner. He had expected he would do better in this marathon than he apparently was going to, but too many tacos and not enough exercise had slowed him down. He vowed to start an exercise routine tomorrow. If I live through this race, that is.

He started off again. He found he could walk briskly. His leg seemed to be loosening up. He might even be able to jog in a few minutes if he was careful. He certainly didn’t want to end at the end of the group. That really would give the town wags something to talk about as if he and Lisa hadn’t already given them enough when they helped Chief Donaldson solve two different sets of murders.

At the moment, he had the road to himself. He could see a few people in front of him, but everyone behind him had yet to make the turn off from Oak onto Watts. He slowed. He wasn’t trying to win anyway, just finish so that his sponsors would give their pledged money to the Friends of the Ryton Library. The FRL was only a few months old and needed all the support it could get. While the library had a comfortable budget due to the fortune Agatha Ryton-Storer had left the library, Bernard was conscious the library lacked grassroots support among the Ryton residents.

In many communities, libraries operated as a social and cultural hub for the surrounding areas. During the many years when Agatha Ryton-Storer had been the Ryton librarian, she had fiercely protected “her” library from any outside activities. For years, the Ryton residents had been able to use the library within her restricted rules. It was no wonder they didn’t see the potential it offered to enrich their lives. Bernard was determined to change that. He had many plans for the library. He hoped he would be able to implement all of them, but he would be satisfied this year if he could get the FRL up and off the ground.

He followed the curve of the road, not paying attention to his surroundings, although he noticed the tree tops were growing across the road. Few people used Watts Road now that the new highway had been completed, but it was a scenic run and had hardly any traffic, which made it well suited for the marathon.

Noticing his left shoe had come untied, he stopped to tie it. He heard a movement in the brush at the side of the road, but he couldn’t see anything. Probably a raccoon or more likely a dog.

He stood and took a step.

His face ran into something.

A shoe.

His gaze traveled up.

A hanged man dangled in front of him.

Bernard stumbled back in horror.

He rushed forward to try to hold the man up.

“Help!” he yelled. “Help me!”

But it was a good five minutes before anyone else ran up to help. By that time, Bernard knew the man was dead, but he kept holding the man’s legs, trying to lift the man up to ease the rope around the man’s neck even though it was too late.

Oakleaf Harbor Christmas Cards now on sale!
Buy Floozy and Other Stories at Amazon.com
Buy Floozy and Other Stories at Barnes&Noble.com
Buy Floozy and Other Stories in paperback at Lulu.com
Buy Floozy and Other Stories in hardcover at Lulu.com
Buy Murder by Dewey Decimal at Amazon.com
Buy Murder by Dewey Decimal at Barnes&Noble.com
Buy Murder by Dewey Decimal at BooksAMillion.com
Buy Murder by Dewey Decimal at Lulu.com
Buy Murder by the Acre at Amazon.com
Buy Murder by the Acre at Barnes&Noble.com
Buy Murder by the Acre at BooksAMillion.com
Buy Murder by the Acre in soft cover at Lulu.com
Buy Murder by the Acre in hardcover at Lulu.com
Buy Floozy, MBTA & MBDD items and more at Oakleaf Harbor

A start

2012-01-05T10:13:00.039-06:00

Happened to catch an old episode of Fraiser. I hadn't seen that particular one, so it was a treat. The writing was clever, lively, and compassionate. The writers really liked those characters and had affection and respect for their foibles. Contrast that with Two & a Half Men. Sad, isn't it?

You can find good shows on TV these days, but you have to search, maybe more than you want to. Here's my current list of good shows: Chuck, NCIS, Leverage, White Collar, The Big Bang Theory, Bones (although they've hit a rough patch in their scripts), and NCIS: Los Angeles (although this isn't a must see, I do enjoy it when I catch it). Other decent shows that I catch sometimes are: The Mentalist, Castle, Modern Family, Merlin, Covert Affairs, and Sanctuary (also on the way down). And of course, I like Monster Quest and Finding Bigfoot because they make me laugh (although I don't think they're supposed to).

I've been trying to limit my TV time. Watching TV is not productive. Not that I think we have to spend all of our time being productive -- downtime is necessary, too -- but as a nation in general and me in particular, we spent too much time watching TV. And absorbing the values it teaches. That's the catch. We spend hours and hours watching characters lie, cheat, steal, engage in casual sex, commit adultery, cheat on their lovers, and maim and murder. In many cases, these actions are presented as exciting and desirable. Supposedly, we know enough to distinguish between reality and these fantasies, but when you look at our nation, you can't help but doubt this.

I don't know how to fix our problems, but I think a good step would be if we'd turn off the TV more and clean our house, clean our yards, donate to our local charities, develop our spiritual and family lives, work to be better people, be frugal, rejoice in the skies above and the earth below.

It's a start.

Oakleaf Harbor Christmas Cards now on sale!
Buy Floozy and Other Stories at Amazon.com
Buy Floozy and Other Stories at Barnes&Noble.com
Buy Floozy and Other Stories in paperback at Lulu.com
Buy Floozy and Other Stories in hardcover at Lulu.com
Buy Murder by Dewey Decimal at Amazon.com
Buy Murder by Dewey Decimal at Barnes&Noble.com
Buy Murder by Dewey Decimal at BooksAMillion.com
Buy Murder by Dewey Decimal at Lulu.com
Buy Murder by the Acre at Amazon.com
Buy Murder by the Acre at Barnes&Noble.com
Buy Murder by the Acre at BooksAMillion.com
Buy Murder by the Acre in soft cover at Lulu.com
Buy Murder by the Acre in hardcover at Lulu.com
Buy Floozy, MBTA & MBDD items and more at Oakleaf Harbor

MBTM reboot

2012-01-04T13:30:00.015-06:00

Been restarting Murder by the Mile. The book stalled nearly a year ago, mostly because I lost faith in the story and in my ability to write. Although I preach that to be a writer, you must write, I wasn't writing. I wrote a few pages and abandoned them as soon as the writing got tough. (See Circles for a good example of this, although I still like that story and hope to return to it soon.)

In the MBTM reboot, I've changed many things. Took the protection off my characters as it were. Added in a couple of new subplots that really interest me. Changed the murderer almost completely. Only the name is the same. And part of the motive. It's like a new book. A better book. And one that I can approach daily without misgivings and feel good about writing.

This has revealed something fundamental to my fiction writing: I must like what I'm writing. I have to enjoy it. It has to interest me. Unlike journalism where I learned that no story was my darling for any longer than it took for someone to read and discard the newspaper or magazine in which it was publsihed. In journalism, my interest wasn't required as long as I could tell of someone else's interest and could string the words together in a coherent and lively fashion.

I realize that may seem obvious, but I had approached my fiction like it was work. And it is work, but it has to be play, too. That playfulness, that joy is what keeps me writing and lets me slog through the barren times.

What keeps you going through the barren times in life? I hope that whatever it is, you have plenty of it.

Oakleaf Harbor Christmas Cards now on sale!
Buy Floozy and Other Stories at Amazon.com
Buy Floozy and Other Stories at Barnes&Noble.com
Buy Floozy and Other Stories in paperback at Lulu.com
Buy Floozy and Other Stories in hardcover at Lulu.com
Buy Murder by Dewey Decimal at Amazon.com
Buy Murder by Dewey Decimal at Barnes&Noble.com
Buy Murder by Dewey Decimal at BooksAMillion.com
Buy Murder by Dewey Decimal at Lulu.com
Buy Murder by the Acre at Amazon.com
Buy Murder by the Acre at Barnes&Noble.com
Buy Murder by the Acre at BooksAMillion.com
Buy Murder by the Acre in soft cover at Lulu.com
Buy Murder by the Acre in hardcover at Lulu.com
Buy Floozy, MBTA & MBDD items and more at Oakleaf Harbor

Daily 20

2012-01-03T22:25:00.010-06:00

Started using my Daily 20 List again today. D20 is simply a list of 20 items that I want accomplish in that day. A simple thing, but it helps me tremendously. Keeps me productive. Just a simple list on paper. I cross off each item as it's completed.

D20 keeps me focused on the tasks at hand. I have a tendency -- all right, a habit -- of starting several projects at once and going back and forth and sometimes finishing none of them. D20 keeps me on track.

D20 also serves as a reminder of my priorities. What I choose to write down reflects what I think I should be doing. I try to write the most important items at the top of the list, but I also add items as the need arises. As long as it's on paper, it's like a contract to myself.

What do you use to stay on track? And how is your new year going so far? Any resolutions you want to share? I'm rootin' for ya!

Oakleaf Harbor Christmas Cards now on sale!
Buy Floozy and Other Stories at Amazon.com
Buy Floozy and Other Stories at Barnes&Noble.com
Buy Floozy and Other Stories in paperback at Lulu.com
Buy Floozy and Other Stories in hardcover at Lulu.com
Buy Murder by Dewey Decimal at Amazon.com
Buy Murder by Dewey Decimal at Barnes&Noble.com
Buy Murder by Dewey Decimal at BooksAMillion.com
Buy Murder by Dewey Decimal at Lulu.com
Buy Murder by the Acre at Amazon.com
Buy Murder by the Acre at Barnes&Noble.com
Buy Murder by the Acre at BooksAMillion.com
Buy Murder by the Acre in soft cover at Lulu.com
Buy Murder by the Acre in hardcover at Lulu.com
Buy Floozy, MBTA & MBDD items and more at Oakleaf Harbor

Books Read in 2011

2012-01-02T13:51:00.005-06:00

Here are the books I read in 2011. I didn't make it to a hundred books, but it's still a good list. Time to get started on the books for 2012.

As always, the rating on the books are simply my impression. Your mileage may vary.

75. **** The High Graders by Louis L'Amour. No one wrote a Western than L'Amour. A fast paced and twisty tale. Recommended.

74. *** Practical Genius by Gina Amaro Rudan.

73. **** Out There by Howard Blum. A dated but interesting look at UFOs. Blum was among the first respected reporters who examined UFOs seriously.

72. *** The Treasured One by David & Leigh Eddings.
71. *** Tribes by Seth Godin.
70. *** Hearts of Smoke and Steam by Andrew P. Mayer.

69. **** The Toaster Project by Thomas Thwaites. Fun and interesting story as the author attempts to build a cheap toaster from scratch. Informative and at times sobering.

68. **** Just My Type by Simon Garfield. This book about fonts is a bit technical, but still a lot of fun of you're interested in publishing and how fonts have influenced and been influenced by historical events.

67. *** The Christmas Almanac edited by Natasha Tabori Fried & Lena Tabori.
66. ** Get Noticed by Sheree Clark and Kristin Lennert.
65. ** DeathDay by William C. Dietz.
64. *** How To Get Organized Without Resorting To Arson by Liz Franklin.

63. **** The Falling Machine by Andrew P. Mayer. One of the better steampunk novels I've read recently. A good first book of a series, although it doesn't cover much new territory. I'm curious to see how the story develops.

62. *** Forbidden by Ted Dekker & Tosca Lee.
61. *** Hellhole by Brian Herbert & Kevin J. Anderson..
60. *** Expedition to the Mountains of the Moon by Mark Hodder.
59. *** The Elder Gods by David and Leigh Eddings.
58. *** And Furthermore by Judi Dench as told to John Miller.

57. **** The Hands of Lyr by Andre Norton. Somehow I missed reading this book during my Andre Norton fanboy days. Glad to read it now. Andre is at the top of her form, and while it ends a bit abruptly, it's still an excellent fantasy from the late Grandmaster.

56. **** The House of Silk by Anthony Horowitz. The first Sherlock Holmes novel authorized by the Arthur Conan Doyle Estate is quite good. The mystery is a bit transparent, but the characterizations of Sherlock and Watson ring true. I hope there are more in this rebirth of the world's greatest detective.

55. **** The Alloy of Law by Brandon Sanderson. Never had heard of or read any of the Mistborn novels until now. Excellent steampunk adventure. A bit confusing at first because the author apparently thought every reader had read the previous trilogy, but things became clear as I read further. Looking forward to the next book in the series.

54. *** The Hollow Earth by Rudy Rucker.
53. *** Spell Bound by Kelley Armstrong.
52. *** This Book Is Overdue by Marilyn Johnson.
51. ** The Last Centurion by John Ringo.
50. *** The Book of Lies by Brad Meltzer.
49. *** More Natural Cures Revealed by Kevin Trudeau.
48. *** Thrive by Dan Buettner.
47. *** The Life You Want by Bob Greene, Ann Kearney-Cooke and Janis Jibrin.

46. **** The Immortal Life of Henrietta Lacks by Rebecca Skloot. Fascinating and sad story of Henrietta Lacks, whose cells were taken without her knowledge and used in science in a myriad of ways.

45. **** Spider Web by Earlene Fowler. The latest entry in the Benni Harper series. There's not really that much of a mystery in this book, but you'll enjoyed reading about Benni and her fascinating and funny family and friends.

44. **** Firebird by Jack McDevitt. McDevitt can't write a bad book. In this exciting SF, series regular Alex Benedict and Chase Kolpath investigate the mysterious disappearance of a renowned physicist who investigated the fringe of science. Recommended.

43. *** Pumped for Murder by Elaine Viets.

42. **** One of Our Thursdays is Missing by Jasper Fforde. Fforde delivers huge changes to Bookworld in the fifth of the Thursday Next series. Clever and witty, but you really need to read the other four books in the series to fully enjoy it. By the way, Thursday Next is the heroine's name.

41. **** Mystery in the Minster by Susanna Gregory. The 17th entry in the Chronicle of Matthew Bartholomew, this medieval mystery kept me guessing. Gregory knits all the threads together by the end. I'm looking forward to the next one. I hate that I have to wait until next year.

40. **** Ghost Story by Jim Butcher. Not the strongest entry in the long-running Dresden Files series but still good, it does have the distinction of starting with our hero being dead. Takes a lot to write a character out of that situation.

39. **** The President's Vampire by Christopher Farnsworth. A fairly straightforward techo-thriller. Think Clive Cussler with vampires. What it does, it does well.

38. *** The Half-Made World by Felix Gilman.
37. *** 90 Days to Your Novel by Sarah Domet.

36. **** Visions by Michio Kaku. Written in 1997, this book looks to the future. While interesting and lively, it's somewhat dated. But what's sad is how many of these future visions are yet to come true.

35. **** The Prayer of Jabez by Bruce Wilkinson. This small book continues to help people attain more in their spiritual life and started a whole movement based on it.

34. **** The Power of Positive Thinking by Norman Vincent Peale. The ultimate think-better/feel-better book that continues to impress and inspire people. Helpful.

33. **** The Well-Fed Writer: Back for Seconds by Peter Bowerman. Updated version of The Well-Fed Writer with expanded sections on marketing, promotion, and cold-calling.

32. **** The Well-Fed Writer by Peter Bowerman. Another well-written and informative book about writing nonfiction articles. A bit dated, but good reading.

31. **** How to Write & Sell Simple Information for Fun and Profit by Robert W. Bly with Fred Gleeck. Informative and entertaining book about writing short nonfiction articles. Not as detailed as I hoped, but worth reading for anyone interested in selling articles.

