Pout

And how are you on this bright Saturday? Except it's not bright here; it's cloudy and windy, and I am in a major pout.

Yes, yes, yes, I know. Pouting is unattractive and immature. If my mother was still alive, she would have plenty to say to me. And it would all be good advice. "Count your blessings." "Grow up." "Get busy." "Pray." "Hope." "Sing." "Work." "Do your chores." My mama was a practical person.

So I know what I should I do. Pick myself up. Get moving. Pursue my dreams.

However ...

I find myself sitting in my dark living room, mindlessly watching old and dumb TV shows. I find myself tossing and turning in bed until I get up and wander my house at night. I find myself refusing to do any of these things that I should be doing.

Not quite true.

I am doing one thing. And I suspect it's the cause of this extended pout. I'm on a low low low carb diet for my blood sugar. And I am keeping that. I'm not drinking fruit juices, I'm not devouring bread, I'm not enjoying pasta, I'm not gorging on Little Debbie Oatmeal Cream Cookies, I'm not guzzling Dr Pepper, I'm not doing dozens of things I used to do. And ... I miss them.

Oh Lord how I miss them.

The diet is working. Dang it. My blood sugar is trending low. Not as low as I'd hope -- as I think it should be considering how hard I'm finding this -- but lower than ever. I've even had normal levels -- I should say normal like non-diabetics since my normal is apparently around 200, which is bad, but feels so much better than 103.

Well, there I am. And I'm so cranky. And depressed. Even Eeyore would find me a downer. And I know I'm being one. Gloomy. Bleak. Goth. I'm even wearing black clothes. (Actually, I wear a lot of black, anyway, on the mistaken assumption that it hides some of my ... ah ... flab.) If I had black eye shadow -- well, I wouldn't wear it, but you get the point.

Enough of that. Let's count my blessings and accomplishments.

1. The diet is working.
2. I got the writers group anthology submitted to the publisher. We're not through with it yet, but we're so close I can taste it. I will be grateful when it's done.
3. I've been helping a friend work on his book of devotions. I'm hoping it should be out in September.
4. I kept up with most of my chores, although the house could do with a good dusting.
5. I've walked some at the gym. Not as much as I should have. But I have.
6. I had lunch with a couple of friends this week. And kept the diet.
7. Received a lot of nice compliments from the writers group members about the cover of the anthology, which did turn out nice.

Anyway, that's what I've been doing. Next week I want to not pout and write on Murder by the Mile. Sorry for the pout.

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