HSCC 2011.2: Hoho's, Languages & Andy

For our second day of the Harbor Street Christmas Celebration 2011, I thought we'd have some Christmas groaners, how to say Merry Christmas in more languages than you will ever need, and the marvelous Andy Williams. Enjoy!

****
20 Christmas Groaners
What does a cat on the beach have in common with Christmas?
Sandy claws.

Which of Santa’s reindeer has bad manners?
Rude-alph!

What is green, white, and red all over?
A sun burnt elf! 

What is the best Christmas present in the world?
A broken drum — you can’t beat it! 

Why are Christmas trees like bad knitters?

They both drop their needles!

What’s red, white and blue at Christmas time?

A sad candy cane!

What do sheep say to each other at Christmastime?
Merry Christmas to ewe!

How do sheep say Merry Christmas in Mexico?
Fleece Navidad!

How do chihuahuas say Merry Christmas?
Fleas Navidog!

What's the best thing to put into Christmas dinner?
Your teeth!

Why should Christmas dinner always be well done?
So you can say “Merry Crispness!”

What comes at the end of Christmas Day?
The letter Y!

What did Adam say on the day before Christmas?
It’s Christmas, Eve!

What happens if you eat Christmas decorations?
You get Tinsel-itis!

“Do you ever buy any Christmas Seals?”
“No, I wouldn’t know how to feed them.”

What is the best key to get at Christmas?
A turkey!

Why is it so cold at Christmas?
Because it’s in Decembrrrr!

What kind of Christmas tree comes from Hawaii?
O Tanning Palms!

Where do mistletoe go to become famous?
Hollywood!

Why do mummies like Christmas so much?
Because of all the wrapping! 

****
Merry Christmas in Many Languages!
Afrikaner: Een Plesierige Kerfees
Argentinian: Felces Pasquas y felices Ano Nuevo
Arkansas: All y'alls have a mary Christmas ya hear
Armenian: Schernorhavor Dzenount
Bohemain: Vesele Vanoce
Bulgarian: Chestita Koleda
Chinese: Kung Hsi Hsin Niene bing Chu Shen Tan
Computer: 01001101 01000101 01010010 01010010 01011001 01000011 01001000 01010010 01001001 01010011 01010100 01001101 01000001 01010011
Croatian: Sretan Bozic
Danish: Glaedelig Jul
England: Cherrio! Hav'a cuppa, goven'r! Happy yules
Esperanto: Gajan Kristnaskon
Estonian: Roomsaid Joulu Puhi
Finnish: Houska Joulua
Flemish: Vrolike Kerstmis
French: Joyeux Noel
German: Froehliche Weihnachten
Gore: Christmas lights contribute to global warming so turn them off
Greek: Kala Christougena
Dutch: Vrolyk Kerfeest en Gelukkig Nieuw Jaar
Hungarian: Kellemes Karacsonyi unnepeket
Iraqian: Idah Saidan Wa Sanah Jadidah
Irish: Nodlaig mhaith chugnat
Italian: Buon Natale
Japanese: Meri Kurisumasu
Jugoslavian: Cestitamo Bozic
Klingon: (Nothing because they’re not real. They’re fictional. The Federation doesn’t exist. Get a life.)
Lettish: Priecigus Ziemassvetkus
Lithuanian: Linksmu Kaledu
New York: Shut up and get out of my way, you freak
Norwegian: God Jul og Godt Nytt Aar
Oklahoman: Merry Christmas, y'all
Polish: Boze Narodzenie
Portuguese: Boas Festas y Feliz Ano Novo
Ridiculously inoffensive: Happy non-specific occasion
Rumanian: Sarbatori vesele
Russian: S Rozhdestvom Kristovym
Serbian: Hristos se rodi
Slovakian: Vesele vianoce
Spanish: Feliz Navidad
Swedish: God Jul
Texan: Merry Thankgivin'
Turkish: Noeliniz Ve Yeni Yiliniz Kutlu Olsun
Ukrainian: Chrystos Rozdzajetsia Slawyte Jeho
Welsh: Nadolig Llawen

****
The marvelous Andy Willaims!



****
And that's it for today! Talk to you tomorrow!

Oakleaf Harbor Christmas Cards now on sale!
Buy Floozy and Other Stories at Amazon.com
Buy Floozy and Other Stories at Barnes&Noble.com
Buy Floozy and Other Stories in paperback at Lulu.com
Buy Floozy and Other Stories in hardcover at Lulu.com
Buy Murder by Dewey Decimal at Amazon.com
Buy Murder by Dewey Decimal at Barnes&Noble.com
Buy Murder by Dewey Decimal at BooksAMillion.com
Buy Murder by Dewey Decimal at Lulu.com
Buy Murder by the Acre at Amazon.com
Buy Murder by the Acre at Barnes&Noble.com
Buy Murder by the Acre at BooksAMillion.com
Buy Murder by the Acre in soft cover at Lulu.com
Buy Murder by the Acre in hardcover at Lulu.com
Buy Floozy, MBTA & MBDD items and more at Oakleaf Harbor