30. **** The Strange Affair of Spring-Heeled Jack by Mark Hodder. Another steampunk entry with a decidedly mystical bend. Not sure whether the author can control all the events he has in motion in this series, but it's fun, fast, and fascinating to watch him try.

29. **** A Matter of Trust by Sherrilyn Polf. A moving and lyrical romance set just before the outbreak of WWII. The first in a series -- The Engineers of Flight -- that will make you want to read more.

28. **** My Heart Will Always Cry by Janell Haworth Desmond. A heart-breaking and devastating journey as the author survives her son's suicide and learns to live with hope and healing.

27. **** Jack London: Writer of Adventure by Martha Rhynes. A lively and interesting biography of the famous writer and his infamous escapades. Well worth your time even if you don't like biographies.

26. **** The Summer of the Frogs by Tressa Green. The diary of a psychotic woman seen through her eyes. Fascinating and frightening. It's a book you will think long and hard about.

25. **** Snuff by Terry Pratchett. Discworld remains one of fantasy's most amazing and wonderful creations. In this wisely funny novel, Commander Sam Vines takes a vacation that promptly involves him in murder, conspiracy, goblins, and lords behaving badly. Always entertaining with a subtle message about the rights of all freed creatures. Recommended.

24. **** Ganymede by Cherie Priest. Another entry in the steampunk and zombie stories of The Clockwork Century. Less suspenseful and less focused than the previous two books, it's still worth a read.

23. *** The Beginning of Infinity by David Deautsch.
22. *** Eat by Ian Smith.

21. ***** The Wild Life of Our Bodies by Rob Dunn. A fascinating look at the bugs, parasites, and other crawlies in our body that may help us more than they harm us.

20. **** I'll Mature When I'm Dead by Dave Barry. A new collection of funny essays from the master humorist.

19. *** I'm Over All That by Shirley MacLaine.
18. *** Ageless Memory by Harry Lorayne.
17. ** The Path of Energy by Synthia Andrews.

16. **** The Happiness Project by Gretchen Rubin. A one year project by a woman in an attempt to make her life happier. Excellent suggestions.

15. *** 20 Years Younger by Bob Greene.
14. *** Your Creative Brain by Shelley Carson.
13. *** The Vitamin D Solution by Dr. M.F. Holick.
12. *** Don't Look Down by Jennifer Cruise.

11. **** Dreadnought by Cherie Priest. A steampunk/zombie novel that reads fast and fills your mind with images of a alternative world of terrible realities and strange vistas. Recommended.

10. *** The Portable Crafter: Cardmarking by Peggy Jo Ackley.
9. *** Squirrel Seeks Chipmunk by David Sedaris.
8. *** Lord John and the Hand of Devils by Diana Gabaldon.
7. * Curation Nation by Steven Rosenbaum.

6. **** Hiss of Death by Rita Mae Brown & Sneaky Pie Brown. Another excellent entry in the Mrs. Murphy mysteries. I wish the Browns would write more and write faster. Recommended.

5. **** 20,000 Leagues Under the Sea by Jules Verne as retold by JacQueline Morley and illustrated by Li Sidong. This graphic novel does a good job with Verne's story. Excellent for teenagers and older children. Recommended.

4. ** Mrs. Pargeter's Point of Honor by Simon Brett.

3. **** Wake by Robert J. Sawyer. A great science fiction tale that manages to be informative without ever being boring. Sawyer is our generation's Issac Asimov -- and may be the better writer. Recommended.

2. **** Composed by Rosanne Cash. I usually avoid celebrity memoirs because I learn things I didn't want to know. This memoir, however, is lovely and lyrical with absorbing life lessons that apply to all of us. Recommended.

1. **** The Guinea Pig Diaries by A.J. Jacobs. Funny and fascinating collection of "experiments" to which Jacobs subjected himself -- and his long suffering wife. Recommended.

Oakleaf Harbor Christmas Cards now on sale!
Buy Floozy and Other Stories at Amazon.com
Buy Floozy and Other Stories at Barnes&Noble.com
Buy Floozy and Other Stories in paperback at Lulu.com
Buy Floozy and Other Stories in hardcover at Lulu.com
Buy Murder by Dewey Decimal at Amazon.com
Buy Murder by Dewey Decimal at Barnes&Noble.com
Buy Murder by Dewey Decimal at BooksAMillion.com
Buy Murder by Dewey Decimal at Lulu.com
Buy Murder by the Acre at Amazon.com
Buy Murder by the Acre at Barnes&Noble.com
Buy Murder by the Acre at BooksAMillion.com
Buy Murder by the Acre in soft cover at Lulu.com
Buy Murder by the Acre in hardcover at Lulu.com
Buy Floozy, MBTA & MBDD items and more at Oakleaf Harbor

20 for 2012

2012-01-01T15:43:00.001-06:00

Here are my goals for 2012, at least the ones I'm able to share.

Writing
1. I will finish and publish Murder by the Mile. To this end, I have committed to writing one page per day five days a week. I hope to do write more, but that's the baseline.

2. I will publish Tales from Bethlehem. Mostly I just have to be pull it together, write two more Tales for it, and create a cover.

3. I will continue to work on Debt Free At Last! A Beginner's Guide to Money Management. I'd like to publish it this year, but it's not as high a priority as the other two are.

4. I will continue to add Christmas cards to Oakleaf Harbor on Cafepress.com. I'd like to have 50 card designs available before November next year.

5. I will add a birthday card selection to Oakleaf Harbor on Cafepress.com. I'd like to have 50 card designs available this year.

6. I will continue to send Dragons Gather and Darkness, Oklahoma to agents and publishers. Because each rejection moves me closer to an acceptance.

Health
7. I will walk at the gym 4-5 days a week, depending on health and holidays.

8. I will improve my diet and eat more veggies and low carb foods.

9. I will arrange for a colonoscopy. I have to figure out how to pay for it, but with the cancer history in my family, I need to do this this year.

10. I will continue to look at holistic health solutions and ways of life.

Declutter
11. I will remove 50 books from my book collection and sell or donate to the local library.

12. I will have two garage sales.

13. I will remove 50 items from my closets and sell or donate them or trash them.

14. I will try to remove an item when I add an item to my house.

Misc.
15. I will continue to seek a job, full time or part time, even though I'm very discouraged about this. However, as my health improves, other jobs that I can't physically do now will be possible. I can do this and will.

16. I will read 75 books this year.

17. I will continue to read the New Testament and finish it this year. I will also read Psalms and Proverbs.

18. I will pray daily and give thanks for my blessings.

19. I will remember that honesty can cause pain and remember that I can never completely know what another person is going through and thus should not judge. In other words, I will keep my mouth shut when my opinion hasn't been asked for -- and sometimes even when it has been.

20. I will try to be more forgiving of myself and others. We're human and frail in many many ways. We all need a break.

Well, there are my goals for the New Year. I probably won't obtain all of them, but I will some of them and will make progress on the rest. What more could I realistically ask?

Oakleaf Harbor Christmas Cards now on sale!
Buy Floozy and Other Stories at Amazon.com
Buy Floozy and Other Stories at Barnes&Noble.com
Buy Floozy and Other Stories in paperback at Lulu.com
Buy Floozy and Other Stories in hardcover at Lulu.com
Buy Murder by Dewey Decimal at Amazon.com
Buy Murder by Dewey Decimal at Barnes&Noble.com
Buy Murder by Dewey Decimal at BooksAMillion.com
Buy Murder by Dewey Decimal at Lulu.com
Buy Murder by the Acre at Amazon.com
Buy Murder by the Acre at Barnes&Noble.com
Buy Murder by the Acre at BooksAMillion.com
Buy Murder by the Acre in soft cover at Lulu.com
Buy Murder by the Acre in hardcover at Lulu.com
Buy Floozy, MBTA & MBDD items and more at Oakleaf Harbor

Take That - Greatest Day (Official Video)

2011-12-31T17:06:00.001-06:00

My second favorite song for the New Year. (Click on the Watch on YouTube link.)

Barry Manilow: It's Just Another New Years Eve

2011-12-31T16:58:00.000-06:00

My favorite song for New Years Eve.

HSCC 2011.25: Luke & John

2011-12-25T00:01:00.001-06:00

And now for the final day of the Harbor Street Christmas Celebration 2011, we share the beginnings of Christmas. Thank you for coming by.
*************************
Luke 2:1 And it came to pass in those days, that there went out a decree from Caesar Augustus, that all the world should be taxed.
2:2 (And this taxing was first made when Cyrenius was governor of Syria.)
2:3 And all went to be taxed, every one into his own city.
2:4 And Joseph also went up from Galilee, out of the city of Nazareth, into Judaea, unto the city of David, which is called Bethlehem; (because he was of the house and lineage of David:)
2:5 To be taxed with Mary his espoused wife, being great with Child.
2:6 And so it was, that, while they were there, the days were accomplished that she should be delivered.
2:7 And she brought forth her firstborn Son, and wrapped Him in swaddling clothes, and laid Him in a manger; because there was no room for them in the inn.
2:8 And there were in the same country shepherds abiding in the field, keeping watch over their flock by night.
2:9 And, lo, the angel of the LORD came upon them, and the glory of the LORD shone round about them: and they were sore afraid.
2:10 And the angel said unto them, Fear not: for, behold, I bring you good tidings of great joy, which shall be to all people.
2:11 For unto you is born this day in the city of David a Saviour, which is Christ the LORD.
2:12 And this shall be a sign unto you; Ye shall find the Babe wrapped in swaddling clothes, lying in a manger.
2:13 And suddenly there was with the angel a multitude of the heavenly host praising God, and saying,
2:14 Glory to God in the highest, and on earth peace, good will toward men.
2:15 And it came to pass, as the angels were gone away from them into Heaven, the shepherds said one to another, Let us now go even unto Bethlehem, and see this thing which is come to pass, which the LORD hath made known unto us.
2:16 And they came with haste, and found Mary, and Joseph, and the Babe lying in a manger.
2:17 And when they had seen it, they made known abroad the saying which was told them concerning this Child.
2:18 And all they that heard it wondered at those things which were told them by the shepherds.
2:19 But Mary kept all these things, and pondered them in her heart.
2:20 And the shepherds returned, glorifying and praising God for all the things that they had heard and seen, as it was told unto them.
2:21 And when eight days were accomplished for the circumcising of the Child, His Name was called JESUS, which was so named of the angel before He was conceived in the womb.

Matthew 2:1 Now when Jesus was born in Bethlehem of Judea in the days of Herod the king, behold, there came wise men from the east to Jerusalem,
2:2 saying, Where is he that is born King of the Jews? for we have seen his star in the east, and are come to worship him.
2:3 When Herod the king had heard these things, he was troubled, and all Jerusalem with him.
2:4 And when he had gathered all the chief priests and scribes of the people together, he demanded of them where Christ should be born.
2:5 And they said unto him, In Bethlehem of Judea: for thus it is written by the prophet,
2:6 And thou Bethlehem, in the land of Judah, art not the least among the princes of Judah:
for out of thee shall come a Governor, that shall rule my people Israel.
2:7 Then Herod, when he had privily called the wise men, inquired of them diligently what time the star appeared.
2:8 And he sent them to Bethlehem, and said, Go and search diligently for the young child; and when ye have found him, bring me word again, that I may come and worship him also.
2:9 When they had heard the king, they departed; and, lo, the star, which they saw in the east, went before them, till it came and stood over where the young child was.
2:10 When they saw the star, they rejoiced with exceeding great joy.
2:11 And when they were come into the house, they saw the young child with Mary his mother, and fell down, and worshipped him: and when they had opened their treasures, they presented unto him gifts; gold, and frankincense, and myrrh.
***
I hope you have a safe, happy, and healthy Christmas filled with God's love for us and the love of your family and friends. Have a wonderful day.

Oakleaf Harbor Christmas Cards now on sale!
Buy Floozy and Other Stories at Amazon.com
Buy Floozy and Other Stories at Barnes&Noble.com
Buy Floozy and Other Stories in paperback at Lulu.com
Buy Floozy and Other Stories in hardcover at Lulu.com
Buy Murder by Dewey Decimal at Amazon.com
Buy Murder by Dewey Decimal at Barnes&Noble.com
Buy Murder by Dewey Decimal at BooksAMillion.com
Buy Murder by Dewey Decimal at Lulu.com
Buy Murder by the Acre at Amazon.com
Buy Murder by the Acre at Barnes&Noble.com
Buy Murder by the Acre at BooksAMillion.com
Buy Murder by the Acre in soft cover at Lulu.com
Buy Murder by the Acre in hardcover at Lulu.com
Buy Floozy, MBTA & MBDD items and more at Oakleaf Harbor

HSCC 2011.24: The Slave's Tale

2011-12-24T15:10:00.000-06:00

For Christmas Eve and the 24th day of the Harbor Street Christmas Celebration 2011, we share our last tale from Bethlehem this year.

************************

Tales from Bethlehem:

The Slave's Tale

By Stephen B. Bagley

My name is Gaulus, and I am a slave. But this story is not about slavery. Nor is its subject escape, although I did not wish to be a slave. I wanted to live my own life.

I was not a common slave. I could write, and I knew my numbers. In fact, knowing my numbers was how I became a slave. When I was a young man, I was found guilty of embezzlement from my employer, a Roman senator. The court punished me by stripping me of my citizenship and selling me into slavery. My parents were not wealthy or powerful. They could only watch as my life was auctioned away. Woe unto me.

That was twenty-five years ago. I had lived longer as a slave than I did as a citizen. Sometimes that other life and those other dreams seem to have belonged to a stranger. On bad nights, they burned within me and reminded me what I could have been. But this story is not about what I lost.

My master was Lucius Aemilius Paullus. He was a good master as masters go, beating me rarely and seeing that I was fed at least once a day. He was also, according to himself, a handsome man, a statement to which I must agree since he had only a few pox scars, a blotchy complexion, the odor of a rotting carcass, and at least eight teeth. We lived in Rome, where he was a merchant in used furniture, but we were traveling back from his late wife’s friend’s cousin’s sister’s son’s wedding when we were forced to stop in a dirty little town in Judah.

This town, this Bethlehem, overflowed with people then. The great Caesar Augustus had decreed that everyone should return to their place of birth so that they could be counted. And taxed since that was the true purpose of the census. (That was one advantage of being a slave; I paid no taxes. Rather I was property upon which Paullus had to pay taxes. I trust you will not think ill of me to learn tax time always afforded me a certain amount of satisfaction.)

We were forced to stop because Paullus had eaten bad fish sauce from a stall on the road and became sick with much heaving from the stomach. Since he had an ample stomach, the heaving was ample, also. It was a simple illness, however, and one he would soon recover from. He had both the constitution — and grace — of an ox.

Fortunately we were able to get a room at one of Bethlehem’s inns. Keloe’s Inn it was called. My master took the largest room available. His personal slave Audius attended to him. His bodyguards Spurius and Gnaeus drank themselves into a stupor and made clumsy advances on the serving girls who were adept in avoiding them. I wandered the inn and the town and attempted to stay out of everyone’s sight less I be forced to work.

