Tuesday, August 31, 2004

     I told a friend of mine once that we all get the life we choose. I've been pondering that ever since I said it. Is it true? Do we get the life we choose? I mean, I'm not living the life I want to. My job is hard and unrewarding. I don't have anyone to share a laugh and a slap-and-tickle. Did I choose this?
     The answer is yes. I did choose this life. I made the choices that led here. Not gifted with foresight, I made what I thought were good choices at the time. And even now, I can't fault myself for what I did. Back then, I was trying to make things turn out right, trying to pay the price for everyone else, trying to make sacrifice mean something.
     No one minds dying if they think they're going to be a hero. Then they get to be noble. That's easy. Instead, we wrestle with the day to day. The nothingness. The endless ritual of baths and laundry and clothes and meals and work and and and and and and and ...
     Being a hero isn't hard. Anyone can be a hero. It's the everyday life that kills us. The endless hours. The meaningless moments that stretch until the days bury hope. The people who face the day after day are brave. They might not think they are, but they are.
     So this is me lifting my cup to all those who struggle: to K. who hates his job but is afraid to leave; to G. who is struggling with her family and her life and losing a dream; to M. who thinks she isn't worthy and really is; to H. who's been afraid her whole life to live but still keeps trying; to S. and J. who are struggling with mid-life; to everyone who rolls out of bed each day and gets their kids to school and goes to work and cares for their fellow man; to the people who bring unexpected doughnuts; to all the unpublished writers who keep putting the words down on paper; to all of you, may God keep and richly bless you in all the ways that you deserve.
     And maybe when He's bestowing these graces, He'll send a few my way.

5 comments:

Trixie said...

Oh man. That's deep and painful. I can agree with a lot of what you say. But I hope, and pray, that tomorrow you will have such a day that will put your feet high up on a mountain. I hope the sun just swallows you up and fills your very soul with joy and warmth.
Often we do put ourselves on the track to be where we are. But I learned, one day, the truth in the statement "ye have not because ye ask not."
Let's ask, and then receive.

Unknown said...

Wait until you put all this stuff into practice.

Gloria Williams said...

I think people make the wrong choices many times, and then they moan and whine about the results of those choices. I know I spend too much time after the fact asking God to help me get out of a mess when I should have asked his help in the first place and avoided the whole mess. It's a lesson I seem to be learn constantly.

Anonymous said...

You made me think yesterday and you made me think today. STOP THAT! :) As well written as always. You should be a writer. :)
-Susan

Anonymous said...

I do think we are drawn to making certain decisions in life that end us up in situations where we look around and say to ourselves, how did I end up here? and you are right, we tend to do what we have to, whether it be for the good of everyone around us or just plain survival. I think Trixie and Gloria said it well, I also think that sometimes we pray for things and when our prayers are answered it wasn't what we bargained for. Like the old saying "be careful what you ask for, you might just get it". It is easy to get bored and restless when faced with the day to day practice of living, the mundane chores of life. The fact is, we need the sameness every day, it is up to us not to get bored and restless. If there was constant excitement and upheaval our nerves couldn't take it. susan2