Jews were everywhere. Ordinarily, I contented myself with the thought that, although I was a slave, at least I wasn’t a Jew. The Jews held themselves apart and did not worship the approved gods. They had their own god whom they did not share, and they were always revolting. I mean, they revolted against the government. They waited for a king who would lead them to victory against their oppressors. These so-called messiahs sprang up like weeds, but each one was cut down by the Roman army.

People wondered why the Jews continued to resist. It would be easier if they worshipped Roman gods and followed Roman laws. Rome’s great strength lay in how it swallowed all it conquered. But the Jews refused to be a meal.

That particular night, the sky had cleared and the wind had a sharp bite to it. I had my meal of a block of cheese, a small onion, and a slab of bread with a small cup of Keloe’s vile wine to wash it down with. I went outside and found a place to sit near a wall toward the back of the inn and near the stable.

After I ate, I lingered there even though it was chilly. I was restless. Perhaps even excited. But I will not lie to you and say I knew what was coming. None of us knew.

I huddled by the wall. When darkness was nearly complete, one of the inn’s servants, a boy named Gregor, led a man and a woman to the stable. The woman rode a small donkey. I smirked as I realized the innkeeper had sent them to bed in the stable. Then I saw the woman was with child. I felt somewhat ashamed of myself and wished I could help them.

They entered the stable, and the boy hustled around helping them. A serving girl came out and spoke with the boy. It was obvious even to me that she had plans to marry him, but it did not seem to be obvious to him. I envied them for their youth and their freedom. Wretched was I and woe —

I heard a baby cry. Even I, a wretched slave, smiled at that. New life. I hoped this babe would never suffer as I had. If only ...

I heard them before I smelled them and smelled them before I saw them. Sheep. A flock of them. A large flock of them came around the corner of the inn. And kept coming. Several tall shepherds came forward and stood outside the stable, looking in. I wondered what habit this was. I thought about being a shepherd and how their lives were free. My life was truly horrible and —

Suddenly I could see. No, not the sight of wisdom, but I could actually see. I stared at the heavens where a blaze of light dominated the night sky. A star made of golden light that flowed toward the earth. Toward this inn. Toward that stable.

I stood. My first impulse was to flee. My second was to press forward toward the stable. No, it would be wiser to flee. But I passed by the stable boy and the serving girl who were talking to the shepherds. I should run now.

I heard what the shepherds said. They were in the fields, watching their flocks. And an angel appeared and spoke to them. And it said, “Fear not: for behold, I bring you great tidings of great joy, which shall be to all people. For unto you is born this day in the city of David a Savior which is Christ the Lord. And this shall be a sign unto you: Ye shall find the babe wrapped in swaddling clothes, lying in a manger.” And then the heavens were filled with angels. And the angels said, “Glory to God in highest and on earth peace, good will toward men.”

But I kept walking. Light blazed from the star. I heard camels behind me as their hooves clopped up the street. I paused for a moment. The world turned around this place. I drew in a breath filled with the fragrance of hope and joy. Three men dressed in fine silk robes passed me and entered the stable. My legs trembled. I shivered. I tottered on the edge of a precipice. I took another step forward and walked into the stable and finally saw Him. In that moment — and for all time — I will be the most blessed of men.

I told you what this story wasn’t about. Now I tell you what it is about. It’s about a babe in a manger who would be the king of my heart for the rest of my life. It’s about a slave who was given the gift of true freedom. It’s about hope.

************************

See you tomorrow!

HSCC 2011.23: Underwear jobs

2011-12-23T15:00:00.002-06:00

And for today, the 23rd day of the Harbor Street Christmas Celebration 2011, we share ... well, it's hard to describe. You should just read it.
***********************
Stuff envelopes while only wearing your underwear for $$$

By Stephen Bagley

I’ve been looking at self-employment opportunities. There are all sorts of opportunities out there. You can stuff envelopes, sell timeshares, do phone sales (and in some cases actually sell phones), sell foreclosure information, etc. In all these diverse and mostly unbelievable offers, I found a common thread. They all seem to have a line somewhere in their brochures like this: “You can go to work in your underwear!”

Now that made me curious. Other than people who work in Las Vegas, is there a large segment of society who go to work only in their underwear? And is that a goal a civilized society should be working for?

I think going to work only in your underwear is a good example of casual Friday gone terribly wrong. Just the idea of seeing my former coworkers in their underwear is enough to give me the dancing heebie-jeebies. There’s a lot to be said for clothes. Particularly since they cover our flabby, pale, pimply, blemished, scarred, stretched, misshapen, and sometimes tattooed bodies.

Speaking of tattoos, they're not right for me. I can barely manage to date the same woman for more than six months at a time before her sweet, endearing little quirks make me want to push her down the stairs; do you think I want a picture of a flaming skull on my chest for the rest of my life? (Just in case, that’s too subtle: I don’t.) And don't get me started about that guy who had the entire New Testament tattooed on his body. There are certain places Bible verses should not be, and armpits are among them.

If you didn’t wear clothes to work, you’d have to fight about the thermostat setting all the time because your office would either be too cold or too hot for different people. You have to worry about sharp objects on your chair piercing your tender skin. And you might learn that hairy Ed in accounting wears Hello Kitty underpants, but did you really want to know that? I don’t think so.

Some of the work-at-home brochures don't mention underwear, of course. Those say you can work at home in your sweatpants and/or pajamas. Once again, there’s that idea that wearing clothes is a bad thing. Apparently the work-at-home people are all closet nudists. Remember that kid who always seemed to lose his swimsuit on campouts? He’s working at home now.

Admittedly, I’m not the person to ask about nudity. As has been pointed out more than once, I’m basically a prude. One friend once told me that he thought I had been born middle-aged. While there is some truth to that, I’d like to point out that, if I ever ran for President of the United States, the media would find little if anything racy to report and might be forced to focus on the real issues. Ha ha ha. Yeah, I laughed at the idea of a responsible media, too.

There are at least two nudist camps in Oklahoma. You might be wondering how I know that — yes, you were. When I worked as editor for the OSU newspaper, two or three reporters would come to me and want to do a story about the camps. I’d always agree, but they never turned in a story. The camps value their privacy and don’t allow interviews or photographers.

Being raised in the country, I know too much about ticks, chiggers, poison ivy, bees, hornets, rabid skunks, etc., to ever want to be naked outside. I think nudists are — and I hope I don’t offend any of my family, I really hope that — bonkers. But I’m a prude. And somewhat proud of it.

The other selling point of the brochures is the money. Money, money, money. They say you can make thousands of dollars a week by using their secrets. You can change your life for the better. You can own a fancy car, a huge house, and take fantastic vacations. And all they need from you is your credit card number and expiration date.

Oddly enough, they won’t let you use their secrets and then pay them. You have to pay them first. This seems to imply they don’t trust you, but who can blame them? It’s hard to trust someone who’s sitting around the house all day in their underwear.

***********************
See you tomorrow!

Oakleaf Harbor Christmas Cards now on sale!
Buy Floozy and Other Stories at Amazon.com
Buy Floozy and Other Stories at Barnes&Noble.com
Buy Floozy and Other Stories in paperback at Lulu.com
Buy Floozy and Other Stories in hardcover at Lulu.com
Buy Murder by Dewey Decimal at Amazon.com
Buy Murder by Dewey Decimal at Barnes&Noble.com
Buy Murder by Dewey Decimal at BooksAMillion.com
Buy Murder by Dewey Decimal at Lulu.com
Buy Murder by the Acre at Amazon.com
Buy Murder by the Acre at Barnes&Noble.com
Buy Murder by the Acre at BooksAMillion.com
Buy Murder by the Acre in soft cover at Lulu.com
Buy Murder by the Acre in hardcover at Lulu.com
Buy Floozy, MBTA & MBDD items and more at Oakleaf Harbor

HSCC 2011.22: A Donkey's Tale

2011-12-22T11:37:00.007-06:00

For the 22nd day of the Harbor Street Christmas Celebration 2011, we share another tale of Bethlehem.
**********************
Tales from Bethlehem
The Tale of Humble Donkey

       It’s good to be a donkey. We’re stronger than horses, faster than mules, more beautiful than both of them and many times more intelligent. And so humble! We are the most humble animals. I myself am proud of my awesome humility.
       I explained it to my friend Dolores, the horse, as we chewed on some straw in our shed in Nazareth. “Dolores,” I said. “My humility is overwhelming. I amaze myself sometimes.”
       Dolores cocked an ear. “I’m often amazed by you, too,” she said.
       Clem, the dog, laughed then for some reason. I often don’t understand what he’s laughing at, but he’s cheery if a bit dim, and I’ve learned to tolerate him. After all, not every creature can be a donkey.
       “Queenie, you have a lot to be humble about,” Clem said.
       I flicked my tail and tried to puzzle out what he meant. I think he was attempting to compliment me in his pitiful way. Yes, that had to be it.
       “Thank you,” I said.
       In his joy of my acknowledgement of his compliment, he rolled on the stable ground in laughter. I do like bringing joy to the lesser animals.
       Just then Joachim and Anna came into the shed with their daughter Mary and a young man named Joseph. The chickens had told me that Joseph was betrothed to Mary, but the goat told Clem who told Delores who told me that there had been trouble when Mary returned from her visit to her cousin. Apparently — and don’t let anyone know you heard it from me because donkeys simply don’t gossip the way other creatures do — Mary was with child. Yes, that’s right, and hear this — it wasn’t Joseph’s child.
       I know it’s hard to understand, but parentage is very important to humans. I don’t know why, but I suspect it’s because they have only two legs and don’t have a tail. They have to compensate in some way.
       Joachim said, “You can take the horse.”
       “Oh no, Father,” Mary said. “You need her for the farm.”
       “Don’t argue with your father,” Anna told Mary. “Bethlehem is a long way, and you’re in no …” She paused, and her face reddened. “It’s a long way.”
       Mary looked at the ground.
       “It is as Mary has said,” the young man said, moving to stand by Mary. “You need the horse. We cannot take it on such a long journey. If it broke a leg or was set upon by wild animals, we would be hard-pressed to replace it.”
       Mary looked up and shyly smiled.
       “Then please take the donkey, Joseph,” Joachim said. “It’s a poor excuse for a horse, but it can carry Mary. It’s old, stubborn, and doesn’t look like much, but if the wild animals get it, no one has lost anything valuable.”
       I looked around the stable, trying to catch a glimpse of the pitiful creature so described, but it must have been hiding behind my stall. They never could find it so that’s how I found myself on the road to Bethlehem.
       “Road,” however, is too kind a word for the trail on which we were forced to travel. Rocks the size of Dolores’s hindquarters forced us to take a meandering path. And there was no forage to speak of. I was lucky to grab a few mouthfuls of grass and a swallow of water. Not that anyone noticed how much I was suffering. No, that dolt Joseph only had eyes for his precious Mary. “Mary, are you comfortable? Mary, eat this. Mary, you should rest. Mary, how are you feeling?” Bray, bray, bray. But did he offer any concern to me? NO!
       And it was no joy carrying Mary, either. Oh, she was nice enough, quiet and sweet in her way, but she was near to her time so she was heavy, wearing me down. Finally, after too many days, I’d had enough. No more!
       We had stopped for the evening near a small stream. I fumed all through the night. I was not going to go another step, and if they thought I would, they had another think coming.
       The next morning, Joseph pulled on my halter. I rose, then settled my hindquarters back down. He pulled and pulled and pulled. I didn’t move. He found a limb and tried to lever me up. I calmly stood, took two steps, and sat back down. Even Mary found the look on his face comical. She giggled.
       Joseph glared at her. Then he began to laugh. They fell against each other, holding each other in helpless laughter.
       “Oh, Mary,” Joseph said. “What are we going to do now? I don’t think that donkey is going to move, not even if I beat on its sorry hide.”
       “I think I could walk a while,” Mary said. “If we went slowly. And surely we will soon meet others on the way.”
       They gathered up their belongings, pretending that they were going to leave me. Joseph even went so far as to remove my halter. He patted me on the side of my neck. “I guess you were just too old for this trip,” he said. “I wish we could wait for you to recover your strength, but I must get Mary to town before the baby comes.” He patted my neck again. “Beware the wild beasts.”
       They walked slowly away. I was wise to their tricks. Soon they would be back. I sat and watched them disappear over the hill. I became conscious of the sounds of the hillside, the birds calling, the rustle of the small rodents. I could no longer hear them. Surely they hadn’t left me?!
       I brayed in dismay and shock. What could they be thinking? Had the long days of travel totally addled their minds? I gasped. Of course! That was it. They had lost their minds! Two silly young people, lost in the wilderness, and I had abandoned them. I raced after them. Who knows what mischief they could get into? It was my responsibility to take care of them. It was clear now that I had been chosen to watch out over those two, to keep the poor dumb dears safe.
       It didn’t take me long to catch up to them. For some reason, they didn’t seem surprised to see me, but they did seem pleased. Naturally. After all, a donkey is the most pleasant ride, and for a woman close to her time, it’s the best there is.
       The next day, we joined a few other travelers. They were not welcoming, making a point to tell Joseph that we couldn’t share their fire. Their horses were particularly unkind, neighing loudly about Mary’s long ears and coarse coat. Fortunately she didn’t understand what they were saying. I ignored them. That is all you can do with the ignorant.
       Bethlehem was crowded with humans. The odors were quite unpleasant. As we went from one inn to another, it finally dawned on me that Joseph hadn’t made plans for a place to stay for us. Typical human. Not that I would want to stay in their inns. I glimpsed in the window of one and could barely see due to the smoke. And the straw on the floor was filthy. I wouldn’t set a hoof on it, much less let my dear Mary set a foot on it.
       Joseph was frantic, pleading with an innkeeper named Keloe for a place for Mary, but the innkeeper kept saying there was no room for them in the inn. I looked around and saw the stable. Perfect! The stable would be out of the wind and give Mary some privacy, except for the animals, of course, and what we don’t know about birthing isn’t worth knowing.
       But how to explain this to this lumpish innkeeper? Mary was still on my back so I stepped toward the stable. I looked back the innkeeper. He didn’t notice. I took a few more steps, pulling on the halter. Joseph tried to hold me back, his attention on the innkeeper.
       Mary gave a soft cry. I knew she was out of time, but the men kept arguing.
       I laid my ears back. Enough. My Mary wasn’t going to give birth on a dirty street. I headed for the stable. If Joseph didn’t let go, he was going to go with us.
       The innkeeper saw me pulling for the stable, and greed lit up his face. “You could stay in the stable,” he said, acting as if he had thought of it himself. Joseph agreed, being dragged along as I made my way. A stableboy showed up to lead us, not that I needed him.
       Soon we had Mary inside on clean soft straw. Exhausted, I found a place near a wall and laid down. A Roman soldier’s horse snorted. “Don’t be lying next to me, ugly donkey,” he said.
       I looked at him in surprise.
       “Yeah,” another horse snorted. “Not near me, either. Shouldn’t something as old as you be vulture food already?”
       The horses began to laugh. Although I knew they were wrong and that I was beautiful and ageless, big tears welled up in my eyes. I was so tired, and it had been such a long day. I lowered my head.
       Then a glow filled the stable. The horses stopped in mid-neigh. In the silence, a glorious Messenger appeared! His presence filled the stable. He was there to honor the babe, but he turned to me and touched my head lovingly. “Blessed are you, little donkey, for you have carried and will carry the King of Kings and Lord of Lords,” he said. He glanced at the horses and dismissed them as easily as that.
       Of course, you know the rest of the story and who was born that wonderful night, but now you know who carried His mother and then carried Him and His family into Egypt. I served Him all my life. I told you it was good to be a donkey.

Copyright 2011 by Stephen B. Bagley. All rights reserved. Excerpted from Tales from Bethlehem. No copying without express written permission.
**********************
See you tomorrow.

Oakleaf Harbor Christmas Cards now on sale!

Buy Floozy and Other Stories at Amazon.com
Buy Floozy and Other Stories at Barnes&Noble.com
Buy Floozy and Other Stories in paperback at Lulu.com
Buy Floozy and Other Stories in hardcover at Lulu.com
Buy Murder by Dewey Decimal at Amazon.com
Buy Murder by Dewey Decimal at Barnes&Noble.com
Buy Murder by Dewey Decimal at BooksAMillion.com
Buy Murder by Dewey Decimal at Lulu.com
Buy Murder by the Acre at Amazon.com
Buy Murder by the Acre at Barnes&Noble.com
Buy Murder by the Acre at BooksAMillion.com
Buy Murder by the Acre in soft cover at Lulu.com
Buy Murder by the Acre in hardcover at Lulu.com
Buy Floozy, MBTA & MBDD items and more at Oakleaf Harbor

HSCC 2011.21: A Christmas Poem

2011-12-21T11:27:00.007-06:00

Welcome to the 21st day of the Harbor Street Christmas Celebration 2011! Today we'll share that Christmas poem that most people know of and know some of.
*********************
Twas the Night before Christmas
(AKA A Visit from St. Nicholas)

By Clement Clarke Moore

Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the house
Not a creature was stirring, not even a mouse.
The stockings were hung by the chimney with care,
In hopes that St Nicholas soon would be there.

The children were nestled all snug in their beds,
While visions of sugar-plums danced in their heads.
And mamma in her ‘kerchief, and I in my cap,
Had just settled our brains for a long winter’s nap.

When out on the lawn there arose such a clatter,
I sprang from the bed to see what was the matter.
Away to the window I flew like a flash,
Tore open the shutters and threw up the sash.

The moon on the breast of the new-fallen snow
Gave the lustre of mid-day to objects below.
When, what to my wondering eyes should appear,
But a miniature sleigh, and eight tiny reindeer.

With a little old driver, so lively and quick,
I knew in a moment it must be St Nick.
More rapid than eagles his coursers they came,
And he whistled, and shouted, and called them by name!

"Now Dasher! now, Dancer! now, Prancer and Vixen!
On, Comet! On, Cupid! on, on Donner and Blitzen!
To the top of the porch! to the top of the wall!
Now dash away! Dash away! Dash away all!"

As dry leaves that before the wild hurricane fly,
When they meet with an obstacle, mount to the sky.
So up to the house-top the coursers they flew,
With the sleigh full of Toys, and St Nicholas too.

And then, in a twinkling, I heard on the roof
The prancing and pawing of each little hoof.
As I drew in my head, and was turning around,
Down the chimney St Nicholas came with a bound.

He was dressed all in fur, from his head to his foot,
And his clothes were all tarnished with ashes and soot.
A bundle of Toys he had flung on his back,
And he looked like a peddler, just opening his pack.

His eyes-how they twinkled! his dimples how merry!
His cheeks were like roses, his nose like a cherry!
His droll little mouth was drawn up like a bow,
And the beard of his chin was as white as the snow.

The stump of a pipe he held tight in his teeth,
And the smoke it encircled his head like a wreath.
He had a broad face and a little round belly,
That shook when he laughed, like a bowlful of jelly!

He was chubby and plump, a right jolly old elf,
And I laughed when I saw him, in spite of myself!
A wink of his eye and a twist of his head,
Soon gave me to know I had nothing to dread.

He spoke not a word, but went straight to his work,
And filled all the stockings, then turned with a jerk.
And laying his finger aside of his nose,
And giving a nod, up the chimney he rose!

He sprang to his sleigh, to his team gave a whistle,
And away they all flew like the down of a thistle.
But I heard him exclaim, ‘ere he drove out of sight,
"Happy Christmas to all, and to all a good-night!"
*********************
See you tomorrow.

Oakleaf Harbor Christmas Cards now on sale!
Buy Floozy and Other Stories at Amazon.com
Buy Floozy and Other Stories at Barnes&Noble.com
Buy Floozy and Other Stories in paperback at Lulu.com
Buy Floozy and Other Stories in hardcover at Lulu.com
Buy Murder by Dewey Decimal at Amazon.com
Buy Murder by Dewey Decimal at Barnes&Noble.com
Buy Murder by Dewey Decimal at BooksAMillion.com
Buy Murder by Dewey Decimal at Lulu.com
Buy Murder by the Acre at Amazon.com
Buy Murder by the Acre at Barnes&Noble.com
Buy Murder by the Acre at BooksAMillion.com
Buy Murder by the Acre in soft cover at Lulu.com
Buy Murder by the Acre in hardcover at Lulu.com
Buy Floozy, MBTA & MBDD items and more at Oakleaf Harbor

HSCC 2011.20: The Empty Innkeeper

2011-12-20T11:20:00.009-06:00

Welcome to the 20th day of the Harbor Street Christmas Celebration! Today we'll share another Tale of Bethlehem.
********************
Tales of Bethlehem:
The Tale of the Empty Innkeeper

By Stephen B. Bagley

       Let us talk, good Manius Cassius. It will make the leagues go faster as we travel. Let me tell you a story from my life. You may find it illuminating.
       My name is Keloe Diodorus. I am an innkeeper. I see you’ve heard of me. I’d like to think you’ve heard about my inn and how we treat travelers with the utmost care unless they don’t pay and then we break their knees. Ha, ha. Just kidding. We’ve never broken any knees because they sneak out before we can catch them. My good wife Sapphira suggested we tie everyone to their beds, but that idea didn’t seem to sit easy with anyone.
       Anyway, as I was saying, I’d like to think you’ve heard of Keloe’s Inn in Bethlehem. It’s not perfect, of course, and I have been accused of possessing an excessive zeal for cleanliness since I require my employees to bathe once a week whether they need it or not and we wash our dishes once a month or if flies become a problem. And we do NOT serve rat — although if we did, my cook Linos would dip it in a grain and honey batter and fry it in olive oil. Delicious! Not that I’ve had it before, of course. We don’t serve rat, having fortunately found a supplier of that rarest of creatures, four-legged chickens.
       But of course, you’ve not heard of my excellent Inn — just inside Bethlehem across from the Roman road, turn left at the marker stone, we’ll leave a lamp burning for you — no, what you’ve heard is that I made a young couple spend the night in my stable. What’s worse, as you’ve doubtlessly been told by people who wouldn’t know the truth if it bit them on their brazen bottoms, is that the woman was great with child, and she was forced by my heartless actions to have her child out among the animals. Well, I am here to set the record straight, I tell you!
       I remember that night well. We were crowded. Crowded to the rafters. See, Caesar Augustus had send out orders that everyone had to return to their hometown so that they could be counted and taxed. I have no idea why he required everyone to return to their hometown. I hear tell that it was because Rome was overflowing with everyone except Romans so Caesar and the Roman Senate thought they could empty the streets of the riffraff and have the steam houses and baths to themselves. Didn’t work, of course, since they hadn’t considered all the Romans who would be returning to Rome due to the decree, Romans who had picked up all sorts of barbarian ways. Typical of government to create a new problem while attempting to fix an old one.
       So we were crowded. Why, people were sleeping six to a bed and ten to a pallet. And they were paying through the nose — I mean, paying a competitive reasonable price. Our wine was flowing like water — not that it’s watered down. That’s another rumor spread by Nero. Nero owns the Seven Seas Inn in Bethlehem and likes to boast of his salad dressing. It is good, but otherwise, his food isn’t fit to serve to a sickly slave. You have to know the town was crowded when I tell you that even the Seven Seas was full up.
       We were busy, and to my regret, I had to turn people away. The bedrooms, the main room, the servants’ holes, everywhere we had people. I was bringing another amphora of wine to a table of particularly thirsty Greeks when Dora Ruth, one of our serving girls, yelled, “Keloe, there’s someone at the door. Wants a room. I says we ain’t got none, but he wants to talk to you.”
       “Tell him to go away!” I yelled back, but she had bustled back to the kitchen. As I threaded my way through the crowd, I tried to figure out one more place to put some people. And to my eternal credit, I considered the outhouse only for a moment. Or two. Not long.
       I went to the open door, intending to send whoever it was quickly on their way because I was too busy to bother with people who would not be crossing my palm with coin.
       “On your way,” I told the young man. “We have no room.”
       “Sir, please,” the man pleaded. “My wife ...” He motioned behind him, and I noticed her. A pretty young girl, clearly with child, sat wearily on a small, run-down donkey.
       “No room,” I said again.
       “Surely there’s somewhere!” the man insisted.
       I pulled my stomach up. “There is no room. Go on down the road. Try Nero’s.” I eyed their clothes. “You look their type.”
       The donkey, probably hungry, brayed and headed toward our stable. Then I got a great idea. “You can stay in our stable if you’d like,” I said. “But at full price.”
       The man agreed gratefully and turned to his wife.
       I yelled for the stable boy. “Gregor, take these people to the stable. We have no room here.”
       The dimwit boy rolled his eyes at me, but he did what he was told. I closed the door, nodding in satisfaction. My good wife Sapphira would be pleased with the extra coin. I spent the rest of the night, carrying wine back and forth, breaking up disagreements, and generally working myself to the very bone.
       So you understand now that sending them to the stable was all I could do. There was no room in our inn. And much later I would realize there was no room in our hearts, either.
       The next day, after the couple had left, I learned all sorts of crazy things happened at the stable the night before. The baby was born, shepherds and their flocks showed up to worship him, and Magi from the East came galloping up on their camels. I was told angels appeared, and a huge star shone overhead. I can’t vouch for all of this, but I know the sheep and camels were there because they left evidence, if you know what I mean.
       And there’s this: All those who saw the child had their lives changed. My stable boy and one of my serving girls, my cook, the shepherds, the Magi, all of them were changed.
       But not me. I never saw the child.
       No, I stayed inside serving my customers, fetching wine and roasted meats, praising the drunken Roman soldiers and the educated Greeks. My wife and I went to bed late that night, pleased with the coins we had earned, delighted with the good life they would purchase for us.
       The next day the couple departed, going on to the home of their relatives they told my stable boy. The man actually gave Gregor a gold coin! Where did he get gold? They looked so poor.
       My wife said I should be happy. We made money. That’s what counts, she said. And we do have money. Our inn has flourished during the thirty or so years since that night. I have many servants and slaves. I have everything this world can offer. But I am empty. I am hollow. My soul cries out for more.
       So today I am traveling with you and all these other pilgrims to hear the words of this new prophet. This Jesus who heals the sick and raises the dead and offers living water. I tell you, my friend, I am determined I will be empty no more.

Copyright 2011 by Stephen B. Bagley. All rights reserved. Excerpted from Tales from Bethlehem. All rights reserved. No copying without express written permission from the author and publisher.
********************
See you tomorrow!

HSCC 2011.19: Anti-Customer Service Tips

2011-12-19T14:16:00.003-06:00

And now, for the 19th day of the Harbor Street Christmas Celebration 2011, we're going to share a few Customer Service Tips that will doubtlessly help you during these holiday shopping days if you work retail or in any other way interact with the public.

From The Anti-Customer Service Training Manual

Customer Service Tip #13: Not only is the customer not always right, sometimes they are batweasel crazy. When this happens, take a deep breath and remember they're not worth you going to prison.

Customer Service Tip #56: It's not your customer's fault he/she is loathsome. That's what happens when first cousins marry. Be kind.

Customer Service Tip #87: I don't care what Willy in Receiving says; drinking when you're busy on your job is a bad thing. For one thing, you might get fired ... Wait, let me think about this some more.

Customer Service Tip #134: In most social circles, it's considered impolite to leap the service counter and snatch your customer baldheaded. Remember this, and you'll be welcome everywhere.

Customer Service Tip #159: If the customer has money and you'll do anything to get it, this means conventional wisdom is wrong: Customer service IS the oldest profession in the world.

Customer Service Tip #176: Bad breath and body odor will only drive away the most sensitive customers. It's not worth the risk of tooth decay and disease. So go ahead and brush your teeth and shower once in a while. Deodorant is, of course, optional.

Customer Service Tip #211: Bitterness is never attractive. Learn to fake sincerity, and your customers will love you until you turn on them like a mad badger and gnaw their legs off.

Customer Service Tip #236: Never tell a customer you're going to have him/her hunted down and killed in the street like a dog. It will upset them. No, let it be a total surprise when it happens.

Copyright 20011 by Stephen B. Bagley. Excerpted from The Anti-Customer Service Training Manual. All rights reserved.

*******************

See you tomorrow!

HSCC 2011.18: DANGER! DANGER!

2011-12-18T18:47:00.000-06:00

For the 18th of the Harbor Street Christmas Celebration, we talk of the dangers of Christmas crafting ... with me.
******************
Danger During the Holidays!

By Stephen B. Bagley

      It was a few days before Christmas last year, and I was talking to Linda on the phone. "Do you want to come over and help me with my Christmas crafts?" I asked.
      "Good heavens, NO!" she shouted. "I'd rather strip naked and run through a rose garden that's been sprayed with lemon juice."
      "What time will you be here?" I asked.
      "I'd rather to be strapped to the speakers at a bagpipe concert," she said.
      "Is that yes or no?" I asked. "I don't understand."
      "You're not trying to," she said. "Rather than crafting with you, I'd sit through the presidental debates again! Sober!"
      "I'm beginning to get the odd feeling that you might perhaps be reluctant," I said. "Why is that?"
      "Because it's dangerous," she said. "People get hurt when you do crafts."
      I sighed. "Is Adam complaining about his eyebrows again?"
      "Stephen, they fell off!"
      "Actually, they peeled off," I said. "And I told him not to stand over the chemicals when we were etching glass. Well, I meant to tell him."
      "And about Cynthia?"
      "That was an accident," I said. "I had no idea enough paint fumes had accumulated to explode. But she'll be out of the bodycast in a couple of month. Personally, I think she's enjoying the rest despite her threats and the attempts to have me snuffed."
      "Yes, there's nothing more restful than having nurses turn you every hour and orderlies feed you through a straw," Linda said.
      "So you'll come over?" I asked.
      "Not that I'm agreeing, but what exactly are you going to be doing?"
      "Just papercraft," I said. "There's nothing dangerous in papercraft. We'll be tearing up paper and mixing the pieces with water and a few chemicals, most of which aren't toxic."
      "Well, I guess ... What do you mean most?! she snapped. "No, no, NO! Papercraft is out."
      "We could make Christmas candles," I said. "Those make good gifts."
      "Didn't you have a wax explosion a couple of months ago?" she asked.
      "No one was seriously hurt, and my kitchen has already been repaired," I said. "If I could find my cat, everything would be fine. I tried to follow the smoke trail she left, but the wind was high and I lost her around Oak Street."
      "No candles," she said firmly. "Don't you do wooden projects?"
      I used to," I said. "But the police took away my electric saw after that regrettable incident when I was trying to help those nuns repair a pew and I sneezed."
      "Oh, yeah, I forgot," she said. "Do you still get hate mail from Sister Mary Margaret?"
      "Just hate postcards now," I said. "I think she's getting over her anger. I hope so. It can't be good for her spiritual growth."
      "What about painting?" she suggested. "I mean, watercolor painting. Yeah, watercolors are safe. I couldn't get hurt doing watercolors."
      "Okay, we'll do that," I said happily. "Come on over."
      Later that night as we huddled under a blanket provided by the fire department, she glared at me. "How oh how did the watercolors catch fire?!" she asked.
      "Well, I thought they looked a little thick," I said. "So I thought I'd try thinning them with alcohol."
      She didn't say anything.
      "I think short hair is a good look for you," I said brightly.
      Fortunately they were able to pull her off me before she could finish choking me. Because she's a friend, I didn't press charges.

Copyright 2010 by Stephen B. Bagley. Excerpted from Floozy & Other Stories. All rights reserved. No copying without express prior written permission from the author and publisher.
******************

See you tomorrow!

HSCC 2011.17: December darkness

2011-12-17T11:35:00.011-06:00

For the 17th day of the Harbor Street Christmas Celebration 2011, I want to talk about December darkness. I struggle with it. I know many people do.

It annoys me that depression doesn't leave us alone at the holidays. One of the reasons I try to celebrate Christmas with such abandon is to hold off the gloom. So I buy presents, put up lights, decorate my tree, display my Christmas village, send Christmas cards, watch Christmas specials, go watch Christmas choirs and plays, and generally make myself too busy to think about failures and losses. Yes, I know, not very Christmasy, but true nonetheless.

I know people who dislike the holidays because it reminds them of what they don't have, be it loving family or someone who passed on or the money to buy their kids the latest gadgets. A friend of mine who lost her mother at Christmas many years ago still holds Christmas responsible. She doesn't celebrate it. In fact, she hates it. I mostly avoid her during this time of year, or if I see her, I make sure we discuss everything except Christmas. And my Christmases are less because both of my parents are gone now. I feel their loss keenly during the holidays.

During the holidays, I try to avoid people who enjoy sharing their misery. I have friends who have made discouragement into their daily diet. They say they don't want to bring anyone else down, but they do. Oh, they're funny and cynical and modern, but I have to stay away from them because my darkness doesn't need feeding. Maybe the difference is -- or the reason why they can be so cynical without it affecting them -- is my darkness has teeth. It's hurt me both physically and mentally in the past. While I'm miles away from that bleak point now, I'm still close enough to see how easy it would be to fall into the abyss.

So I celebrate Christmas. That one light in the darkness, the lowly manger, the Child King. There's a lot of hope in that stable if you can make it past all the things we put in front of it. An abundance of joy. A promise of a better day dawning. And a glorious star to raise our gaze to the heavens above. Bear with me if you think I overdo Christmas and remember why. And if you want to join me, then come on. Together we'll have a great holiday despite ourselves.

Talk to you tomorrow.

Oakleaf Harbor Christmas Cards now on sale!
Buy Floozy and Other Stories at Amazon.com
Buy Floozy and Other Stories at Barnes&Noble.com
Buy Floozy and Other Stories in paperback at Lulu.com
Buy Floozy and Other Stories in hardcover at Lulu.com
Buy Murder by Dewey Decimal at Amazon.com
Buy Murder by Dewey Decimal at Barnes&Noble.com
Buy Murder by Dewey Decimal at BooksAMillion.com
Buy Murder by Dewey Decimal at Lulu.com
Buy Murder by the Acre at Amazon.com
Buy Murder by the Acre at Barnes&Noble.com
Buy Murder by the Acre at BooksAMillion.com
Buy Murder by the Acre in soft cover at Lulu.com
Buy Murder by the Acre in hardcover at Lulu.com
Buy Floozy, MBTA & MBDD items and more at Oakleaf Harbor

HSCC 2011.16: Videos of truth

2011-12-16T11:27:00.001-06:00

It's the 16th day of the HSCC 2011! Today we share two videos that both speak to the truth of Christmas. Enjoy.
*****************

****************
See you tomorrow!

HSCC 2011.15: Prayers from the past

2011-12-15T11:16:00.017-06:00

For the 15th day of HSCC 2011, we offer several prayers from famous people.
***************
A Christmas Prayer

We thank you for this place in which we dwell,
for the love that unites us,
for the peace accorded us this day,
for the hope with which we expect the morrow,
for the work, the health, the food,
and the bright skies which make our lives delightful
for our friends in all parts of the earth.

Robert Louis Stevenson (1850-1894)

Christmas Prayer of Pope John XXIII

O sweet Child of Bethlehem,
grant that we may share with all our hearts
in this profound mystery of Christmas.
Put into the hearts of men and women this peace
for which they sometimes seek so desperately
and which you alone can give to them.
Help them to know one another better,
and to live as brothers and sisters,
children of the same Father.
Reveal to them also your beauty, holiness and purity.
Awaken in their hearts
love and gratitude for your infinite goodness.
Join them all together in your love.
And give us your heavenly peace. Amen.

Pope John XXIII (1881-1963)

Nativity Prayer of St. Augustine

Let the just rejoice,
for their justifier is born.
Let the sick and infirm rejoice,
For their saviour is born.
Let the captives rejoice,
For their Redeemer is born.
Let slaves rejoice,
for their Master is born.
Let free men rejoice,
For their Liberator is born.
Let All Christians rejoice,
For Jesus Christ is born.

St. Augustine of Hippo (AD 354-440)

Christmas dinner prayer by Martin Luther

Ah, dearest Jesus, holy Child,
Make thee a bed, soft, undefiled,
Within my heart, that it may be
A quiet chamber kept for Thee.

My heart for very joy doth leap,
My lips no more can silence keep,
I too must sing, with joyful tongue,
That sweetest ancient song,

Glory to God in highest heaven,
Who unto man His Son hath given
While angels sing with pious mirth.
A glad new year to all the earth!

Martin Luther (1483-1546)
***************
Talk to you tomorrow!

Oakleaf Harbor Christmas Cards now on sale!
Buy Floozy and Other Stories at Amazon.com
Buy Floozy and Other Stories at Barnes&Noble.com
Buy Floozy and Other Stories in paperback at Lulu.com
Buy Floozy and Other Stories in hardcover at Lulu.com
Buy Murder by Dewey Decimal at Amazon.com
Buy Murder by Dewey Decimal at Barnes&Noble.com
Buy Murder by Dewey Decimal at BooksAMillion.com
Buy Murder by Dewey Decimal at Lulu.com
Buy Murder by the Acre at Amazon.com
Buy Murder by the Acre at Barnes&Noble.com
Buy Murder by the Acre at BooksAMillion.com
Buy Murder by the Acre in soft cover at Lulu.com
Buy Murder by the Acre in hardcover at Lulu.com
Buy Floozy, MBTA & MBDD items and more at Oakleaf Harbor

HSCC 2011.14: 12 Things Twice

2011-12-14T11:57:00.005-06:00

Welcome to the 14th day of the Harbor Street Christmas Celebration 2011! Today we share 12 Annoying Things and 12 Wonderful Things about Christmas. (Yes, somethings I get wound up about things. Bear with me.)
**************
12 Annoying Things about Christmas
1. People who talk about the commercialism of Christmas like they're being sophisticated. Look, back in the 1920s, they were bemoaning the commercial aspects of Christmas. It's nothing new. We live in a crass, profit-oriented society. Less than 48 hours after 9/11, companies were selling "commemorative" items. That's just the way some people are. Get over it. Don't give them any airtime. And don't use the commercialism of Christmas as an excuse for your lack of generosity. There are a lot of soup kitchens, homeless shelters and other charities that always need your help. Rather than just talk about how everyone has lost the true meaning of Christmas, why don't you go out there and show it to everyone.
      2. The whole Happy Holidays/Merry Christmas mess that has been reported exhaustedly by TV, newspaper and bloggers. Seriously, do you think saying Happy Holidays makes anyone forget it's Christmas? Do you think calling names and generally behaving like a jerk makes anyone feel like it's Christmas? Do I think it's right for retailers to remove mention of Christmas? No, but I don't expect retailers to spread the Gospel. Guess what? They're trying to make a living. If I don't like their policies, I don't have to shop with them. And I won't.
      3. People who get upset by Nativity scenes on public property. Don't they have any real problems? We've got starving, poor, homeless people who are sick and need help. We have children going to bed hungry in the United States. We have rampant drug use that is decimating our young people and draining society. And you want me to be upset because your poor little eyes were offended by a Nativity scene? What complete, utter nonsense. Our courts should be ashamed to even hear such cases.
      4. Anyone who doesn't give to a charity because they've decided that charities are corrupt. Here's a lesson in the real world, bucko: Charities are ran by people. Some people are corrupt. There will be corruption in any human endeavor. That's the way of the world. But you can do a bit of research and discover what charities give more of their donations to their causes. You can make sensible decisions about your charitable giving. But if you still want to hang onto your money, then once again, haul yourself to your nearest homeless shelter. Make the world a better place that way. Side note: I particularly detest people who decide that the homeless are lazy and deserve to starve. A lot of the homeless, a third at last count, are children below the age of eight. Exactly what did they do to deserve to starve? Another side note: Anyone who justifies not helping the poor because the Bible says the poor will always be with us should be beaten. I don't have words to express my contempt for that lazy, selfish, smug attitude. One last side note: If you're broke, you're broke. Give what you can when you can. We can only do what we can do. But we should do that.
      5. Rock, rap and pop stars who insist on singing carols but have to add their own special touch. While driving to work today, I heard a pop star sing Silent Night on the radio with many moans, ahhh's, soft sighs and general all-around grandstanding. I wasn't sure if she was singing a carol or giving a mating call. Then I heard a hard guitar version of Come All Ye, Faithful. I turned off the radio. I won't turn it back on until it's safe.
      6. People who sing the praises of snow. It's cold, wet, makes roads dangerous, kills animals and people. I rate it up there with the flu.
      7. Speaking of wet, cold and dangerous, why don't people slow down when it's icy? WHY? Four-wheel drive doesn't make you invulnerable, folks. SLOW DOWN.
      8. Any more animated specials about Santa's early life. We now have The Adventures of Santa, Young Santa Claus, The True Story of Santa Claus, Mrs. Claus, Santa and His Reindeer, Santa and the Magic Flute, The Year Without Santa Claus, etc. Next up: Santa VS. Alien and Santa and The Wise Guys. Enough already.
      9. Christmas cards without return addresses. Don't make me look it up. Put the return address on the envelope. That's all I'm asking.
      10. Surly clerks. I know your job isn't fun at the holidays. I'm sorry about that. But don’t take it out on me. It's not my fault. Just let me make my purchases and leave and no one gets hurt.
      11. Anyone who has to share the pagan origins of Christmas like they're imparting some new earthshaking wisdom. That's old news, folks. Not very interesting news at that. Recently a pastor I know spent his Sunday morning giving us the pagan putdown. I debated several times about walking out, but annoying good manners kept me in the pew listen to him babble on about what things meant centuries ago. It doesn't really matter what they thought in the 9th century. It matters what we think now.
      12. Bloggers that produce lists of things that annoy them about Christmas. That's the most annoying thing of all.
**************

12 Wonderful Things About Christmas
1. Presents. I like getting them. I like giving them. Here are some inexpensive gift ideas: Candles, candy bars, six-packs of favorite soft drinks, chocolate-chip cookies, small picture frames, bookmarks, Christmas ornaments, decorative computer printer paper, hand lotion, etc. We have a tendency to think that good presents have to cost a lot of money. They don't. Something to show that you're thinking of them this holiday season is all that is needed for your co-workers, friends, etc. It's not about the money.
  2. Lights. I love Christmas lights. I like to drive around my town and see all the displays. I appreciate the hard work that went into them. I like the way the way the lights gleam in the night. It's a metaphor for what Christmas really is about.
  3. Shopping. It's where I catch the bustle and hustle of the season. Yeah, it's hurried, and it makes my feet hurt. But I like thinking of people and what they might like.
  4. Christmas bags. Oh, I still wrap a few gifts, but otherwise, brightly colored bags have freed me of hours of wrapping.
  5. Carols. I like singing them. I like hearing them.
  6. Church and school Christmas children's programs. Nothing is as sweet or as funny. Makes my heart melt. No apologies for that.
  7. The way people will give more during this time to the needy. It's like we're reminded of how blessed we are and how much we really have. So we share. Some people say that it's guilt. I don't believe that's true for most of us. I believe it's compassion. It's where we show that we have incredible potential as a species. It's where we justify our existence.
  8. Food. I love turkey and dressing, pineapple adorned ham, fluffy garlic and chive mashed potatoes, fresh green salad, golden pumpkin pies … Hmmmmm ….
  9. Get-togethers with friends. We're all busy, we're all tired, we're all broke, but we all enjoy sharing time and raising a cup of cider together.
  10. Family time. They make me crazy at times, but I wouldn't give up any one of them. We're connected by blood and history. We're loud, opinionated, funny and brash. We love as hard as we fight. We're family. And that's that.
  11. Quiet, worshipful Midnight Masses and other church Christmas services. It's a time of quiet in this incredibly busy season. I remember sitting in the local Catholic Church at Midnight Night Mass a couple of Christmases ago as the day became new and listening to the silence between the prayers and songs. I felt renewed in spirit and grateful for the many undeserved blessings in my life.
  12. Nativity scenes. The heart of the mystery. The God coming to earth in the form of a babe. Remembrances that we were loved enough for someone to give up glory for us. The beginning of a journey that would change a world. A light in the darkness. A star in the ebony sky. A gift to humanity.
**************

See you tomorrow!

Oakleaf Harbor Christmas Cards now on sale!
Buy Floozy and Other Stories at Amazon.com
Buy Floozy and Other Stories at Barnes&Noble.com
Buy Floozy and Other Stories in paperback at Lulu.com
Buy Floozy and Other Stories in hardcover at Lulu.com
Buy Murder by Dewey Decimal at Amazon.com
Buy Murder by Dewey Decimal at Barnes&Noble.com
Buy Murder by Dewey Decimal at BooksAMillion.com
Buy Murder by Dewey Decimal at Lulu.com
Buy Murder by the Acre at Amazon.com
Buy Murder by the Acre at Barnes&Noble.com
Buy Murder by the Acre at BooksAMillion.com
Buy Murder by the Acre in soft cover at Lulu.com
Buy Murder by the Acre in hardcover at Lulu.com
Buy Floozy, MBTA & MBDD items and more at Oakleaf Harbor

HSCC 2011.13: The Star's Tale

2011-12-13T11:48:00.003-06:00

For the 13th day of the Harbor Street Christmas Celebration 2011,we share another Tale from Bethlehem. This tale definitely has a celestial perspective.
*************
Tales from Bethlehem:
The Star's Tale

By Stephen B. Bagley

      So I was hanging around the sky, when one of the Host appeared to me. I flared before I got control and dampened my corona. To say I was shocked was an understatement. I was a minor star, not one of the big reds or the blazing blue-whites. Bertha, a red supergiant in the system next to mine, liked to point out my complete insignificance in the general Scheme of Things. Bertha was older and positive that the whole shebang depended on her lighting the way.
      "You'll never be more than a dwarf," Bertha had told me more than once.
      "Ignore her," Clarence would tell me. Clarence was young, barely out of the nursery. He was blue-white and already carried a system larger than Bertha's.
      The seraphim drew close, its radiance overwhelming mine. "I am sent by the Source," she said calmly. "A great Task has been appointed unto you."
      The Messenger of the Source said the Source had asked that I Burn at a particular time to fulfill a portion of His mighty and unending work.
      "I am His to command," I said, frightened and puzzled. "But I have not the needed mass to Burn."
      "That which you need, you will be given," the seraphim said. She drew close to me. "Know you that The Rebel will oppose this. Be strong. Be steadfast. For the sake of love, the Source is bringing about a great work, and you have been Chosen to play a part. You are Blessed among the lights."
      "She smiled gently and went away, leaving me dazzled and dazed.
      "I can't believe she didn't talk to me!" Bertha fumed when she was certain the seraphim was gone. "I am more worthy!"
      "Congratulations," Clarence said, ignoring the big red. "It is a great honor."
      I was silent, thinking of the Source and what had been requested. Eons passed. The time approached for me to attempt to Burn -- even though I knew it was impossible.
      A Being approached me then. This one burned darkly, a rolling black nebula.
      "I am Serpenta," the Being said. "I greet you, little star."
      "I know who you are," I said, feeling my core quake. "Be gone. I will have traffic neither with you nor The Rebel."
      "Oh, little star, you wound me," Serpenta said. "I noticed your lovely light and came to bask in it. That is all." He paused. "I wanted to visit you before you Burned. It's a shame a beautiful star like you would be asked to do such a thing."
      "The Source asked me, and I am obedient," I said. "Depart."
      "Ah, but it wasn't the Source, was it?" Serpenta said. "He sent one of the Host, a lesser being to command you. If this is so important, why didn't He come Himself?"
      "He made me," I said. "I am His to command."
      "Of course, you are," Serpenta said, circling me in a lazy orbit. "And He did make you. But what has He done for you lately? Do you have children? Do you burn with fierce, fantastic heat? Do the comets give themselves to you in worship? No, my astra, no. He made and forgot you, just one among all the others. And now He seeks your Burning for the sake of tiny creatures that don't even worship Him."
      "What?" I gasped. "They don't worship Him?"
      "They are fallen," Serpenta said. "They ignore Him, they curse Him, they turn their backs to Him. To think that one as brilliant as you would be asked to make such a sacrifice just to mark His Son's birth! How dare He ask that of you!"
      "His Son's birth?!" Prominences flared across me.
      "Yes," Serpenta said. "He is allowing His Son to take the form of these worthless humans. He is heartlessly sending His Son away. You have no children worlds, no sister suns, nothing in the void, but if you had worlds, you would cherish them. You would give them light and heat, but He does not bless you, His faithful servant, while He blesses those who reject Him."
      "His Son," I breathed plumes of plasma, trying to understand why and how the Source would give up His Son.
      "Don't do it," Serpenta urged. "Don't give your approval to this folly. The humans are not worth a particle of your light." He drew close to me, his Being skimming my photosphere. "There is another Master in the sky," he whispered. "One who would reward you with children. Perhaps even a sister sun. You have everything to gain by refusing and everything to lose by obeying."
      "So your Master would give me all that I want?" I asked slowly.
      "Yes," Serpenta said.
      "And all I have to do ... is disobey the One who made me what I am!" I flared and sent out corona loops. My photosphere blazed and then darkened as I drew in my outer layers, pulling them toward my core.
      "You cannot Burn!" Serpenta roared, his black, jagged wings unfolding. "You will be nothing! You are wasting your light!"
      I did not respond. What I have, I give! I sent across the trackless void. What I am, is yours! And as the seraphim had promised, mass suddenly gathered in me, diving into my core, nuclear flames compressed into liquid fire, and then ...
      Then ...
      Then I Burned.
      My light surged into the void, a mighty river of gold, a glorious torrent that swept my unraveling essence beyond into the unbounded night.
      The Source turned and smiled at me. "Well done," He said, reaching forth His hand and cradling me.
      I fell into His limitless love.
      And that's how I became a seraphim. Sometimes I go by and see Clarence and Bertha. Clarence is always glad to see me. Bertha ... not so much.

Copyright 2010 by Stephen B. Bagley. All rights reserved. Excerpted from Tales from Bethlehem. No copying wthout express written permission from the publisher and author.
*************
See you tomorrow!

Oakleaf Harbor Christmas Cards now on sale!
Buy Floozy and Other Stories at Amazon.com
Buy Floozy and Other Stories at Barnes&Noble.com
Buy Floozy and Other Stories in paperback at Lulu.com
Buy Floozy and Other Stories in hardcover at Lulu.com
Buy Murder by Dewey Decimal at Amazon.com
Buy Murder by Dewey Decimal at Barnes&Noble.com
Buy Murder by Dewey Decimal at BooksAMillion.com
Buy Murder by Dewey Decimal at Lulu.com
Buy Murder by the Acre at Amazon.com
Buy Murder by the Acre at Barnes&Noble.com
Buy Murder by the Acre at BooksAMillion.com
Buy Murder by the Acre in soft cover at Lulu.com
Buy Murder by the Acre in hardcover at Lulu.com
Buy Floozy, MBTA & MBDD items and more at Oakleaf Harbor

HSCC 2011.12: Unusual 12 Days

2011-12-12T12:35:00.002-06:00

For the 12th day of the Harbor Street Christmas Celebration 2011, we share the 12 Days of Christmas from Straight No Chaser. And trust me, you haven't heard that song like this before!
************

************
See you tomorrow!

Oakleaf Harbor Christmas Cards now on sale!
Buy Floozy and Other Stories at Amazon.com
Buy Floozy and Other Stories at Barnes&Noble.com
Buy Floozy and Other Stories in paperback at Lulu.com
Buy Floozy and Other Stories in hardcover at Lulu.com
Buy Murder by Dewey Decimal at Amazon.com
Buy Murder by Dewey Decimal at Barnes&Noble.com
Buy Murder by Dewey Decimal at BooksAMillion.com
Buy Murder by Dewey Decimal at Lulu.com
Buy Murder by the Acre at Amazon.com
Buy Murder by the Acre at Barnes&Noble.com
Buy Murder by the Acre at BooksAMillion.com
Buy Murder by the Acre in soft cover at Lulu.com
Buy Murder by the Acre in hardcover at Lulu.com
Buy Floozy, MBTA & MBDD items and more at Oakleaf Harbor

HSCC 2011.11: The Clerk's Tale

2011-12-11T11:43:00.010-06:00

Welcome to the 11th day of the Harbor Street Christmas Celebration 2011! Today we feature another Tale from Bethlehem. My inspiration for this was James Bond, but it took, of course, a different twist.
***********
Tales from Bethlehem:
The Clerk's Tale

By Stephen B. Bagley

I was greasing a paving stone with bear fat when Glorick Translated to me. I didn’t acknowledge him. First, I checked to see if any humans had noticed his sudden appearance. If so, my lack of surprise would go far in convincing them that Glorick had simply walked up without them noticing him. Glorick rarely spent time directly interacting with humans. He was inclined to forget what was common for us was uncommon for them.

Fortunately humans are unobservant at the best of times, and today was not best for the people of Bethlehem. The small town stretched at its seams as former residents returned to be taxed according to the decree of Augustus Caesar. None noticed Glorick’s arrival. For that matter, only a few had noticed me in the shadows of the alley by Keloe’s Inn, and they soon forgot.

“I have faith in you,” he finally said.

I straightened and wiped my hands on an old rag. “Thank you,” I said, but I did not think he had Translated from the Realm to tell me of his faith in me.

“I do not doubt Him,” Glorick said. “I have never doubted Him or His choices.” He fell silent.

I rubbed the back of my human form. It was noon, and my body felt the need for refreshment. Too bad coffee wouldn’t be available for a couple more millennia.

“Is the choir ready?” I asked.

“Yes,” he said absently. Obviously he had more on his mind, but Glorick could not be hurried. He was one of the lesser of the Great, but Great nonetheless, and I was not. At best, I was a clerk in the Host. Naturally that was not what I was, but my humanity now influenced me. That description was close enough.

“Are you ready?” he asked.

“Nearly,” I said. “I must move new straw into the manger.”

He looked at me. “That was not in the plan.”

“No,” I said. “But it is a good thing. I will also remove any thistles or thorns in it.” Silence again.

“You have always done what was asked of you with precision,” Glorick said abruptly. “And you have learned and accepted what wisdom I can share with grace and forbearance. I recognize you have been a wise steward of the Gifts imparted to you.” He paused, obviously struggling to articulate his words in this limited human language.

Finally it dawned on me. He was worried about me! Our human forms carry with them many things, not the least is the full range of emotions, good and bad.

I bowed my head. “Your words mean much to me,” I said. “You lift me up when I myself have wondered why I was Chosen for this Task.” I raised my head. “I am less than the lesser.”

“He does not think such,” Glorick said. “Or He would not give the protection of His Son unto you.”

Finally I asked the question that had burned in me since I had received this Task from Gabriel. “Why was I Chosen? I have not the skills of Michael or Ariel or yourself.”

“Do you doubt Him?” Glorick asked sternly.

“No,” I said with more certainty than I felt.

“Then you were Chosen for this Task because you are suited to it,” Glorick said. His face softened. “Remember He is fond of using the weak to confound the mighty. Do not doubt this.”

I slowly nodded. If I truly trusted Him, then I had to believe I was part of His plan. Trust is as trust does, paraphrasing one of my favorite human quotes.

Glorick surprised me then. He reached out and grasped my shoulder, using human touch to reassure me. Tears sprang to my all-too-mortal eyes. He smiled at me and Translated away.

I replaced the old fodder in the manger with fresh, clean straw and did the same with the pile outside. I cleaned the lantern and trimmed the wick. I moved the insects and vermin away. I calmed the animals who could sense the tremendous change approaching the world. I moved a cart of animal dung near the inn and weakened its axle. I loosed three tiles on inn’s roof.

And I waited for Herod’s assassin to arrive.

The day became night; angels sang in the hills; wise men followed a glorious star; a babe’s cry sounded in the cold clear night. Creation changed. Still I waited.

She arrived before the assassin did. I smelled her first, the odor of old blood and bitterness. I turned. She wore the guise of one of Herod’s many women. She was beautiful poison, one of the Great of the Fallen.

“You?” she said contemptuously. “One such as you was sent to oppose me?”

I did not rise to her question. The Fallen prey upon anger.

Behind her, I saw the assassin creep along the street.

“He has killed many men,” she said. “I convinced Herod to send this killer into the streets tonight in case those so-called wise men fail us.” She spat to the side. “He will slay all newborns he can find. And there in a manger he will end this before it is begun. What do you think of that?”

I smiled. “I do not doubt Him or His ways.”

“The greatest mistake of the Host is its blind loyalty!”

“The greatest failure of the Fallen was its lack thereof.”

The dark-clothed assassin reached the side of the inn.

“Soon,” she breathed. “Soon!”

The assassin stepped forward. His foot slipped on the paving stone, his hand reached out and grasped the cart, its wheel gave away, he fell down, the cart’s contents emptying on him. The tongue of the cart flew up and hit the eave of the inn. The assassin broke free of his noxious covering. He stood just as the roof tiles fell, one after another, onto his head. He collapsed.

“No!” she hissed. “No!” Her delicate fingers lengthened into black talons. “I will end you and the babe now!” Her skin writhed as she sloughed away her humanity.

I didn’t move, but I let my faith in Him, my love for Him, and my trust in Him shine through my eyes.

“You could try,” I said. “You will not survive the attempt.”

She took a step toward me. I waited.

“You’ve planned for this,” she said.

I remained silent.

She looked around, her lips curling in disgust. “There will be another time.” She folded in on herself and was gone.

I released a breath I didn’t realize I was holding. I felt another presence behind me.

“Glorick,” I said. “Thank you.”

He stepped out of the shadows. He held a huge sword.

“I was not needed,” he said. “Forgive me for doubting you.” He paused for a moment and then looked at me. “Did you plan for one of the Fallen?”

“I will next time.”

He laughed. “Well done, Micah. Well done.”

We drew close and watched as wise men and shepherds worshipped our newly born King.

Copyright 2011 by Stephen B. Bagley. All rights reserved. Excerpted from Tales from Bethlehem. No copying without express written permission from the publisher and the author.
***********
Talk to you tomorrow!

Oakleaf Harbor Christmas Cards now on sale!
Buy Floozy and Other Stories at Amazon.com
Buy Floozy and Other Stories at Barnes&Noble.com
Buy Floozy and Other Stories in paperback at Lulu.com
Buy Floozy and Other Stories in hardcover at Lulu.com
Buy Murder by Dewey Decimal at Amazon.com
Buy Murder by Dewey Decimal at Barnes&Noble.com
Buy Murder by Dewey Decimal at BooksAMillion.com
Buy Murder by Dewey Decimal at Lulu.com
Buy Murder by the Acre at Amazon.com
Buy Murder by the Acre at Barnes&Noble.com
Buy Murder by the Acre at BooksAMillion.com
Buy Murder by the Acre in soft cover at Lulu.com
Buy Murder by the Acre in hardcover at Lulu.com
Buy Floozy, MBTA & MBDD items and more at Oakleaf Harbor

HSCC 2011.10: Haha & Good Eatin'

2011-12-10T22:53:00.008-06:00

For the 10th day of the Harbor Street Christmas Celebration 2011, we have a joke and more recipes!
**********
A Christmas Joke

Three men died on Christmas Eve and were met by Saint Peter at the pearly gates. St. Peter said, "In honor of the season, you must each possess something that symbolizes Christmas to get into heaven."

The first man fumbled through his pockets and pulled out a lighter. He flicked it on. "It represents a candle," he said.

"You may pass through the pearly gates," St. Peter said.

The second man reached into his pocket and pulled out a set of keys. He shook them and said, "They're bells."

St. Peter said, "You may pass through the pearly gates."

The third man started searching desperately through his pockets and finally pulled out a pair of women's panties.

St. Peter looked at the man with a raised eyebrow and asked, "And just what do those symbolize?"

The man replied, "These are Carol's."
**********
Michelle's Recipes

Michelle posted these delicious recipes in the 2006 HSCC. They're tasty enough to share again!

Potato Cheese Soup

5 lbs Potatoes peeled, washed and cubed
1 white Onion chopped
1/2 stick of butter
Milk
White pepper and salt to taste
Chicken bouillon to taste (I usually use 2 large cubes)
4-8 oz Velveeta (depending on how cheesy you want it)
Cheddar cheese
Parmesan

Saute onion in butter until transparent. Fill pot with potatoes and water just to cover. Add sauted onion, salt and pepper and bouillon. Bring to a boil and let simmer until potatoes are tender. Add Milk until broth looks creamy. Simmer for another ten minutes. Add Velveeta and Parmesan until melted. Add cheddar before serving (so as not to curdle the cheese). Serve with some fresh baked bread and a salad. Yum!

Snickerdoodles

This recipe says it makes 4 dozen but I usually get about 6 dozen.

1 1/2 cups sugar
1 stick margarine or butter
1/2 cup shortening
2 large eggs
2 1/2 cups flour
2 ts cream of tartar
1 ts baking soda
1/4 ts salt
cinnamon/sugar mixture (set aside)
1/4 cup sugar
2 teaspoons cinnamon

Heat oven to 400. Cream butter, eggs, shortening and sugar. Add flour, cream of tartar, salt and baking soda to form dough. Roll into 1 inch balls and roll in the cinnamon sugar mixture to coat. Bake 8-10 minutes. I usually under-cook them a little to keep them softer longer. I like my cookies chewy.

Refrigerator Fudge

If you aren't into candy baking like me, then this is a great way to get creamy fudge in just a couple easy peasy steps.

2 pkgs semi sweet chocolate chips
2 cans sweetened condensed milk

Mix both ingredient in a microwaveable bowl. Microwave in 3 minute increments to ensure that you don't scorch the mixture. Once it is thoroughly melted and mixed, pour into a glass baking dish (greased with cocoa powder to prevent sticking) and put in the fridge. In a couple hours, you have rich and creamy fudge.
You can sprinkle the top with crushed candy canes, nuts or broken up candy bars to make it look festive.
**********
See you tomorrow!

Oakleaf Harbor Christmas Cards now on sale!
Buy Floozy and Other Stories at Amazon.com
Buy Floozy and Other Stories at Barnes&Noble.com
Buy Floozy and Other Stories in paperback at Lulu.com
Buy Floozy and Other Stories in hardcover at Lulu.com
Buy Murder by Dewey Decimal at Amazon.com
Buy Murder by Dewey Decimal at Barnes&Noble.com
Buy Murder by Dewey Decimal at BooksAMillion.com
Buy Murder by Dewey Decimal at Lulu.com
Buy Murder by the Acre at Amazon.com
Buy Murder by the Acre at Barnes&Noble.com
Buy Murder by the Acre at BooksAMillion.com
Buy Murder by the Acre in soft cover at Lulu.com
Buy Murder by the Acre in hardcover at Lulu.com
Buy Floozy, MBTA & MBDD items and more at Oakleaf Harbor

HSCC 2011.9: The Serving Girl's Story

2011-12-09T12:36:00.011-06:00

Welcome to the 9th day of the Harbor Street Christmas Celebration 2011! Today, we share another Tale from Bethlehem.
*********
Tales from Bethlehem:
The Serving Girl's Story

By Stephen B. Bagley

       It was the sheep. When they arrived, I knew something strange was going on. But I'm getting ahead of myself.
       My name is Galene, and I am a serving girl at Keloe's Inn. Let's get one thing out of the way up front: I serve wine and meat. That's all. Some men think a serving girl is a Roman tart. That may be so for some -- not to name names because I don't gossip, but Florence at Nero's Inn of the Seven Seas has such things said about her and not just by me -- but I hold onto my honor. My boyfriend Gregor will marry me as soon as we have enough coin to start us in a trade.
       Gregor is tall and lanky and sweet. He takes a bath once a month whether he needs it or not. I admit I sometimes have to provide the desire for his bath, but I figure that's my job as his intended. I should keep him clean and sober. He will make a good father for our nine children even though he seems to stutter a lot when I mention that. I hope the children don't inherit that or his nose. Really, his nose is fine, but his face is too small for that nose. That nose needs a large face. Like the side of a mountain, for instance. But I love everything about him, including his stuttering and beak.
       It had been a busy night. Our inn was rafter deep with villagers and travelers. The Roman Emperor Caesar Augustus had said that everyone had to return to her or his native village so that they could be counted and taxed. Yes, I know it makes no sense since people could be counted and taxed anywhere, but that's what he said. Like most men, he needs to get a good woman to guide him.
       So our inn in Bethlehem was packed. The other serving girl Dora Ruth and I never got a chance to rest our feet as we delivered platters of roasted lamb, roasted beef, roasted goose, and roasted eel to our loud patrons. (Linos, our cook, would roast the wine if he could.)
       "Galene, where is that dimwit?" the same such cook hollered at me.
       I glanced around the common room. Gregor was nowhere to be seen. In fact, I hadn't seen him since Keloe sent him to show some people to our stable. Our rooms were full, but leave it to Keloe to figure out a way to make a few more coins. He had rented this young couple one of our stable stalls, supposedly because the woman was about to give birth, but it was really for the coins. The man would steal the gold from his dead grandmother's eyes if he could.
       "I need him to get a cask for me," Linos said. "Find him and tell him to get back to work!"
       I nodded, not wanting to bellow above the crowd like a common fishwife. I snatched a hunk of bread and a bunch of grapes and hide them in my skirt. My dimwit -- Gregor, I mean, would appreciate the food.
       Outside the cold air was a relief. A thousand stars lit up the night. One seemed to dance in the sky above me. I had never seen anything like it, but I didn't spend much time looking at the heavens. There were too many things that needed to be done here on the ground.
       I heard a noise. Gregor was standing outside the stable.
       "There you are," I said. "What are you up to? You have cook so mad --"
      "Shh," he said, reaching out and taking my hand.
       “Now, I done told you that you won't be getting no sweetness from me until we're wed so --"
       "Be quiet," he said. "Listen. Listen."
       I stood there silent for a few moments. The night seemed full of strange meaning, like a dream where things make sense but you can't explain afterwards.
       "What are we listening for?" I asked quietly.
       "For the world to change," he said.
       From inside the stable came a baby's first cry.
       It's a sweet sound, that first cry, my mother always said. It's when you know those months of worry are over and then you can put those fears aside ... and shoulder new ones, she always added, with a mock glare at me and my sisters.
       I looked at Gregor. His eyes were wet, and he seemed overwhelmed. Obviously he would of no use when our children were born, not that men ever are. They always act like they've done something important when a baby is born even though women do all the work.
       I patted his hand. "Babies come all the time, dear. You need to get back in there before Linos comes looking for you."
       "Can't you feel it?" he asked, his voice filled with awe.
       "Maybe you should sit down for a moment," I said, leading him over to a bench. "I think cook has hit you on the head a few too many times. Here." I handed him the bread and the grapes. "You'll feel better after you eat."
       He nodded and started chewing. I stood off to the side, watching the star. It was so bright that as I got my night eyes, I could see clearly. Even though my breath came out in clouds, I didn't feel cold. I had got too hot in the inn, I thought. Keloe needed to put in some windows. It would help the smell, too.
       Something nudged my rear. "Stop it," I said, not turning around.
       Another nudge. "Gregor, that's enough," I snapped. "If you feel good enough to be handsey, you feel good enough to work --"
       The nudge became a push, and I fell. I rolled over, furious. I stared at the determined face of a sheep.
       "You -- ewe!" I sputtered.
       Gregor was laughing as he came over and helped me up.
       "It was being baaaaaad," he said.
       "Oh, stop it," I snapped. Everywhere I looked, I could see sheep, walking quietly toward the stable. Gregor and I moved in front of them, pushed by a tide of small, smelly bodies.
       "Where is the babe?"
       For a startled moment, I thought one of the sheep had spoken, but then I saw several shepherds, moving among their flocks.
       "Babe?" I asked stupidly.
       "We were in the fields, watching our flocks," another shepherd said. "And then ..." His voice trailed away.
       Another shepherd took up his words. "And then ... an angel appeared. And spoke to us."
       The first man said, "It said, 'Fear not: for behold, I bring you great tidings of great joy, which shall be to all people. For unto you is born this day in the city of David a Savior which is Christ the Lord. And this shall be a sign unto you: Ye shall find the babe wrapped in swaddling clothes, lying in a manger.'"
       The men all nodded. They didn't seem crazy. Well, not too crazy.
       "He's in there," Gregor said, pointing to the stable.
       The men came forward. One of them stopped and said to me, "And then the heavens were filled with angels. And they said, 'Glory to God in highest and on earth peace, good will toward men.'" His tears glistened in the starlight. He walked on.
       Gregor pulled me after them. I followed him reluctantly, somehow afraid of what I would see. I felt my breath coming in gasps. I stopped moving, resisting Gregor, resisting what lay ahead.
       "Don't be afraid," Gregor said, holding my hand. "You have only joy to gain." He looked at me as I stood there. "Or I can walk you back to the inn, if that's what you want."
       "But you'll come back here, won't you?" I asked. "You won't stay with me."
       He didn't reply, but I knew the answer. I could feel Gregor changing in some way that I didn't understand. Either I changed with him, or I would lose him.
       My heart felt heavy, but I squared my shoulders and walked to the stable to make my way inside. The shepherds were gathered around a woman and man. Moving closer, I could see a newborn, wrapped in swaddling clothes, lying in a manger.
       I took a deep breath. This was all? It was just a babe. I couldn't understand what all the commotion was about ... and then the babe turned His tiny head and looked at me, His clear blue eyes meeting mine for a moment. A moment that stretched into eternity and beyond and the heaviness fell away and my soul filled with such possibilities and such joy that I couldn't keep myself from laughing like I hadn't laughed since I was a child or maybe ever.
       Although many years have passed since that night, I tell you now that He knew me and smiled at me, the serving girl.
       I don't know if the world changed then, as Gregor said, but I know I did.

Excerpted from Tales from Bethlehem. Copyright 2010 by Stephen B. Bagley. All rights reserved. No copying without express written permission from the author and publisher.
*********
See you tomorrow!

Oakleaf Harbor Christmas Cards now on sale!
Buy Floozy and Other Stories at Amazon.com
Buy Floozy and Other Stories at Barnes&Noble.com
Buy Floozy and Other Stories in paperback at Lulu.com
Buy Floozy and Other Stories in hardcover at Lulu.com
Buy Murder by Dewey Decimal at Amazon.com
Buy Murder by Dewey Decimal at Barnes&Noble.com
Buy Murder by Dewey Decimal at BooksAMillion.com
Buy Murder by Dewey Decimal at Lulu.com
Buy Murder by the Acre at Amazon.com
Buy Murder by the Acre at Barnes&Noble.com
Buy Murder by the Acre at BooksAMillion.com
Buy Murder by the Acre in soft cover at Lulu.com
Buy Murder by the Acre in hardcover at Lulu.com
Buy Floozy, MBTA & MBDD items and more at Oakleaf Harbor

HSCC 2011.8: The Factoids Invade

2011-12-08T23:24:00.001-06:00

For the 8th day of the Harbor Street Christmas Celebration 2011, we share 12 Factoids about Christmas.
********
12 Factoids about Christmas
1. One acre of living Christmas trees generates enough oxygen to meet the daily requirement for 18 humans. Approximately 1,000,000 acres are used to grow Christmas trees yearly.

2. The top six Christmas tree producing states are: Oregon, Michigan, Washington, Wisconsin, Pennsylvania and North Carolina. About 30,000,000 trees are harvested in an average year. Two to three Christmas trees are planted for every one harvested.

3. Mango and banana trees are Christmas symbols in India, where Christians use mango leaves for holiday decorations.

4. The poinsettia is named for the first U.S. ambassador to Mexico, botanist Joel Roberts Poinsett. Poinsett introduced the plant that would become known as poinsettia into the United States in 1829.

5. The word yule, from Middle English, means "to cry aloud."

6. More than 3 billion Christmas cards are mailed each year in the United States.

7. With some 50,000,000 copies sold so far and still climbing, Irving Berlin's "White Christmas," recorded in 1942 by Bing Crosby, is still the best-selling single in history.

8. Geographically speaking, the North Pole is the point on Earth that is the true top of the planet where all lines of longitude converge. The Geomagnetic North Pole is the point on the Earth that marks the northern focus of the geomagnetic field that surrounds the globe. It lies in Greenland, 78 degrees 30 minutes North, 69 degrees West. Compasses, however, point to the Magnetic North Pole, which is about 1,000 miles south of the geographic North Pole, near Ellef Ringness Island in northern Canada. A lesser-known North Pole, the Northern Pole of Inaccessibility, represents the furtherest point in all directions from any coastline. About 700 miles from the nearest land, this pole is located north of Alaska at 84 degrees 03 minutes North, 174 degrees 51 minutes West. By the way, illustrator Thomas Nast was the first to put Santa Clause's home at the North Pole. In 1882, he drew Santa sitting on a box labeled, "Christmas Box 1882, St. Nicholas, North Pole."

9. There are about 5,000,000 reindeer in the world. They are threatened by habitat loss and global warming and are seeing their population drop yearly.

10. Making popcorn garlands is one of the few Christmas traditions born in the United States.

11. The post office handles more than 70,000 letters each year addressed to Santa at the North Pole.

12. The Twelve Days of Christmas traditionally started on Christmas. Many European counties still keep this tradition, particularly parts of Spain and France.
Sources: The Christmas Almanac, The National Arbor Day Foundation, The Association of Popcorn Producers, The United States Postal Service and MTV News.
********
See you tomorrow!

Oakleaf Harbor Christmas Cards now on sale!
Buy Floozy and Other Stories at Amazon.com
Buy Floozy and Other Stories at Barnes&Noble.com
Buy Floozy and Other Stories in paperback at Lulu.com
Buy Floozy and Other Stories in hardcover at Lulu.com
Buy Murder by Dewey Decimal at Amazon.com
Buy Murder by Dewey Decimal at Barnes&Noble.com
Buy Murder by Dewey Decimal at BooksAMillion.com
Buy Murder by Dewey Decimal at Lulu.com
Buy Murder by the Acre at Amazon.com
Buy Murder by the Acre at Barnes&Noble.com
Buy Murder by the Acre at BooksAMillion.com
Buy Murder by the Acre in soft cover at Lulu.com
Buy Murder by the Acre in hardcover at Lulu.com
Buy Floozy, MBTA & MBDD items and more at Oakleaf Harbor

HSCC 2011.7: A dangerous feline

2011-12-07T14:08:00.006-06:00

And for our 7th day of the Harbor Street Christmas Celebration 2011, we share the story of "Santa Claws."
*****

That is one cat that wouldn't survive the season with me! Although I could like to see Simon's Cat vs. the Angry Birds. That would be a match-up.
*****
See ya tomorrow!

Oakleaf Harbor Christmas Cards now on sale!
Buy Floozy and Other Stories at Amazon.com
Buy Floozy and Other Stories at Barnes&Noble.com
Buy Floozy and Other Stories in paperback at Lulu.com
Buy Floozy and Other Stories in hardcover at Lulu.com
Buy Murder by Dewey Decimal at Amazon.com
Buy Murder by Dewey Decimal at Barnes&Noble.com
Buy Murder by Dewey Decimal at BooksAMillion.com
Buy Murder by Dewey Decimal at Lulu.com
Buy Murder by the Acre at Amazon.com
Buy Murder by the Acre at Barnes&Noble.com
Buy Murder by the Acre at BooksAMillion.com
Buy Murder by the Acre in soft cover at Lulu.com
Buy Murder by the Acre in hardcover at Lulu.com
Buy Floozy, MBTA & MBDD items and more at Oakleaf Harbor

HSCC 2011.6: Ring ring ring

2011-12-06T22:33:00.003-06:00

For our 6th day of the Harbor Street Christmas Celebration 2011, we share the lyrics and a rendition of one of my favorite Christmas songs. It's beautiful, but I can tell you that it's hard to sing. I had to sing it in choir many years ago, and we all needed a shot of oxygen when we were finished.
*****
Carol of the Bells

Hark! how the bells, sweet silver bells
All seem to say, throw cares away.
Christmas is here, bringing good cheer
To young and old, meek and the bold
Ding, dong, ding, dong, that is their song,
With joyful ring, all caroling
One seems to hear words of good cheer
From everywhere, filling the air
O, how they pound, raising the sound
O’er hill and dale, telling their tale

Gaily they ring, while people sing
Songs of good cheer, Christmas is here!
Merry, merry, merry, merry Christmas!
Merry, merry, merry, merry Christmas!

On, on they send, on without end
Their joyful tone to every home
Hark! how the bells, sweet silver bells
All seem to say, throw cares away.
Christmas is here, bringing good cheer
To young and old, meek and the bold
Ding, dong, ding, dong, that is their song
With joyful ring, all caroling.
One seems to hear words of good cheer
From everywhere, filling the air
O, how they pound, raising the sound
O’er hill and dale, telling their tale

Gaily they ring, while people sing
Songs of good cheer, Christmas is here!
Merry, merry, merry, merry Christmas!
Merry, merry, merry, merry Christmas!

On, on they send, on without end
Their joyful tone to every home.
Ding dong ding dong

Here's a beautiful version.

*****
See you tomorrow!

Oakleaf Harbor Christmas Cards now on sale!
Buy Floozy and Other Stories at Amazon.com
Buy Floozy and Other Stories at Barnes&Noble.com
Buy Floozy and Other Stories in paperback at Lulu.com
Buy Floozy and Other Stories in hardcover at Lulu.com
Buy Murder by Dewey Decimal at Amazon.com
Buy Murder by Dewey Decimal at Barnes&Noble.com
Buy Murder by Dewey Decimal at BooksAMillion.com
Buy Murder by Dewey Decimal at Lulu.com
Buy Murder by the Acre at Amazon.com
Buy Murder by the Acre at Barnes&Noble.com
Buy Murder by the Acre at BooksAMillion.com
Buy Murder by the Acre in soft cover at Lulu.com
Buy Murder by the Acre in hardcover at Lulu.com
Buy Floozy, MBTA & MBDD items and more at Oakleaf Harbor

HSCC 2011.5: Delicious foods

2011-12-05T22:00:00.001-06:00

For the 5th day of the Harbor Street Christmas Celebration 2011, we share some tasty Recipes. Enjoy!
****
Recipes from my sister

Microwave fudge
1 box of powdered sugar
1/2 cup of cocoa
1 stick of butter
1/4 cup of milk
1/2 teaspoon of vanilla
1/3 cup of chopped nuts
Mix 1 box powdered sugar with ½ cup cocoa in a microwavable bowl. Put 1 stick of butter on top of powdered sugar/cocoa mix. Add ¼ cup milk.
Microwave 2 minutes on high. Stir and mix well. Add nuts and ½ teaspoon vanilla and stir. Spread on buttered plate. Refrigerate until set.

Mexican Comfort Soup
1 can of chicken broth
1 can of chicken
1 can of chopped tomatoes & mild green chilies
2 stalks of chopped celery
1 chopped medium sweet onion
1/2 bag of baby carrots, sliced thinly
1 teaspoon of butter
1 heaping teaspoon of flour
1 small can of mushrooms
Black pepper to taste

Put a small amount of olive oil in the bottom of a heavy skillet. Turn heat up to medium. Add onions, celery, and carrots. Cook until the onions are transparent. Put in large heavy pot. Add remaining ingredients. Cover and bring to a boil.

Add one teaspoon of butter to the first skillet. Melt butter, and then add a heaping teaspoon of flour. Cook flour until it begins to change color. Drain one small can of mushrooms. Pour the liquid into the skillet. Stir until smooth. Then pour the mixture and the mushrooms into the pot.
Turn the heat down to low. Replace the lid. The chilies will increase in heat the longer they cook, but you can add a small can of chopped green chilies. This will open your sinuses! You can replace the mushroom liquid with 1/4 cup of milk and then add a two-inch block of grated Velveeta cheese to the soup with the thickened roux. Tasty!

Graham Cracker Treat
2 sticks of butter
1 cup of brown sugar
1 cup of finely chopped nuts
1 teaspoon of vanilla
1 box of graham crackers

Mix together 2 sticks of butter and 1 cup of brown sugar. Bring to a boil on medium heat. Boil for 2 minutes. Add 1 cup finely chopped nuts and 1 teaspoon vanilla.
Lay graham crackers in a single layer on a cookie sheet with a ½ inch side. Pour the mixture over the crackers. Bake for 10 minutes in 350 degree oven. Break into pieces.

Baked Macaroni & Cheese
3 1/2 cups of elbow macaroni, about 6 cups, cooked
4 to 6 tablespoons of butter
2/3 cup of coarse bread crumbs
1 pound of shredded cheddar cheese
Salt and pepper to taste
1 cup of milk

Cook the macaroni, drain, and rinse with cold water. Grease the bottom and sides of a 2-quart dish with butter. Sprinkle with bread crumbs. Put in a layer of macaroni, sprinkle with cheese, dot with butter, salt and pepper. Repeat until all ingredients are used up, ending with a layer of cheese. Add milk.

Sprinkle a good layer of bread crumbs over the top. Dot with butter. Bake at 350 degrees for 35-40 minutes. Delicious!
****
And that's it for today! See you tomorrow.

Oakleaf Harbor Christmas Cards now on sale!
Buy Floozy and Other Stories at Amazon.com
Buy Floozy and Other Stories at Barnes&Noble.com
Buy Floozy and Other Stories in paperback at Lulu.com
Buy Floozy and Other Stories in hardcover at Lulu.com
Buy Murder by Dewey Decimal at Amazon.com
Buy Murder by Dewey Decimal at Barnes&Noble.com
Buy Murder by Dewey Decimal at BooksAMillion.com
Buy Murder by Dewey Decimal at Lulu.com
Buy Murder by the Acre at Amazon.com
Buy Murder by the Acre at Barnes&Noble.com
Buy Murder by the Acre at BooksAMillion.com
Buy Murder by the Acre in soft cover at Lulu.com
Buy Murder by the Acre in hardcover at Lulu.com
Buy Floozy, MBTA & MBDD items and more at Oakleaf Harbor

HSCC 2011.4: The Stable Boy's Tale

2011-12-04T22:08:00.002-06:00

For our fourth day of the Harbor Street Christmas Celebration 2011, we have a Tale from Bethlehem. This was the first tale and was published nearly ten years ago. Enjoy!
****
The Stable Boy's Tale
By Stephen B. Bagley

Now, of course, after all these years, I’ve heard the tale from other folks. It’s plain there be a few misconceptions about the whole happenin’ that I, Gregor Nikolas, intends to correct hereforth.

Let me start at the beginning with me being born. Perhaps that be too far back, but I won’t bore you with much detail other than to say that I was eighth in my family so it was no surprise when my pater forgot me at Keloe’s inn when I was seven. Keloe has gotten some bad jawing about him due to the events that I am about to relate, but truthfully he wasn’t a bad or cruel innkeeper. He washed his plates once a week even if they had been wiped clean by travelers, and made us all take baths once a month whether we needed them or not. Still he fed me and his other workers fair enough and let us sleep inside when it rained or snowed, so we could forgive his unnatural obsession with cleanliness.

That particular night we was full up. His mighty hineyness Augusta Caesar had ordered that all folks return to their birthing place so that they could be counted and taxed. Them Romans were good on taxing and on building roads and bridges, which was helpful since they had the personalities of old dead fishes — if fishes can carry swords and be pretty easy about swinging them in the vicinity of other folks’ necks.

Anyways, a lot of folks had returned to Bethlehem. Folks usually left Bethlehem when they was old enough to leave since it was a one-donkey town at that time and didn’t have much to keep someone down on the farm unless they was just partial to drudgery. Galene, my sweetie except when she’s got her temper up and then she don’t belong to the gods or any man, said we were going to leave as soon as we saved enough for passage to Rome. Rome was big city and sounded exciting except for having all those Romans there. Since folks left town as soon as able, there wasn’t much need for lots of extra rooms or inns for that matter. In fact, there were just three inns in town, if you counted ours twice and Nero’s Inn of the Seven Seas once. (They served an excellent salad dressing there.) So we was jam-packed with folks, so much so that I saw the fleas leaving.

I was out getting more water to water down the wine. The night was cold and clear. Away from the inn, it was as dark as a soldier’s heart. There, I got my first suspicion that somethin’ was up. No, really, somethin’ was up. A star as it were, shining pretty bright. In fact, as I stood there, I realized that it was almost bright enough to read if those folks who claim to be able to, really can and aren’t just foolin’ the rest of us.

I got the water out of the well, nearly freezing my hands off, which would have been fairly inconvenient and I’d have to become one of those beggars at the gates. ‘No Hands Gregor’ they would call me, I’d bet, and then Galene would come and see me and weep at her handsome man and cuddle me and hold me.

The cook yelled at me from the back door so I woke up from my daydreaming and took the water bucket over to him. He half-hearted cuffed me for taking so long, but I’m quick, and so he only hit the side of my head and hurt his hand badly.

I slipped past him and made my way to the common room which was filled with smoke and noise. Galene was serving some merchants some ale and trying to avoid their hands. She smiled at me and then frowned. She did that a lot. See me and think that she loved me and then see something on me that she needed to be changing, like me washing my hands or getting the manure off my feet. She also had an obsession about cleanliness. I just hoped it wasn’t catchin’.

Keloe hollered at me. He was standing at the door, letting in the cold or perhaps letting it out. It was hard to tell.

“Take these people to the stable,” Keloe said. “We have no room here.”

A man stood there. His clothes were simple but clean. Behind him patiently stood a donkey on which was a woman who was, as they say in the market, with child. Of course by that, they meant she was going to have a baby, not that a child was with her holding her hand or nothin’. I frankly don’t understand folks sometimes.

“Follow me,” I told the man. I waited until Keloe had closed the door before I added, “Actually, you’re lucky. The stable is much warmer and has a better class of vermin than in the inn.”

The man darted a look at me and then smiled. He looked back at the woman, and he was serious again. She was young and pretty in a quiet sort of way. I led them around back to where Keloe had dug several rooms into the hill to make a place for the animals. We had one empty stall, though.

I grabbed a pole and raked the fresh straw over the area.

The woman gave a little gasp.

“Mary!” the man said.

I realized then and there that she was ‘bout to give birth there and then.

“Help me,” the man said. We both helped his Mary into the stable. I found some clean blankets from some of the packs of the inn’s guests and spread them out.

“We need light,” the man said. “And water.”

I ran to the inn and snatched up a olive oil lamp. The cook tried to stop me, but I ducked under his arm and was outside and back at the stable before he drew enough breath to bellow.

I gave the lamp to the man and then went to get some water from the well. I felt a real urgency about this that, looking back, should have surprised me, but it was like the whole night was expectin’ somethin’. I felt my heart leap and move in my chest in a strange new way.

I brought the man the water bucket and then backed away from the stable. Overhead the star poured out light like it was a river of brightness.

“There you are,” Galene said. “What are you up to? You have cook so mad—”

“Shhh,” I said, reaching out and taking her hand.

“Now, I already told you that you won’t be getting no sweetness from me until you marry—” she began.

“Be quiet,” I said. “Listen. Listen.”

She was silent for a few moments and then quietly asked, “What are we listening for?” Her eyes were wide.

The night was still and quiet. The stars whirled above.

“For the world to change,” I said, not really understanding what I was sayin’ but knowin’ somehow it was true.

From inside the stable came a baby’s first cry.

Excerpted from Tales of Bethlehem. Copyright 2011 by Stephen B. Bagley. All rights reserved. No copying without express written permission from the author and publisher.
****
That's all for today. See you tomorrow!

Oakleaf Harbor Christmas Cards now on sale!
Buy Floozy and Other Stories at Amazon.com
Buy Floozy and Other Stories at Barnes&Noble.com
Buy Floozy and Other Stories in paperback at Lulu.com
Buy Floozy and Other Stories in hardcover at Lulu.com
Buy Murder by Dewey Decimal at Amazon.com
Buy Murder by Dewey Decimal at Barnes&Noble.com
Buy Murder by Dewey Decimal at BooksAMillion.com
Buy Murder by Dewey Decimal at Lulu.com
Buy Murder by the Acre at Amazon.com
Buy Murder by the Acre at Barnes&Noble.com
Buy Murder by the Acre at BooksAMillion.com
Buy Murder by the Acre in soft cover at Lulu.com
Buy Murder by the Acre in hardcover at Lulu.com
Buy Floozy, MBTA & MBDD items and more at Oakleaf Harbor

HSCC 2011.3: Mo Tab sings

2011-12-03T11:28:00.002-06:00

For the third day of our Harbor Street Christmas Celebration 2011, we share more music, this time from the Mormon Tabernacle Choir. Enjoy!
***
The Mormon Tabernacle Choir performing a Betelehemu, a Nigerian Carol. (The lyrics are below.)

Here is the translation of the lyrics.
We are glad that we have a Father to trust.
We are glad that we have a Father to trust.
Where was Jesus born?
Where was He born?
Bethelehemu, the city of wonder
This is where the Father was born for sure.
Praise, praise, praise be to Him.
We thank Thee, We thank Thee, We thank Thee for this day,
Gracious Father.
Praise, praise, praise be to Thee,
Merciful Father.
***
And that's it for today. See you tomorrow!

Oakleaf Harbor Christmas Cards now on sale!
Buy Floozy and Other Stories at Amazon.com
Buy Floozy and Other Stories at Barnes&Noble.com
Buy Floozy and Other Stories in paperback at Lulu.com
Buy Floozy and Other Stories in hardcover at Lulu.com
Buy Murder by Dewey Decimal at Amazon.com
Buy Murder by Dewey Decimal at Barnes&Noble.com
Buy Murder by Dewey Decimal at BooksAMillion.com
Buy Murder by Dewey Decimal at Lulu.com
Buy Murder by the Acre at Amazon.com
Buy Murder by the Acre at Barnes&Noble.com
Buy Murder by the Acre at BooksAMillion.com
Buy Murder by the Acre in soft cover at Lulu.com
Buy Murder by the Acre in hardcover at Lulu.com
Buy Floozy, MBTA & MBDD items and more at Oakleaf Harbor